We're close to half way through the Pac-10 season, which means it's time to test the knowledge you've attained so far. No fair peeking!!

PAC-10 FOOTBALL MIDTERM

1. Now that Tyrone Willingham has been fired, what should he do with his newfound job security through the end of the season?

1.  Coach an entire game with a Magic 8 Ball
   
2.  Dress like a purple Zorro on the sideline and blitz all 11 defenders on every down
   
3.  tell the NCAA where the Don James Era buried the bodies
   
4.  start a really big March Madness pool

2. Washington State's season was over when...

1.  they lost 8 scholarships in the off-season due to various misconduct
   
2.  they hired a coach who closely resembles the Incredible Hulk--only he's not green
   
3.  two quarterbacks broke their backs against Portland State
   
4.  Sean Canfield shot a silver bullet into their crimson hearts

Continue reading this post »

Note: Sorry duckies, we were only kidding!  CV3000 is back for the season.  Here we  have an exclusive interview with this celebrity Oregon State blogger.

Denver Police Pepper Spraying Protesters?  Nope.  CV3000 Spraying Serious Truth. via extras.mnginteractive.com

Jake: You've had quite a long layoff since you were fired. What have you been doing to stay in shape?

CV3000: I've been staying away from the chilidogs and really hitting the 12 ounce curls to make sure I'm ready for Stanford. I added in some 1 ounce lifts for endurance, as well. I think that should help as the season goes on.  Been reading some articles, too.

Jake: Why were duck fans calling for your head?

CV3000: Not really sure.  All I did was tell them the truth about the talent level of their offensive line and provide a link to a newspaper article that says they block below the waist.  I always thought that was just a euphemism.

Jake: Who was calling for your head? Do you think it was fair?

CV3000: The duck fans who were mad at me are the same ones who were mad that John Canzano and The New York Times both wrote about Colleen Bellotti attacking a journalist in the press box at their stadium. 

Of course, these are also the same fans who think that Justin Roper was their 5th string quarterback last year, when he was clearly the 2nd best one that played.  ]Obviously, you don't even have to know who Cam Colvin is to recognzie that their coaches historically have some talent evaluation issues--ed.]  And they're the same fans who say that Roper can't be a good option quarterback, because they say he's "not agile enough."

In actuality, Roper's shuttle run time is MUCH faster than Jonathan Stewart's was.  So that pretty much tells you all you need to know about how informed their fans are.  They also booed Dennis Dixon at Autzen Stadium last year.  That needs to be pointed out in this paragraph.

Jake:  Booing Dennis Dixon at the Houston game last year was pretty classless, even by UO fan behavior standards.   Wait.  Roper is more agile than Jonathan Stewart, a first round draft pick at running back?  Is that true?

CV3000: Google that (lawyers).  20 yard shuttle drill:

Roper-3.91

Stewart-4.34

 don't think that means Stewart is technically a stiff.  I look at it as: duck fans can't read good.

[You should always add .24 seconds to convert hand-timing (which Roper's time probably is) to electronic times (which Stewart's definitely is, as his was from the NFL combine)--ed.]I

Jake: Wow.  That's a big difference. 

So what surprised you the most about this whole situation?

Continue reading this post »

It is with a heavy heart that we bring this sad news to you.  We had some recent allegations against CV3000, claiming that he makes things up about the 5th place ducks (he didn't make that up--they did finish 5th in the Pac-10), and so we had to perform an investigation. 

Here are the complaints:

Wow, they really should fire CV3000

I have friends at OSU and I don’t think this bitterness and lack of college football knowledge is a good indicator of Beaver fans. Grow Up and try and make a blog based on facts……………..try to.

by a duck fan on Aug 20, 2008 10:02 PM PDT

In that quote from the article about UW practicing for chop blocking….. there isn’t one mention about the University of Oregon, so just because you have a hatred for us doesn’t mean you can make up things about our team. It sounds like they are just practicing it to practice it and be ready. Never heard anything about us being dirty in any media. So I really think you should rethink your way of writing here. I’m all for a little sly and witty jabs here and there but your end, right now, is getting childish and pathetic. ... Just saying there are a lot more important things for your team you could be talking about then making up things about your fellow Oragonians 45 minutes south.

by A duck fan who was up past midnight--on a week night, obsessing for several hours about the Beavers on Aug 21, 2008 12:17 AM PDT

"The duck fan gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, ever ything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. The duck fan loved Big Brother."