SB Nation User Blog: Murcy

Marvel Comics Presents: The Phoenix S.U.N.S.!!!!

Murcy — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:39:16 -0000

On a recent visit to the Marvel HQ, our agents have been able to uncover a brand new comic on it's way! all of the heroes and villains in it seemed somewhat familiar, and yet, at the same time, they felt like they were strangers. Still, allow me to present our findings to you: the new comic, titled:

The Phoenix Force Series, part -1:

Superheroes' Ultimate Non-plus-ultra Squad (abbreviated: S.U.N.S.)

(note: you probably need to know the Marvel Comic Universe at least somewhat well to find the post funny, or even worth reading)

Members of the team:

Col. Steve Kerry:

This old-time hero was born withour superpowers, but always had special things to give while active, and that made him an important part of two dominant earlier superhero squads, where his long-range sniper skills were extremely useful, in fact, he once saved the world against a group of Mormon supervillains. He is now wearing an eye-patch as a result of battles of old. There was some confusion when he took over the operation which was well underway for a few years, even suspicion of treachery, and many people cited that he used to be part of a superhero-team-turned-evil. However, in the last 21 issues, most of these suspicions have been cnfirmed to be false. His greatest fault was probably trying to incorporate the half-Irish, half Afro-American superhero, the Big Cactus into the team which then showed lack of cooperation and felt their integrity was seriously compromised. Since then, this mistake has been revoked, and the Big Cactus is now wondering some distant universe.

if you are interested in the REAL superheroes on the team, read on!

Professor Charlvin Xentry:

He is no longer able to fight on the battlefield, but is an excellent tactician and a great motivator. He also had extensive training seving under Dr S'Trange, Moustacher Supreme, and for a while, back in his youth, even served the same evil organisation as Colonel Kerry, under the tutelage of the evil Gregg Doomovich. His powers allow him to control other team's minds, and force into fighting in a much faster way than they usually prefer.

Passwerine (real name: Steve Nash):

A very gifted mutant, he acts as the team's field leader. He has multiple powers, such as slowed aging process, which helps him conserve his powers, enhanced, superhuman senses, which allow him to see out of his back, and pass to the ball from Toronto to Phoenix and shoot threes while fighting crocodiles. He has been taken into the Squad as a young, fledgling superhero, but after receiving mixed reviews on the first danger room courses, he left the Squad, and joined the team of supervillains gathering around the drunkard mad scientist known as Dr Ginister, whose alias has been revealed to be Don Nelson. There he met the superpowered human, Herr Zreepointer, and the two maintained a friendship ever since, despite the villains breaking up. (by the way, Herr Zreepointer re-formed the team with the help of an evil midget from Hell, and almost conquered the world, before they were stopped by the extra-terrestrial being, The Flash and a few humans. who were mysteriously called 'The Referees'.) Since coming back, he has been the leader of the Squad

Supreme Trashing Armored Tank [STAT] (real name: Amar'e Stoudamire):

This, supremely talented mutant, is a hothead killing machine. His sole aim is to destroy all supervillains, however he usually only thinks of the obvious way: shooting. He is not the best choice for bodyguard, as he often simply forgets to defend the person he is supposed to. However, despite his weaknesses, when he is turned on, he can SMASH like only an overgrown, green superhero from another comic can.

Sun of a Gun [Also known as Dunkman] (real name: Jason Richardson):

His mutant abilities first surfaced in kindergarten, when he jumped onto a pole which was 539 feet away from him. He has similar mentality to Supreme Trashing Armored Tank and the two also possess similar powers, although Sun of a Gun is also a superb long-range archer. He has been known to hit enemies with multiple arrows right after each other, often shooting 3 arrows at a time, and usually at least 2.

Twit Man (real name: Jared Dudley):

Dudley was born without any superpowers, or mutant abilities. However, he admired MacGyver as a kid, and at the age of 6, construected a steal-and-layup combination from two lego bricks, a bar of soap and his 6th finger which he had to cut off to do it. Since then, he has come up with an abundance of useful items, and since moving to the Squad, invented hiw special armor, which is covered in glue, and allows him to simply stick to his opponent. He can also, as a result of genetic experiments made by the Squad, extend his arms to 34 feet long and steal the weapons of the enemies.

Mr Fryetastic (real name: Channing Frye):

As a result of gamma ray exposition, Frye posseses extra long arms and legs, yet, for some strange reason, his body did not grow sideways, so now he looks like a pole with arms and legs. However, since he was 4' 4" tall before it, he maintained his quickness and, like most of the team, has killer ability from long range.

Blur (real name: Leandro Barbosa):

This mutant from Brazil has been gifted with supernatural speed. He usually runs circles around supervillains before they could react. Many people saw him as a possible second-in-command to Nashverine, but, as it turned out, when he is using his superpowers, he can't see other members of the Squad correctly, which makes him unable to direct them well enough. He is still a very good weapon. Right now, he is recovering from a bad injury, suffered a few fights ago against a team of Werewolves.

