Hey Party People!

Long time, no post for me. In case you haven't seen any of my Trading Posts before, it's an opportunity for people to post what A's stuff they want to trade for, and what they have to trade.

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Hey Party People,

We're nearing the end of a fruitless season, as far as Division or Wild Card crowns are concerned, but I'm sure many of you found it fruitful in terms of collecting A's merchandise. Well, as usual, some of us have an over-abundance of one thing or another and are in search of a trading partner (or partners) to make the ideal for the one (or six) items we just can't feel complete without. The same guidlines as previously apply: Post what you want and what you have for trade. I'll got first:

Wanted: A Dick Williams bobbblehead

               A Vida Blue jersey(XL)

               A Dave Stewart jersey(XL)

               An A's backpack(any)

               An A's blanket

                A Barry Zito Bobblehead

                If anyone has a 4th of July Red, White and Blue Athletics jersey I will trade everything I have listed plus cash for it!

                A Nick Swisher RH Bobblehead.

To Trade: A Huston Street Jersey(XL)

                  A Frank Thomas jersey(L)

                  I have these bobbleheads to trade: Dan Haren, Milton Bradley, Frank Thomas, Reggie Jackson, Dennis Eckersley, Jason Kendall(no mask), Tim Hudson, Mike Piazza, Jermaine Dye and the first gold glove Chavy.

Let's make a deal!                  

Following the grand tradition of McFood authored DLD's, no baseball related links will be provided.

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He's an ex-parrot. A bird that was smarter than you died.

A Whale of a Mistake Some think that estimates of the Grey Whale population contain huge errors.

French explorer Jean-Francois La Perouse sailed into Monterey Bay in the 1700s and complained "there were so many whales, that they stunk up the air with their breath," Palumbi said.

It's Britney, Bitch. Britney gets called a "pop tard" after a lackluster performance at the VMA's. Not enough sizzle, too much steak. Whatev, I'm not losing any sleep over poor Britney.

Womens World Cup The U.S. came from behind to get a draw with N. Korea in their opener.

That is all.

Ok, there's been several desirable SGA(stadium give-aways) recently and a few posts by people requesting something or other. Let's bring it all together here in one diary.
Giveaways since July:
Red, white & blue visor
Build-A-Bear(Stomper)
A's player Jersey(Dan Haren)
Mike Piazza Bobblehead
A's Cap(Wells Fargo)
A's Poker Set
Nick Swisher Belt Buckle
Victor E. Van
A's Welcome Mat
A's Backpack(Huston Street)
Mark Ellis Bobblehead
A's Retro alarm Clock
Travis Buck T-shirt

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I have nothing of substance to say(what's new?), but we need a DLD to dump our links in, and as a repository for non-linear non-sequiturs, so here goes:

http://shirt.woot.com/Friends.aspx?k...

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A very large "Thank you!" to Blez, BBG and the entire AN community for showing up and making AN Day 4 another fantastic experience. Once again, the best part of the whole thing, for me, is just getting to hang with familiar AN'ers and meeting LOTS of new ones. Clan McFood had a grand old time, and we got to watch a win too! The A's are now 3 for 4 on AN Days. An extra thanks goes to xbox for giving his BBQ voucher to one of my daughters, as we were unable to purchase extra ones on short notice. I never did get to buy you a beer, but I owe you one! The pics will tell a better story than I could, so peruse with your peepers, people:

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With AN day coming up, this is the perfect opportunity to start another session of AN Trading Post. People can arrange their deals here and finish them at AN Day. And with 3 of the 4 bobbleheads of the season distributed, just a comment on the Mike Piazza bobblehead: As an attempt to alleviate the problem of the all-too-common Broken Bat Syndrome, the Piazza BH was designed with a detachable bat that is packaged along side the BH, the first time I've ever seen this done with a bobblehead. The bat has a tiny screw emebedded in the bottom with a matching nut glued into Piazza's top hand. Good idea, but precision is not a word I'd use to describe the workmanship of a bobblehead.  

