*In no way meant to immediately jinx us, jinx's are for teams that need to worry about jinxes, like the Chargers for instance.

"Someone clearly insists on being a Pilgrim every year" via cdn.faniq.com

Merry Saturday after it's okay to get fat day because we'll all be wearing winter clothes and ruining out credit score day for the next two months day!  Jesus, this is a long holiday isn't it?  It's only Saturday still which has the PARADE living in the magical procrastination space between Saturday afternoon and Sunday night still.  Being a grad student in a lousy economy means most of our 'real work' consists of unpaid do-goodery done on odd hours, and as such, extended holidays just means for us "why aren't more of you people at work right now?"  Nonetheless, we present another comeback installment of the Saturday Afternoon PARADEBULATION.

Joel will no doubt accuse this of being a "fair-weather" PARADEBBFESTIVITY; however, we assure you, there was a glorious post in the works following the Redskins game, but someone limited our editorial ability to upload pictures.  Coincidence, we had several pictures of said someone's hairy mug, press pass and all?  You be the judge.

Regardless, after Joel informed us of a number of angry emails regarding the absence of PARADBULATING (thanks to each and every one of you) we present a Charger's week 'Bulation:

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via c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com

Okay, Randy. I shouldn't do this, but I'm willing to wipe the slate clean and forget about this. I want you to get your priorities straight, quit hanging out with those hoodlums and sign your commitment to your team. Have you done that yet?

"Winners is a term 'winners' don't use (we just say "we" or "us")"

Losers often put too much time and effort into passive aggressive signs.

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For those of you looking for your weekly Saturday Afternoon Paradebulation, fear not.  Rumors of the PARADE's death have been greatly exaggerated.  See the PARADE moved apartments today and also was lining up Tomorrow's double coverage, first ever, road game AP exclusive (at least exclusive to the AP?).

It should be a great time.  Sadly, newly minted DC area Chiefs fan... Garf (not his real name), will not be able to make it.  Big shout out to Garf,  Happy Birthday yo!!!  But at least he will be able to watch his new team on network TV (the PARADE, the pied piper Chiefs nation).  So simmer down child and enjoy the game hopefully our recap will more than make up for the lack of 'Bulating today

We're gonna try to make our own humorous pictorial jokes for you, but at the very least we a totally unrelated picture of a dolphin to hold you over...

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By way of introduction, the PARADE and the PARADEBULATIONS have been a pre-game tradition of the AP's for some time bringing insight, nonsense, and absurd pictures of dolphins whether or not we happen to be playing Miami.  Self-described as a royal plural presence attempting to write the "Finnegan's Wake" of Chiefs fandom in blog form, the PARADE has been present since the founding of the earliest incarnation of the AP but as of late has been on sabbatical.  When envisioning a far less reverent "founder's plaza for the AP" the PARADE expressed their wish to have a "Smithy of the PARADE's Soul" Room which would house a statue with Bruce Smith's head on the body of a Lord of the Rings Orc doing a mocking 'tomahawk chop' at the 1993 AFC Championship while an indistinguishable, but nevertheless vaguely handsome, boy weeps as his lost balloon floats away.

via bigeastsux.files.wordpress.com

Fact, he never changed his expression when Romo fumbled that snap, fact.

Now we have more than our fair share in the PARADEBULATIONS and behind the scenes of ribbing our dear moderator and biggest "lil bro" of all, Joel, who does such great work here.  We like to hassle him about his dedication to silly things like "maintaining the integrity of the AP," and "not taking hateful pot shots at local journalists," and "not gratuitously flooding our posts with obscenities," and "not openly expressing out giggling contempt for Mile High Radio," but seriously this time we have legit beef with our friend, compatriot, editor and artist (as long time readers already know) formerly known as "Primetime07."

Now was this just lapse in creativity, confusion over Jared Allen's underground nickname "partytime," an expression of admiration for Deion's Atlanta and San Francisco (or FSU/Baltimore/DC alternatively) years, or maybe just undue ardor for the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Seven???

Make no mistake about it dear reader, while Chris, ourselves, Padraig, ChiefsDJ, UC and rest all bleed Chiefs red, pure and undiluted, there's a tinge of Blue to Joel's conflicted soul this weekend.  Now, no doubt he'll keep his loyalties in order here, but be wary of a Cowboys rout, Primetime loves a winner!  Not us, we're underdog fans, always have been always will be.

