Well!  Am I having a new ‘estimation of OBNUG nation’ (?) than I ever had before?  Yes!  What is that all important dissonance tuning me in to the subtle wavelengths of betterment?  That, all trolls are not necessarily trollish.  I now know that “Troll profiling” is actually a brand of bigotry of sorts, I guess—and that is just residual southern thinking on my part…stupid southern thinking!  Little did I ever entertain that in my attempts to entertain OBNUGgies I would encounter troll-huggers!  Who knew?!  Equally astonishing was that I would receive admonishment that my jesting was even at serious risk of being taken seriously, in part or parcel; and me with my “legal” disclaimer no less!  I am always glad for finding new things to learn, even when they are like castor oil.  If it’s good for me then I must be happy it’s being given to me, whether it tastes good or not, right?

Conformity to the holy rules of grammar and syntax was also underscored as mandatory part of the OBNUGgery literary style.  Rules are rules, eh?  Unbreakable and unrelenting, but for our own good.  Just like the APA requires accurate picture placement, semi-colon use, and 1” margins.  Structure ousts content!  Yay structure!  Lastly, there was also some indication of deficient intellectual ability.  Point taken!  I now publically admit that I have had 22 years of formal education in my life, some forced, most voluntary.  I don’t know why, except that I am somehow un-smart enough to warrant such continued remedial “higher education”.  I now see the standards and laws by which a certain recreational (i.e., non-professional) troll-hunter will be held to, whether anyone else will or not is beside the point.  Great day!

I cannot wait until all of these newfound expedient implications open new virtual vistas for me.  One such might be that poaching kindly trolls (oxy-moron?) is a sensitive area for certain uber-animal friendly OBNUGgites.  Trolls and troll-lovers should be respected, and cared for, and honored, crowned king, etc.  So, regarding the OBNUGgie huggie who so clearly holds the key to all things of sacred enlightenment… I will love him and pet him and hold him and carry him and play with him, and call him George, and…

                However, those rebuttal blogs have been very instructional for me.  I can see transferable implications in other areas of life as well.  For example, I can now better appreciate the predicament found within the similar issues surrounding the wolf (see what I did there? nevermind).  The avid hunter is constrained from all out assault on the wolf because that’s what led historically to them being placed on the endangered species list.  The outlying populace wants the wolf around because it symbolizes the magnificence and grandeur of nature, the raw excitement of basic survival, and the endowment of a supernatural spirit.  The trade and industry side of the argument is represented by the porcine, bovine, and ovine herd owners.  These folks are less entranced by such lofty attributes, preferring instead practical solutions of backyard eradication to protect their incomes and knee-biting generations to come.  What does the wolf want?  Who knows?  It’s a wolf.  No one can divine what a wolf is thinking.  All that can be inferred is by painstaking scientific field observation of its behavior, or Hollywood.

Here at OBNUG, we have the rare privilege of having our very own endangered lupine apparition to observe and infer from… share inferences about… discuss amongst ourselves (see?  nothing dangling here!).  This rare beast slinks in and out of the OBNUG lodgeapost forest, leaving scent trails, scat, prints, and tufts to verify that our territory may not be as safe and secure as we’d like to think it is.  From more than just his bowels, the quiet peaceful dell of OBNUG is subjected to his sudden howls and growls.  That makes us quiver, or at least curious as to why the ruckus.  Being natural-born-huggers, far be it from OBNUG to hunt, poach, or bait our visitor out of existence.  Just like Two Socks enjoyed, we’d prefer to hand feed this wolf some prairie-cured bacon.  After all, he looks so demure, so diffident, so modest, so …sheepish.  Surely he wouldn’t do us any harm, right?  Well, let’s just stretch out our fingers and try to feed him,  Surely a non-threatening gesture if there ever was one.  Here’s to you, Mr…

Continue reading this post »

Well readers…here’s the second installment of NTG.  In all good conscience, I can’t overlook the unexpected embrace given by some OBNUGgies to MR…TOADMAN in the last issue—wonders will never cease to amaze (for reals players?).  So, I won’t attempt to avoid the protectionism already tendered towards today’s troll opposing gladiator, especially since in the last week he has brightened his tone, considerably…dang!  I just ask that you keep the Disclaimer* in mind as well as the point that the expounding below can easily be compressed into fewer and simpler terms, but it wouldn’t be near as novel, or time-consuming until the next live Bronco game.  So, in case you haven’t yet connected the dots that I probably spent way too much attention absorbing the humor and twisted genius of the writers from MAD magazine and the Daily Show…I offer for your entertainment and thumbastic judgment…

Continue reading this post »

In an attempt to occupy the time between live Bronco football dates, latest and up-coming, i offer an emerging series that seeks to occupy the OBNUG collective's fancies.  Without further ado...

                Remember those beer (can I say the ‘BW’iesrTM name [pun intended]?) TV and radio commercials that lampooned the uber-serious sports fan?  You know, the guy/s who always went to extremes to show how sophisticatedly machoistic and/or suave they were about how they honored their teams?  But they really came off as the guy who just nearly and accidentally escaped death, censorship (don’t touch that, Drew), the Las Vegas Sherriff Dept., or recording on a Tosh O. segment—but never ever escaped ridicule, scorn, derision, or the title of stupidest-albeit-happiest-moron-in-the-world.  Those were the days, right?  Whatever happened to young creative talent and good honest sarcastic journalism, eh?

Well, pine no more you wheelchair-jockeys!  You can relive some of that lost feeling and quit playing those faded reels in your head during bathtime with nurse Mildred.  Just like the “kids” in Cocoon I & II, you can jump in the water of the past with Steve Guttenberg (sorry!) and /revert/grow young again in your mind as you follow along with this OBNUG version and exorcise some frequent /trolls/heroes from some competing SB Nation sites.  If you’re ever feeling the strain of slogging through yet another paragraph from some outside blogster that just doesn’t get the fact that the Broncos will roll over all their teams this season, as in every season, or if you’re a lurker who just can’t work up the courage to commit to going public with your support but cheer on the glorious champions of the OBNUG coliseum that do, then here’s your vicarious opportunity to join the royal Triumvirate (Drew, Kevin, & Nick) and point your thumbs up or down after each /jest/ joust.

So, with a gravelly voice tickling your ears and a schmaltzy brass tune wafting in the background…here’s your first in the parade of /trolls/ opposing gladiators from the other side of OBNUG arena!

HERE’S TO YOU, Mr. …

WANNABEMORE THANJUSTATOAD—Ben Findley

                When your team inexplicably gets an inexorable amount of media love in broadcast sports discussions despite being kicked out of the premier state and regional football league decades ago… when your team has an inflated top-10 rating despite routinely losing head-to-head games against better teams… when you hop from conference to conference hoping to find that magic kiss to turn you into that perfect prince… when red-hair is almost trendy at your neighborhood HEB… when your teams’ felonies are adjudicated time after time after time while your Alumni Assoc account is re-configured daily… when your first two meta-carpals are permanently hooked into a mock blood-ejecting lizard pose…when your boot size is almost as big as your mouth…

                You keep coming on a site and posting unwarranted blogs, fending off facts, referencing royal roots, and denying /attempted /blatant TV-pandering by your coach.  You don’t let silly things like numbers or a backwards geographical location get in the way of why your team should again and always be the only team to ever matter in your state, the only “true country that matters in the world”, even if it never secedes.  You just keep cajoling your way back into someone else’s conversation and interject your “reality” in their “fantasy”.  You just keep amblin’ back into the saloon sayin’ things like “howdy” and “yall” and “sho-nuff” like there’s nuthin’-ta-fret-about…while your pattin-down other’s excitement or opinions or pleasure in their own team, and back-handedly puttin-down the team from the site you’ve spent so much effort to find and invade.   Even if your posts are faintly entertaining, even if they are frequently offensive, even if your homerism accusations are in direct proportion to your own homeristic tendencies…you provide them free of charge to those who really don’t want to hear it.