Furry Fury (real name: Robin Lopez):

He is a long-time descendant of Samson of the Bible, and much like him, has his powers in his hair and beard. A young superhero only learning the ropes of the profession, the Squad hopes he can become a man to battle the likes of Hulkoward and Bynumaut. He has shown flashes of being able to do it, but often becomes a reliabilty against seasoned villains.

Well, these were the characters that we managed to see in the midst of the night. If you are interested in reading more about them, or want to get to know the other heroes and villains in the upcoming comic, leave your opinion in the comments!

one more thing: we also found out, that, while at first sight, the Squad's weakness seem to be villains dressed in purple and gold, we can assure you that in the final fight, the good guys win.

Yeah, being the underdog is nice... but we're good!

Murcy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:44:14 -0000

For the last two unholy, dark years, drowning under the murderous pressure of the Shaqzilla, the Suns were falling down into deeper and deeper pits, searching for an identity (any identity), looking for a coach, trying desperately to convince all fans that our second-best player is a useless pile of crap (and often succeeded), while experts raved on and on about the ancient roster we have (just imagine: a whole TWO players over 30! while granted, they ARE key players, this still smells a bit fishy). Steve Kerr was to be crucified by everybody expect (occasionaly) Stan, J-Rich was called the son of Satan (more or less), we had no foreseeable draft picks for the next 429 years and we were looking at the lottery for the first time in years.

And then came an eventful summer, in which we had the most glouriously rememberd MUST START LB-forum war (am I the only one who finds that so extremely hilarious), the Summer League which

did not go so well, Tucker proving time and again that despite being our little favourite, - of whom we believed that given the time would morph into the archenemy of Kobe Bryant and doctor Doom at the same time - that he does not belong on the Team's roster, capped off by the worse-brother collection (Collins, Lopez, Griffin... I hope LeBron has a younger brother with say, 70 % of his talents) and the signing of Channing Frye. Now, just like with Dudley, not many people knew what we were getting. Yes, he's long, thin, was buried in the basketball hell that is the contemporary Knicks, and then was a pine-rider in the OMG WE HAVE THE BEST YOUNG TEAM, SUCKAZ! Blazers (who are in for a rude awakening next year by OKC), and then came over here. I knew from a few years back that he was a nice shooter and had a crazy blog (way better than Agent Ego's), but did not expect that he was the second coming of pre-2006 Dirk (really: loads of 3s, nice shooting touch, 6-7 rbs, few blocks, bad defense, thin frame, good in a fast system...).

And then came THE SEASON! We started off nicely, but cautious optimism was maintained because we've beaten bad teams, and then even worse teams. We had a few bad losses, to the nice group of guys in Florida, and to the Monsters and Agents of Evil, that the unnamble, horrific, (and, sadly: awesomely good) Los Angeles ~~Ponders~~, ~~Swimming Poolers~~, Lakers. But, we have beaten the Celtics, the Heat, and many other teams in between, trouncing a few of them, like Detroit on Sunday.

We have a tough schedule coming up, and we suprised a lot of people, experts, other team's fans and our fans alike, but that doesn't change the fact that we have the best record in the NBA. This is not pure chance or luck: the team is good enough to lead the league after 14 games, or one-sixth of the season. We don't have to fear going into any game. We have to respect other teams of course - but we are as good as any of them. As long as the team is playing up to their potential and their ability, we can hang with The Lakers, Nuggets, Celtics, Magic, X-Men, Batman and Robin and so on. We are not underdogs anymore, other teams are out toget us, but we can say that, once again, the Suns are one of the most important and best teams of the Association. YAY!

ps: all the exaggerations were deliberate.

Poll

so, are we for real, or should I shut up with my crap which only I find humorous?

the Team's great, you suck!

10 votes

the Team's great, the post was funny/insightful enough

32 votes

Both suck, this start is an illusion

3 votes

Me want cookies! OM NOM NOM

13 votes

58 votes | Poll has closed

Predictions for the rest of the season

Murcy — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 09:17:15 -0000

I looked through the schedule at NBA.com and calculated a little based on opponents, fatigue, and mostly, gut feeling. Thus, I came up with my prediction for the rest of the season. I divided up the rest of the season into four parts, each ending with a game against a really good team. It is imortant to note that we have played less games than most teams have, so we have a looong schedule ahead of us, especially with the Suns not playing unti lthe 7th of January. I don't get into predictions about trades or anything, just Ws and Ls, nor give any indication of how I got the result, because it's just what I felt, but I though you might be interested, so here it is:

From Jan 7. - 19.
vs Indiana W
vs Dallas W
@ Clippers W
vs Atlanta W
@ Denver L
vs Minnesota W
@ Toronto W
@ Boston L
So that's 6-2 in the first part

