North America was collectively pissed when the Riddler owned the podium.

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Hail, Hail Robonia, A land I didn't make up......

This is it, the big one. Aside from that trifling matter of little or no importance tomorrow of course. Tonight will decide both the men's bronze medal in ice hockey and European bragging rights until the next meeting of the EU farming policy unit in Brussels. Not only that - the world will discover which nation is best at being not quite the best at hockey.

Will the parliamentary republic prevail or the semi-presidential republic? Will Karjalanpiirakat win out over Bryndzové Halušky? Twenty four hours and the actions of forty five good men and true (and also Jarkko Ruuto, I guess) will tell us all we need to know!

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Canada/USA, Russia/Czech Republic, Sweden/Finland. What a great day of hockey this promises to be.

The pressure people put on themselves and the rivalry between the teams is much more marked.

And I think that's a good thing. As long as that rivalry remains within the spirit of competition, it can only spur everyone on.

                                                                                                                                                                               Eric Cantona

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You know, a lot people have asked me how I'm able to follow sports that take place when most sensible people are in bed. The answer of course, is simple. Booze. That's right, short upon double upon measure upon pint upon litre upon boot upon yard of heady intoxicant.

Something as special and action packed as the Winter Games calls for something a little rarer though. Sure, a good windscreen de-icer will see you though a Flames/Avs matchup at silly o'clock - but that just won't cut the mustard when you're flipping between the four man bobsleigh and the pairs compulsory dance program. With this in mind, I give you a little cheeky something of my own creation - the Mattblack wonderful winter warmer!  For this, you will need:

• A fifth of Crown Royal, to own the podium (and later, the bathroom).
  
• A fifth of vodka, for your latent Russian soulfulness and the distant call of the Steppes.
  
• A fifth of rum, in memory of Cool Runnings and the late Gordon Lightfoot John Candy.
• A dash of rather unpleasant bile from overseas journalists (especially those from countries who really will show the world how to make a balls of running an Olympics in about ooo, 30 months time or so).
• A snifter of hot, cross and indignant tears caused by the above.
• A splash of shame and jealousy from when you realise you will never, ever date anyone as downright erotic as a female Curling skip.
• A can of warm, flat beer to celebrate that Great Britain ARE THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD AT WOMENS FACE FIRST SLIDING ON TEA TRAYS AT A SPEED BEYOND REASON!! IN YOUR FACE, HOLLINGSWORTH!!! TEAM GB!! TEAM GB!!!
  
• That bottle of unidentified green liquid that your brother brought back from Bulgaria, with a laughing Cossack pictured on the label.

Mix together well in a cocktail shaker, serve over ice into a straight glass. Keep a bucket handy, along with your Cliff Notes on 'What makes 25-to-the-naked-eye-identical snowboard runs all very different'. Drink Responsibly.

Sláinte!

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Luke owns Ottawa so much, they should just rename the team the "Schennators"

Our very own Archimedies, via Twitter

It's hard to imagine that the Blue and White wouldn't be charged up for the fourth battle of Ontario of the year after events of the last few days, but those boys certainly delivered at the ACC last night.

Choicest cut - it's my strong contention that JS is channelling Jet Li in Hero right at this moment in time. Granted, that would make Jonas into Maggie Cheung, but stick with me here.

Looking forward to Leafs games, who da thunk it? What a difference a week makes....

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Just as I was posting the FTB earlier this afternoon, I saw something in my Twitter feed, to wit:

Source tells me "major changes" coming today for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Via DarrenDreger on Twitter, Sun 31 Jan 13:53

And my first thought was, 'Eff me, they're going to sack Wilson'. Oh ye (well, ME) of little faith....

Something enormous is about to go down. Working on it

Via DarrenDreger on Twitter, Sun 31 Jan 16:08

But what could the sharp harp have in store for us?

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Jesus H. Christ.

Now, I'm a big believer in that old "It's always the darkest just before dawn" doctrine, but this really takes the biscuit. And the cup of coffee it came with. And the table you're drinking it off. And probably your pants too. I haven't been this depressed since the last time I caught sight of myself naked in a mirror.