HERE’S TO YOU, MR. WANNABEMORETHANATOADMAN…these meta-carpals are for you!!

                                                           \I|II

Next up…

CAN’TSEEMTOKEEPMYDAWGINMYPOCKET—First&Thorn

The information above is purely opinion and does not necessarily reflect the opinion or the position of this website as it is intended only as smack, and should be taken, as with a grain of salt, as only smack.  Any /trolls/ bloggers who feel offended or plan to retort as if this really mattered in real life have the option of leaving this blog and keeping their response s to themselves and/or to their own website.

 

You think this bait will lure him out?  Think these are clever or plageristic chops?  Think you wanna give it a try?  Can you think of anything else to do until 3 Sept or the next countdown post from Drew?

           

             The OBNUG Hillbillie

Come and listen to my story bout a man named Darth

A poor chemisteer, barely kept his family hearth

But then one day he was bloggin up some smack

And up from the web came a bubblin flack

Push-back that is, asceticism, attitude-check.

Well the first thing you know ol Darth’s a sputterin air

Bloggers said, “Darth move away from here”

Said, “forbidden sites are the place you ought to be”

So he locked up his password and moved away from OB…

NUG that is, PG-rated pools…corn-stars.

 

                DP’s Isle

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip

That started from a blogger board aboard a tiny chip…aboard a tiny chip

The Prophet was a mighty diode man, his kine was brave and sure

The bloggers all embarked that eve on a three reply tour…a three reply tour

The blogging started getting rough, the tiny chip was tossed

If not for the courage of the fearless Drew the website could be lost…the website could be lost

Darth’s chip’s aground on the shore of a humble website isle…

With 4E-BleedBlue, Belexes too, tmunson and reflectivity, the boiseblues, kcam and hummer-fans

here on OBNUG  Isle.

So this is the tale of our castaway, he’s “gone” for an unknown time

He'll have to make the best of things, it's an uphill climb…it’s an uphill climb

Drew Roberts and ol’ Kevan Lee will do their very best

to make the others comf'table in their ‘tronic island nest

No phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury

Like a Mountain West reception, it's primitive as can be…primitive as can be

So join us here each day my friends, you're sure to get a smile

To coax a self-banished castaway back here to OBNUG's Isle!

 

The Prophet’s

Meet Darth Prophet…

His blog style “rile”

Spell-check, will not

Disdain, his life

(Ruh roh!!  “Drew…stop this crazy thing…Drew!!!)

 

                Darth Prophetstone

Prophet, meet he Prophet, he’s a modern stone-age artifact

From the town of Detroit he can be a little tough to take

Let's ride with the Prophet down the street
Through the courtesy of his two feet

When you're with the Prophet, you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
A scratch your head time
You'll have a cross-word time

 

In light of the OSU’s latest revered coach demise, James Tressel’s violation of very understandable and specific rules, the-OSU president Gordon Gee has issued a press-release concerning a comment made late last year.  The phrase “Little-Sisters of the Poor” issued from Gee’s lips over the course of the last college football season in response to pre-bowl selection posturing of big-moneyed Big Ten to further squash the rather good chances of teams like Boise State University’s Broncos from entering a BCS or the National Championship.  His phrase created quite a stir of media activity and blog-buzz around the country, if not local stellar galaxies.  Reportedly, while Gee was seemingly apologetic after being challenged about it at the time, it was later discovered that his actual remorse was in not Trade-Marking ™ his phrase so he could bill ESPN’s biggest tools, Mark May and Craig James, as each rejoindered it like an Al Qaeda terrorist with a fully loaded AK-47.  The originally disparaging remark intended to deflate and disspirit da lesser FBS teams of the WAC and MWC in fact became magic shoulder-chip-inflation juice, which when mixed with the powerful BSU team, caused them to again win a championship, receive high ratings, make millions for other schools and broadcasters, transfer into a stronger conference, and lead by example the patient endurance of SEC idolatry for yet another consecutive year.  While the inflammatory remarks of the-OSU’s esteemed demonic high-priest were apparently neutralized, Gee’s comment nonetheless became a lightning-rod of focused attention on the continuing battle of words, despite the actual losses on the field, between the haves and the have-nots.  Gee’s new verbal sword of mystic power quickly drew other arrogant admirers in AQ pundits’ ADs, presidents, and media tools.  Conversely, the so-called “Non-AQ” organizations were able to shrug off such sticks-and-stones tactics with relative ease, choosing instead to win the majority their respective bowl games within reach at the time.  Maybe as a means to test such age-old adages, maybe because doing what comes naturally is unavoidable, but “actions speak louder than words”, “putting-up or shutting-up”, “ taking care of business”, “eat your own words”, or “stupid is as stupid does” didn’t seem to register with such highly educated and highly placed gargoyles like Gordo.  His day of come-uppance has recently been orchestrated by his very own lieutenant-demon, little Jimmy Tressel; possibly in an attempt to overthrow Gee’s plush kingdom, but obviously a backfired venture as now there don’t seem to be enough feet to plug the mouths of all the-OSU sprites submitting their own versions of illegalities before someone else beats them to the state’s-evidentiary Let’s-Make-A-Deal antics.

Gee has released a statement of acknowledgement that only his [sic] mouth is more out control than his [sic] athletic department or his [sic] academic excellence.  Gee now publically withdraws his “Little-Sisters-of-the-Poor” remark, denounces all commercial rights to any Trade-Mark ™ attempts, and is willing to sit on the edge of his bed at attention under the strict house arrest rules of his parents.  With parents flanking him close behind and palms covering his ears, Gee says, “I would like to apologize, I mean I do apologize to BSU, the BSU Broncos, BSU Alumni, BSU Student Body and every previously ignored…errrr…purposefully oppressed mid-major institution, that my demon-stration of power…errr…despisement and arrogance was disproportional….arrrrr! …I mean disrespectful to the spirit of the sacred flame in the lamp of learning everywhere.  Further more, for being unjustly richly bestowed beyond all reason (fubrbbar), our chasm…errr… realm…arrrrr! publically-funded institution had and has by the blessed hand of a loving and forgiving beast…ARRRG! I mean Maker…geeeze mom…the responsibility to assist in fostering a healthy growth and relationship with other academia and sports programs.  My subordinate-demon….ARRRRR, mmommm?!...good friend Jim-Bob Tressel’s admission of conspiracy and ineptness has surprised us all, but has also served as a fundamental life lesson for every arrogant bastard-geek like me…that…unless…we…listen…to…owwww! remember…our…own…stupidity… in… getting caught…AAAAGGGHHH!!!! (sorry…dad) , in…making pointless…mistakes…of…thinking…we’re…better…than…someone…else…, that we’ll end up as the biggest losers in the history of all the world.”

