SB Nation User Blog: MeytonPanning

Random Thought of the Day: Coach Fulmer and...

MeytonPanning — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:00:37 -0000

I was looking at the Sentinel where Coach (Fulmer) had declined the administrative position with the President's office because of all the backlash regarding university wide financial cutbacks. It got me thinking about the next step for Coach. I kept thinking about what Coach said about maybe wanting to give it a go at a school (like Clemson) where everyone is passionate about football. Well, that got me to thinking about some of the vacancies floating around. Where on earth could Coach go?

And that thought brought me back to the banks of the Hudson to where I first tried to get my parchment....

Army.

I know, I know it would never, ever happen (right?)... But I can tell you this. The Service Academies may lack eye popping athletes, stadium seating numbers, facilities, a traditional campus life, and high end recruit draw. But if you want real, raw passion and an honest to God yearning for some moderately successful football, Army may not be a completely insane idea.

Moderately insane, well, yes.

Completely insane....no. If you watched the Phillip Fulmer Show for the last time, it was obvious how much Coach loved working with young people. The Show highlighted some of the great stories of both players and non-players whose lives he had a positive influence on. My point is this: if Coach wanted to get back to working with young people and wanted to worry less about the economics of wins and losses in big time college football, then Army may be the swansong the doctor ordered. Trust me: Army fans would ~~kill~~ (bad choice of word) love a 7 or 8 win season, a win against Navy or Air Force, and a bowl game. Check that: they would arrange for free Blackhawk rides for life! And if he wanted to work with good people....well....let's just say that maybe he would have to worry less about how many of his players ended up in jail last night....

Army was once a proud power in Football. National Championships in 1914, 1944, and 1945. Heisman Trophy Winners like Doc Blanchard, Glenn Davis, and Pete Dawkins. Players with names like Dwight Eisenhower, Norman Schwarzkopf, Robert Neyland....

Army will most likely never be as competitive and influential as it once was. That's pretty much certain. If Coach Fulmer wants to compete for national and conference championships and nothing less, then obviously this little random thought is pointless. But if he wants to work with good young people....If he wants to work with an organization that will simply appreciate more wins than losses....If he wants to work with a fanbase that has no other solid expectations aside from good football and a shellacking of Navy.... Wow, that would be something. Just sitting here, daydreaming about it is making me smile. It's making me think about renewed excitement at Michie Stadium. It's making me think about the things like the Rocket, On Brave Old Army Team, Rock the Black-Gold, and Plebes pushing turf after touchdowns. I realize it will never happen but MAN wouldn't that be something! If you want to feel love, Coach Fulmer, see what would happen if you got Army back on track!

One of the things I remember Coach talking about leading up to his departure was about the things he would miss. He said he would miss the trenches and fighting like hell for the win. Well, if by some small miracle, Army and Coach Fulmer connected, he would find some damn fine young men to lead in those green, yard-lined trenches. That would be something....

And it would be fitting too. Tennessee, after all, got one of its great heroes from West Point in General Robert Neyland. Maybe it's time to return the favor.

Friday Curveball

MeytonPanning — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:14:18 -0000

The Athletic Department has been absolutely silent about this process thus far hiding behind the shroud of "Let's just take this time to honor Phillip Fulmer."

Give. Me. A. Flipping. Break.

I'm sure Mike Hamilton is closely monitoring and working diligently with the staff in making the preparations to send off Coach in style. And if you believe that, I've got a great investment opportunity I need to talk with you about.

I'm sure Mike and Co. are going crazy right now trying to clandestinely contact respective candidates, who by the way are in the middle of a season, trying to gauge interest for this job. And if they can't, because of it being inappropriate, get a hold of the coach, I'm sure they are having interesting talks with certain agents who may or may not represent said coaches.

Having said all that, I've casually watched the RTT Coaching Survey and I've got to say it. I'm not that thrilled about a lot of the prospects we have looked. I like some but not most, and with all the others it's just too much of a long shot. So here's my long winded spiel. And if you stay untill the end I'll throw a curveball that I haven't heard anyone talk about yet.

I'll start with the RTT coaching search.

1. Bill Cowher: You got to want to coach these days. And I'm not sure that someone who leaves the Steelers like he did really wants to coach any more.

2. Butch Davis: Davis voiced his committment to UNC earlier this week. Don't see it happening. Understanding that Sabanesque statements cleary stating that you will never be the coach of so and so mean next to nothing these days, I have no reason, as of yet, to doubt Davis.