The weekend desk isn't one for getting all biblical very often but as PPP says in his review, when that shorty went in, you just knew, didn't you? It was preordained. And all with the leering visage of Raycroft in goal too. Look at that picture to the right. Are you seriously telling me that there was NO-ONE with a Molotov cocktail and a decent throwing arm in the ACC last night? Justice takes many forms, but there is no justice like angry mob justice.

Hey ho. Same time again, Tuesday night? New Jersey again, you say? And then again on Friday? Looks like we chose the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

BREAKING NEWS

Source tells me "major changes" coming today for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

DarrenDreger, via Twitter at 08:53 EST.

FURTHER

While details are few, sources say the Toronto Maple Leafs are on the verge of completing at least one trade today that will be viewed as a "major change."

Specifics as to whether the deal will be for an upgrade in goal, or for offensive help, weren't provided, however this deal and potentially others are very close to being completed.

When asked if these "major changes" were imminent, the source replied, "they should start happening today."

DarrenDreger on TSN

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The arrangements are made, the bells are ringing and no doubt there will be tears and a punch-up before bedtime - for today is the day for our glorious 2IC, Chemmy.

That's right folks, the wandering jammies have been been officially retired. From now on, it's early nights, matching knitwear and lower back pain. I'm sorry ladies, I really didn't mean to break it to you this way. Perhaps in time you'll learn to love again. If not, I understand the Sisters of St. Joseph on Bayview are hiring.

Of course, the events of today will make Chemmy a bigamist in the eyes of some folks as he has already taken the sacred vows with the mighty Blue and White. But then I suppose the very term 'Leafs Nation' sort of implies you chaps are quite relaxed about that sort of thing.

So ladies and gentlemen, please charge your glasses and join me in a toast to the Bride and Groom! And how lovely it is that they chose Chris Simon's birthday to tie the knot....

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• With no Leafs game last night (sit down the boy who cheered!), the Marlies moved into the spotlight - sadly going down 5 - 2 to the Houston Astros, Kyle Calder and Greg Scott with the markers.
• Dr Steve has thoughts on Friday's game in DC, along with some possible trading partners. 
• budblog takes the fire exit staircase down to the basement. 
• Proving that there is simply no issue that can't or won't be debated in the hockey world, Puck Daddy lists a roster or two for this years non-existent All Star game, a theme also picked up on by TML Fan Fury.
• Basing these theories on a whole, whacking great sixteen days of sample size, Hungry Leafs Fan has the early winners and losers of 2010. May contain reference to pretend fighting, I can't tell. 
• Friend of the show Sleza - back from a Latvian escapade - lists the background to her love of the good old hockey game.
• Goal of the year already? Or Team GB levels of defensive ineptitude? Footage from The Fanhouse to help you decide.
• That's about it. Any takers for the first half review of the AHL season in The Hockey News? No, didn't think so. 
• Non hockey jiggery-pokery - have a bit of First Person Tetris.

Bit slow today, innit? Hurl your links in the comments as and when you find them.

In an post-apocalyptic landscape, brought to the very brink of existence itself by a cataclysm known only as the 'JFJ Event', two figures move slowly through the ash-laden air.Their chances are not good, the statistics say 1 - 9 in the last ten games. The last ten games on THE ROAD.

One is young, well intentioned and keen to help the other poor wretches they find on their lonely march. His name is Jonas. The other is older, wizened and sick. He tries to protect Jonas from the dangers of life on THE ROAD, but knows he himself is dying. He carries a gun with two bullets in the chamber for when the time comes. His name is Vesa.

Vesa knows what lies ahead. Five of the next six games are on THE ROAD and he is already weak. The effort of liberation from Philadelphian oppression weighed heavily on his tired body - there is little or nothing more he can give. He will not see the summer. But still, they walk. They are the few good men left. They carry the torch for humanity.

And so they head south, to the sea. Scrounging for points where they can be found, going hungry when Vesa keeps getting punched in the junk. They walk. In search of a better place. A future.