Gee’s retractment  may yet avert a DOJ inquiry, but experts, and others like Gee’s personal masseuse, think it’s a case of “wow, that’s so un-godly little”, and too late.  Gordo’s below-the-knee amputation at the hands of his ex-trusted sidekick Jimmy-forked-tongue-Tressel has forced the humbling of one of the nation’s, no, the most arrogant campus in the nation.  This self-implosion by such highly self-exalted sanctimonious hypocrites lends insight into their personality and psychology such that all the finger-pointing previously executed at others was all a well devised sham, hiding the fact that they themselves were the incompetent, insecure, sniveling, morons they accused the truly innocent of being.  What’s the Gee-spot going to do next?  He hasn’t said, but speculum… errr speculation believes he is in for more probing inquiries into the repository of his most private chamber and its hidden secrets.

Meanwhile, the U.S. intelligence communities are fast preparing for a new wave of spider-hole filling before Jimmy the T apologizes for leaving the NCAA hearing to go to the men’s restroom.  Film at eleven.

 

While spring in the lower half of Idaho has yet to make its presence felt, even though the calendar appears to be making rapid advances on Summer…the south central Texas weather has been, up until yesterday’s frigid cold front (45 degree low at night), on track with the standard death by humidity doldrums common to Gulf de la Mexico regions.  This is not meant to regale you with a static weather forecast, but only to relieve your minds of mid-no-season-of-Bronco-football while my mind has been wringing its metaphysical hands in ruminations about why have I been sentenced to the Hades of the south when my heart yearns for the virginity of Idaho climes.  No stale air there, no threats of midnight tornados, no range fires hazing up your scenery…oh, wait, sorry…fire season coming soon, if I remember.  Well, anyway, is virtual contact better than no contact at all?  Can I re-live my residency in Idaho vicariously through OBNUG indefinitely?  I recently returned from a conference in Utah, and that was soooo CLOSE!  Close enough to real mountains, fresh air, clear skies, low-to-no humidity and far enough away from the next biggest town to feel like I was truly closer to nature out west!  Enough meandering.  My point is, is living in the anti-climate of Texas worth the pain and suffering of memories long ago and near-misses of my heart of homes, Idaho?

Well, the answer, as counter-intuitive as I set it up to be, is yes, it is worth it; well, at least for now and only for he following reason.  My wife sent me a text picture of a kid at her school who wore her “Boise State Athletic Dept” bright blue hoodie for the day; because it was cool enough to do so.  She said the girl’s mom had a friend who lived or lives in Boise…AND WE GET TO SEE EVIDENCE OF THE SPREAD OF BRONCO NATION!!!  Story goes this seventh/eight grader couldn’t wait to rush to school sporting her new threads!!  Furthermore, she makes a bee-line to the principle’s office to show it to my wife, who’s Bronco pennant has been right behind her desk there for over four years--connection!  Spouse also wears a BSU tee-shirt on their casual Fridays.  She tells stories of how moms and dads and maintenance guys and kids are always excited to exchange their excitement about such a cool program.  Oh, and my wife doesn't even watch football, but she loves to hear about the Broncos.

Well, that’s about it.  Just one more thing though.  I buy the golf balls and shot glasses, license plate borders and parking area signs, I wear the hats, beads, and tees, I put the magnets on my vehicles and host tailgaters during the season; I plant SI magazines and the mini helmet at work, hang-up Bronco Championship pins and articles, pro & con, about all debate concerning the BSU programs…and can only hope that some of it makes a dent in the exceedingly one-sidedness arena of the Texas football culture.  I actually walk around pointing out blue & orange color combinations occurring by chance in the world; i.e., stores, traffic, billboards, animal colorations, people's clothes, sunsets, and food items; my family understands, but they still laugh in pseudo derision.  I could be a candidate for Daisy Farms rest home soon enough, but I am committed to my alma mater enough that I don’t even care what strangers might think.  I just wonder what the other residents there are going to say about the new way that I’ll be wearing my Bronco golf putter.

 Anyway, so, you think that maybe what’s it all for…and then one day some kid runs in smiling about it and puts the answer right in your face.  I love it when simple things happen.

Bronco fans have good reason to be on edge for what looks like to, again, be a very promising season of national exposure, hype, and conjecture regarding Blue & Orange worthiness to challenge for the Coaches Crystal Trophy.  Much of this excitement is placed on-line and thus in infinity for all sports fans to read, such as at sacred blogs sites (OBNUG), local news rags (Idaho Statesman), or old competitors’ student rant & rave towelettes (UI Argonaut).  These postings are meant to convey fan thrills and loyalty, but often invite trolleristic negativity.  This is due in some part to the fact that sometimes in the excitement of the moment, any fan can get caught up in the flurry of emotions about their team; either defending the reputation, or attacking others’, and end up leaving a statement ready to be pounced upon like a Dustin Lapray dangling modifier in front of a tired old “liti-gator”. 

Yes, sadly, it looks like some of our enthusiasm has been taken the wrong way; well-intended and positive supportive statements though they be… homerisms, euphemisms, and other foot-in-mouth gags that seemed funny locally, don’t always translate that way to other fans!  I know, can you believe it?  The edifying goal being offered is to avoid adding fuel to the uneducated media flame-throwers and the lake-of-fire existence of non-Bronco fans beyond the cultural, if not physical, borders of Bronco Nation.  I know, I know…”haters gonna hate” an’ all, but lets not make it too easy for ‘em, right?!

 Actual grammar and syntax aside…in an effort to prepare our OBNUG faithful and other Bronco fans alike, this information is intended to assist in re-directing our impulsivities from tip-o-the-tongue missives, keyboard mis-fires (d**n fat fingers),  and misspeaks towards more sports correct phraseology  (find THAT famous movie term, munson).  So without purposefully trying to offend any OBNUG faithful, the following examples are provided for your perusal, or at least amusement.  To wit;

Scenario #1:

-          A friendly OBNUG poster says — “they [USU] never posed a threat.”  Harmless, right?  Wrong.

What bronco fan meant:

“in the bag”, or “they were totally dominated by superior firepower”, or even “posted their best showing yet, but could not match the depth and strength of the better team”

What non-bronco fans interpret:

“no competition = easy win, how can the Broncos brag about that!”, or “USU is not an athletic competitor, if they are so easily beaten”, or even “USU is a cupcake, that’s a win?”

Implications:

Public enemies like MM or CJ or Brian Murphy get to use that as fodder against us, well-meaning words from our own sentiments, so their own twisted comments spew forth; “WAC is weak…”, “MWC is weak…”, “so, if BSU continues to play cupcakes, a national championship cannot be part of their future…”  (when are their lips going to fall off?? Stupid voodoo dolls)

Scenario #2:

-          A non-bronco OBNUG poster says —“Also did I just hear you say that if a team isn’t in the fbs, they shouldn’t be allowed to compete in the NCAA championship? BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR”

What non-bronco fan meant:

“eat (BW) and die, stupid Broncos”, or “I think I have a thread of a legitimate idea, no, wait…”

What bronco fans can interpret:

“He’s jealous of my team’s rapid success compared to his school’s sliver-spooned, over-rated, and pampered prima-divas…and he admits he has a potty mouth”

Implications:

In this actual case, an OBNUG defender-extraordinaire mounted an exhaustive and persuasive rebuttal, which should have enlightened said interloper; alas, not the case.  While the rebuttal does much to educate the OBNUG faithful and thus strengthens our collective response potential, troll management is always problematic and fraught with complexities.  The recommended action is to avoid feeding—no further comments, no eye-contact—no validation, and provide warning signs to all “travelers”—danger, do not approach!  There is one other spell to invoke, but it involves baiting it into a state of violation that bans it from the realm; effective, but on the ethical edge of night.

