You probably don't know who Ebby Nelson-Addy is. He never made a first team appearance at Villa. And to the great sadness of a few of us, he probably never will.

Even on the reserves team, he was by no means a regular. He made only 11 appearances over 2 seasons, in most of which, he was brought off the bench. It doesn't make a ton of sense why a send off would be written for Ebby.

But to me and others, he will always be known as The Chimney Sweep (2).

"The Chimney Sweep" was a name first given to Ellis Deeney in a fan post I wrote almost a year ago. I gave him this name, because "Ellis Deeney" could easily be the name of a 19th century chimney sweep. However, as soon I wrote this, Deeney would leave the club and go to Kettering Town, who occupy(-ied, they got relegated) the Conference, 5th division of English football.

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Last night the Aston Villa players gathered for their official awards night, even though the deserved winner of player of the season is on the Galaxy.

We here at 7500 to Holte have also decided to give out some awards, although our winners will be....slightly different. The 7500 Award Show consisted of me announcing the awards standing in front of a mirror in a shirt and tie and no pants.

Our Awards will feature 100% less Alex McLeish and 100% more Gun Goat.

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Gun Goat is a heavily armed, football managing goat. He will occasionally be posting his thoughts on Aston Villa here at 7500. You can follow him on Twitter @GunGoat, and join the #GunGoatForVillaManager movement.

Anyone who follows Aston Villa will know that something has been up this season with Charles N'Zogbia. Rumours have swirled around for months now of a rift between Blazing Roaches and my Aston Villa manager predecessor, Alex McLeish. While this has been denied by the Ginger One, some of the Twitter postings of N'Zogbia point to problems.

If I had been in charge of Villa, we would not have these problems.

First off, I would almost always give him 90 minutes. Many times this season, Charles has been brought off after 70, or so, minutes, when there were other players who were more in need of being taken off. Too often has N'Zogbia been brought off while the glorified lawn mower that is James Collins has been left on the pitch to make a stupid mistake.

Secondly, I'd keep him away from Alan Hutton. That ought to make anyone's mood improve.

Thirdly, I'd try to accommodate his skill set more than it currently is. Now, I'm not sure how quite to do this, because my assistant manager, Machete Elk, is better suited to talk about tactics.

If this fails, I would just remind him that I have guns.

Those of you that are readers of the comments of open threads will know that I watch cricket.

Being that they are both sports where someone throws a ball and you try to hit it with a bat, baseball and cricket have some similarities.

And that whole having too much time on my hands, led me to imagine what the Yankees would be like as a cricket team. So I wrote this.

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I think it's become quite clear to everyone that Alex McLeish won't be leaving us for a while. He does not want to quit, and we have no plans to fire him. So this means that the only way to get rid of him, would be for him to find another job. So perhaps with some suggestions we can find something that Non-Sir would enjoy doing, and we can get him as far away from our club as possible.

Here goes:

• Chelsea Manager
• Rangers Man....oh wait
• Traveling Ginger Boring Football Manager Comedy duo with Gary Megson
• Traveling Ventriloquism Act (Alan Hutton is the dummy)
• Helicopter Pilot (Seeing as he likes things in the air. Eh, eh? Get it everyone?)
• Scotland Man...oh wait
• Professional Darts Player
• Bathroom Attendant
• Alex Ferguson's Assistant (Not his Assistant Manager, his personal assistant)
• Consultant on the new Football Manager game, where he creates Ask Alex!: a feature where you can Ask Alex advice on what do about tactics and he tells you to buy Alan Hutton
• Starring in a remake of The Odd Couple with Andre Villas-Boas
• Deadpan Stand Up Comedian (So deadpan in fact, that no one gets it)
• Manager of a McDonald's franchise, where even the awkward 16 year olds who have to sweep the parking lot call him Ronald

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While watching the match today some harrowing thoughts went through my mind. (These thoughts happened before the two Villa goals, but I think this is relevant anyway.)

Someone I follow on Twitter, retweeted something about where you will be in five years. I'll probably have died from a bear tranquilizer overdose. (In lieu of flowers, send puppies!) (Just kidding no I won't.) (No I won't?)But this got me to thinking about Villa. Where the hell will the Villa be in five years?

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Well that sucked.

Actually, the first half was awesome. The second half sucked.

Despite Arsenal bossing the game early, two goals before halftime, from Richard Dunne and Darren Bent, had Villa fans dreaming about a deep Cup run.

Some horrific defending early in the second half killed those dreams, then dug up the body and killed it more.

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I would think that 2011 is a year that most Villa fans would like to forget. Sure April to May wasn't that bad, but the rest of it pretty much sucked.

But 2012 is upon us. It's a chance to change. But it's more likely that things will remain the same.

What you don't know, is that I got a Villa Crystal Ball for Christmas. (It looks like Stephen Ireland's shaven head.) And I have been looking into the future and know what the New Year holds for the Villa. Here's is 2012 in the life of Aston Villa.

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Lost in the fervor (sleep) of Villa's boxing day battle (light jog) against Stoke, was the players taking part in their annual Secret Santa exchange. Many of the players were happy to not have Ash Young in the draw, as he always gave 7x11 glossies of himself. And, in retrospect, I think Stiliyan Petrov giving Stewart Downing that Liverpool shirt last year was a bad idea.

But the players were excited to give and receive their presents.