Perhaps the only thing to be said for this sorry tale is that Viggo Mortensen and his stupid, chiseled good looks and his stupid, dreamy eyes are nowhere to be seen. To the links!

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• Another Saturday night in Palookaville and the Leafs fall 4 - 1 against the Penguins. Alex Tran at MLHS has his post game thoughts as does Toronto Mike and there's a review of the action from The Hockey News. Pensburgh supplies opinion from Pennsylvania.
• The Marlies fared no better, dropping a 3 - 1 decision against the Milwaukee Admirals - despite Joey Joe Joe stopping 34 of 36.
  
• Some lat breaking game reviews for the Buffalo game from Friday - flying in via budblog and Toronto Mike.
• We mentioned the blame game yesterday, today Dr Steve brings us the first sacrifice to the God of the penalty kill.
• Toronto Sports Media, on our current struggles and the most apposite headline of the year so far. 
• Via Kukla's Korner, The Omen has a quick word on the rest of the season for the Monster.
• A post from Jared, covering more than a sentence? Colour me intrigued! 10 positive predictions for the next ten years.
• The Hockey Writers have the final word on Ronnie W's little rageahol from the week past. 
• Two from Puck Daddy - Josh Harding's tribute to the great fire of Ottawa and when hockey goes bad in Russia. And by bad, I mean brilliant. 
• Last word goes to the greatest of all Keswick alumni - the soon to retire Curtis Joseph.
• EBREAKING...LATEBREAKING...LATEBRE - While our glorious Blue and White may not be going from strength to strength, the glorious Bloge Salming most certainly is. 

• Leafs played Buffalo who played Ryan Miller in goal and....I don't really need to finish that sentence, do I? Good on Jared, Under The Helmet of Slava Duris,  The Hockey News and Die By The Blade for saving me the trouble then.
• In further 'copping for a right beasting' news, the Marlies went down 5 - 1 against the Rivermen (putting to an end the age old question, 'But how will they play in Peoria')
• Dr Steve takes a long hard look at the parlous state of the Leafs penalty kill, on the back of not one but two articles on the same matter by Maple Leaf Hot Stove.
• Alec Brownscombe at MLHS has some thoughts on the blame game under way in Leafs Nation, with Toronto Sports Media covering William Houston's ill-judged tirade, putting the blame squarely with BB.
• Readers of a nervous disposition will be delighted to know that that was the end of the unpleasantness. Mostly. Let's raise spirits with a piece by Hockeycentric - Nazem and Jerry's adventures at the World Juniors.
• SBNation have been giving out the mid season awards - Danforth for the Hart! In related news, Space Weed has his own take on the Calder candidates for this year.
• It's not just the NHL who get to play in the winter at Fenway Park - the Puck Daddy NCAA report covers the latest collegiate news.
• When I said that was the end of the unpleasantness, I lied - and for that I apologise. From Habs Inside/Out (via Kuklas) it's Dr Scary Hat von Hagens and fully preserved human bodies playing hockey! (slight discretion advised, but it's basically just the same as watching Chelios.) 
• Last call - and a restful winter scene over Lake Ontario, courtesy of Torontoist. 