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Disgusting.

Screw you Joe Kennedy and Bobby Crosby, I hope you're both DFA'd today.

Kennedy is consistent in that when he enters the game, you KNOW the other team will keep scoring until he's taken out. I will turn off the game whenever he's used from now on.

Enough has been barfed about Crosby already, there are no new words.

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Here's a funny video about super man-whore bitch future no doubt first ballot hall of famer Roger Clemens and his adventures in the future with the head bastardo of the evil empire of the east:

http://funnyordie.com/videos/6562

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As mentioned in a recent DLD, the family and I drove to Jack London Square on Sunday to take the ferry to Telecomglomerate Park on Sunday to root on the East Bay Nine.

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If you don't read this dump, you might as well burn it!

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Since no one else will do it...

Hey, want to talk about the A's bullpen!?!?

Me neither.

Did you hear we signed Jack Cust?

Too obvious.

Off we go, then, on non-baseball related activity...

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A Miracle at the Oracle

Some team from a place called Golden State won a game last night. Now THAT'S hugging it out! Be careful, it's getting VERY crowded on the Warrior's bandwagon. America really does love an underdog.

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The bad news is the A's lost yesterday.

The mixed news is that there is no game today.

The good news is the Warriors won yesterday, in an incredible performance, to go up 3-1 on The Dallas Mavericks. I got a couple of double takes at yesterdays A's game when I was cheering on our pitcher, Mr. Braden, by yelling "Go Dallas!".

Also, the Sharks play tonight try and take a lead in their playoff series with the Detroit Red Wings, which is currently tied 1-1. The ESPN guys doing the wrap-up of that last game, won by Detroit, 3-2 on a last minute goal, said that after Detroit tied the game, it was all Detroit from then on. My observation was different. It looked like the Shaerks were dominating the 3rd period until that last minute goal. They were peppering the goal with shots until then. I guess tonight will be a telling event.

GO SHARKS!

Wake and bake, folks, it's 4/20!~~~~~~

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Coach Owen, the ultra-annoying straightedge 15 yr. old Mariner's fan from Lookout Landing has made only one post on Halo Heaven, and he used it to taunt The Rev on the "I Hate The Effing A's" diary:

boring boring arsenal...
Mariners.
by Rev Halofan on Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 01:41:01 PM EDT

You're just jealous
because we're in first.
by Coach Owens on Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 05:31:20 PM EDT

Attaboy, CoachOwen! Give 'em Heck!

Tomorrow, in additon to being Smoke 'em If You've Got 'em Day, is the birthday of one of the most infamous people in history. Oh, and it's Hitler's b-day too. What a strange juxtaposition.

Link 'em if you've got 'em...

In an effort to make up for yesterdays dump fiasco...

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In typical McFoodian style, today's links will be served up hot and with very little baseball content:

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This link dump is coming to you from 15 years in the future. Because of the risk of disrupting or destroying the space/time continuum, I can't actually post any news from the future. World President Erubiel Durazo actually passed a law against last year. He became so popular after leading the Barstow Bay A's (after The Big Quake of '09, the A's moved from Fremont, which is now underwater, to Pacific Shoreline Stadium on the edge of Barstow Bay, the biggest natural port on the new west coast) to a World Series Championship, winning MVP honors along the way. Oops! Forget I said anything.

Please, dump away.

Today's DLD will be presented in Pop Quiz form:

Which former Heisman Trophy Winner led the NFL in Double Murders?

Crazy like a fox, or just plain crazy? Anna Nicole's baby-daddy remains a mystery.

What's the answer to violent soccer fans? Italian games will be played in empty stadiums.

Who's the latest Reds pitcher to cash in? Bronson Cornroyo gets 25 mil for 2 more years.

What's the best way to finish off a meal of Wendy's chili? A bar of Italian chocolate would hit the nail on the head.

