SB Nation User Blog: Muff209

E-Muss Dating Danyelle Sargent

Muff209 — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 21:13:27 -0000

E-Muss Dating Danyelle Sargent

I'm speechless. Nice pull Muss.

Regrow me Reggie

Muff209 — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:47:06 -0000

Remember me Reggie? I know it's been a while, but I saw that you made it back into the NBA, good for you. I can remember back in the 80s when you used to rub me gently and talk for hours about how you would be a better coach than Coach Russell. Sure you weren't setting the bar very high, but you made it man, you're realizing your dream. Good for you.

I know you haven't heard from me for a while, God knows we didn't part ways on the best of terms. But I didn't talk. Can you imagine if ESPN had been the unsatiable monster it is now back then? Skip Bayless probably would have loved it and said you had better wind resistance. Of course he would have been wrong, I only made you better stronger and sexier. Yet eventually you shunned me.

You're probably wondering what happened to me, it's been a while. Well, I've fallen upon some hard times old friend. I drink a lot without you. Mostly to fill that hole in my heart that used to say "Reg". I sat around reminicsing about the good times. Remember when we did coke off that stripper's ass? Man, you were rubbing me for days. Those were my happiest times Reg. So naturally I tried to recreate those times with others. You know, try and move on.

Unfortunately the only people who would give me a second look were gay guys and cops. You ever try to get a cop do do coke with you? And that was my first stint in prison. It helped a little bit. The structure, 3 square meals, yard time on weekends, warm showers...

After I got out it was hard to adjust to life back on the outside. I was broke, homeless, and jobless. Nobody wants to hire an ex-con. After a while I started giving people rides in exchange for a warm meal or a couch to sleep on. After a while I made the transition into porn. I finally felt like a big shot again. For the first time in years I was making thousands of people happy via their TVs. Then came the relapse. It started off innocently enough, just a bump during a wrap party. You know, to celebrate. Next thing I know I'm agreeing to do 2 gay scenes for an 8-ball.

After that it gets kinda hazy. Everything kinda blends together as I was in and out of prisons and halfway houses for the last couple years until a bartender gave me a pity job sweeping up the floor. That's when I saw you on TV, nice suit. You know what would compliment that suit perfectly? Me.

So what do ya say Reg? Wanna get the band back together? Come on man, regrow me Reggie. Regrow me.

Spencer Hawes' MySpace

Muff209 — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:08:38 -0000

Spencer Hawes' MySpace

This is borderline noteworthy until you see it. I'm not sure what the best part is, the signed photo of Laura and George Bush, the fact that he's a Harry Potter fan, the "dip til I rip" headline (someone's been hanging around Brad Miller), the fact that he's a republican athlete in Sac and apparently has yet to meet Arnold, or this picture. The collection of awkward posed photos with fans is also hilarious.

Give that man more minutes

Donté Greene Meet and Greet at the State Fair

Muff209 — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 18:21:02 -0000

Donté Greene Meet and Greet at the State Fair

Donté will be at the State Fair Saturday August 15th. Yes, I know today's the 15 and it's Friday. I'm just relaying what the Kings Myspace said.

Kings to play a presesaon game against the Clippers in Stockton

Muff209 — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 03:14:07 -0000

Kings to play a presesaon game against the Clippers in Stockton

Oct. 15th at the Spanos Center at UOP. Tickets go on sale on the 20th and Reggie's supposed to be on hand.

Chad Ford grades the draft

Muff209 — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:45:15 -0000

Chad Ford grades the draft

We got the second lowest grade (C-) behind Dallas (D, although it appears the Kidd trade affected the grade. So We're the worst out of teams who didn't make a desperation trade for the corpse of a once great PG.)

There can only be one. (Donaghy allegation version)

Muff209 — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:54:34 -0000

(Insert haunting piano playing here)

There's been a lot of words used to describe this whole Donaghy revelation over the past couple days. A lot of people don't like to talk about it, but one of them is fear.

Fear that we've come this far since 2002, only to have all that baggage thrust upon us again. Fear that after 20+ years, the only person I've ever known to be responsible for protecting the integrity of the game, doesn't want my team to win. Fear that we never had a chance at the 2002 title because it wouldn't have been as profitable. That fear I've dealt with over time. I don't believe in the conspiracy. Because I know it's just the result of another fear.

Fear that my team will never win it all. Fear that our chance has passed us by. Fear that on top of all conspiracy theories we can throw out, that 2002 was never going to be our year. Fear that some evil ref wasn't responsible for the collapse of 2002, we are.

But me? I like the fear. It means that nobody's responsible for our destiny but us. Not a myriad of bad calls. Not a sinister edict from the commish to push the series to seven games. Not even the Mamba is responsible for our destiny. It's us. We had 53 minutes to get the job done at home. We couldn't do it. If we couldn't show up during the most important 5 minutes ever played at Arco Arena, then we didn't deserve that title.

One day I hope to be there when we do deserve it. Until that day when I get to shower my best friend with champagne as if we were in the locker room with the Kings, I embrace the fear. It may not mean we're close or ready, but at least I know by embracing it I've learned to take responsibility for my own actions. There can only be one. One day I hope it's us.

I just felt like adding this picture of a hilariously awkward looking Shawes with an equally as...

Muff209 — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:56:48 -0000

I just felt like adding this picture of a hilariously awkward looking Shawes with an equally as awkward looking me. This is from Mike Bibby's Mix-N-Bowl in December

Fairly long post in which I somehow argue that Ron Artest is sane

Muff209 — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:35:15 -0000

For as long as I can remember, there have been a few undeniable basketball truths. The Kings will always need a rebounding big man. They will also always let a double digit lead shrink down to dangerous levels in the 4th quarter, even if they're playing the Grizzlies. The Jazz have the most ridiculous team name in relation to their city in all of sports. David Stern is pure evil. And Ron Artest is 86 different kinds of crazy. But after listening to Ron at length with Carmichael Dave for the past couple weeks I've come to a shocking conclusion. Ron Artest isn't crazy. Although I may be for thinking so.