Scenario #3:

-          A non-friendly OBNUG poster says — “MWC commissioners can change the venue, but the outcome will still be the same…go FROGS!!!”

What non-bronco fan meant:

“BW, we are dead for sure, but I can’t resist puffing out my chest (cause I ‘uz raised stupid)”, or “Wait, we don’t really want to be seen as the conference hopping toads that we are, we just want to be national champs like we were in ’35 when college football was so at its peak of technological development and equitable athletic performance (not based on geographic proximities or university presidential bragging [facetiousness])…don’t make us really have to play and win it all over again, just give it to us, PLEASE!?”, or “I don’t want to pay for a plane ride, hotel, and booze when my team’s definitely going down in flames, hey NCAA or ESPN, can we just skip this one and not count it in our season W – L columns? We’ll do the same for U Conn, and throw in West VA at no extra cost!”

What bronco fans can interpret:

“scared and quivering little amphi-reptilians, rich though you may be, you are still dirt under the sh** under my boots”, or “we are so gonna fill the stands now, and on ESPN…during waking hours—public beatdown and humiliation here you come, toadies.”, or “yep, like I always said, on a still fall evening, frogs can shore make a lot of racket, but jes go try and cetchya one…they just scatter…nuttin but ripples… shuts ‘em up though”

Implications:

Tact and diplomacy are prime requisites here…but screw tact and diplomacy!!…awww sorry, to adhere to the spirit of improvement, we should take the obviously bloated toad comment and NOT respond in kind.  Previous experience is that even though they are educated privately, their stupidity is very public…constant popping off at the mouth, vandalism…in Ft Worth (have you seen that wreck of a town?), and notso-covert drug use rampant on campus…it’s as if the major they declared was DFW Bad-Boyz Father & Son Club.  Appropriate responses might be tailored to their self-aggrandized view, emphasizing how clever Patterson is in using his pants as a play-calling signal method…two shakes and a tight grab = sweep left, wedgie and belt buckle twist = quarterback draw, or zipper-check and pocket pat-down = tight-end across the middle.  Bottom-line, they’re leaving and shouldn’t be back on this or MWC site after next season, so respond however you want…just like the species (sadly), these horny toads are vanishing (not sadly).

Scenario #4:

-          An OBNUG invading poster says — “doncs…etc”

What non-bronco fan meant:

“but, but, but, my daddy promised that I was going to the best school in Idaho, (sniff) (sniff) and now…I’m MAAAAAD at daddy, wwwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhh!”

What bronco fans can interpret:

“stupid vandals, disappear back into your kibbie-hole of a wasteland”

Implications:

All is right in Idaho, vandals aren’t relevant anymore; what with all their “brain-power”.  Hey, go think up something to do with all the extra time you’ll have because your team is never going bowling!  How about using your research $$ making some student-dorm-window-netting?

 

As the up-coming CFB season approaches, BSU alumni and student’s pulses race higher as anticipation builds towards the Bronco’s best chance by far to scale the summit of a NCG.  We need to grow newer and more mature skills that can handle the assaults and infiltrations that accompany any wartime campaign.  We need to side-step the land-mines of old rivalries (Vandolls), defuse the IEDs of OOC histories (hedged-in bulldogs), and counter-intel against wanna-be MWC champs (horny purps)

While no one but Drew, Nick, and Kevin are totally literarily impervious, the rest of us may need a slight bit of tutoring, in order to show the non-bronco world (soon to be even smaller) the solidarity among Bronco fan mind, tongue, and quill power.  Have you heard/seen any un-bullet proof blogs that could offer constructive OBNUG blog-composing benefits? (say THAT five times fast)  Care to share?

Seems like SI got hold of some photos of the Bronco Hockey Ice-Girls.  Wierd thing is that they are using some kind of psuedonym, like...islanders or something, hard to make it out.  If they are getting some extra money on the side posing as some other ice-girl team, good on them!  I hope that they don't wear out their uniforms doing extra gigs, but I have to admit...really like their increased exposure in the ol' Blue 'n Orange!  Go Bronco Ice-Girls!!!  wait, what? we don't have that team formailized yet?  what are wE WAITING FOR???

 

(really, i tried, but i don't know how to manipulate 'fan-shot'...should be easy for a "brain" like me, but unless it's complicated, i guess i can't do it...or my PC won't allow me to (yup, that's it).  Anyway, if someone else more adept at it can...?)

(statesman) - Thompson said this year’s Boise State-TCU football game likely will be scheduled at the end of the season, like the WAC has done with marquee games in recent years. The schedule usually is released in April complete with times and TV assignments. The Mountain West might release a preliminary schedule earlier this year, Thompson said.

 

Bronco Nation seriously needs to start a Collector's series of these "...On the Blue" tees, right? right?

(reaching 75 w min...) right?

but if it's not going away next year, then i have to say that i get such a comfortable glad feeling as the Utes head into the AQ conference.  No more of that annual "cinderella" this or "xxx-buster" that from media auto-playing heads.  Whatever happened this last season, it's over now, and the fact remains that the Utes are going into their terminal conference...the highest avialable to CFB!  I still hate the BCS and want it to die quickly, but the last silver lining remaining in this system is that of the freedom found in parity with other AQ teams.  If AQLand is the last place for all teams to be...then here are the Utes...nice feeling.

The Utes can't be equated with terms like "one-hit-wonders" anymore.  Eventually, the BCS will die out and give way to what fans want.  Just think...the Utes will help destroy the BCS; it started in 2005 with the Fiesta and peaked in the 2009 Sugar bowls.  Now the Utes have the UNIQUE opportunity to fight the system from the inside!!!  Even if Bill Cock-in-hand bcs-god-himself thinks he has swept the arguement away from play-off proponents, he will see how the Utes rise to the top of the PAC 12 and then win the NCG.  His defenses will vanish when the Utes validate how such teams as themselves were always this caliber, but were't able to acheive that unless they suffered put-downs by the reigning system.   The frog-purps won't be able to do this b/c they're going into a doomed conference, that even a rose can't save!  Nor any amount of alumni money they throw at effn-espn!!  BYU can't, b/c...well...they're BYU!! and they'll never let go of the cookie-cutter cultural mold they are in.  Boise State will dominate the new MWC and rise to the equal footing of the Utes, trust me on this; but they will have to endure another 5-to-10 year stint in the non-AQ slammer before they can shake free.  Yet the Utes will be the first to invade, even if it is a test of acquiesence by the system and the caliber of the Utes...the Drum & Feathers will be kicking the snot out of the Southern AND Northern division starting THIS year!!!

pffft oregon clucks!  bbbrrruppp cal barelys!  sssssstttpphh sin-devils! socal condums!! AZ wild-splats, washington shmush-puppies!! oregon st.-camel-toed beaves!  boulder biffs (did you put on two coats biff?)!!  ucla-fran-and-ollies!!  the cardinal...no, the trees...no, the red-birds, no, blue...waaaaaiiit! oh, and the wazzups!!  HA!! win every game but one this year!