From Jan 21 - Feb 11
@ NY W
@ Charlotte W
@ Atlanta L
@ Washington W
vs Sterns L
vs Chicago W
vs Sacramento W
@ Golden State W
vs Golden State W
@ Detroit W
@ Philly L
@ Cleveland L
8-4 in this part, 14-6 overall

Feb 17 - Mar 12
vs Clippers W
@Clippers W
vs OKC W
vs Boston W
vs Charlotte W
@ Fakers L
vs Toronto W
vs Fakers W
@ Orlando L
@ Miami L
@ Houston L
@ Sterns W
vs Dallas W
vs Cleveland L
The final part of this is brutal, but still, the whole part is 9-5 making it 23 -11 overall

Mar 14 - Apr 15 The final month of the Regular Season
vs OKC W
@ GS W
vs Philly L
vs Washington W
vs Denver L
vs Utah W
@ Portland W
@ Utah W
@ Sacramento W
vs Houston W
vs Sacramento W
@ Dallas W
@ NO L
@ Memphis L
@ Minnesota W
vs Memphis W
vs GS W
The final part of the schedule is not too bad, I think we can go 13-4, 36-15 and finish the season at 55-27 somewhere around 3rd-4th in the West.

So, what do you think, any opinions, differences, what-the-hell-was-this comments?
peace

Hornets to play themselves

Murcy — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:12:34 -0000

Hornets to play themselves

check this out, great stuff over at BSotS... good luck against us, NOH!

Once upon a time there was a guy named Jerryd Bayless

Murcy — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:09:17 -0000

But whatever happened to him? I figure it would be the best to ask you guys, seeing how you are the "real" Blazers fans I just kinda like the team ever since Rasheed has been here.

So, after summer league and preseason I was really excited about Bayless, he seemed perfect to play with Roy as Roy can handle the ball really well, and with the offense flowing through him, plus Oden and LMA occupying the inside defenders, Bayless could penetrate as much as he wants to. But then games came and games went and he is nowhere to be seen... What is Nate waiting for? Really, I'd love to hear what you think about him, his value with the team and why the hell he is not playing... of course Rudy has been fantastic, but still, Bayless should get some more time in my opinion.

ps.: as i am in Europe i don't get to watch many games, so he might have been horrible in the few minutes he got... if so, sorry for the whole post.

Poll

What would you do with bayles?

Trade him and his potential plus Raef's expiring for an upper-level PG

24 votes

Have him play about 10-15 minutes a night to see how he fits in

54 votes

Insert him into the starting lineup

7 votes

Make him 6.-7.-8. man

11 votes

96 votes | Poll has closed

Outlaw for Conley?

Murcy — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 10:18:36 -0000

Hey guys I just found this VERY interesting article:

http://www.thememphisedge.com/2008/08/25/griz-moves-on-the-horizon/

it's basically about a trade of Outlaw for Conley jr. This would allow the Blazers to move Fernandez to the starting SF position and thus give him enough playing time, allowing Bayless to play the second unit's combo guard/SG which would be run by Blake, plus get the Blazers another very good, young prospect, who is a great buddy of Oden. What do you think?

Offseason trade ideas

Murcy — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:56:10 -0000

So, I think we all agree that this should be a busy offseason for the Nuggets (or am I the only one thinking that?), but what should the team do? Our greatest need for the current team if PG but we won't get a good enough one unless we trade a top-tier starter or if the draft fairy works her magic, but that is risky around #20. About

the PGs that are on the table:

TJ Ford: no, no, no, no!!!! we already have a much much much better version in AI and TJ is frighteningly injury-prone. and we don't have a player the raps really need, namely a slashing, shooting SG who we could trade.

Chauncey Billups: well, this is one idea that makes me think really hard. Dumars wants to blow up the pistons' core and there MAY be a trade available in which we get Prince and Billups for Anthony. Of course this all hinges on: a) does Denver want to trade Anthony? and b) is this rumour true? With those two players we could change into a slower paced, more defensive minded team, with AI nevertheless running, gunning, slashing, and generally wrecking havoc. for evidence that this can work: see the Heat back in their championship season.

Free Agents who might be intriguing:

Carlos Arroyo: he would be a nice PG who could distribute the ball well, and sometimes score some points, like Steve Blake did. Of course, once again this does not solve our problems, as he is NOT the ideal starting PG for an elite NBA team.

Other random trade ideas regardless of position:

We should trade either Nene or K-Mart. The bulls really really need an inside scorer like Martin, and we really need a PG (whoops this goes back to the previous topic). The salaries do not match, so, throw in Sefolosha and Gooden, and we give Chucky Atkins. This would hand us: a young, promising, defensive minded (!!!! on this team !!!) swingman, a solid post player with an expiring deal, and a good point guard who had a down year, but has the makings to be way better. of course the bulls would be kinda foolish to do this, but if the draft Rose and run, then they could really use Martin.