I can't remember the moment I decided Ron Artest was crazy. Lots of people point to the brawl but I remember thinking he was insane long before then. So as a refresher I moseyed on over to Ron's Wikipedia page (and even refrained from adding a Peaches reference) to see what might have started the whole "Ron Artest is crazy" train of thought that's universally accepted as fact.

A quick scroll down to the "Controversy" section shows that maybe we're a bit too quick to judge a guy who appears to only really be guilty of not wanting to pay full price at Circuit City. (Oh, and that whole breaking the barrier between observer and participant at a game thing) The section lists the aforementioned employee discount attempt, that time he asked for time off because he was tired from his side job of music promoter, showing up to a Pacers practice in a bathrobe, destroying a TV camera, getting into a "confrontation" with Riles (the only "controversial" thing listed I can't immediately remember), all that stuff that happened here in Sac that I shouldn't have to rehash for you guys, and the fact that he likes to change his jersey number.

Maybe I'm just weird, but none of that screams "crazy" to me. Some of it screams "overly passionate". Some of it also screams (rather loudly too) "20 year old having fun". But almost all of it screams "We want Ron to be crazy." Let's break it down. (Using all circumstantial evidence since research isn't my forte.)

The biggie that most people refer to when putting him in the "definitely crazy" column is the brawl. I never really understood that. I understand that it's crazy when you stop and take a chance to think about all the reasons why he shouldn't have run into the crowd, but then I put myself in Ron's shoes. I'm playing a game and I'm fired up, adrenaline's flowing. I'm engaging in some quality shit talking from the comfort of a nearby table and then some jackass throws a beer at me. I'd have chased after and beaten the crap out of the guy I thought did it too. And that's before I even think about the fact that the guy wasted a whole beer! The brawl doesn't mean he's crazy, it just means he doesn't like drunken assholes throwing an entire cup of Coors at him. Neither do I.

The bathrobe and Circuit City thing really shouldn't count towards Ron being crazy because really they're just kind of funny. They also have questionable newsworthiness, yet somehow we still know about them.

The whole thing with his constantly changing jersey number isn't really that controversial either. It's his jersey, he can wear whatever number he wants as far as I'm concerned. Hell, have a different number each game. I doubt there's many parents who would be buying their kids the latest Ron Artest jersey in the first place.

And then we get to Ron in Sac. I don't fault him for the Socks thing because if memory serves me right (which probably isn't the best reference point) that happened during the season. So is it Ron's fault that the dogs didn't get fed or was it just his fault for picking the wrong people to do so? And as far as the domestic abuse thing, if I remember correctly (and again remember, puff puff pass) he actually came off as the sane person in that argument after his wife tried to tell the authorities that he was stealing her car...that he owned. So she responded as any sane woman (oxymoron, I know) would, by throwing a pot at her own car. Then Ron came back inside and stood right next to her while she completed her phone call. If he was crazy wouldn't he have tried to stop the phone call or something?

Neither of those things point to Ron being crazy. They point to a human being that makes mistakes. Just like you and me. (OK, mostly me.) Jim Rome once said that Charles Barkley once said "I'm not your role model, raise your own damn kids." And Chuck was right. I can't understand why we continue to put athletes on a pedestal. I'm not saying I don't do it myself, I just don't understand why. Whenever I'm having a spirited sports discussion at a bar (more often than not this bar) with a guy older than 50, the debate inevitably turns to how athletes were better and classier "back in my day". Racial overtones aside, I always disagree. The shit that's happening now is the same shit that's been going on for decades. You can probably already see where I'm going with this, and I promise I'll wrap up this rambling post in a minute, the problem lies with the way it's being reported. Ron loses his cool in probably the most public way possible, and after that he lost any benefit of the doubt. He was no longer Ron Artest "shutdown defender" he was Ron Artest "crazy asshole". It sucks, but it sells newspaper/commercials. But that doesn't justify it. The only argument I concede to the hypothetical old guy I referenced earlier is that athletes are different, but it's because they have to be different than back then. Everything they do is under a microscope. It's why guys like A-Rod, Kobe (Ah! How did I get into defending Kobe Bryant!?), and 90% of all athletes playing in Boston or New York seem like such standoffish assholes. They have to be or else any little thing they do, like showing up to practice in a bathrobe, helps label them as something the media can market to make money.

And that's why I (and apparently many others) find Ron's co-hosting stint on the late night shift so refreshing. My immediate reaction when I heard Ron on the radio was "holy crap, Ron's being himself" and then I waited for something he said to be blown out of proportion by ESPN, the Bee, or some blog (never here of course). Luckily it hasn't happened yet. After listening to him for a couple weeks I've come to two conclusions that really took me by surprise. First the whole Ron not being crazy thing. And second, Ron Artest is a likable guy. A really likable guy. Too bad nobody really gives the guy a chance because he got pissed when someone threw a beer at him. Now that I'm done making a point that I'm still not sure even I believe, time to point out all the actually crazy stuff I missed because I was going off of a smoke and booze addled memory and the bastion of journalistic integrity that is Wikipedia. Oh, and apologies for being absent the past month or so. Computer's broken.

Going to the game tonight. Want to sing at Peaches?

Muff209 — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:22:26 -0000

Alright guys, I heard this idea earlier this season. And since there's only 2 home games left and I'm going, I think it's time to implement it. It's time to sing "Peaches" by Presidents of the USA to Peaches. Let me know if you want to join in. Hopefully it's not just me.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/presidents+of+the+usa/peaches_20110593.html