Good-bye MW...no regrets, no obligations either.  Have a good life, while it lasts...effn bcs...

Well, there's more than three but you get the idea, it's like $25,000 dollar pyramid: i will provide answers later, but record yours now to pass the time and create some good natured fun!  Maybe OBNUG could kick-in some shirts or Buff Wild Wings leftover coupons for prize-winners, ya never know, eh?  On with the gaming!

1ST QUESTION:  doldrums...saragasso sea...glaciers...nightmares of being chased...molasses in winter time...a watched pot...the college football offseason...

2ND QUESTION:  stockmarket numbers...where bin laden is hiding...explanations of what killed all the birds and fish...who's the blame for the gulf oil spill...which college football FBS team deserves to be in the NC...

3RD QUESTION:  Mariana Trench...the Grand Canyon...California coast and the Japanese shoreline...Cape Canaveral and the Sea of Tranquility...solar surface and Pluto's crust...today and CFB opening day kickoff...


4TH QUESTION:  the Herd...the BCS Show...ESPN Sportscenter...the Experts...Brent Musbergergergerger...College Gameday...The Mtn. ...Versus...JR is Burning...University of Idaho student newspaper...

5TH QUESTION:  Rocky...Rocky II...Rocky III...Rocky IV...Rocky V...Alien...Aliens...Aliens III...Requiem...Predator...Predator II...Aliens vs. Predators...Terminator I...Terminator II...Terminator III...Band of Brothers CD set...Pacific CD set...Inidana Jones I...Indiana Jones II...Indiana Jones III...Tostitos Fiesta Bowl CDs...Broncos CFB regular season CD set since 2000...

6TH QUESTION:  beads...frisbees...car flags...pins...golf balls...club covers...license plate wrappers...decals...stickers...face paint...hair paint...silly string...golf tees...tee-shirts...hoodies...penants...shorts...giant foam hand...pens and pencils...Riddell mini-helmet... 3'X5' double-sided flag...foam key-chain head...car windshield screen...

7TH QUESTION:  no more kibbie dome...no more kibbie dome...no more kibbie dome...no more kibbie dome...no more kibbie dome...

8TH QUESTION:  Idaho...Washington...Oregon...Montana...Utah...Nevada...California...Arizona...Colorado...New Mexico...Wyoming...Texas...Hawaii...Alaska...New Jersey...Canada...Holland...Africa...

9TH QUESTION:  because it will hold more people...because there will be more home and home games available with AQ teams...because it will generate more income...becasue it will shut up the arrogant AQ teams...becasue it will shut up the arrogant sportscasters...because it will be even louder...because the mountains are still visible in the NEZ...

LAST QUESTION:  sunsets...sunrises...campfire flames...some butterfly wings...blue turf...2007 Fiesta Bowl victory...

Wednesday night was a lag within a lagtime of lollygagging bowl games...to me at least.  I have watched them all, at least a piece of them all, so far, and will resume again tonight, but only briefly...until Magnum PI repeat season starts up again.  Then it's imaginary ferrari-island for me!!!  ahem...i digress.

I wanted to utlize my time wisely, or at least in appearances of wisdom...so i started and completed the next best seller to War & Peace...you guessed it...Death to the BCS.  I am not here to regale you with any universal truths or insights to the read i had, i agree with most of it and we have all heard much of it mentioned already in bits and pieces since it was released.

My advice...go get a copy, i am...i want this on my shelf...in paper form...so i can refer to it as needed this off season and onward when the crap starts to fly from the Bimodal Collusive System cartel again.

So what did YOU do last night between bowl games, constructive pro-Bronco preparation, or depravity...again?  be careful in your resonses, this is a closely monitored family blog... :)

(75 word-limit....passed. aaahhhh)

O where o where can it be?

o where o where has blogbet gone?

o where o where can it be?
Not to come off like a whiner, and not to try to level any ridicule at anyone connected with them, but i am experiencing  a grief reaction re: the Hawaii BB and possiblt the Idaho BB.

Should we issue a BB APB?

There is the sudden disconnection without any time to understand why they are gone; there is the automatic initiation of trying to communicate with the BB, even though it's not possible...

I am having all four non-acceptance reactions all day long...

--denial-- there's nothing wrong with it, i just haven't found it yet, or it is busy doing important work elsewhere and will get to me soon after

--anger--how could this happen!!! a delay or downright removal of which is dastardly!!! someone will pay and pay dearly!!

--bargaining--i swear that i will never use that BW again, as long as dUI lives as a team, or akey is still wearing that catapillar and smiling below it

--depression-- i can't eat, i can't sleep, i can't move, i can't change the direct TV sports channel from gameday, the ratings are actually killing me

Bottomline...i am sure that i cannot reach acceptance until myt inner bronco acheives peace through BlogBet reality... must have BB, me love BB, need more BB, ne eat BB all of time, must have BB (refc. cookie monster)

Imagine, if you will, a beauty contest, rigged to it's highest bidders' specifications and consisting of oversized bikini-stretchin make-up strewn contestants.

Picture these contestants attempting to parade gracefully down the ramp and into the media spotlights where the ooooo's and aaaaahhh's swell in volume.

Continue, if you will, to hear and feel titllation at the commentator's excited remarks of how these contestants are even more gorgeous representations of their favored homeland region than last year's were, if that was even possible!

Notice that off to the side stands the actual beauty of the pageant... a truly stunning and knock-out of a specimen that without a sheet of criteria, one knows byond any doubt that one is now beholding beauty as created by God and as it was intended; without blemish, without arrogance, without anything not necessary to define the ideal of what constitutes true beauty, that is...simplicity without fanfare.

The media don't notice, as they contue to oogle the other contestants and feverishly scribble praises and lavish loud croaks of adoration.  The judges themselves seem transfixed, as only those under full control of the spectacle before them could allow themselves to be...enamoured of their own fantasy.

The crowd, feeding off the wild enthrallment of the media and contestant benefactors, increases their pandamonium and enjoins the cheers and shouts of "perfection, perfection, prefection!!!"

The rare, but only real beauty present, stands to the side watching in astonshment, humility, and shame at the raucous gathering.  The instructions were plain and simple; arrive, have composure, and perform the tasks same as the others.  All boxes were checked, all squares filled, no mis-steps, no faltering; among all the bumbling playing out for all to see in the others, though, no faults in any way whatsoever.

Yet the obvious mindset and behavior of exclusion was apparent, even to the unassuming beautiful contestant.  Those who can buy their fantasy, get to enjoy that fantasy and share that orgy of self-love amongst the other fantasies; repeatedly.  Horrible, shudderingly repulsive,...yet, enslaving as well, no escape in this beauty-box of a mockery of all that is pure, all that is worthy, all that is heaven sent.  No escape from this hell, until the fantasies become one and unite in their perversity, together locked in a motion that grips in death while permitting fleeting moments of hope...yet being dashed on rocks of despair over and over.  An Irish tale, if you will, no happy ending, but only the tragic remains of a lifeless, soulless, and mindless vomit of a system created by the most unimaginative, backwards, and hypocritical conspirators possible.

I wish someone had the will and capacity to put into pictures what is beyond my technology...