Want to earn $1,500 the hard way? Well, it's the hard way, unless you're monkeyball. A zoo in China is having a contest to see who can live with the monkeys in the zoo the longest. It can't be that much different than dorm life, can it?

Ok, time to start dumping, but when I say pencils down, I mean it! Please turn off the lights and lock the Link Dump door if you're the last one out.

Begin!

You've got to REALLY believe in Karma if you're a cab driver and you return a bag of diamond rings to someone who tipped you 30 cents on an $11 fare. So what did the lucky jeweler do to reward the driver? Tipped him $100. For a bag of diamond rings. I bet she wrote him a check and then cancelled it. Christ, what an a$$hole.

A Japanese man claiming he was too tired to walk stole a police car and drove himself home.

Chewbacca head-butts tour guide. Only in Hollywood. Or Endoor. Which does not make sense, so you must acquit!

Germans do what they're told, no matter how re-goddamn-diculous it is. That's good to know.

Rare vultures found on Cambodian mountain top. Developers plan to build a mega-mall and condo complex on nesting site, just to spite the birds, according to a fictional source.

Hyper-sensitive people took any opportunity to get their panties in a bunch over anything from Super Bowl ads to Prince's attempt to get people talking about him for any reason. Rumor has it next years half time show will be people covered in gray sheets singing Gregorian chants, unless those damn Gregorians get all up in arms about it.

Parlez vous a dump or two?

Studies done to confirm what we already know seem to be going on all the time.

Al Davis hires the youngest head coach ever to take over for retread Art Shell. Anythings better than another recycled coach. John Gruden V2.0, anyone?

China to put the kaibosh on hawking loogies. No, not lefty specialists.

Snake charmers are becoming an endangered species, according to snake charmers, and want government help.

How do you fit 5 elephants into a Volkswagen? Two in the front, three in the back.

Man swallowed head first by a shark and survives! An Australian abalone diver tells his story. My reaction? Abalone!

Girls Gone Wild founder tamed. That poor, poor man. Right.

Let's keep it light today, whaddya say?

Four families are suing myspace because their teenage daughters were lured into meetings with an adults who sexually assaulted them. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think bad parenting may have wee bit to do with this, but you just can't outlaw stupidity, now can you?

A self-banned gambler who changed his mind can't get himself off the banned list. No word as to whether his online user name begins with an "o" and ends with "aktoon".

Ravenous shrimp found in Lake Ontario. Scientists plan to combat their spread by dumping large vats of cocktail sauce into the lake and selling it for 99 cents a glass at local casinos.

How do you turn a monkey into a guinea pig? Inject it with 1918 flu virus. Wheeee! Isn't this fun, kids?

The Evil Empire of $4 coffee will stop putting one kind of poison in their swill and undoubtedly replace it with another. It's a good thing their coffee isn't as bitter as I am. At least I'm not the only one who feels that way.

Now commence your vente mocha half-caff steamed dumping:

Short and sweet today as I have lots of paying work to do!

The Pillow Fight League is looking for more, erm, "exposure" and seeks to go international after being founded in, where else, Canada!

On a more serious note, 3 teen age girls were arrested after beating another girl, taping it, and putting it on youtube. Somebody give those girls some pillows.

The Dept. of Duh reports that teenagers suck. Please refer to example #2 above.

A clue to where monkeyball has been has surfaced. I urge you to give this one a read.

On your mark, get set, DUMP!

Back by unpopular demand!

Dontrelle Willis reaches a 1 year deal 6.45 million dollar contract from the Marlins. Sorry Saint!

Speaking of Saints, the NFL playoffs this Sunday will determine who goes to the Super Bowl. How can you not be pulling for the Saints? But what about the NFL's version of Ali-Frazier, Brady-Manning? Who are you pulling for in that epic battle?

