SB Nation User Blog: Nick

I'm Waiting for AN

Nick — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:00:33 -0000

I was really jonesing last night.

Original lyrics here .

I'm waiting for AN

Hitting "reload" again and again.

Surf down to Twinkie Town , watch bottom-5

Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive.

I'm waiting for AN.

Hey A's fan, what you doing in our Town ?

Hey A's fan, you trollin' our threads around?

Oh, pardon me sir, it's furthest from my mind

I'm just looking for some NRAFs of mine.

I'm waiting for AN.

Here it comes, it's dressed in Green and Gold

A big baseball, that looks like a globe.

No game thread up, cuz it's always late

First thing you learn is that you always have to wait

I'm waiting for AN.

Next morning's game wrap, read what baseballgirl says,

Comments all yellow, but you don't care

Hit z or c-x, get your sweet taste

Then you gotta split before the workday's just a waste

I'm waiting for AN.

Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you ball and shout

I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out

I'm feeling good, I'm feeling oh so fine,

'Til my DSL goes down and I can't get online

I'm waiting for AN.

The Danny Trade: Billy's musical lament

Nick — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:38:25 -0000

Everyone knows how emotional Billy Beane is, despite his cold-hearted reputation. Reliable sources tell me that a plaintive tenor was heard singing this tune this afternoon at the Coliseum...

Oh Danny Boy, the Diamondbacks are calling,
From Bay to Desert, for 6 prospects fine,
The summer's gone, and all our starters falling,
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come you back, when Gaudin's on his rehab stint,
Or when our ace is Lenny DiNardo,
For I'll be here, on my treadmill of sorrow,
Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

But when ye come, and all the A's are injured,
If we're in last, as sucky we may be,
Ye'll come and find 4th place, where we are lying,
And kneel and say an Ave there for me.

And I shall hear, though chair a'throwin' I shall be,
And though our hopes of Fremont hazy be,
And if you bend, and tell me that you love me,
Then I shall sleep in peace til Cisco Field I see.

[sniff!]

Original lyrics here.

And a performance that speaks for all of us...

Nick's monkeyball rip-off

Nick — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 01:53:42 -0000

"A true artist is known not by the art he creates, but by the art he inspires."

What a profound statement that is. And I should know -- I just made it up.

Monkeyball's latest Dylanesque creation about a disgruntled A sent to Sacramento inspired me to pen (keyboard?) my own tale of a Rivercat whose dreams of returning to Oakland were cruelly thwarted.

Original lyrics and live performance.

"Idiot Wind" by Brad Halsey.

Someone’s got it in for me, they’re planting stories in the Chron,
Whoever it is I wish they’d cut it out quick, because I really have a sore arm,
They say I skipped an MRI and bitched about the training staff
They held me back to call me up, but Billy was just havin’ a laugh
I can’t help it, if I’m pissy.

Coaches see me all the time and they just can’t remember how I throw
They’re tellin’ me that it’s just muscle stiffness, and if I tough it out I’m goin’ to the Show.
Even you, yesterday you had to ask me if I threw slow or fast
I couldn’t believe after all these years, you don’t know my repertoire better than that,
Sweet Billy.

Idiot wind, blowing every time you make a deal
Blowing down the roads to Raley Field.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you curse and yell
You’re an idiot, babe, it’s a wonder you can even spell DL.

I ran into my agent who said beware of hangers in the zone of strike,
I haven’t known the majors for so long I can’t remember what it’s like.
There’s a lone starter on the mound, smoke pouring out of the bullpen cart
You didn’t know it, you didn’t think it could be done, with the final pitch he won all his starts,
After losing his spot in the rotation.

I woke up in Sacramento, daydreaming ‘bout the way things sometimes are,
Visions of your injured staff shoot through my head and are makin’ me see stars.
You hurt my arm, which I love best, and cover up the truth with lies.
One day you’ll be in last place, your mom and pop team chasin’ Wash’s guys
20 games under .500.