Somehow the broncos are losing the weekly rankings battles, yet somehow the broncos are steadily gaining ground in the war against the Bimodal Collusive Standards cartel.  Also inexplicably, week in and week out the broncos are winning more rational, if not lower level, media respect nationwide.  So too, previously unaffiliated or otherwise committed CFB are fans becoming more supportive and outspoken for the Boise State Broncos…just this weekend, an employee of a major home improvement center, came up to me and started a conversation amidst the shoppers about their own appreciation for such an exciting team, and how their friends are gathering and watching Bronco games this season, as well as from last season.  And that’s one area, just four states away, and in the Deep South!!

The Broncos ARE making a statement about the dismal arrangement being suffered in CFB, at the hands of the villainous profiteers who form the cartel called the Bilge Containment Sump.  They are doing it with heart and soul. The numbers are impressive and comparable as well, but are a double-edged sword when used in defensive word-play…those who live by the numbers, shall die by the numbers.  I advocate that the “W” column keep speaking for itself.  The less significant statistics are only useful props for the pseudo stalwarts to count who’s best.

                 Far be it from me to be critical of anyone else, much less to chastise Bronco Nation for back-sliding type discussions.  I only implore us all to recall the title of our haven here and submit our fears appropriately to the One Master Statistician and Giver of all good things.  These young men are deserving of mountains of awe and respect, within our community and from without.  Whatever the circumstances, focus on giving them the props and adoration they have earned.  Horned Frauds and others will be outed soon enough, but that cannot be our primary duty as long as we profess to wear blue-collars and represent the common man with UNCOMMON MEN for our entertainment.  Stay faithful my friends.

In the spirit of friendly banter, or maybe notso (;)) friendly banter to the warriors, and with a few extra minutes of idle keyboard time and email crashing...i offer the following retro-song for all you kids at heart who may have endured this once upon a time at your babysitters, or currently at your nursing home...or maybe even now with kids or grandkids (if so, you may not want to read any further)

You put your quarterback in

You take your OLine out,

You put your safety in and you shake ‘em all about

You do the huka puka and you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about!

 

You put a new old coach in

You take your old old coach out,

Your put your AD in and you shake him all about,

You do the huka puka and you turn yourself around,

That’s what it’s all about!

 

You put your 1-AA in

You take your AQ out

Your put your OOC in and you shake it all about

You do the huka puka and you turn yourself around,

That’s what it’s all about!

 

You put your profanity in

You put your beer-guts out

Your put your piss-balloons in and you shake ‘em all about

You do the huka puka and you turn yourself around,

That’s what it’s all about!

 

You put your lame dance in

You take your respect out

Your put your character on the line and you shake it all about

You do the huka puka and you spin yourself around,

That’s why you’ll never be taken seriously…

ESPN: 10/28/2010

The most meaningful word in college football this week is the one word that has wreaked more havoc on the rankings than any other: at. As in undefeated Michigan State at Iowa, unbeaten Missouri at Nebraska and No. 1 in the human polls, unblemished Oregon at USC. In all, six of the remaining seven teams undefeated teams have to get through Roadblock Saturday to remain perfect.

Roadblocks have bounced a No. 1 team from its perch atop the AP Poll or BCS standings in each of the last three weeks. Auburn is next to sample life as the No. 1 target in the BCS.

***

Here’s a chance to apply your logic, Bimodal Cartel Supporters (straps?)…if you don’t want BSU in your precious NCG conversation, then by vote BSU #1!!!  According to your most recent college football random explanation about how to decipher the chaos of this season, when a team becomes #1 in polls and formulas, then they should fall within one week of said acclaim.  To rightfully displace the upstart Broncos from “real” football team rankings, what more of an iron-clad method is there than that, right!? 

I mean…c’moooooon man, put yo money were yo mouf is, or shut the BW up!!!  If yall are so BW smart, then don’t be an ostrich in the sand, DO something about it that’ll “cause” a bronco demise and let you get back to regular beauty-contest pageantry, eh? 

Oh, and when they don’t fall the first week of being listed as #1, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next…then don’t lose faith in your system, just realize that you’re being beaten at your own game.

Funny thing I noticed this weekend…while conducting some minor b’iness at a local outdoor retail warehouse I was slightly delayed in the line.  Being the appearance- minded govt zot that I am, I started inspecting my bills…to ensure that they were unfolded, unwrinkled, and undog-eared….all presidents facing up and dollar signs aligned sequentially.  I reeeeelllly had time in this line, and no, I am not OCD.  So looking over the back of one bill, I at first just glanced, and then we riveted by what I saw written…”IN PETE WE TRUST”...and God was NOT marked through!!!

Now, I am NOT insinuating in any way whatsoever that Bronco Nation start defacing government currency.  Yet, I just have to marvel at the renown the Bronco football team and coaches have garnered.  I was underwhelmed when the official rankings came out last evening.  According to the preview of the list before the actual show…(then why have a show about it?), I expected what I saw and didn’t get torqued about it…only b/c I know that they are wrong and the Broncos are right, so let them enjoy their stacked deck for just a teeeensy weeeensy bit mo(o)re.

Coach Pete and his staff know what they are doing, how can I believe otherwise when the evidence speaks for itself?  I solemnly swear to relax, drink responsibly, and thoroughly enjoy the rest of the season brought to Bronco Nation by Coach Pete et al.  Furthermo(o)re, I shall not worry, fret, or concern myself with rankings from media-bags, pollsters, or evil demons.  With the advent of a great shot at the NCG, I also swear to not morph into PAC10/Big10/Big12/SEC-type fans who epitomize arrogance, even in the face of intra-conference incompetence.

In Pete, I trust. (BB award x3)

With the Hester Prinn's similarity of dipping into something probably better left undipped, the Scarlet T in this case represents the recent yet traditional powers-that-be FBS tendencies to resort to "Trickeration".  The accusations from mainstream media against the hallowed Broncos continue this weekend, in spite of the fact that as recently as this Friday night's Big LEast game, and in previous weekends throughout this this season, the use of trickeration was lauded as "expertly done", "masterful", "decisive".  Whaaaaaat???  Yet when initiated and infrequently used by the Broncos....automatic trickery!!!  Foul!!  Sandlot!!  What is with this blatant disparity?

Surely others observe what I see and I'm not just an overly sensitive middle aged armchair lineman!

May i request that as amny as possible within the bronco nation and or objective media journalists begin the COUNT of TRICKERATIVE plays emmanating from the distiguished traditional colleges' OCs this weekend?

Furthermore and in the same vein, may i request a review of said "infractions" since this season began by all Div-1/FBS football teams??

Additionally, may a frequancy analytic comparison to the Bronos use of said manipulation be accomplished?

So at the end of whatever given week of play when MM et al tees up their standard POS evidence, then the automatic reply ready at hand to shove down his throat would be, not only is there parity within the FBS for traditional play , but when the Big Teams feel the heat, they resort to whatever means are necessary to win, as do many other lauded teams...BSU.

Please?  Have a great weekend.

 

Did you get to see the USF/WV half-time spectacle of PE#1/MM and his new Mayday Minute?  While I do not want to morph into a rankled sports consumer and all-the-while being no less than a naive part-time four-letter/BW channel watcher…I felt a Bronco fan comment was in order to help counter the continued mental tangle that MM is spinning in his latest attempt to bash the Bronco football team.