3. Jim Grobe: Absolutley not. No WAY. No HOW. Since he came to Wake Forest in 2001, he is 51-42. What in TARNATION leads anyone to believe that this body of work, preceded by a lukewarm 33-33-1 mark at Ohio State University, is worthy of being the change that Big Orange fans have been raving on about. Listen, a certain Coach that went 66-33 since 2001 is getting pushed out of his job because the production was not there. Why would we replace that man with someone who is still south of that type of unacceptable production? We make changes to improve things. I don't see this choice as an improvement.

4. Jon Gruden: I love funny faces. Really I do. And maybe he would be a great choice to coach Tennessee. Woody Paige said so on Around the Horn. But consider that he is coaching a team one game back from the division leader. One game. Consider that until his season ends, barring some crazy Petrino-like meltdown, Gruden is out of play. And at the very latest that season could end on February 1st, 2009, which, if memory serves me correctly, is quite close to National Signing Day. So at best (if you are a fan of Gruden in orange), Tampa's season ends on December 28th without a playoff appearance (ironically would that help or hurt his candidancy with the Vols?). Plenty of time to steal some last minute recruits, right? Actually, this team could go deep into the playoffs and I just don't think Tennessee is willing to write off a recruiting season just to get Gruden. The logistics, in my mind, don't lend themselves to this hire. Oh yeah, the Super Bowl is in Tampa this year. It's not like the Bucs are going to want to play for the title in their own stadium or anything.

5. Todd Graham: I don't know anything about this guy other than he has done some nice things with Tulsa. It just bothers me that we mention one of his own coordinators in this search. So with that I seriously wonder how much of a prospect he really is.

6. Gus Malzahn: Heard he was a fabulous recruiter of Arkansas players....that played for him the previous year at his old high school coacing gig.... This story between him, Mustain, Mustain's Mom and Houston Nutt is the state capital of North Bizzarro. Do the Vols really want any part of that hoopla?

7. Gary Pinkel: Has connections to Washington, who is also looking, and frankly has a good thing going at Mizzou thank you very much.

8. Kyle Whittingham: Heck why not. Florida did it to Utah. Let's do it! Let's hire Urban Meyer v1.2.1 Beta!!

9. Skip Holtz: Had some big wins early. I just don't get warm and fuzzy with this guy. Maybe its because his Dad really, really, really hates Tennessee.

10. Brian Kelly: After stints at Grand Valley State, Central Michigan, and Cincinatti, Kelly has a 147-54-2 record as Head Coach. Does that record look familiar to anyone? Again, we need change but we need change that improves us. Is one 10-3 season at Cincinatti and a current 2 loss record for this season really enough to blow our collective orange socks off??

11. Gary Patterson: I heard there was a opening at Kansas State where Patterson played his college ball. Oh Crap.

12. Chris Peterson: Actually I love this guy. But not because I follow Boise State. But because he had the testicular fortitude to run a Hook and Ladder and a Statue of Liberty play in ONE GAME! Against Bob Stoops! Either he has great gigantic big ones or he is insane. Either way it would be fun to see him in Knoxville. On the other hand, Boise State's formerly highly regarded coach is not doing spectacular things at Colorado. So I'm not sure where this leaves us.

13. Lane Kiffin: Touched by Al Davis. Dustin Hoffman and a boatload of rhesus monkeys are working to see whether Kiffin has been infected by Davis' bat crap crazy virus.

14. Mike Leach: I love that he is a Pirate. I love that he has run Texas Tech into a #2 ranking. I love that probably has some strong recruiting ties to Texas. But, in your heart of hearts, do you see this guy coming to Knoxville? I'd love to see it. It would be a huge steal. But, it just might be the orange version of Operation Market Garden.

15. Will Muschamp: Another guy I would love to see in Knoxpatch. But I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a Texas fan out of our own RTT mold. And he said something pretty interesting me. Basically he said that Muschamp is a great defensive coach with a lot of intensity. However, he said that Texas has seen a lot of great defensive coordinators a la Gene Chizik. And then he said something that shamed me because it was 100% true. He said, "Would Paris Hilton be anything without her night visioned escapades? If Muschamp hadn't been caught on youtube saying BOOM MATHA EFFER to Arkansas and hadn't been photographed bleeding out of his ear earlier this year, would he really be that big of a coaching prospect?" Tough to say, but I had to admit that he made a good point.

16. Steve Sarkisian: Maybe. Hard to say. Can't go wrong with his coaching upbringing with BYU and USC. Recruiting ties to California interest me as long as it doesn't result in any more seniors who like to speak Pterodactyl in their free moments.