• The Leafs dropped the last game of their mini-road trip 3 - 1 last night against the Flames. Views from the side of righteousness and truth come from Jared and AkiSchennberg. Opinions from the forces of evil and misery from the gamethread at Matchsticks and Gasoline.  Dull but worthy copy comes from The Hockey News.
• The Marlies started the New Year in far finer fettle, taking out the Milwaukee Admirals 3 - 2 after a shootout at Ricoh Coliseum - Brendan Mikkelson and Andre Deveaux scoring in regulation, with Greg Scott potting the winner in the SO.
• Toronto Sports Media has been thinking about blame and where it ought to lie.
• A quick note from Maple Leaf Hot Stove, with news on the rehab of Chris DiDomenico.
• Hungry Leafs Fan has been at the Resolution juice, writing cheques his body surely can't cash. 
• Making the case for a Winter Classic game in Toronto, TML Fan Fury has a think on where such a game might be held.
• A piece from Sharks lauding mouthpiece, Fear The Fin next - looking at what the cap hit would be for the Olympic Rosters.
• 100 shots of  tequila at a 'high-end' Italian restaurant? That'll be the Oilers, then. 
• WHJC results - Slovakia 3 - 2 Austria. Russia 2 - 3 Switzerland (Toblerone takes on vodka and wins!) USA 6 - 2 Finland,  with Jerry D'Amigo slotting in two for the Shermans. Games today - Czech Republic/Latvia, and the semi-finals - Sweden/USA and Switzerland being mauled by Canada. 
• UPDATEORY - Satire hats at the ready as Sully Baseball puts forth his ideas for next Winter Classic!

The man who knew too much...

Gustavsson is going to start which makes me smile and he'll be facing off against Jaroslav Halak. That means that the Leafs will need about 50 shots to get 3 goals.

by PPP on Dec 26, 2009 8:00 PM GMT in Game Previews

BURN THE WITCH!!!!!

• Not much in the way of game reviews so far today, but maybe that's a good thing in the circumstances. bkblades provided a pimpin' pictorial preview, Jared becomes more succinct as the reverses pile up and The Hockey News is as dull and worthy as always. Four Habs Fans and Habs Eyes On The Prize celebrate with their usual evil doing.... 
• Part two of the Burkie Claus Christmas Spectacular comes courtesy of Space Weed.
• AkiSchennberg has a Christmas time greeting for all of you. All of you that is except Matt Stajan.
• The WJHC started off yesterday and the results were as follows - Czech Republic 1 - 10 Sweden. Canada 16 - 0 Latvia. Russia 6 - 2 Austria. USA 7 - 3 Slovakia.
  
• Eyebleaf can't wait for the Nazdaq to make millionaires of us all...
• ...and Toronto Mike finds the whole 16 - 0 thing somewhat unseemly.
  
• Let's round it off with a little bit of the old time hockey we love so much. Via The Hockey Writers, here are the 79/80 Bruins making a stand at Madison Sq. Gardens. 
• UPDATE - Eagle-eyed pedantry fan frag points out that Jerry D'Amigo was player of the game for Team USA yesterday.

I'll be rainin' down the pain on anyone who describes these links as 'shoddy'.

• At this time of contemplation and reflection, let's look back at where it all began for Bloge Salming.
• Friend of the show Loser Domi dusts off the second part of part three of her Holiday Kesstacular, in glorious technicolour.
• Space Weed gets all story-telling too, with part one of Burkie Claus's Christmas Spectacular.
• Seasonal greetings from the downright swell Vintage Leafs.
• The Hockey Writers had a peep at the Leafs Christmas wishlist at the post office in Lapland - most wanted was 'Consistency'.
• The WJHC kicks off today in Regina today and I, as I'm sure many of you are, am wishing that Russia or Sweden or frankly anybody puts a stop to this rather dull era of Canadian domination some great hockey gets played. Puck Daddy has the 10 biggest stories going into the championships.
• ...whilst Out of Left Field has a little Yuletide irony on the matter....
• ...and TML Fan Fury briefly profiles the buds in the mix. 
• Four Habs Fans previews tonight's match-up with the Leafs in typically droll fashion.
• We done here? Oh, one last thing - Dee Snider of Twisted Sister wants to 'reclaim the horns'. Sign up and show your solidarity!
• UPDATE - General B will be saying hello to an old friend this evening.

So I says to God, I says "He's playing again tonight. Yeah, I know...dude couldn't stop a pig in passage and now he's backing us up against the Sabres."

You know God, he's sympathetic. Always has a good word for the Blue and White.

He says, "Don't you worry - I'll mess that Vesa up good this time, Sodom and Gomorrah style."

Brilliant, thinks I as I hang up the celestial hot line - the big fella has it covered. Turns out the schmuck thought we were playing in Ottawa. Either that or he'd been at the cherry brandy before unleashing the hellfire. Terrific, now we've got the Wild to placate AS WELL as the Toskala issue.