His newest take blitzes through a monologue meant to at once both zipping through his given minute with magical insights in the allotted time while slipping in his next attempt to justify why the Broncos do not deserve to be voted into the NCG, even if they may appear briefly atop the BCS standings due out this Sunday evening.

 

Wow, MM sure puts much of his time into knocking down BSU…is the return on investment really worth it all, or will four-letter/BW execs start to shift his punditry down and away a few notches?  Okay, MM’s newest diatribe shifts away from the “can’t play an SEC schedule week-in-and-week-out” to a “body-of-work” (BOW) argument.  Specifically, that the Broncos BOW hasn’t and won’t stand up to comparison with the top AQ teams, currently ranking below the Broncos.

See what he’s doing? BOW, wow??  BOW WOW MM!!  In about 20 seconds he’s making a case that permits no rebuttal, which appears to be airtight…b/c he’s such the sudden rapid-fire expert.  I guess if you can blather faster than the next blatherer, in the eyes of the American sports viewer, that makes you king and anything you say is credible.  Maybe his argument really rests on the premise that sports is about entertainment and that at any given time most of the consuming viewers have consumed or are consuming excessive amounts of alcohol and other substances and so are in no shape mentally to consume with a critical ear what the hell MM is positing anyway!

However, basically his equation of college football supremacy is comprised of three “T”s; Talent—who you have, Team—who you play, and Tradition—how long you’ve been doing it.  He believes that the Broncs are comprised only of (brief) talent, (inferior opposition) team, and trickery (not in-your-face-fb). His whole case rests on the notion that whatever talent the Broncs have, it’s brief, a flash, honed on second-rate teams and so illegitimate and by de facto reasoning, substandard.  Not only is he spitting on the Broncos, now he’s openly spitting on every team not on his secret A-list…you know who you are.

BOW wow again, MM.  What blatant snobbery!!  You really are giving the king network of sports a bad image…for shame.  This attempt of yours isn’t sports journalism or even banal entertainment, it’s a national stage to advance your own personal and political biases, built, again, from your own history of pain and rejection from the college elites.  The real bottom line you have is that “if the big old school dogs are gonna push me down, then I ain’t gonna let some newby dog come around and look like they’re better than me by trying to push down the dogs that pushed me down, I’m siden’ with the big dogs!” BOW-wow, bow-wow, bow-wow w w w w!

BOW, my BW!!!  Your argument is basically saying that wins against bigger teams count more than wins against not-big teams.  Wins are not really wins…Really!?!  And that the Broncos wins against a few quasi-big teams ain’t really wins then.  Really?!?  Hey VT, hey OSU, how do you feel about MM saying that about you?  Agree, do you???  Anyone else want to take MM’s side when his logic knocks you off the real-win list?  That you weren’t really beaten by a quality team, you just weren’t a good enough team to play to start with!  Your not really a quality team until I say you are a worthy team.

So, if you will, MM is really arguing against the Judeo-Christian Bible…the Word of God Hisssself!  That the shepherd boy David should NOT have his fight with Goliath count as a win.  That David’s win doesn’t count b/c his BOW was only inferior wild animals...wolves and lions and bears, not 9 foot tall warriors.  That David wasn’t qualified to fight him in the first place b/c the king who decided was not computing rationally at the time so his cabinet’s desperation to send him in was a fluke of poor timing in the system.  That David used unconventional, non-traditional, and rudimentary means of combat.  David’s triumph was trickery!!!  That David, in representing the Messiah to come who would save all sinners from their separation from God, was not Supremely sufficiently equipped to battle the evil before him out of love for his king and anger at the effrontery by the lone taunting giant…

Well, MM, if you want to make that case…then you go on ahead…by yo-self.  I ain’t gittin on yo bandwagon…you are messin’ with the Almighty.  AND anyone who does that is always gonna lose. 

Hey ESPN execs, you better start doing some atoning yourselves and separate this mayday boy away from yall asap!  Or it’s likely to get hot for you reeeaaal quick (and lose a lot o bucks too).  Face it execs, MM is really reaching deep down, scraping the bottom of a disappearing bucket of arguments.  Honest Abe said it once, better than me, “you can fool some of the…CFB viewers…some of the time...”  Well, you get the idea. 

MM is outliving his usefulness by hanging on to antiquated arguments and slight-of-hand-reasoning attempts; BOW-wow, really?  Just b/c a program has been around a long time means that fresh starts, innovation on a theme, and heart don’t counter that?  There’s only ONE formula for valid success?  I can’t buy those ideas.  And,  I am not watching your broadcasts or buying any products therein b/c of any 'feisty' controversy MM tries to bring.  Please make that go away, either through repeated public apologies or termination, whichever.

CONSTANT SORROW: Bronco Turf

 

I am a field of constant sorrow

I've seen trouble all my days

I bid farewell to all contenders

The place where they come to be slayed

(The place where they come to be slayed)

 

For sixteen long years I've been in trouble

No pleasant talk on earth I found

For in this world I'm bound to rankle

Big conference foes, they put me down

(Big conference foes, they put him down)

 

It's fare thee well my old true Broncos

They don't want me to see you again

For they want to roll me in a bundle

Perhaps I'll die on Rose Hill’s train

(Perhaps he'll die on Rose Hill’s train)

 

You can put me in plastic boxes

For many years there I may lay

And you will learn to slay more AQs

While other turf sleeps o'er my grave

(While other turf sleeps o'er his grave)

 

Maybe the SEC thinks I'm just a stranger

My face you’ll never see upon their wall

But there is one promise that is given

I will be crowned with a crystal ball

(He will be crowned with a crystal ball)

Mandel at S.I. has new power rankings out, he's on our side even if the ranking is lower.  But in reading his rankings farrther down the scale, he creates an interesting concept from his reference of a disatrous day.  Creativity begets creativity, so curious if Bronco have or can have commensurate BLACK FRIDAY jerseys for a blackout game sometime this season???  What would that take?  Anybody else viewpoints?  care to try making a poll...?

What if…Mark May, really…what if?  What if is the premise of your argument against BSU Broncos being in the National Championship game, polls, or discussions; “The Boise Broncos do not deserve to play in the NC because, what if they had to play in the SEC against those teams week after week?  They couldn’t do it!”  So, what if is then issued as maxim to all listening who are less bestowed with clearest insight.

Your primary use of what if appears to render an objective opinion on the matter, yet the listener already knows that judgment has transpired months before your air-time commenced.  Your subsequent uses of what if broach the possibilities of actually engaging in the physical act of having the Broncos meet the lone champion SEC survivor, yet you deftly twirl past the issue with a quiet eye-roll, veiled grunt, or sudden yet small release of breath as your upper lip curls slightly and delicate brows knit closer.  Slight of hand, Mr. May, it’s only a slight of hand game used with your mouth, thoughts and intellect instead of just a limited pair of hands.

What does what if really mean?  Instead of bantering the premise around like a chicken thrown into a dog-pit fight.  Would you be somewhat more open to the prospect of entertaining what what if means if what if was allowed to speak without fear of reprisal?  I mean, the speed and venom with which your retort issues must equal some cosmic level of a huge light-bending worm-hole, parallel to say maybe, a snake-hole?  If you consider yourself one of, or dare we say, THE keeper of the holy sports flame, then why should ye fear?  Of what harm wouldst lowly jousters have against a true skilled wielder of combat arms and practitioner of said arts?  Of whom do you rail against so boldly if the what if is really not meant to be?  