________________________________________

Which brings me to another prospect who I am warming up to. I think there is one candidate a lot closer to home that may deserve a chance at a head coaching job. Maybe he's not the right guy for Tennessee but he definitely deserves a shot somewhere. Regardless I hope UT at least talks to him. And that man is....

Charlie Strong.

Fantastic Defensive Coach. Fantastic recruiter that can pipeline recruits from Florida/Georgia and other SEC talent hotbeds. Led the 2006 defense that absolutely crushed Ohio State and actually made me feel kind of sorry for Troy Smith and the Buckeyes.

I don't know if he would ever actually consider coming to Tennessee given his history with South Carolina and Florida. Regardless, if it's new blood we are looking for, I think stealing a top assistant from a bitter enemy would definitely be an interesting selection.

Do I really think he has a shot to be at Tennessee? I don't know. Probably not. But I'd rather go with Charlie Strong over more than half the names we have looked at so far.

In a word.....distraught.

MeytonPanning — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:13:53 -0000

Yesterday and today have been pretty tough. Yesterday's press conference was a huge punch in the gut--not because I didn't think "change" was going to happen this season or soon after--but because we saw a man who was facing the reality that the Institution that he loved and served nearly his entire professional life didn't love him quite as much. Judging from yesterday, the day each of us have to face that type of reality is a sad, sad day.

I'm not going to argue against the decision. People who are paid to make the objective, tough choices made this decision and I'm sure there was a thorough "process" that fully examined whether this needed to be done. Fine. I can will have to live with that.

Here is what bothers me. What now? For my entire life, Tennessee has been run by a Tennessee man. Say what you will about the two, but Phillip Fulmer and Johnny Majors were absolutely all about and all for Tennessee. My worry is that the era of the coach that lives to serve has been replaced by the era of the coach that is going to get paid. Are we going to find the captain that leads this team for the next decade plus? Or are we going to find the stop gap that leads this football team with an eye constantly out for his future. Is there a candidate out there that can embrace Tennessee or is it full of candidates that are chomping at the bit to have "Head Football Coach, Tennessee" as a sexy, yet temporary bullet point on their resume?

I'm worried. Very worried. We saw what Florida, Alabama, Nebraska, and Notre Dame went through during their extended search for a coach. I'm worried that the Volunteer State is about to experience the same thing.

Tony Franklin Era at Auburn done??? That was fast.

MeytonPanning — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:56:41 -0000

Tony Franklin Era at Auburn done??? That was fast.

www.edsbs.com

Working with the Enemy(ies): Georgia Week

MeytonPanning — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:33:11 -0000

Things I hear at work, and the things I want to say but can't because the economy stinks and the only things I hate more than crimson elephants are job searching and moving.

1. The "Bama Band Jerkface" guy said, "Want to go to Smoothie King for lunch?"

Hello, That guy. You would want to go to smoothie king, princess. I know you are not aware of this, but I wear size 38x34 pants. It says so on my jeans. In other words, I don't go to Smoothie King unless there is a new Meat-tastic Smoothie I haven't heard about. I know as much about smoothies as I do about Indian curry cuisine: which is to say nothing and it would probably Muschamp my stomach. Yes that is a new verb. Get used to it. Disclaimer: I don't have anything against Smoothie King or anyone who goes there. I just needed the mechanism to make fun of Jerkface...... I'm sure Smoothie King is quite wonderful...(that last line was a bald faced lie)

2. The "lone Georgia fan in the office" said, "I'd hate to be in Auburn or Knoxville right now! IT'S GREAT TO BE A GEORIGA BULLDOG!"

Thank you, Sir. Oddly enough, I was not aware of the problems in Knoxville. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Your concern is duly noted and will be addressed with urgency and in the order it was given. And yes, I imagine things are down in Auburn as well. Tony Franklin probably has bodyguards in his residence these days. And yes, I realize that things are not looking good for the Vols in Athens. So I realize that anything I say to you will only make you smile inside because you will know that you elicited a rise out of me. So I choose not to play your game, Sir. Instead I shall choose the passive aggressive route and write something nasty and condescending on the internet about you. I will probably say something like, "Nice meltdown two weeks ago. Thanks for resurrecting all those Tide fans." And I'll add something like, "So much for preseason number 1's." And I'll finish with, "God I hope we pull something out of our be-hinds like we did........THE LAST TWO YEARS!!"

