Remember me Reggie? I know it's been a while, but I saw that you made it back into the NBA, good for you. I can remember back in the 80s when you used to rub me gently and talk for hours about how you would be a better coach than Coach Russell. Sure you weren't setting the bar very high, but you made it man, you're realizing your dream. Good for you.

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(Insert haunting piano playing here)

There's been a lot of words used to describe this whole Donaghy revelation over the past couple days. A lot of people don't like to talk about it, but one of them is fear.

Fear that we've come this far since 2002, only to have all that baggage thrust upon us again. Fear that after 20+ years, the only person I've ever known to be responsible for protecting the integrity of the game, doesn't want my team to win. Fear that we never had a chance at the 2002 title because it wouldn't have been as profitable. That fear I've dealt with over time. I don't believe in the conspiracy. Because I know it's just the result of another fear.

Fear that my team will never win it all. Fear that our chance has passed us by. Fear that on top of all conspiracy theories we can throw out, that 2002 was never going to be our year. Fear that some evil ref wasn't responsible for the collapse of 2002, we are.

But me? I like the fear. It means that nobody's responsible for our destiny but us. Not a myriad of bad calls. Not a sinister edict from the commish to push the series to seven games. Not even the Mamba is responsible for our destiny. It's us. We had 53 minutes to get the job done at home. We couldn't do it. If we couldn't show up during the most important 5 minutes ever played at Arco Arena, then we didn't deserve that title.

One day I hope to be there when we do deserve it. Until that day when I get to shower my best friend with champagne as if we were in the locker room with the Kings, I embrace the fear. It may not mean we're close or ready, but at least I know by embracing it I've learned to take responsibility for my own actions. There can only be one. One day I hope it's us.