This man doesn't pull punches. To say he's pretty direct understates the case. To say he's just pretty overstates your eyesight.

Blog site motto: "don't let anything fast get by you unless, of course, it has an unpleasant odor"

Vital statistics:
Name: Yelvington Smorkfinder
Age: Smells like cheese, must be old
Height: 6'4" when standing on a 2' cigar box
Weight: 220 all muscle (yeah head, too, smartnose)
Eyes: both
Hair: Wild
Resemblance to well-known person: No

Mr. Blunt has successfully completed the Witness Protection Program and is now running around loose disguised as his twin brother. After working for six months as a prima ballerina on a cruise ship Blunt opted to take up studying racquet science at the Hazard (KY) School of Tennis and Bass Fishing. Upon graduation he was accepted into Hazard Possum Lodge 802 where he accidentally shot himself in the back and decided to become Italian.

In 1962, Mr. Blunt had his pet anteater exhumed and transferred his auto club membership to an offshore account. Blunt gave up eating pickles, kale and crabmeat and became a strict carnivore.

His favorite color is anything except light grey, and he enjoys ballroom dancing, smelling crabmeat and limping. His strict regimen of holding his breath every other April has become a family tradition. Being a guy who loves to relax, Blunt comments, "I enjoy having a nice bowl of smelt and sitting in the corner reading instructions for small appliances."

No slouch at bowling, Blunt once rolled a 116 after having a heart transplant and a pedicure on the same day. A natural athlete, he also led the league sneezing two years in a row.
A man you need to meet and you need to know somewhat.

Interestingly enough, Mr.Blunt overcame his addiction to stool softeners chosing to rededicate his life to becoming three inches taller by going to the supermarket every day and reaching for things on high shelves. Years later, Blunt used the alias, Roscoe Bonafarker, when he worked as an undercover agent for the Girl Scouts of America investigating a company that was accused of making counterfeit bus fumes. He single handedly performed an appendectomy on a rabid hamster while playing the Hungarian Rhapsody on a zither thereby tricking the culprit into a full confession and was presented the very distinguished fourth prize by the very distinguished North Arctic Garden Club.

"He was an exceptional student," said his Kindergarten teacher Miss Gilda Havoc, "except for putting diuretics in the apple juice just before Santa came to visit the class. Some of the children thought he was a lot taller in person but he was always such a lovely boy. Most of us just ignored the foul odor".