There's something that I really have to get off my chest, and I think it has been mentioned on Bloody Elbow before. 

Dana White is having an arguement with himself. He either thinks, or pretends to think, that he is having an argument with Emilianenko Fedor. But really, it's with himself.

Fedor is a [snorking] joke...

[He] turns down a huge deal and the opportunity to face the best in the world to fight nobodies, for no money. Fedor is a [crandlebarge]...

White consistently falls back on the arguement that Fedor is somehow ducking competition. That if he doesn't fight in the UFC, he isn't proving himself to be the best. 

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Yeah baby. 

Next to jump on the Fedor / Barnett manure wagon is Donald Frye. He took time out from single-handedly exploding the hell out of middle-eastern dictators, chopping down trees with his moustache, headbutting rogue narwhals and firing missiles at comets to talk to MMA Weekly.

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Josh issued a statement via that bastion of professionalism, Myspace.

I'd like to analyse it and try to extrapolate some meaning. 

Many of you are wondering what's happening.  What I can say is that when applying for my license, the CSAC asked for me to submit a urine sample for testing prior to granting my license as they do with everyone, I believe. It was not a random test. I had no reason to believe there would be any issues and went in to submit my sample at the earliest possible opportunity on June 25th.  I never once thought there would be a problem.  

My representatives and I are working to gather as much info as possible and handle this situation as best as we can. I am embarrassed and want for nothing more than to resolve this issue and receive a license from the State of California as I have done many times already and for other states as well.
I am very thankful for all the great family, friends and fans that still support me.

Sincerely,


Josh

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Wow, UFC 100 hey? What an event. Phew, gee whiz. It sure was... hundredy. All kinds of hundred related shenanigans. A veritable hootenanny of fighty goodness.

• Hot diggety damn, Akiyama is sexy. I liked his entrance, but I wonder how he liked kneeling down in puddles of piss and vomit and tobacco spit? He didn't look like Mr. Sexy Hollywood or whatever he wanted to be though as he went in. More like Mr. Pretty Nervous About This Fight Actually. Not surprising really.
  
• Goldberg says "teep" like my Dad says "chillax". It just makes me cringe.
  
• With a name like Belcher, you better be able to fight. He'll be one of those guys that goes back to a highschool reunion ten years later covered in grease with his eyes popping out yelling "WHO WANTS TO CALL ME BURP BOY NOW HUH? HUH?! WHO'S BELCHY BELCHYSTINK FACE NOW BITCHES!1?"
  
• Dan Henderson may well have emailed Bisping about a week before the fight with the subject "BIG RIGHT HAND" and an attachment of a giant picture of a fist flying towards Bisping's face. I mean, could he have telegraphed it any more? Pawing with the lead hand and cocking the right back so far his knuckles were practically dragging on the floor. All you needed was a power indicator on the screen slowly filling with flashing green.
  
• Perhaps Michael Bisping was having some kind of east / west atlantic confusion thing going on, and thought that in Vegas, you circle into the great ape's mega powerful right hand instead of away from it. 
• The punch after the punch: Dan Henderson has eerily accurate powers of prediction, shutting Bisping's mouth with his fist. What would have been more accurate would be if Henderson had have said "I'm gonna shut his mouth with my fist. Then I am going to take a flying leap at his prostrate form and hammer the ever-loving shit out of his unconscious face with my forearm so that his toes go stiff and he forgets his wife's name."
• GSP: Pure, unadulterated awesomeness. Officially zooms straight to the number one spot in my book. More impressive than Anderson Silva, more active than Fedor, and an even better wrestler than Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior combined.
  
• Could Alves look any more like a pitbull? Only if he humped GSP's leg and pinched out a loaf on the edge of the octagon.
  
• Brock Lesnar walks like an old man.
  
• I think Mir had confidence right up until he actually made contact with Lesnar and Lesnar commenced hulk-smashing him.
  
• Lesnar beat Mir like I used to get beaten up by my friend's big brothers. He should really have grabbed Mir's fists and made him pummel himself in the face and done the "quit hitting yourself" thing. Or maybe grabbed Mir's foot and done the same. 
• Only someone really really really mean can hold a grudge on someone after they've crunched their face into a bloody pulp. If Lesnar keeps demolishing people like this, eventually the UFC is going to have to include a clause in the small print that states people with "tattoos of giant cocks on their chestal area may be stripped of the title and turned into cat food at any time" as the only way to get rid of him. Or get someone to antagonise him so badly he actually eats somebody in the cage. They should get Pornstache Mazagatti in there to referee a rubber match with Mir in as biased a way as possible. That should about do it. I can just see Lesnar rubbing his belly and making slurping noises as Pornstache's legs fwip through his lips like spaghetti, Dana White jumping up and down in the background banging Lorenzo Fertootoo on the head with a stick.
• Frank Mir may be in the same boat as Rich Franklin was after he had his nasal cavity ransacked by Anderson Silva; he's just going to have to divide the people in his weight class into two categories: people who are Brock Lesnar, and people who aren't.
• I'm back, dickpunchers!

UFC 100 coverage

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