3. The "Kansas Grad Who Just Discovered Football Exists in Lawrence" lady said, "I'm sorry but the Big 12 is head and shoulders above the SEC."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not the best conference debate. NOOOOOO!!!!! Why must we have this argument? I know SEC fans love to use conference strength of schedule as a talking point---but in all honesty it means little. So Mr. KU grad, what does the strength of the Big 12 actually do for you this year? Because you already lost a game with a team from the Big East. Does that mean the Big East is better than the Big 12? NO! It means that South Florida was better that night against Kansas. It says nothing about conference vs. conference. Is the Pac-10 better than the Big 11 because they blew OSU out? On the same token is the Mountain West better than the Pac-10 because they won 6 games this year against Pac-10 opponents? NO! Please stop trying to make my brain explode! No one will ever win this argument because there will always be some team from the BEST CONFERENCE EVER that blows a game against an out of conference opponent they had no business losing to!! It's impossible to win this argument!

4. The "New Hampshire Lady who Knocks Boots with a Bama Fan and doesn't know squat about football," said, "See I told you so! NIU was tough!"

I now feel inadequate. Thank you for that. Pardon me while I google The Idiot's Guide to Sepuku. VEEK VEEK VEEK!

5. The "Actually Reasonable Auburn Fan who follows college football" said to me, Angry Things I Can't Repeat on RTT about "Ma Fudging" Tony Franklin who couldn't "Coach a Fudging Dog to Eat, Stink, or Lick his Fudging"-that's enough buddy-"if they were hanging off his fudging nose!"

Stay away from the light good buddy! Please come back. Take a breath. Ten of them, even. Vandy is legit this year. They are good! I promise. Would it make you feel better if somebody else lost to them? Consider it done (probably)! In the bank! It will be okay. Your defense is beautiful. Think of them! The defense man! If your defense was a woman, she would be smoking hot! She would be smoking hot and completely unsusceptible to advances by other men. If the defense was a woman you would definitely want to date her! Heck yes! You'd marry your Defense!

6. The "Vandy Grad" said to everyone, "This fall has been a weird experience for me."

All things aside, good for you man. Enjoy it.

For all those die hard Vandy Fans, I truly am happy for you guys--division race or not. For all those season ticket holders that went to UT-Vandy games in Nashville and watched as orange-clad fans outnumbered them in their own stadium--this has been wonderful time for you and I am, in all seriousness, happy for you all. It's easy to be a fan if you are lucky enough to be born into a family with ties to a school with a winning heritage. For myself, Tennessee (well usually it's easy), for others Southern Cal, Florida, LSU, Texas, Oklahoma, Penn State, Michigan, or Ohio State. For those fans, being a fan is easy because more often than not you are winning. It's the fans like those Nashville-ians that rock the black and gold at Vanderbilt, that show everyone what being a faithful fan all about. That, through thick and a lot of thin, they continue to show that they are proud to be associated with Vanderbilt. Even if you are a SEC East rival, how can you not be just a little bit happy for them?

Having said that and without getting into what should happen to our own coaching staff, I ask that all us Volunteer fans take a page out of the Vandy fan playbook and reflect on the situation. Whether we realize it or not, we have had it great (not just good) for a long time. Right now it's rough, but it's those hard moments where your character shines through. We will get back there...and when we do...the struggles endured during seasons like these will make getting back that much sweeter. [To self, god that was preachy. Quick tell a joke it's getting uncomfortable in here]

Commentary: Offense, What kind of Number 2’er are you?

MeytonPanning — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:27:16 -0000

Well, it's been fun folks, but it looks like my brief stint at RTT may end with this post. The standards of taste and appropriateness enforced at RTT will probably preclude my staying on as a contributor. But sometimes...you get these weird ideas and decide--it just had to be said...

-MeytonPanning

There is a whole world of political intrigue, backdoor dealings, false fronts, and posturing that seldom gets talked about. In this secretive world you are constantly watching your back, checking every move, and making sure that nobody sees or hears too much. Behind the closed doors of this less than magical place, you do things that you hope no one else ever has to witness. It is perhaps the only thing left in the world that most people do truly by themselves.

Yes. I am talking about going number 2.

And the most awkward place to go number 2 is at the office.

On a lucky day, you'll get the communal bathroom all to yourself, free to make all the effort you need to get the job done. Flying solo, you can make as much noise as you want. Exert as much force as possible to rid yourself of your (hopefully) temporary burden. It doesn't matter if the room sounds like someone is at Diving Practice, rocking and rolling an AK-47 on full auto while screaming "ADRIANNNNNNN!!!." Because no one is there. You are alone. Alone to do what must be done.

But then there are those days, when you are not so lucky.