Netflix will begin to allow you to download movies on your PC. Apple owners need not apply. I loved Netflix when it started because I think Blockbuster is Evil incarnate(Starbucks too). But now Blockbuster has matched Netflix's price and topped their service by allowing you to drop movies at their stores and instantly pick up a new one while you wait for your next queued movie to be delivered, so I bit the bullet and signed up with them. I feel so...unclean. It's personal issue, I know.

A Lottery winner seems to have lost the genetic lottery after white trashing his way through the $113 million he won in 2002. Some folks have all the luck, good and bad.

The missing link between modern humans and Neanderthals may have been found in a cave in Romania. I can just see how it happened. One caveman says to another "Dude, I dare you to shag that Neanderthal!"  

A faulty Navigation system caused a driver to crash when it told him to turn left where there was no road, and he did. Those wacky Germans and their autos!

More German auto fun! A jeweler and his guard stopped to relieve themselves at a rest stop and two thieves did a smash and grab to their car netting $1.3 million in jewelry. You might want to start checking eBay for jewelry bargains.

A retired Chinese couple advertised for a "daughter" to look after them after their son emigrated to Canada and got over 100 responses. I blame Canada.

36! 24! 19! HUT, HUT! DUMP!

Larry Bonds hits a touchdown using illegal make up. Amphetamine is a kind of eye shadow, right? He said he giot it from his neighbors locker.

Bend it like Posh Spice David Beckham signs a 5 year contract with the L.A. Galaxy. I get the feeling he's not going to try that hard, and that the Los Angeles lifestyle is going to take it's toll on their marriage. L.A. is just not a very neighborly town. Maybe I'm just a cynic.

Toilet/Aquarium set to flop on the open market. There I go being a cynic again. It would look good in my neighbor's house, though.

Middle-aged Couple Kills Family of Noisy Neighbors This story is freakin' unbelievable! They originally blamed the murder on a recently pardoned gang member-grug dealer neighbor, but it turned out to be the nice old folks instead! Hey, when in Italy...

You're being watched And it turns out to be the neighbors everyone thought were so nice, the Canadians! They're putting radio transmitters in the coins!

The American Automobile Association is providing an online fuel price finder to help you find the cheapest gas. Now THAT's being a helpful neighbor.

Lily Munster dies at age 84. One of the original Babes of Goth along with Morticia Adams. And wouldn't you know it, she was Canadian! Goodbye Yvonne De Carlo, from a young man in the 22nd row...

Lady Madonna sticks her nose where it doesn't belong by involving herself in the Rosie O'Donnel-Donald Trump feud. People, people, nobody wins in these types of situations! Except us, the public. Who would you rathe have for a neighbor, The donald, or the Rosie?

Former Warrior Chris Webber is about to become a free agent after the 76ers buy out his contract. Gee, maybe old new Warriors coach don Nelson should sign him. It worked out so well the first time around. If we can get get Latrell Sprewell and Tim Hardaway back in Warriors unis too, every day will be Turn Back The Clock Day! I love the Warriors old philosophy of "Hire new coach. Coach and best player don't get along, so trade best player. Coach leaves shortly after. Hire new coach. Coach and best player don't get along, so trade best player. Coach leaves shortly after. Wash, rinse, repeat...

Fashion maven Mr. Blackwell shoots fish in a barrel by announcing his 48th consecutive annual "Worst Dressed Awards". Of course, the man is a failed actor and his real name is Richard Seltzer, but you have to give him credit for making a name for himself by doing the easiest thing possible, critizing public figures.

The British National Archives have released online passenger manifests from 1890 to 1960, so you can see if you have a common ancestor with Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, which would explain your horrible fashion sense.

The Pillars of Creation, giant clouds of gas and dust where stars are born, in the Eagle Nebula, may have already been toppled and destroyed by a nearby supernova. Some scientists think it may have been Mr. Blackwell's scathing ascerbic wit which brought them down.

Man's Wallet returned After 62 Years. Mr. Blackwell says, ironically, that the wallet is still in style.

