April 11th is our first regular season game against the Red Sux. I personally do not care if we win or lose this game. The only thing I want to see happen is a basebrawl. I have seen the Halos clear the benches before, but never against teams that we've needed to stand up to. Maybe we've never had a team like that until now. But, I truly believe that some of the scuffles the Rays and Sux got into last year threw Boston off and gave the young Tampa Bay team confidence and toughness. We have a young team and last I heard, Johnny Gomes was still on the market. We should sign him for the sole purpose of teaching our guys how to throw down.

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April 30th is our first match up against the Yankees. I don't necessarily want to see a basebrawl in this one, but if it happens, so be it. I think the first pitch thrown to the new Yank first basemen should be thrown AT him. Not because he didn't sign with us. Not because he lead our organization on for months. Not because he only cared about his paycheck. Hell, I don't even want the guy to get injured. Hit him in the leg or something. The point is to show the rest of the league/sports world that "we don't take no mess."

Tex will most likely act like his feelings are hurt. He'll probably innocently tell the media after the game that he thought he was friends with a lot of the guys on the Angels team. Our players and coaches will also be interviewed and asked about the intentional beaning. Here's how I'd like that exchange to go.

Reporter: Mike did you order Lackey to throw at Teixiera in the first inning? Was that a planned attack?

Scioscia: "The only comment I have regarding that pitch is that We don't take no mess."

Reporter is confused and decides he should ask the same question to a player.

Reporter: Torii, was the pitch thrown at Teix on purpose?

Hunter: "I thought I told you...we don't take no mess!"

After asking several other players similar questions and getting the same answer, reporter realizes that the Angels are a unified baseball team that doesn't accept mess from anyone. Including teams with bigger budgets and high profile players.

I'll end this by saying that I am totally aware that this is unrealistic. One of the reasons why I love the Angels so much is that we are a classy  organization with players who play the game the right way. And this type of behavior is totally out of character for them. But just because our team is called the Angels doesn't mean we have to act like angels. Here's to hoping for a few angry faced home runs, some basebrawls, and to being rabid underdogs in 2009.

Top 3 players I want beaned by an Angel pitcher:

1. Mark Teixieira

2. Jonathan Paplebon (going to have to wait and sucker punch him when he runs out of the pen.)

3. GG Allin aka Kevin Youkolis (props to the person who first called him GG on this site. Striking resemblance.)

share your top 3.