I am talking about the days when maybe somebody else ordered the same thing at lunch. The days where, sadly, you are not alone in the office bullpen. Somebody is sitting next to you in one of the most frustratingly tense and awkward situations Mankind has ever experienced. The office restroom with multiple porcelain thrones is the great equalizer of all. In that room, together with another human, rank, status, assets (heee heee)--all are meaningless. In that room we are all the same. We are all trying to.....you know....go.

And we are dang self conscious about it too. When doing the doo (Bet Mountain Dew didn't think of that angle) with someone else sitting next to you, you become another person. You become a different type of dooer. You don't over.....uh....do it. You try to be passive about it. Baby steps. You don't try to throw the whole shebang out with one glorious release of energy. Because that would make sounds. That would make an enormous splash. That would be uncouth.

So what do you do when doing 2 with another? You measure yourself. A little at a time. You don't do anything drastic because your overarching goal at this strange moment in your life is to be as silent and non-embarrassing as possible.

Please...bear with me...I promise I have a point.

The Volunteer Offense is playing like someone else is crapping in the stall next to them.

It's like the Vols are afraid of making waves (no pun intended). Trying too hard not to take risks and make mistakes. Where did all these short yardage plays come from? It seems like they're constantly trying to hit on short five yard routes. Even with the one pass attempt we've made out of the G-Gun we didn't throw it downfield. We threw it to Lucas Taylor who seemed like he was still on the line of scrimmage. We used to have an offense that was pretty consistent at taking shots downfield. It seems like right now we are constantly fighting and failing for the short yardage gains.

I'm not saying that the Vols are not taking shots down the field. They are! But when it doesn't work and the boo birds come out the offense seems to get self conscious and crawl into this shell of short yardage only plays. On second down instead of running up the gut (oh how topical) we try to keep defenses off balance with shart (sorry that slipped)---short yardage throws designed to put us in a good short yardage positions for third down. We keep trying to produce with the small plays. It's not working!!

We need our vertical passing game back. We need our ground game to continue our tradition of excruciatingly hard fought drives that showcase the maximum effort and pride that Vol fans and solo office poo'ers are used to.

Take charge offense. This is your game. You play your game how you want to. Not how the other team wants you to. Don't take what you can get. Throw it all and the kitchen sink at ‘em and see if you got more left!

Ignore the other person Vols. Pretend he ain't there. MAKE ALL THE NOISE YOU WANT. MAKE A SPLASH! Play your game. Dance like no ones watching. Sing like no ones listening. Crap like no ones listening (or smelling). Be the 2er that goes like heck because no one else is there. Be Free!! Don't be the paranoid 2er that constantly is wondering, "Oh my god, did he hear that???"

It's gonna be hard work and sometimes it'll stink. But, BY GOD, somebody has got to do it.

GOOD LAWD THAT'S A LOT O' MONEE!!!

MeytonPanning — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:41:05 -0000

GOOD LAWD THAT'S A LOT O' MONEE!!!

Hooper mentioned Coach Fulmer's massive buyout in an earlier post. Well, turns out it may be even more than we initially thought.

Behind Enemy Lines

MeytonPanning — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:36:00 -0000

More things I hear at work at the Cubicle Farm here in Alabama, and the scathing things I think when I hear them.

1. The "Bama Band Dweeb Alum" Guy said, "Alabama's history of consistent success has always been due to leadership. That's what the Tide have over every other program in the country. Leadership." [Voice in my Head] Consistent..... Leadership..... Alabama....Dubose, Franchione, Price, Shula....The only consistent thing about Bama Leadership in the past twenty years is that you run through coaches like you-know-what (that would be crap) through a goose. I'm apoplectic "happy" for your success this season. It drives me bat crap crazy is good for the SEC. It makes me want to vomit in your desk rubbish bin proud to be a fan of the conference. Saban's success tells me that you can do anything with four mill a year, a complimentery car, a complimentary country club membership, and all the free red clothes you can stomach integrity and a processes.

2. The "Will-Muschamp-is-still-here-Auburn" Guy said, "Time to play another wuss from Tennessee." [Voice in my Head] Count to Ten. Breathe. Relax, only 7 hours and 28 minutes of work left. And then he'll be gone. With his personalized Auburn license plate (on his super sweet Honda Element). Yeah, don't let the guy who has a Honda Element get to you. He drives a car that looks like a forbidden love child between a geriatric Hummer and a plastic shoebox. Don't let him get to you. You can go home in 7 hours and 27 minutes and 30 seconds. And when Vandy beats Auburn this weekend, you can smile and think "Heh, Auburn lost and you still drive the ugliest car in history.....ok, well second most ugly car....this is the ugliest car in history.