Idiot wind, blowing through your empty bleacher stands,
Blowing over drunken Raider fans.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you curse and yell
You’re an idiot, babe, it’s a wonder you can even spell DL.

It was Larry Davis who pulled me down, and overuse which broke me apart.
I tamed the slider that I threw, but it wasn’t enough for a major league start.
Now everything is a little upside down, as a matter of fact my starts have stopped.
Who’s up is down, who's down is up, you’ll find out when I shut you out
Pitching for Seattle.

I noticed on the postgame show, your corrupt ways had finally made you blind.
I can’t remember your face anymore, your mouth has changed, your eyes don’t look into mine.
The ump wore blue in the 7th inning stretch and sat stone faced while I struck guys out,
I waited for you in the locker room, near the water cooler while the Southwest plane
Left for Baltimore.

Idiot wind, blowing like an A’s cap round my skull
From Yankee Stadium to Pac Bell
Idiot wind, blowing every time you curse and yell
You’re an idiot, babe, it’s a wonder you can even spell DL

I can’t feel you any more, I can’t touch the Rivercats cap on my head
Every time I step on your mound, I been wishin’ I pitched somewhere else instead.
Down the highway, down the tracks, down the road to Kansas City
I followed you on the internet, hounded by a big league memory
And the minimum salary.

I been double crossed now for the very last time and I hope now I’m getting out of Hell,
I kissed goodbye to the howling beast that separates Oakland from the PCL.
You’ll never know the hurt I suffered, nor the pain that I pitch through
I’ll never know your frustration, that Harden can never make more than two
Starts in succession.

Idiot wind, blowing through my Majors service time,
Blowing through the contracts that we signed.
Idiot wind, blowing through whichever lineup plays
We’re idiots, babe, it’s a wonder we even know how to spell "A’s."

Weekend link dump 4/7-8

Nick — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 21:04:52 -0000

Wow, I guess everyone stayed up late waiting for Vlad's homer to come down. So it's down to me to post the link dump before sundown (Eastern Time).

SuSlu reports on Calero's early-season problems (and yes, he had a short warm-up in Game 2, though he won't blame the Yuniesky blast on that).

Meanwhile, Paul Byrd, (he of the 4.32 career ERA and 1.313. career WHIP) was threatenting to throw a no-hitter yesterday. Luckily, the Baseball Gods, anxious to avoid the Apocalypse that would ensue from from that accomplishment, intervened and caused a snowstorm to cancel the game 1 strike before the no-hitter would have become official. Accusation of deliberate delays by our friendly rivals up north flew as thick as the snowflakes. Harbinger-of-the-End-Times and bad-luck starter Byrd was still hot after the game:

Byrd, who did not allow a hit in his 4 2/3 innings, said he was so mad that he felt like throwing a chair across the locker room.

Unnamed sources say that the Rangers are expressing interest in trading for Byrd to shore up their bullpen.

A's' players continue to drop like flies (in front of Bobby Kielty). The Contra Costa Times headlined their injury update, "Bradley Scratched With Soreness in Right Side" -- when asked why the A's had scratched their CF's side when he had complained of soreness, not of itching, A's trainer Larry Davis refused to comment.

Bobby Crosby, of course, made it through the 7th before being put up on blocks by Service Department Manager Bob Geren. Geren wouldn't estimate when the Crozmobile might be up and running again:

Manager Bob Geren was unable to shed much light on Crosby's injury after the game, but he noted that it wasn't in the same area that cost Crosby much of last season.

"He's obviously disappointed," Geren said, "but [lifting him was] more of a precautionary thing."

Oh, and for those of you who've been asking, "Do they put farm-animal pornography on the internet?" here is your answer -- piggie porn! Warning: AN will not be held responsible for email lists you find yourself on if you click the link on the right of the piggie page (insert your own "spam" joke here).

Now...Dump Away!!

A Hymn for the Postseason

Nick — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 16:59:06 -0000

Now that they've officially clinched, I think the A's need an inspirational hymn that they can sing in the clubhouse before every game, to build unity and focus and to honor the great and powerful Woofing Gods.