Ah, yes!  Meant to be; that maybe is what lies closer to the heart of your attack.  Do you fear the meant to be?  Does the possibility of destiny haunt your thoughts at night?  That which you cannot control is impossible?  That if the Mighty Mark May does not know precisely what will happen, that the CEO and stockholders of Mark May's what if seige may suddenly replace him?  Do you fear the shame and ridicule from the homes, bars, and man-caves in the world from millions of paying yet ardent sport-consumers, historians, and statisticians?  Do your pores tighten and hairs stand a little taller when dollars start to dip in the trend charts and forecasts of corporate field marshals depict such a fog and friction as never occurred in any battle, ever?  Or is your deepest held terror so unspeakable, so morbid, so unfathomably hope destroying and yet so close that even the whisper of it causes secret rage, vile stealthy murderous acts upon all, and bone-breaking dread and inner loathing? What could it be Mark, what do you dare not say?

That you believe.  You believe in the Broncs from the Blue.  That you believe that not only could they win a NC game against any given SEC team once, but that they could in fact run the table against them all, repeatedly!  Yet to admit and take a stand and say so to the world would invite scorn, ridicule, and derision beyond anyone’s ability to bear; beyond your ability to bear.  To see the actuality of it unfolding before you seems like the very fabric of the universe is ripped, undone, vaporized in an instant!

What happens when that happens to you Mark May?  What happens to what if when it is wrenched from your frozen fingers, the hilt of what if suddenly torn away and the sound of the what if blade clanging on the cold granite rocks below and away, so far away.  Defenseless, Mark, you will be defenseless, naked and alone and only your small useless what if laying beyond your grasp, in all meanings.  All your petty jealousies, selfish desires, and bestial cravings will be laid bare.  No what if to save you now, it’s blue kool-aid in hell or nothing to drink for eternity, eh, Mark May?

Look into the power and possibility of what if Mark, let go your conscious self, trust your feelings.  What if medicine didn’t work; what if Jonas didn’t make a vaccine, or penicillin wasn’t discovered?  What if Alexander hadn’t called Watson, Ben hadn’t harnessed electricity, or railways weren’t built?  What if the USSR hadn’t dissolved?  What if Lee hadn’t stepped onto the moon?  What if Fat-Boy and Little Man weren’t loosed?  What if concentration camps were only camps?  What if the Inquisition hadn’t inquired?  What if Magna Charta wasn’t written?  What if Eve had not offered the fruit and what if Christ had not died to save you from your sins, Mark May?  Unimaginable what ifs become reality sometimes.  Can we stop the what if?  Can we protest it or stab it?  What do we do when what ifs come alive?  One problem with a what if is that it is never the what if you thought you saw coming, it only turns into it after everyone has had their hand in it, one way or the other.  By then, the what if is something else.  But realize this Mark May, the what if was a destiny in the making long before anyone had their hand on it, in it, or in front of it.

What if you were never born?  Do you want to give that scenario a try?  Is what you’re saying really saying, “Don’t give them a chance because I like how things are and don’t want change to happen…I would be upset, disappointed, grumpy, and cross.” 

What about this what if, Mark May?  Do you not think things are going like they should, even if they aren’t consistent with your own viewpoint, Mark May?  Change causes alterations, and some are beneficial and some are not, some are blatantly destructive and some are quietly so.  Yet in some way, some unbelievable way, these changes were weathered by mankind, accepted, and embraced as part of our identity, whether we wanted them or not; they happened and we lived through the reality of the what if.  Will you, Mark May?  When the what if of the Broncos playing in and defeating SEC champ after SEC champ for a National Championship occurs…this year and next, will your what if still stand as is, or will it accept and embrace the destiny of change embodied in the Boys from the Blue?  Thomas doubted, rightly so, in fact, but once his fingers were in the holes, he admitted that he believed.  Touch the truth mark May, touch the truth.

Only getting to watch the broadcast of everyone who was fortunate enough to attend, wasn't so bad.  First qtr--you Broncs showed up and out showed the beauty-contest darlings...STATEMENT.  2nd qtr--you allowed them to get back to an even position, but not leap past...STATEMENT.  3rd qtr--you stood toe-to-toe and duked it out...STATEMENT.  4th qtr--you allowed them to pass you and apparently fulfill haters' nation-wide expectations, but you rose-up as you always do and finished the job...STATEMENT.

What a simply superb effort that you players, coaches, and attendees made to the world.  You have established your credentials yet again, which allows the removal of any doubt as to your heart and the Bronco Program integrity.

I can't wait to hear about how MM puked after eating his humble-pie :)

Just picked up license for the start of the season...for the first time ever, mine has four hokie tags!  Problem is, i don't have a fish & game pamphlet to guide me on proper technique or restrictions on hunting hokies.  So i have a few questions:

1).  how do you tell the males from the females?

2). when tagging, where does the tag go and should evidence of sex be provided with or without a prophylactics?

3). is there a slot? what's the daily limit?

4). how many sub-species of them are there; is it possible to determine differences?

5). is it dangerous at all or only when wounded?

6). should i obtain permission from property owners to hunt their land, or is a hokie regarded as vermin?

7). what is the typical bait for a hokie, and does it cost more than a NYC B-girl?

8). does it make any kind of irritating noise when cornered, or does it just roll-over?

9). how do i know when it's really dead?

10). is it usually served greased, BBQd, or al dente'd?

Think about the impact to the rankings and NC-hype if Earl blows in and either lingers or drops lotso tears etc.  If i knew how to construct a poll here, i would cross-tab respondants from both schools with "having game as scheduled/no PPD" or "rescheduling in December after regular season".  Which scenario provides a more intriguing drama and which benefits the Broncos the best?  Now or Later?  poll-maker opportunity for someone...

OK K. LEE, I TOOK YOUR BAIT, HOPE YOU DON'T MIND...LONG-TIME LUNKER (refuse to be called a lurker), FIRST-TIME OBNUGGER (maybe that should be a new plastic bait at Bronco Shop...hmmm). Please forgive the crammed format, it was arranged clearer before pasting...uh posting...mmmm, whatever. Saw the old BNB movie recently, sitting in my BSU/UU man-cave, so couln't help thinking..."what if", so... Finale’ version, twiste’ a la’ BCS: At the playoff championship field, Walter Matthau is giving his pep-talk to "THE Team"… -- (Coach Boilermaker) "On Labor Day, we play the Hokies. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR THE HOKIES?!" -- ("THE Team" pdissed-on by the East-coast Silver-spoon-fed media-Puke sports-Nation & any ‘old’ school east of the mississippi) "BAD NEWS FOR THE HOKIES!!!" (ahem…new cheer) -- (insert any condescending AQ team here…or the vandals, Mark May, Craig James…) "Hey Broncos, we just wanna say that you played a good game, not that we ever really thought you were any good, but we hope you can make it [against illegally paid voters] again next year" -- (feisty underdog player representing the true spirit of collegiate sports competition…us) "Hey, BCS, you can take your win [rigged formulas] and your crummy trophy [faded beauty- contest darlings], and shove it up your BW !!!!!" (beer for all, happy dancing... and…fin)