3. On the drive to work I saw this Mercedes with a personalized plate that reinforced the idea that A. He was a Bama super fan and B. He drove a Mercedes. (I won't put the exact plate because I think it could get me into trouble. But that won't prevent me from sharing the thoughts I had!) [Voice in my Head] Wow, guy. Thanks for making sure I understood that you were a Bama fan (the 7 window stickers apparently weren't enough). Also, thanks for ensuring that I knew you drove a Mercedes. Sometimes I read those letters and I think "Apple Pie." Or I see the three pointed emblem and I think, "Wow, he drives a double cheeseburger!" Now I know, though, that somewhere out there, someone paid $100,000+ for an S550, 70 bucks for a personal plate, and 50 cents for 7 window stickers that ruin the entire car. Great Job! By the way, all this was said without a modicum of jealousy over your ridicously nice car or the recent success of your team. Seriously. Pardon me while I cry/vomit now.

4. The "I am from New Hampshire, but I wear crimson every Friday because I married a Bama Fan who loves UA(T) more than Me" Lady said to me, "Does Tennessee have a match this weekend?" [Voice in my Head] Really? I got nothing. You know you can talk to me about something else if you need to. Because what happens when I say, "Yes, they are 'matching' NIU." You'll nod not knowing what to say next because you'll wonder if I said N-I-U or if I started speaking Inuit and said "Ennayeyoo." And then you'll wonder if it would be stupid to ask me, "Where is that?" because everytime you ask your Bammer husband a question about football he looks at you like you have a foreign object sticking out of your nose. But if you did ask me where N-I-U was I would tell you without mocking you because honestly, I don't know anything about NIU myself. But instead you are going to say in Five, Four, Three, Two One, ---"New Hampshire Lady With Bammer Husband" said, "Oooh, I hear they are tough!"---and now I'll look at you like you have a foreign object sticking out of your nose, you'll recognize the look from home, awkwardly leave my cubicle and the conversation at that, and now I'll smell my pits wondering if I stink. Awesome.

5. The "Actually Reasonable Auburn Fan Who Follows College Football" Guy said to me, "Did she just say she heard NIU was tough?" (I Nod) "By the way, I'm scared to death of Vandy right now." [Voice in my Head] THANK YOU. Still the only guy in the office I can talk to. Please talk to me for at least five minutes so I can be sure that my pits don't reek.....

Around the League

MeytonPanning — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:31:10 -0000

Here are some games, storylines, and scenarios outside of Knoxville to watch out for this weekend! We'll look at all the SEC action and give the other BCS conferences a quick and dirty. Beat NIU!

Southeastern Conference

1. No. 12 Florida @ Arkansas. Tim Tebow is making sure that the Gators will not lose focus because of the Ole Miss game. My advice to Arkansas: Be afraid, be very afraid. You are about to be god blessed into submission by the hardest hitting Missionary that ever lived. Bobby Petrino is looking to bounce back after back to back blowout losses to Alabama and Texas. It looks like that rebound is going to have to wait until after this weekend. A Razorback upset, however unlikely, would be an early Christmas gift to rest of the SEC East.

2. Kentucky @ No. 2 Alabama-Tuscaloosa. Alabama is off to a blistering start after physical wins against Clemson and Georgia. Don't crown them yet though as Bama had early season success last year but then....well we know how that worked out... Don't expect last season to repeat itself as Nick Saban seems to have this very young team exactly where he wants them. Kentucky is 4-0 with its best win coming against a .500 Louisville team. As much as I hate to say it, the Vols may need Bama to win to keep alive in the "I don't want to be last in the SEC East" Race.

3. South Carolina @ Ole Miss. Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks invade the Grove. I'm thinking that the Head Ball Coach really wishes he had a Jevan Snead right now. Watch for Spurrier's Defense to play out of their minds. Last year's Houston Nutt lead Razorbacks ran all over the Gamecocks gaining 500+ yards....rushing yards that is. Look for Spurrier to play with an even bigger chip on his shoulder in this matchup of two of the most fascinating coaches in the SEC. Again the Vols probably need a Rebel win to keep pace with the SEC East.

4. No. 13 Auburn @ No. 19 Vanderbilt. College Gameday is coming to Nashville. You read that correctly. Vandy. Vanderbilt is back has arrived. While it pains me to say this, Auburn is facing a better offense than they saw this past Saturday. This is a very dangerous game for the Tigers and a loss would not be surprising would put the Tigers in a 2 game hole in the SEC West race. An Auburn loss would keep Vanderbilt firmly in the driver's seat of the SEC East. The Vanderbilt D has been stout so if Auburn has the same issues on offense that they had against Tennessee, Vanderbilt has an excellent chance to win this ball game. Auburn can't rely on Crompton Nickson coughing up the ball on the Tennessee Vanderbilt three yard line to win this game.