Maybe if we could tempt him into the mouth of a whale...

• Fun stuff and happy thoughts first. Reality and the misery of existence later. Bloge Salming brings you the products you'll all be shelling out for this festive season. 
• Keeping it light and delaying the inevitable for at least one more bullet point, why not join Down Goes Brown as he brings you part 1 of the 20 Leaf Moments of the Decade.
• Right then, for the masochists amongst you - let's talk game review. The Leafs took a 5 - 2 beating off the Sabres, thanks in no small part to he-who-shall-not-be-named. We're as mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! But in the meantime, the thoughts of Fallen Leafs, Toronto Mike, Truculence is Everything, esteemed colleague Wraparoundcurl, JaredFromLondon and the Hockey News. Die By The Blade count their lucky stars by contrast. 
• In keeping with the theme of general ineptitude, the Marlies went down 6 - 1 to the Hartford Wolf Pack - proving once more that a rubbish team name is no impediment to handing out a shellacking. 
• AkiSchennberg wants to talk to you about the number 13.
• The Hockey Writers speculate on what's going to need to happen for the magical PLAYOFFS!!!1
• Yes, he has previous for stupid goals. A million thanks to the NHL Fanhouse for the reminder. 
• Carrying on the work of locating bad sartorial choices, it's Puck Daddy and the Jersey Fouls - this time featuring a Bruins fan who was crying so hard, it's difficult to believe he made it to the game unaided.
• Behind the Net rounds things off today with a quick one-two combination. First, it's a look at the players who've put the numbers up these last ten years..
• ..and then, with a non-hockey classic - it's how to be good at darts with no talent. All thanks to rock solid Maths!

...although with seventeen points in his last sixteen games, he never went away. Perhaps I owe this man an apology for suggesting a kitten sniper was going to take him out a few weeks back.

I'll level with you good people - I was absolutely full of scotch last night and I want to get back to my bed, so let's down the coffee and head straight to the links.

• Leafs take the Caps 6 to 3 and hold hell, hot damn ain't it sweet? Game reviews come courtesy of Fallen Leafs, Space Weed, MLHS's gameday thread, the Hockey News and an opposing view from Japers' Rink.
• Lucky devil Bloge Salming scored a job making teasers for Leafs TV. Lucky us, he shares his work with us here.
• Dr Steve weighs in with a look at how it's gone down of late and also pinning down DC's definition of a top six forward.
• Taking the forward baton and running, AkiSchennberg has a look at the current Leafs forward roster.
• High time for some praise right now. No Stanley Cups Allowed proposes a new nickname for Matty S..
• ...and Hart Ross writes on the second coming of Jesus - this time out of Madison, WI.
• Always with the bigger picture in mind, Archimedies has OLAS in the press box.
• Puck Daddy sticks with the top 10 of the decade theme - this time with the bestest all-star happenings of the last 10 years.

As always please throw anything I've missed in the links and I'll attend to it once I've had a complete change of blood and spent a few hours in a dark room emitting low moans.

My dearest Jiří,

It's been a week now and I still can't believe we've parted. Those dreams we had, the plans we made...all so much dust on the breeze.

I saw you last night, in your fancy new clothes. A goal on your first shift too, nice. Will you be happy though? Leaping into the arms of Rod Brind'Amour night after night? Taking your orders from...Maurice again. Oh, I know you'll be smiling - but I also know it will be a mask. No more red hot action at the Ricoh Coliseum. No more rooming with Ben Ondrus on road trips. No more Prague Night of Glamour.

It's time to move on now, Jiří. You see...we've met someone else too. No....you don't know him. His name is Philippe. Sure, his neck is almost wider than his head and we can't really understand what he's saying, but he's ours now.

Let's not make this harder than it needs to be. Let's not spoil our good memories by you coming back here in January and scoring a hat-trick. When we see the last chicken in the shop, we'll always think of you. Always.