Here are my suggested lyrics (original is available here):

And Did Those Cleats

And did those cleats in ancient time
Run across Oakland's outfield green?
And did the steeley Voice of God
Announce the lineups, true and keen?

And did the Countenance Divine
Assemble teams of grace and skill?
And did he curse and throw his chair
Upon his dark, satanic treadmill?

Bring me my glove of burning gold!
Bring me my high socks of desire!
Bring me my rebar -- o, clouds unfold!
Bring me my unicorn of fire!

I will not cease from grit and fight
Nor shall my bat sleep in my hand
'Til we have won a World Series
'Neath Oakland's green, tarped-over stands!

(I posted an earlier version of this in a comment on the Game 24 thread, though it was on a slightly different topic. Hell, if Wordsworth can revise the Prelude, I figure I can tinker with this).

AN -- the Shocking Truth!

Nick — Mon, 29 Aug 2005 00:43:06 -0000

Since the founding of Athletics Nation, we've all believed Blez's story about the origins of our commuity. To quote the blogmaster himself:

I started the site in November 2003 after several long drives to Los Angeles listening to KNBR-680.

But is this quaint little story really...a myth? Or worse -- a "cover story" for a heinous plot that reaches back into the depths of time and reveals the betrayal of the Nation?

See the shocking truth! Incontrovertible evidence connecting AN to a plot by...the despised Death Star from the Bronx!!!

Blez claims that AN was founded in 2003. But then what was Babe Ruth, star outfielder of the NY Yankees doing shaking the hand of a player wearing an AN uniform during a 1934 barnstorming tour by American players in Japan?

Here are the questions that Blez needs to answer:

If AN was founded in 2003, why was AN fielding a team nearly 70 years beforehand?
Why is this AN player publicly consorting with a member of the NY Yankees?
Who really founded AN, what was AN doing during the "underground years" between 1934 and 2003, and how did Blez come to control this ever-growing empire?
When, oh when, will AN learn the truth about our origins?

Babe Ruth -- you're not my father! You're not my father!

*this picture is real -- it appeared on page D-2 of the Philadelphia Inquirer on Saturday, August 27, 2005.

Poll

What are the Babe and "AN" shaking on?

An agreement not to try for extra bases when the Babe is busy eating a hot dog in right field.

22 votes

The Babe has just won the "all-Japan high socks visitor" title of 1934.

22 votes

Selling the soul of the Athletics Nation to the Bronx Bombers. No, Morihei Blezinski, don't do it!!!

22 votes

66 votes | Poll has closed

Inspired by monkeyball

Nick — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:41:32 -0000

First, I want to nominate monkeyball as poet laureate of AN. And as part of my festschrift diary, I submit the following sonnets.

Note: monkeyball only had to smoke some opium to get into the mood. I had to contract tuberculosis.

Steinbrenner

I met a traveler, a Yankees' fan,
Who said, "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the Bronx, near them, by the stands
Half-sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that the sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Boss Steinbrenner, King of Kings!
Look on my team, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level stands stretch far away."

On First Looking Into Lewis's "Moneyball"

Much have I traveled in the green and gold
And many goodly teams and players seen.
Round many Western titles have I been
Which players in fealty to the A's did hold.
Oft of one great GM had I been told
Whom deep-browed Sandy hired to his demesne
But never did I taste his pure serene
Til I heard Lewis speak out loud and bold.
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When Chavy's homer swims into his ken,
Or like stout Macha, when with eagle eyes
He stared at diving Kendall, and all his men
Looked as each other with a wild surmise,
Silent, upon a field in Arlington.

Mitchell Page Lands on His Feet

Nick — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 04:11:38 -0000

A few weeks ago we were discussing the fate of former A's outfielder Mitchell Page, the Hitting Rage.

He was the Cardinals' hitting coach for the last 3 seasons but was let go after the World Series. Page was fired because of his alcoholism, and a number of us were concerned about his future.

I noticed in this morning's transactions listing in the newspaper that he's been hired by the Nationals as a "hitting coordinator," which I think means a roving hitting instructor.

