SB Nation User Blog: Mayor of 311

GREAT Scully call of Giants vs. Dodgers fight 50 years ago

Mayor of 311 — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:23:59 -0000

GREAT Scully call of Giants vs. Dodgers fight 50 years ago

Scroll down to the June 30 entry and play the sound clip while reading the transcript. Just a great call by Scully of a great Giants/dodgers moment. I hope you all find this Fanshot; I wanted to do it as a post, but figured I would get yelled at.

Your predictions, please

Mayor of 311 — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 08:05:12 -0000

1. Will Matt Cain win 20 games this season?

2. Will Tim Lincecum win 20 games this season?

3. Will Barry Zito win 15 games this season?

4. Will Brian Wilson finish the season as the Giants' closer? (Clever readers will notice that that's actually two questions mashed together, to which I say to stop being so clever.)

5. What date will the Giants be eliminated from any and all post-season contention in 2009?

6. What will be the U.S. unemployment rate on the last day of the 2009 World Series?

Exhibit 8,645,841,273,110 that the Yankees & their brass are galactic jerks

Mayor of 311 — Thu, 14 May 2009 16:13:29 -0000

Exhibit 8,645,841,273,110 that the Yankees & their brass are galactic jerks

Yeah, the metaphor about "having them over to your house" really applies. Maybe with all that public tax money spent on your new stadium, you should have had the expensive seats made out of something that could withstand humans sitting in them for a few hours. Clods.

OT: I need about 30-40 sec of music composed for me

Mayor of 311 — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 08:00:49 -0000

We have a really talented and varied group here, and I hope one of you musical types or someone who knows a musical type can help me. I will soon be starting a podcast on legal/jury issues, and I need 30-40 seconds of intro/outro music that I can use. Something kind of upbeat.

I can pay nothing now, but will promise credit on the website and some money when I "monetize" the site (I hate that word in the 2000's about as much as I detested "synergy" in the 1990's). Thanks for any help!

"Gamer" Parody Contest... Results!

Mayor of 311 — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 08:06:45 -0000

Before I completely forget this (and run the risk of someone in December finding the contest in the archives, then accusing me of weaseling -- and yes, I'm pretty much looking at you, HowTheyScored), I should probably wrap up the contest and award the tix. Here's the link to the contest and, thus, the entries: http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2008/7/20/575612/2nd-half-gamer-parody-cont

Thanks to everyone who entered or commented. A specific opposite-of-thanks to Natto, whose famous "Jaunty Shelled Armando" is on the t-shirt I happen to be wearing at this moment. Anyway, you folks definitely added laughs and smiles in an otherwise dismal year. You're all winners (except, of course, for the Giants and Natto).

But in another, more accurate sense, there are only two winners. I have decided to award two prizes. In the category of Straightforward Parody of the Misbegotten, Misguided, Crappy 2008 Giants Ad Campaign, I am awarding a pair of tickets to SoFa King Mike for fixing the Zito poster. Also the Giants' legal team should thank him for saving them from a false advertising claim.

And speaking of that, the other big wiener is nvsfg for his fauxnnouncement from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. While not precisely a spoof-type parody of the ads, it cleverly nails them in their non-existent nuts in a different format.

Contact me to figure out a game that works for you, exchange address, etc.

Barry in the detested Pinstripes?

Mayor of 311 — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 07:26:36 -0000

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/24/yankees-eye-barry-bonds-a_n_114867.html

So Hank Steinbrenner, one of five people currently alive who has a chance of being more repugnant than George Steinbrenner, apparently is going to "bring up" the idea of getting Barry Lamar Bonds to play for the Yankees for the stretch drive.

I assume we all pretty much hate the Yankees, but would you rather see BLB get a chance to do something this year in Pinstripes rather than do nothing? Is Hanky illiterate and thus didn't get the Collusion Memo? Has Cashman really not being considering this and needed his owner to "bring up" Barry?

Your thoughts.

2nd Half "Gamer" Parody Contest

Mayor of 311 — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:36:22 -0000

Now that a bit more than half the season is gone, I thought it would be fun to reprise -- and re-prize -- the great Parody Contest of the Giants 2008 "Gamer" ads. Here is the link to the pre-season contest, in case you're nostalgic:

http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2008/3/14/269631/parody-contest-all-out-all

As always, the standards are pretty amorphous. Clever, witty, funny is WAAAAAY more important than technically excellent Photoshopping/what have you.

Winner gets a pair of my tix for some mutually agreeable game. IN 2008, not when the team's good again. Have fun, and thank you talented people for creating some fun for the rest of us.

Axe Lansford Now. Your thoughts.

Mayor of 311 — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:39:18 -0000

Brian Horwitz came up to bat last night, (1) making his ML debut, and (2) thus facing a pitcher he had never seen before, (3) probably even on video, (4) in a tie game, (5) when the Giants had been punchless for a few innings, (6) in a situation in which if the Giants score, game over and we win. So he swings at the first goddamn pitch. AAAGGGHHHHH. It takes minimal brain capacity NOT to swing. So he (I think) takes the next pitch, right down the middle. He then, naturally, swings BADLY at the 3rd pitch for a 3-pitch K.

And his was not the first 3-pitch K of the evening for the Giants.

So am I being either rash or harsh for thinking that Carney Lansford should be canned as our hitting coach? Mind you, I'm not saying he should be axed because Horwitz didn't get a hit, but just because Horwitz went up there with NO plan at all, even something as simple as the advice I would have given him: "Son, I don't care what the pitches are, do not swing at the first two pitches. Get a look at the pitches and the man throwing them, remember to breathe, and start having fun at the 3rd pitch."

Horwitz isn't the only of our young guys who seem to go up with no plan and hack at first-pitch slop in tough situations. It never works. I am not in love with Bowker, but I give him credit that he SEEMS to go up with a plan in mind. But the other young guys, not so much. And I'm not holding Lansford at all responsible for Aurilia, Vizquel, Molina, or any of the other vets who aren't hitting well, as I think those guys are well beyond coachability.

Your thoughts.

MLB, marketing geniuses

Mayor of 311 — Tue, 27 May 2008 05:36:45 -0000

From the people who brought you World Series with only night games and a structure that now permits teams to have evening starts for Saturday games throughout the summer -- both moves guaranteeing that young fans don't develop into lifelong baseball fans -- we now have a Memorial Day with... nothing. I think I remember that Memorial Day has always had a triple-header on ESPN or a national game carried by MLB's broadcast partner. Am I mistaken? Why would MLB schedule so few games on Memorial Day?

Question: What is your least favorite thing about how MLB or even individual teams relate to their customers?

I personally find it unforgiveable to schedule evening games on Saturdays all through the summer (I have a 2 1/2 year old son who I take to weekend games, but cannot if they start at 6)... and this wasn't made totally clear before I bought my season tix. I also find it unpleasant that there was no baseball today (other than a Cubs game on WGN, which I don't care about).

Goofus & Mrs. Goofus on Jumbotron tonight

Mayor of 311 — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:54:48 -0000

There I was at tonight's game, fuming at the baserunning idiocy that cost us a minimum of two (and quite possibly three or four) runs on our side, and the perfection that is ray goddamn durham, who cost us a few runs on the other side, getting good and angry... and OutKast's "Hey Ya" starts playing, and the camera is panning around, and catches Goofus dancing goofily, and then he put his arms around the lovely Mrs. Goofus, who smiled.

It ruined a perfectly good pissed-off mood.