With all our love,

(Signed on behalf of) The Barilkosphere.

Excuse me - I was getting a little tearful for a second there. Must be a lot of dust in the room or something like that. Chopping onions too, I often have onions for breakfast. Let's get linking before the floodgates open for sure.

• First off - in a shootout that lasted longer than Chris Chelios's life, the Marlies downed the Chicago Wolves 5 - 4, with Juraj Mikus potting the winner.
• More thoughts on the Thursday third period matchup with the Bruins, provided by budblog, Toronto Mike and Under The Helmet of Slava Duris.
• Maple Leaf Hot Stove has their Friday night prospect report and also a look into the sudden rise in shootout occurances. 
• On the subject of which, Puck Daddy reels off the stats for defensive penalty shot takers - chock full of Marek Malik goodness.
• Far Away Leaf bemoans the pantomime that is our penalty kill.
• The Hockey Writers cover the ongoing saga of Vesa Toskala and his campaign to either rebuild his body/confidence or else bring us to our knees.
• ...and also bring us the top 10 items thrown onto the ice. (Conclusions to be drawn - hockey players tend to take a pro-bra stance and if only Tom Webster had access to an actual javelin). 
• What better way to spend a Saturday morning, than with a cup of coffee, the weekend papers and laughing heartily at the delicious salty tears of Habs fans. Barry Melrose Rocks is good enough to provide the ammunition for today.
• A ticket for tomorrow's Marlies game against Grand Rapids also gives you admission to the Leafs practice at the Ricoh at 13:30. Feel free to lavish praise/hurl rotten vegetables on the basis of the game tonight against the Caps - but please, no sharp objects at the Monster - now back on ice ice.
  
• It's sixteen years since a Canadian team last lifted the cup. Suite 101 looks at the reasons why. 
• The non-hockey link for today - it's the year 3126, but the music of John, Paul, Greg and Scottie lives on.
• UPDATE - The Zambonic Youth cabal whip out the conference call equipment and discuss renaming the NHL trophies.

So then! Only three weeks late and not in any way, shape or form being a copycat, here is the first weekly review of the Pension Plan Puppets Phantasy Puck, Division II.

Why now, you might ask? Well - I think I can answer that question best in the form of a screengrab. So without further ado, let's get pictorial!

Forget the shrimp baby, Daddy's coming home with the lobster! My very own band of skill, grit, pugnacity and Jason Spezza leads me to stand astride the standings like the Colossus of Rhodes. But that's enough tuba tooting for now - the images speak for themselves after all. Let's turn instead to last week's results.

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A classic anxiety dream. It's your first day in a new job, but your attempts to get to the office on time are thwarted at every turn. You're giving a huge presentation and suddenly you're in your birthday suit in front of all those people. You're eating an apple, but suddenly your teeth are falling out, one by one. It's an emergency, but your phone doesn't work. It's exam time, but your pencil keeps breaking! You're being chased! You're falling! There's something on the wing! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN, THERE'S SOMETHING ON THE WING!

Suddenly you wake and it's morning. Light streams in through the blinds - it's a glorious winter morn. Deep breaths now - it's over. Heart rate slows to normal - it was just a dream, just a dream. Rising, you head to the bathroom - splash a little water on your face to help bring you back to reality. Maybe an Advil would help too? Open up the bathroom cabinet and pop the capsule into your palm. Close the cabinet door...and he's there. Behind you in the mirror. Waiting. A face slightly too long, gaunt and unblinking.

Marc Savard is back in your life Phil, and that was no dream last night.