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Logos in American sports are fairly literal.  Teams called the Wildcats have a logo of a wildcat.  Soccer crests are less literal.  This is probably because, especially in England,  a lot of these teams were founded in the late 1800s and early 1900s and their nicknames have a unique background.

No part of Aston Villa Football Club infers a lion, but the Villa crest has a lion right in the middle.  And there's been a lion in the crest since the earliest version I could find.  (According to the Villa sites, it's the Rampant Lion of Scotland, there because of the influence of William McGregor and George Ramsay.)

Some crests, don't make much sense.  And thanks to the magic that is Wikipedia, here are some amusing ones.

This all started off for me, when I found the crest of FC Avenir Beggen, a third division club from Luxembourg.

That does appear to be a gnome humping a football.

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Twas the night before Kickoff, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a City's fan louse.
The kits were hung in the closet with care,
In hopes that The Villa soon would be there.

The supporters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of internet streams danced in their heads.
And mamma in her Bent kit, and I in my scarf,
Decided to get ready for another Villa season that would surely make us barf.

When out on the pitch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to which Villan had sprained their bladder. (And is out 2-4 weeks.)
Away to the window I flew like a Gab,
Tore open the shutters and started to sob.

The moon on the breast of the new-rolled out grass
Gave way to the sounds of some Villa fan's sass.
When, suddenly my eyes saw a scum fan's flare,
But it was actually Big Eck, and all eleven players.

With a little old manager, so crazy and ginger,
I knew in a moment it wasn't Arsne Wenger.
More rapid than Stoke his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Elfboy now, Roaches! now, Bazza and Shay!
On, Collins! On, Bent! On Warnock! No, not you Beye!
To the top of the table! to the FA Cup Final!
Now dash away! And please no injures that are spinal!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the pitch
The prancing of diving poofs. who are super rich.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the right wing, Marc Albrighton came with a bound.

He was dressed all in claret, from his head to his elf shoes,
And he was so adorable fans that the Fulham fans booed.
A bundle of crosses he had flung with his foot,
And he looked chimney sweep, covered in soot.

He was shortish and quick, a right jolly old elf,
And I swooned when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Just one Tweet reply to me and I would be dead.

And Big Eck's eyes, oh how they twinkled! his accent so scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the ginger of his head showed him to be from Glasgow.

The job he had previously made all the Villa fans mad,
But he swore that soon the protesters would be glad.
He had a suit and a tie and a League Cup title,
But it was the style he played the protesters said was vital!

He spoke not a word, and sorta went straight to his work,
And signed a Frenchman and an Irishman, who I hope aren't jerks.
And in his Scottish accent, which is such a blast,
He gave a hint that the Zoggy signing wouldn't be his last!

He sprang to the touchline, to his team gave a whistle,
And they took the pitch to play, hopefully not like Partick Thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, hoping to give his team a spark.
"Happy kickoff to all, and please no more Ian Darke!"

Has anyone thought about a deal for (Player on Another Team who probably won't get traded)?  I really think the Yankees could use another (position that we probably don't need another of).  I would make an initial offer of (prospect, Read: Jesus Montero).  If they don't agree to that, I would be willing to part with (another prospect who still won't get the deal done).    Look at (trade target's) stats, especially his (random stat that helps get his/her point across while ignoring other ones that hurt his/her point,  Read: ERA).  We need another (position) to compete with (team who we probably won't even play against in the playoffs with it being a crap shoot and all).  Get it done Cashman!!!

After getting bored yesterday, I decided to start a new game on the crack cocaine that is better known as Football Manager.  (I have a Villa FM game started, but I keep getting frustrated and exiting the game in the middle of a match against Manchester United, cause fucking Chicharito keeps scoring against me.  Fuck him.)  I picked a 2nd division Icelandic team with the entire purpose of fooling around with it, which lead me to use this formation on the suggestion of some people from right here at 7500.

I somehow only lost 2-1, but it got me thinking of other formations that we would either love or be terrified if the new boss rolled out this August.

The Big Eck Special

 

Five at the back, two defensive midfielders, and one up top.  Only way it could be more perfectly boring is if Carew was still around, and it was him up top, as a target man.

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Here's mine/Barry Bannan's(even though he doesn't know it) views on the 2010-2011 Aston Villa Football Club Season.

August:Season started with the fantastic 3-0 win over West Ham, followed by the Newcastle disaster, and the Europa League exit, but ended on a high note with a win over Everton.  The two losses were especially painful, but it was still early, and everything looked pretty good.

Mood: Content

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Spring Training is here and all the players have gone to Tampa to get ready for the season. The guys have no doubt been telling each other tales of how they spent their winter vacation.

CC Sabathia

Reportedly gave up on his Cap'nCrunch habit in order to get in better shape.

Joba Chamberlain

Reportedly started a Cap'n Crunch habit.

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It's no secret that any picture featuring Bazza and Elfboy is quite adorable.

But upon further review, all of the youngsters are pretty damn adorable.

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With news still continuing to flow out that the powers that be in MLB still want to expand the playoffs, now is a perfect time as any to give my solution to the problem.

Now, I realize that despite what the MLB is saying, the bottom line is, that this is about money.  They want to add at least 4 more games, with the possibility for six more.  And it adds two more sets of fans watching the broadcasts and blah, blah, blah.  While, I'm sure they would like it if, for example this season, the Yankees and Rays fought it out all the way down the stretch instead of neither one seemingly able to take control, this is still more about money.

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