SB Nation User Blog: Mr. Plank

Link Rats: The Inaugural Post

Mr. Plank — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:52:06 -0000

It's party time!

Welcome one welcome all to Fear The Fin's first edition of Link Rats. It's clever as hell because I replaced "rink" with "link" in the phrase "rink rats." Get it? Cause' we're working all day finding hockey links instead of working on our game at the hockey rink?

Anyways, here's what we got in store for you today:

Joe Pavelski helps a family coping with the loss of their father. Looks like that playhouse we saw intermittently throughout the year finally found an owner. Touching stuff.
As most of you know already, Captain Elbows signed a seven year contract with Philadelphia. He's not 35 yet, so if he retires before the end of his contract the Flyers won't be on the hook for his salary cap hit. Right? Uh oh spaghettios, not so fast Philly.
Side note: With all the legal issues surrounding the NHL this offseason, it's high time someone rings John Grisham.
Sakic or Yzerman- who ya got? I'm going with number 19. Final answer.
Kurtis Foster signs with the Tampa Bay Lightning, presumably to avoid playing against Torrey Mitchell more than once next season.
Sandis Ozolinsh is making a comeback. Here's the only known tape of him playing defense, for anyone interested.
The Razor hits the nail on the head in regards to Michael Jackson's funeral coverage. One of the many reasons he's the best in the biz.
Alexei Kovalev will try and convince Dany Heatley to stay in Ottawa. Ten bucks Kovy schedules a meeting and decides not to show up.
Saku Koivu signs with those quacks down the road. One of the reasons he chose Anaheim was because he didn't want to fight for ice time with his brother. Obviously the Ducks are going to have no heart next season. Also, Smokin' Sergei Zhubov is not likely to return to Dallas.
Burnaby Joe deserves two links this morning. Top Ten Things TSN loves about one of the greatest players of all time.
Scratch that, we're making it three. How do ya like dem' apples?
In San Jose news, the Sharkzzzzzzz....
OT: The weirdest thing you'll watch all day.

Go (tohell!) Offseason.

Poll

"Link Rats." Shall we forge ahead with this name?

Claude Lemieux Retires

Mr. Plank — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:39:02 -0000

Claude Lemieux Retires

Didn't see that one coming.

Good luck on the golf course Monsieur Lemieux, and thanks for all the, er, memories.

The Monster Signs With Toronto

Mr. Plank — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:44:47 -0000

The Monster Signs With Toronto

All dreams die, kids, ya hear me! ALL DREAMS DIE!!!

We've still got a damned good team... I believe in [GM] Doug Wilson. He will bring Lord Stanley's...

Mr. Plank — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:36:09 -0000

We've still got a damned good team... I believe in [GM] Doug Wilson. He will bring Lord Stanley's Cup home.

- Lurker Shark [ESPN's Ultimate Standings]

The Fate of NHL40Man

Mr. Plank — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:01:18 -0000

News is slow, obviously.

The Subject

Name: NHL40Man

Age: 40?

Sex: Man?

The Facts

* 4 Fanposts, 9 comments

* Fanposts have nothing to do with the Sharks, nor do they attempt to touch upon that subject. Furthermore, most pieces could easily have been a comment in a previous article.

* Writing prose contains LOTS OF CAPS LOCK TRAUMA and is difficult to read at times. Meandering and unfocused is probably a sound description.

* Profile contains hilarious mission statement:

Well enjoy the site and look for weekly updates from me.
And I am a Detroit Red Wings fan and yes I know they lost the cup but they did win it last year and it was a good series.

Thanks for SB Nation.com for letting me do this.

* Has already been offered high paying jobs at Blogspot or Wordpress.

* Is a Detroit Red Wings fan, but does not belong to Winging It In Motown. Confusing, but not necessarily grounds for expulsion.

The Evidence

1) Gary Bettman and the Yotes

Excerpt: "I want a say in this! I think it is absolute bullshit that Gary Bettman is making excusesto not have another team in Canada! GARY BETTMAN HATES CANADA! I hate Bettman now."

2) Free Agents So Far....

Excerpt: "stupid monkey (hossa) pfffft!"

3) NHL 09 vs. NHL 2K9

Excerpt: "TO EA GAMES; (madden 09!) WE DONT HAVE 5 YEAR OLD KIDS OR SUPER JESUS LOVING PEOPLE PLAYING THE GAME SO YOU DONT NEED TO HAVE A MAJOR CENSORSHIP ON THE GAMES!!! I love jesus though. Be a pro is a little hard and boring as a goalie though."

4) Trades and Free Agents and Stuff

Excerpt: "Hey Im Here to talk about some trades and the Free Agents. So after you read this don't tell your friends..... TELL THE GUYS WHO ARE IN HERE TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE..... Thanks and have a wonderful day (no homo)"

The Vote....

Poll

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?!?!?!

The waiting is the hardest part.

Mr. Plank — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:44:48 -0000

The waiting is the hardest part.

Ryan Smyth Traded To Kings

Mr. Plank — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:13:48 -0000

Ryan Smyth Traded To Kings

Details to follow- most likely whether or not he cried when the Avs told him about the deal.

Free Agency Thread Until October

Mr. Plank — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 08:48:24 -0000

Fans looking for an immediate transaction to shake up the Sharks roster will have to acknowledge that there is a long time left before the first puck is dropped on 2009-10.

Plus, having some flexibility under the NHL’s financial constraints could allow the Sharks to find some hidden gems if other clubs run into problems with the salary cap.

-sjsharks.com

If we need to dump salary, then how do opposing teams with salary cap problems help us out? Neither team can take a net salary gain in a deal. I understand it's the PR department writing these pieces, but still.

Mearghhhh.

Go Sharks.

Clowe Signed- 4 years @ 3.5 per [Update: "North of 3.5"] [Update 2: 4 years @ 3.6- Confirmed]

Mr. Plank — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:31:02 -0000

Clowe Signed- 4 years @ 3.5 per [Update: "North of 3.5"] [Update 2: 4 years @ 3.6- Confirmed]

Solid deal, although I wish the dollar amount would have been a little less. Cap space is looking mighty tight nowadays, but in reality that was near market value.

Here is what we had to say about him going into free agency.

Welcome back Cloweverfield.

H/T to a10dency2ask for the link

[Update 1:27 AM]: I could have possibly misread it initially or it has been updated. Regardless, Lebrun is now saying Clowe's contract will be "north of $3.5 M."

We'll see how high it goes, but I'm suddenly not as sold on the deal as I was before. Color me concerned.

[Update 3:34 PM]: Clowe is at 3.6 per year. "Concerned" no longer.

VIVA LA NET PRESENCE!!!1

Fuzzy Math... maybe?

Mr. Plank — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:11:15 -0000

This serves as a companion to this post- I'm trying to crunch the numbers right now, and needed to put it on ~~paper~~ the internet for the sake of my mental health.

Here's where we are starting off today, July 2nd:

5.3 M in cap space, six forwards and a backup goaltender need to be signed.

If we're assuming McGinn will crack the roster, that brings us to 4.3 (his cap hit is .997). When mentioning Boucher's departure, David Pollak of Working The Corners stated, "All that presumes, of course, [is] that the Sharks see Gustavsson or Thomas Greiss as their likely back-up this fall." [link]. For the sake of discussion, either goaltender's cap hit will be estimated at $.800 M.

$3.5 M in cap space, five forwards need to be signed.

Once Ryane Clowe's reported deal is cleared with league offices, I assume he will make somewhere in that range. Let's slot him at $3.0 M per year. [Plank Edit: Clowe re-signs for "north" $3.5 M per year- numbers in this post are updated under the assumption it is worth $3.5]

$0.0 M in cap space, four forwards need to be signed.

Not much to play with here, to say the very least. A list of potential trade prospects and their cap numbers:

Jonathan Cheechoo (3.0), Milan Michalek (4.3), Christian Ehrhoff (3.1), Brad Lukowich (1.57), Patrick Marleau (6.3), Douglas Murray (2.5), Evgeni Nabokov (5.38)

Let's engage in a rousing game of hypotheticals for a moment:

Cheechoo, Michalek, Ehrhoff, and Lukowich are moved. After those deals occur, the Sharks are left with roughly $11.97 M in cap room. In order to fill out the roster, San Jose must bring in six forwards and two defensemen. That is $1.5 M per player.
Nabokov, Cheechoo, and Lukowich are moved. After those deals occur, the Sharks are left with roughly $9.95 M in cap room. In order to fill out the roster, San Jose must bring in five forwards, one defenseman, and one goaltender (presumably a starter). That is $1.42 M per player.
Marleau, Lukowich, and Michalek are moved. After those deals occur, the Sharks are left with roughly $12.17 M in cap room. In order to fill out the roster, San Jose must bring in six forwards and one defenseman. That is $1.74 M per player.

Essentially, what these numbers are saying is the available space is minimal at best, and therefore a) trade value of all of these players could decrease once opposing GM's realize the cap complications b) it may not matter because the Sharks must take less net salary in a deal to fill the roster and c) expecting a fair return (let alone an upgrade) in a trade is not a guarantee.

Furthermore, d) San Jose may be renamed Worcester next season with the influx of minor leaguers being called up e) our free agency targets are going to have to be in the sub 2.00 range and f) Nabokov and Marleau are definitely not off the table, regardless of whether or not it is in the best interest of the organization's on-ice product.

Other Notes: As mentioned before, Lukowich is where this needs to begin- you can't be paying above $1.5 M for a healthy scratch blueliner... Torrey Mitchell must be re-signed... 2008-2009 was the first season the organization spent to the salary cap maximum... Setoguchi, Pavelski, Marleau, and Nabokov will be free agents next offseason, with Seto and Pavs due for raises... the salary cap is predicted to drop for 2010-2011... We looked at the cap earlier this season, but may have underestimated it... grumble grumble...

We haven't hit critical mass just yet- San Jose is still a playoff team. However, expecting that at the end of this month we will have improved the roster from last year's version may be a bit of a pipe dream. Doug Wilson is going to have to get pretty creative for that to happen.

Here's to hope.

Go Sharks.