(Author's note - Obviously the assault on the TD Garden described yesterday is actually scheduled for Thursday. Last night was just to lull them into a false sense of security. Sigh)

• We're not exactly swimming in game reviews today chaps, but perhaps that's not a bad thing in the circumstances. Fallen Leafs blames Jesse Spano, Mr Pubina tries to summon up a little enthusiasm in picture form and The Hockey News reports also. Stanley Cup of Chowder manages not to gloat overtly.
• The Marlies brush off their recent scoring woes and take revenge against Hamilton, winning 6 - 5 in OT with sexy Viktor scoring twice. Also in the goals last night, the Nazdaq.
• Praise be for Maple Leaf Hot Stove, giving me a multitude of links to give to you. First, Friday was a big night for some of buds in the system, second questioning how much of a chance Jiri NSFW got under BB, thirdly detailing the ascent of Stajan and finally making with the contests and the prizes!
• Sean Leahy Puck Daddy has the new NHL advert for the Winter Classic.
• And that's about......it. Unless you're interested in a history of Hollywood hating New York, temporary ski-jumps in sports stadia or hamster jazz.
• UPDATE - A new raft of Vintage Leafs, featuring the ever dapper Conn Smythe.
  
• UPDATE, PART DEUX - All new sparkly Bloge Salming goodness! A look at the 2010 NHL Awards....

Late breakers in the comments as always, if you please.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I come to you with a heartfelt request - a plea, if you will. Being an Englishman who spends most of his idle time on North American websites, I tend to take a fair about of good-natured flak about certain events that took place a long time ago in Boston. Not the fact that we lost some of out very bestest Puritans to those parts - nor the years of pain I endured as a child as my parents watched St. Elsewhere on TV, oh no. I refer of course, to 1773 and the Tea Party.

What I ask is this - let us once again, we Canadian and British folk, be a single nation and just for one night cry havoc and set loose the dogs of counter-revolutionary war! Tonight, let us retake Boston. Give me twenty men, strong of heart and sure of hand and I know we can do it. For twenty-four hours, Suffolk County will ring out to the sounds of The Who and Rush. The site of the place where they filmed Cheers will be torched. The Red Sox will of course be disbanded and their players put on a chain gang, working on the QEW.

Our master of deep cover espionage Kessel, has returned triumphant with the battle plans of the enemy. Given the ammo, our crack shot Finn Hagman's aim will remain true. Plucky doughboy Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo has taken up the fallen Monster's reins. Sergeant-at-Arms Wilson has organised the troop for combat. And watching it all, high on the hill overlooking the battleground, the Napoleon of Rhode Island - Brian Burke himself. As the Duke of Wellington once said - I don't know about the enemy, but my men certainly scare the hell out of me!

At the very least, we can throw the dreaded traitor Rask into the harbour. To the ramparts!

• Today we start with the happiest man on Twitter, Down Goes Brown - and the telltale signs when your teammates are trying to kill you.
• Eyebleaf's thoughts on recent events are to be found here - look for about point 10 onwards, after the reams of NFL nonsense information.
• Somny returns again with more Vintage Leafs - featuring images just before and just after Leaf-related mishaps.
• Her joke repertoire now in ruins, Loser Domi bids a fond adieu to Jiří.
• Far Away Leaf looks into the why and wherefores of the Leafs being 5 - 1 - 2 in their last 8 games.
• Norman James Sports has been rappin' with Mike Van Ryn. 
• Leafs 2nds are struggling to score of late and lose to Habs 2nds, 3 - 0 in Hamilton. 
• Hadn't planned on throwing this in, but TSM has it right - the Leafs could learn a few things from the Habs about honouring the heroes of days gone by. Further footage - this time of the legends warmup - courtesy of Jeffler (WARNING - Does contain 'Ole' action). 
• The 2010 NHL draft is to be held in Los Angeles. My esteemed colleague Blurr has asked me to pass on the message that any and all are welcome at his place. (May not be strictly true, but if you turn up en masse he'll be hard pushed to turn you away).
• The Flyers have made a strange move in sacking their head coach NOT immediately after losing to us. Peter Laviolette replaces John Stevens at Broad Street.
• Puck Daddy affiliate Ryan Lambert takes a look at the NCAA players who may or may not be heading to the World Juniors.
• Finally, in the slightly ludicrous but very pretty section - Torontoist profiles a proposed plan for the Gardiner Expressway.

UPDATE

• Yours truly (blurr1974) sneaks across enemy lines and attempts some subterfuge.