5. NIU @ Tennessee. Nick Stephen's coming out party?

6. LSU, UGA, and MSU are inactive this week.

Now for a quick look around the other conferences.

ACC

Duke @ Georgia Tech. I mentioned before that I was a cadet at the United States Military Academy before I meandered back home to UT. This game is a little personal for me. Paul Johnson torched Army while I was at West Point. I really want to see David Cutcliffe punch Georgia Tech in the face be competitive early in the ACC and a win in Atlanta would be a huge game for the Blue Devils.

FSU @ Miami. Bobby Bowden's seemingly decade long swan song changes venue to Pro Player Stadium. Randy Shannon's squad could use a big win after that horrific last second loss to former Canes Coach Butch Davis and the Tarheels.

No. 24 UCONN @ North Carolina. Coach Butch Davis has done a saban-esque type job with the former co-floormat of the ACC. This game will be a huge statement for the beleaguered conferences of the winner. Both the Big East and the ACC have taken it on the chin this year and an UNC win would help massage some of that ACC criticism.

Maryland @ UVA. Al Groh needs a win....badly.

Big 12

No 1. Oklahoma @ Baylor. The dreaded Red River Shootout Look Ahead game. That's probably overstating it. Boomer Sooner.

No. 16 Kansas @ Iowa State . Mangino has really got Kansas rolling. Kansas has really got Mangino rolling. I apologize.

No. 4 Mizzou @ Nebraska, No. 5 Texas @ Colorado, No. 7 Texas Tech @ KSU, TAMU @ No. 21 Oklahoma State. Jeez the Big 12 has a lot of ranked teams. An impressive roster of Quarterbacks too.

Big 10

No. 6 Penn State @ Purdue. Joe Pa and Jay Pa have got Beaver Stadium back on fire with the Spread HD. Isn't it crazy that Joe Tiller is the one on his retirement tour and not Paterno?

No. 14 Ohio State @ No. 18 Wisconsin. Wisconsin, on the heels of a tough loss to Michigan, now gets the pleasure of facing a hungry Beanie Wells and Terrelle Pryor. The Georgia, Florida, and USC losses put Ohio State back into consideration especially if one of those teams has another meltdown. Look for Ohio State to respond with vigor now that September has done a last minute imitation of the insanity of 2007.

Big East

Pitt @ No. 10 South Florida. Jim Leavitt's turn-key construction job with South Florida has been nothing short of astonishing. 10 years ago if somebody had told you that South Florida would be ranked above Florida, Florida State, and Miami, they would have gotten your family together, scheduled an intervention, and shipped you off to rehab no matter how clear your pee pee was. The Panthers are capable of pulling one out of their behinds, see here, but I doubt the Bulls will be caught unprepared.

Rutgers @ West Virginia. Actually this would have been interesting two years ago. Last year even. This year? Not so much.

PAC-10

Stanford @ Notre Dame. I must say that after last year, the Golden Domers have been surprisingly quiet. Part of me feels sorry for them. Ok...that last line was a blatant lie. Jim Harbaugh has got the Irish right where he wants them. Thinking about and judging Jimmy Clausen's new do.

ASU @ Cal. ASU's loss to Georgia coupled with Cal's meltdown in Maryland has taken some of the luster from this game. My thoughts? Cal's new uni's are atrocious and I hope the Sun Devils demolish them for it.

No. 23 Oregon @ No. 9 USC. Rey Rey is angry. That is enough to scare the crap out of me.

Washington @ Arizona. Poor Ty Willingham. Poor Mike Stoops. The losing (maybe even winning too) coach of this game can expect to be an expert TV analyst or assistant coach in the near future.

Independents

See Notre Dame above.

Also Navy @ Air Force. The most competitive matchup in the race for the Commander-in-Chief's Trophy is an underrated event. Recently, Navy has dominated the series winning the last five. But Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada may be out for Saturday's game. That and Paul Johnson is now at Georgia Tech. Having said that, beating Air Force would be huge win for new Coach Ken Niumatalolo and Navy. Navy upset Wake Forest last weekend and may be able to take that momentum and extend the series winning streak to six. Also, Navy has some AWESOME names.

BCS Busters!

No. 8 BYU @ Utah State. BYU has outscored its last four opponents 172-44 including shutouts of UCLA (Sorry Vols) and Wyoming (Sorry Hooper). This one will be just as ugly.