Plastic electronics will be produced at a new factory in Germany. Made on plastic instead of silicon, the technology promises to make the new iPhone obselete by tomorrow afternoon at 3:37 pm. Mr. Blackwell observed that plastic is much more fashionable than silicon.

Fake Priest Arrested for Selling Phony Pope Tickets A man assured himself a ticket to Hell when he posed as a priest and sold phony tickets to see the Pope in Brazil. Mr. Blackwell commented that the man did look fabulous in his opulent flowing robes and bitch-magnet headdress.

Cocaine Found in Banana Boxes in an Amsterdam supermarket. Meanwhile, in another part of the city, someone opening a box of bananas in a crackhouse was heard to scream "Uh oh. OH F@#%!!!"

Mr. Blackwell commented that the bananas had that slim, heroin-sheik look to them, and that he loved bananas.

Dump, dump, dump
Dump of Earl
Dump dump
Dump of Earl
Dump dump
Dump of Earl
Dump dump...

In the World of Pro Sports:
T.O. Fires Publicist, former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Kim Etheridge, who dropped this little bon mot after T.O. was hospitilized for a rumored suicide attempt: "Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive.", refering to his 25 million dollar contract. Ah, pearls from the mouths of swine.

In the World of Not-Pro Sports:
Florida whupped Ohio states ass in the NCAA Championship Football Game for the championship of NCAA football.

In the Real World:
An Ivy League Economics professor becomes a bush league confessor after murdering his wife and staging it to look like a burglary. She had told friends she was going to divorce him. Which reminds me of a raunchy joke. WARNING! CRUDE HUMOR CONTENT! Please skip this next part if you've ever been offended in your entire life! A guy is sent to prison and ends up with a huge, musclebound cellmate. His cellmate asks menacingly "Do you want to be the husband or the wife?" He says "The Husband!" so the cellmate says "Ok. Get over here and suck your wife's dick!"

In the Auto World:
The Detroit Auto Show showcases a new GM Hybrid that has a range of 40 miles on a battery charge alone. The gas engine is used only to charge the batteries and never directly drives the wheels, so if you make trips of less than 40 miles you never start the engine. Toyota shows a hybrid sports car that goes 0-60 in less than 5 seconds.

Out of This World World:
Stephen Hawking wants to take a space flight on Thousandaire Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic service, which is scheduled to launch in 2009. Inside sources say The Hawkman really just wants to be the first member of the 200 Mile High Club. Virgin Galactic indeed!

In the Cartoon World:
RUH ROH! Scooby Doo creator Iwao Takamoto dies at age 81. My younger daughter loves Scooby Doo, as we all once did. RIP, and may you find a heaven with a bottomless box of Scooby snacks.

In the World of Real Estate:
The world's smallest nation is for sale. "Apply to Prince Michael of Sealand if you want to run your own storm-tossed nation -- even if it is just a wartime fort perched on two concrete towers in the North Sea.
Built in World War Two as an anti-aircraft base against German bombers, the derelict platform was taken over 40 years ago by retired army major Paddy Roy Bates who went to live there with his family."

I'd buy THAT for a dollar!

In the World of Planes:
There's MF'ing scorpions on the MF'in plane!

Audrey Huff signs with Baltimore.

The Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Sarasota, Fla offers massages for dogs. "Why yes, I would like the meat in my puppy casserole tenderized! Thanks!"

In the "NO Duh!" Dept, a stud finds teems tend to binge drink. I could have told them that for half the money they spent on that study. But it does go a long way in explaining the behavior of Melody, GNGGirl, JLaff, and Ohad at AN Day 3.

A UFO spotted at O'Hare Intl. Airport i Chicago. And nobody could get a shot of it with their cell phone cameras? Sounds reasonable to me...

Ford reveals a 4 dr Mustang concept called The Interceptor.
It will be manufactured in Bali and made out of paper mache'.

Dump, dump, dump your links,
gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream.