No, Coach Joe Paterno did not retire.

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Lessons I learned from Penn State:

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Let's talk about a REAL list: Academics.  Alumnus, students, staff, fans...we throw better than McGloin and Bolden put together!  

#51 out of 400 ranked by the Times Higher Education

PSU highlight says we're known as the "Public Ivy".  I never heard of the title but I like the sound of it!

Peking University...we HAD YOU! (#50)

Kyoto University...you SUCK (#52)

King's College London...BOOOO (#56)

Ohio State University...what country are you in?  BOOO (#57)

École Normale Supérieure...you're tied with the University of Pittsburgh HAHAHA!!! (#59)

Katholieke Universiteit Leuven, Georg-August-Universität Göttingen, Seoul National University...we'll kick your ass in football...and our QBs are TERRIBLE!!!

Seriously though, I am shocked we rank higher than University of Southern California, Rice University, University of Notre Dame, Dartmouth College, Vanderbilt, WIlliam & Mary, Emory, and Boston College.  I think it's because I've been relying on US News & World Report, which is about as relevant now as the AP Poll.

B1G has 5 in the top 50, 9 in the top 100.

Vanderbilt comes in at #70, the highest SEC school on the list.  The very next one is Florida at 125.  

Oh, and yours truly lives four blocks away from #1.  Thankfully, it ain't LSU or 'Bama in this world.

Okay, I know football is important to most of you, for some it's an obsession, and for a few it's your life (or in my opinion, a non-life), but reading this really gets my goat.

The Gee's Speech

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I'm on a plane with nothing to do for the next 5 hours so I'm going to post some things that came up in the last hour or so.  Then Mr. Rosewater will ask for your opinion (which is so out of character for him).

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Ok, so the last time I wrote you, God, was before last year's Michigan game.  I asked that Penn State beat the living #^&! out of Michigan.  The final score was 35-10.  And for that, I have one thing to say:

God bless you, God.

Now, maybe it was JoePa's coaching, maybe it was his staff, maybe the players stepped up big time during that game.  But I attribute it all to you.  Don't be modest: you hate the Wolverines as much as we do.  Why else would Michigan's economy suck so bad?  I mean, surely, auto factories have a God given right to move their rackets down to Mexico and over to China and Korea.  It's capitalism, just as you had intended.  Corporations are more important to our elected officials than individual voters.  The same voters who only care about jobs, money, health care, abortion, gay marriage, burning the Koran, yada yada yada...I KNOW, WHO CARES, RIGHT?  How is Goldman Sachs doing?  How can BP and AIG get back on their cloven hooves feet?  They're the ones keeping your beloved country afloat.

ANYWAYS...

Big game this evening.  Us vs. Bama.

Look, I'm not asking for miracles or anything like that.  You can only do so much.  I mean if we KILL Bama, people will start to wonder about the existence of an Invisible Hand, thereby, the collective unconscious giving birth to the Creator Himself: You. 

Then wait...never mind.

So this is what I'm asking for the game: mind you: every possible scenario has been explored by bloggers and talkyakkers on BSD.  I, myself, cannot think of another outcome, even though technically outcomes are nearly limitless.

This is what I ask: surprise me.  Seriously.  Penn State started a freshman QB last week and I'm waiting for another wwhhhaaaaa....

I want something no one predicted.  Something good for Penn State.  A win would be good, obviously, but we all want something more.  Something more than an exciting game.  Something more than a win.

Winning huge or getting destroyed will not do.  Something, something, something...

Something that puts JoePa over the top, that would make the "Bear" cringe and overjoyed at the same time.

I know you got it in you, God.  You have an Ace up your sleeve.  USE IT @ Tuscaloosa.

Something like this....

or this...

ok, one more...

ok, fine...

and a what the hell...

It’s been a while since I posted a Fanpost, so I figured I’d pass down some wisdom for those who are going to spend their first football season commenting on BSD's game threads.

(And by the way, can you smell the autumn leaves and grilled meats yet?  I can.  And I live in LA!)

Some fast rules to live by so there’s no confusion. 

In no particular order:


1)    Knowledge of the Franco-Prussian War, American Civil War, and World War II is a MUST! 

2)    If you want to post a photo in your comments, open a Photobucket.com account.  It provides a URL address which makes things easier.

3)    Fugimaster likes Selena Gomez.  It’s accepted here.  Don’t bother calling the authorities.

4)    His name is ReadingRambler.  He is everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.  He is also an Iowa fan.  Take him seriously at your own risk.  He only comments AFTER a big game.

5)    No cussing!

6)    If the opponent scores first, DO NOT FREAK OUT!  There’s 60 minutes in a game.

7)    When you “rec” or “+1”  a comment, be sure to actually “rec” it in the “actions” tab.  We like the color green.

8)    No politics!

9)    If you’re watching the game while commenting on BSD, most likely you’re alone and you have a longing for companionship.  KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

10)     Trolls are usually banned so get in your digs on them as fast as you can.

11)     Sometimes, posting a comment is delayed, so the thread that you see on YOUR computer may not be in the same order on someone else’s computer.

12)     Flirt with BSDivas.  They like the attention ;-)

13)     “JoePa must retire!” rhetoric is not condoned.

14)     We like bacon.

15)     Do NOT spam! 

16)     If you spot a spam, be sure to comment, “I tried it and it sucked”, followed by a one-liner on said product.  You WILL be judged by your wit.

17)     DO NOT ask for a thread jump.  BSD editors have it covered ahead of time (or they should, anyway).

18)     Graham Zug is God.  You will be required to bask in his glory.

19)     QB#14 is a reference to ex PSU QB Anthony Morelli

20)     The argument for former PSU QB Pat Devlin has been beaten beyond death.  Don’t bother bringing it up.

21)     Beware the White Dog.

22)     Photoshop till your hearts contend.

23)     Iowa fans are welcomed here.  Other fans, not-so-much.

24)     Skins4ever refers to a weeny teenager who posted here once.

25)     Yes, ESPN (tWWL) sucks.  Their commentators suck.  They get things wrong all the time and it sucks.  They keep referring to JoePa’s age which sucks.  They just suck.  I have trouble containing my outrage at them which sucks. 

That’s all I got so far.  Veterans care to add anything?

As you gaze into the mirror, where another dimensions lies beyond your reflection, ask the yourself a simple question: who amongst that snake pit we call the college football coaching world, is the scummiest, dirtiest, most unconscionable motherf&#%$er that rules them all.

XXX  XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO XXX XOXO

Okay you dopes.  Time to make predictions on who will end up being the Big Ten's twelfth member.  And when I mean predictions, I mean who ultimately ends up joining.  Not who you want to join, or who deserves to join, or who makes sense, blah blah blah.

Just who De-lame-y ends up choosing as the twelfth member.

I don't want to read any comments unless you're submitting an alternate candidate.  Just cast your VOTE!

Let's see if we are right after eighteen months.