Oregon State @ No. 15 Utah (Thursday). My new favorite player of the season is Jacquizz Rodgers. The tiny tiny back was lost in the weeds last Thursday when USC's defense went out on a fruitless manhunt for him. It will be interesting to see how a smaller team like Utah does against Rodgers. The Trojan tacklers couldn't get low enough to tackle Rodgers. Ironically, Utah may be short enough to tackle the little guy.

Working with the Enemy(ies): This is a bad week to work in Alabama....

MeytonPanning — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:53:08 -0000

Everyday I commute from southern Tennessee and drive to work in Huntsville, Alabama. I do this because the money is better in Huntsville and I love living in Tennessee. The best of both worlds....right? Maybe not. So far Auburn fans and Bammer fans are really pushing the limits of my willingness to continue to let them breath.

Seriously.

I. Am. About. To. Crack.

The Auburn fans can't talk crap right now to Bama fans, so to compensate they have decided to talk smack to the UT fans. The Bama fans, who apparently won the National Championship this past Saturday, are talking crap to everyone. Here is a not so random sample of the things I've heard so far. Immediately following is the painful voice over thingy I hear in my head....sometimes louder than usual. It has to be a voice over because I'd probably get fired if I said the things I really wanted to say to these jerks.

1. The "I-have-an-Auburn-Sticker-on-my-Car-Yay-War-Eagle" Guy said to me, "Man, Muschamp really shut UT down this past Saturday! What, Muschamp is at Texas? No way, I'm gonna check that, I think you are lying. (Checks Auburn website) HOLY CRAP, he is! [Voice Over] You moron. Yes Muschamp is at Texas. Where have you been? Do you even like Auburn? Or do you just have the sticker and wear the clothes becuase all the cool kids do. Did you watch the game? Because if you did, statistically you should have blundered into the information that Tommy Tuberville goes through assistants faster than he goes through a Family-Pack of Q-Tips. Which is to say....really really fast. I bet you watched the pre game but got distracted when you noticed the Battlestar Galactica marathon was on Sci-Fi. LEAVE ME ALONE, MAN, I CAN'T TALK FOOTBALL WITH YOU. I know more about Auburn that YOU do and I don't even like them.......Yes, I would like one of the cookies your wife made. Thank you.

2. The "God, Crimson Tide, Family" Guy said to me, "God, it's really hilarious to see how bad Tennessee is. You all are still living in the past with 1998 season." [Voice Over] Seriously? A Bama fan talking to me about living in the past? Are you serious?? {looks up at the ceiling with angry fist and shouts, UNIVERSE YOU WIN AGAIN!!!!} Win your first four games and now you can't shut up. I remember last year when you called in sick on Monday after the Louisiana Monroe Game. I remember when you finally came back to work three days later you said that you had been busy helping your Mom move and you hadn't been able to catch the game. Oh sure Mr. I've-Never-Missed-A-Home-Game-Since-I-Was-8. Oddly enough, that streak was somehow still alive when you brought it up a couple of weeks ago. When I called you out on it, you said you had to leave the game early to help her move. Dear Lord, Please don't let me lose it and punch him in the Face. Dear Lord, What is the capital of Thailan-------NOOOO don't do it, you need this job!

3. The "I was a Bama Band Sousaphone Player So I Get the Inside Scoop Every Week" Guy said to me, "Its absolute crap that Oklahoma is number 1. Look at how they choke during BCS bowl games. They will never finish the year unbeaten. Bama has the inside track to Miami." [Voice Over] Ah yes, beat two top ten teams and go ahead and give the Championship to Ala-freakin-Bama. Oklahoma has no shot. Its not like they've done anything lately. What has Bob Stoops got on Nick Saban? Its not like Oklahoma has gone to the Independence Bowl twice in the past two years......wait a minute....which team did that? Stop wearing your band polo to work. Nobody is impressed that you hefted a Sousaphone in college. What the hell is a Sousaphone anyways??

4. The "Lone Georgia Fan in the Office" Guy said to me, Nothing! For once since last year's Sugar Bowl, this guy has had suprisingy little to say on Monday! [Voice Over] What a lovely German term, Schadenfreude....I kind of wish it had been South Carolina, but heck sometimes you takes what you gets. Even if it is delivered in a ghastly crimson package.

5. The "Actually Reasonable Auburn Fan Who Follows the Rest of College Football" Guy said to me, "Man, both our offenses are horrible, dude. It's going to be long season for both of us......And please, somebody has got to do something about Bama...." [Voice Over] You are the only person I like in this office.

There are much more of these incidents to come. It's a cubicle farm so there is bound to be more college football talk this week. Will keep RTT posted.