Here is the story. Good to see him catching on so fast with another team and dealing so responsibly with his alcoholism.

Thinking WAY outside the box

Nick — Sun, 19 Dec 2004 02:16:54 -0000

What if Beane is downsizing the rotation?

I'm really stunned by the Mulder trade. Not angry, not hurt, just completely surprised. When I logged on it was about the last thing I thought I'd read.

I fully admit now that I probably have no idea what Beane is cooking up. But given that the unbelievable has already taken place over the last few days, I'm going to float some irresponsible speculation, because it's more likely to be true than anything reasonable.

We've all been discussing the new Moneyball market inefficiency scheme. And it's obvious that the market for starting pitching is just exploding. I think Beane realizes that it's virtually impossible for the A's to compete in the open market for even decent starters in today's environment.

So here's the speculation: what if trading 2 of the Big 3, acquiring a bullpen full of relievers, and talking up Street and Garcia means that the A's are planning on converting to a 4-man rotation next year? Here would be the justifications:

As Earl Weaver said, it's easier to find 4 good pitchers than to find 5. It's also a hell of a lot cheaper. You cut the cost of your rotation by probably 12-15% of the starters' payroll in one fell swoop.
The A's now have a lot of talented relievers: Cruz, Calero, Dotel (for now), Street and Garcia waiting in the wings, Duke for long relief. There's speculation that they'll move Byrnes and Bradford to SD for Payton and Otsuka. That's a hell of a lot of potential quality bullpen innings.
The 5th starter is useless in the postseason. It's very hard for a limited budget team to invest precious resources in a player who plays an important role during the regular season and then becomes totally irrelevant in the postseason.
The 4-man requires healthy starters -- and guess what Beane has done: he's traded the two guys who've been hurt every year and kept the one guy, Zito, who's been healthy. One way to keep the starters healthy, of course, is to give them somewhat shorter outings. Last year's bullpen was completely incapable of giving that kind of support to the starters. The 2005 and 2006 bullpen is shaping up to be a different story.
Now, I'm really reaching here, but Beane might also be seeing the BALCO revelations as a watershed in how baseball is played. If you assume that (a) a pretty significant number of hitters are bulking up with steroids, and (b) a new testing regime will significantly reduce the number of players who use steroids, then (c) we might be on the verge of an end to the Dinger Era. And the more we return to lighter hitting lineups, the less stress a starter faces in each start. One of the reasons that pitchers used to be able to throw 300 innings a season was that hitters weren't as good (and ballparks were bigger, and bats were heavier, but I'll leave that for a different discussion). Even when you were facing, say, the 1983 AL West Champion White Sox, who won the division by 20 games, you got to face the Jerry Dybzinski-Vance Law-Mike Squires-Julio Cruz part of the order (I checked, those guys were starters at their positions), and that didn't exactly make your starter work his hardest. And the White Sox led the Major Leagues in runs scored that year. These days, everyone hits homers and pitchers always have to bear down. Beane might see this beginning to change, thus lightening the burden on the starters and making the 4-man a realistic plan again. It also might explain our suspicious lack of a 40-HR guy in the lineup...

So there you have it. I freely admit that I have absolutely no hard evidence that Beane is planning this. But at this point why should I assume that Beane is doing anything based on conventional wisdom? I think Beane may well be planning on giving Harden and Zito 40 starts each this season -- that's half of our games started by Cy Young and Cy Old -- and filling out the other 82 with some combination of Blanton, Meyer, and Haren. Limit the CGs, keep them below 275 innings, and see how it works out.

Poll

Will the A's use a 4-man rotation next year?

Quite possible -- desperate times call for desperate measures.

8 votes

Oh, so THAT'S what Beane is up to!

2 votes

Finally, the 4-man is back! Harden and Zito and 2 days of meat-o!

4 votes

What are you smoking, Nick, and can I have some?

21 votes

Could be -- who the hell knows at this point?

27 votes

62 votes | Poll has closed