This week we'll have a some mildly humorous pictorial jokes, some fantasy football advice, your game time snack of the week, your game time beer of the week, a 'special' commenter award (ombudmanstyle!), and as always, something to blow your ever-loving mother-trucking cookie-munching brain.

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By way of introduction, the PARADE and the PARADEBULATIONS have been a pre-game tradition of the AP's for some time bringing insight, nonsense, and absurd pictures of dolphins whether or not we happen to be playing Miami.  Self-described as a royal plural presence attempting to write the "Finnegan's Wake" of Chiefs fandom in blog form, the PARADE has been present since the founding of the earliest incarnation of the AP but as of late has been on sabbatical.  When envisioning a far less reverent "founder's plaza for the AP" the PARADE expressed their wish to have a "Smithy of the PARADE's Soul" Room which would house a statue with Bruce Smith's head on the body of a Lord of the Rings Orc doing a mocking 'tomahawk chop' at the 1993 AFC Championship while an indistinguishable, but nevertheless vaguely handsome, boy weeps as his lost balloon floats away.

via www.mynameisben.com

Many of you undoubtedly have fears about this current season.  What's with our o-line?  Who's a legitimate secondary option to Bowe?  Where's the high powered Arizonian offense?  Will we ever win a game?  How can we go on without Swayze?

All these factors can be a little overwhelming when it's still only week 4 of the regular season.  That's why we've decided to provide a little distraction from the fact we're playing one of the most over-hyped teams that also happens to be 3 and 0.

This week we'll have a some mildly humorous pictorial jokes, a SPECIAL PARADE exclusive real life Eli story straight from the PARADE's memoir "Ain't Nuthin Gonna Stop This Curiously Titled Chiefs Site Now" ("Going Rogue" was already taken), some fantasy football advice, your game time snack of the week, your game time beer of the week, a 'special' commenter award (ombudmanstyle!), and as always, something to blow your ever-chatanoogin noggin.

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Remember to rec' the sh*t out of this because it's not gonna get main-paged because Joel's scared of sitting next to Jason Whitlock someday, and we want it to at least hang around in the top fanposts...

via livinginstereo.com

At least we didn't go with the "couch" photo again, eh J-dub?

Just about every week, at least during Chiefs season, Jason Whitlock puts out a column for the KC Star.  Overall, we're a fan.  His columns while they lack in accuracy and shameless chase sensationalist attention usually 'move the ball' somewhere, if not forward, which is more than most small market sports columns.

However, over the years Jason's slipped into a bit of a formula and God knows he's never been afraid to mix a metaphor or dumb things down linguistically or logically.  So for that and various other crimes against the English language and basic logic, we present "Fun with Big Sexy."

For those familiar with "Fire Joe Morgan" and KSK's weekly Peter King MMQB blow-up, it's a familiar concept: take a writer/figure compelling enough to keep us reading, yet irritating enough to throw us into a rage, and then stream of consciously rip it apart.

(We look forward to UCrawford's point by point meta-FJM style ripping apart of this post)....

Author's editorial note: If Jason you ever do read this, and we HIGHLY doubt that, we want to reiterate that we're genuinely thankful you're in Kansas City and have enjoyed your columns for years.  We mean it when we say, we only hurt the ones we love...

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Some strong language in this week's PARADEBULATION...Just an FYI... -Chris

By way of introduction, the PARADE and the PARADEBULATIONS have been a pre-game tradition of the AP's for some time bringing insight, nonsense, and absurd pictures of dolphins whether or not we happen to be playing Miami.  Self-described as a royal plural presence attempting to write the "Finnegan's Wake" of Chiefs fandom in blog form, the PARADE has been present since the founding of the earliest incarnation of the AP but as of late has been on sabbatical.  When envisioning a far less reverent "founder's plaza for the AP" the PARADE expressed their wish to have a "Smithy of the PARADE's Soul" Room which would house a statue with Bruce Smith's head on the body of a Lord of the Rings Orc doing a mocking 'tomahawk chop' at the 1993 AFC Championship while an indistinguishable, but nevertheless vaguely handsome, boy weeps as his lost balloon floats away.

via i.cdn.turner.com

This is how you make the azzzzzz drop...*

There's something different about this PARADEBULATION.  Unlike past Raider week PB's and not so Raider-related Raider week posts, the PARADE cant' characterize a certain ennui we have towards the modern day Raiders.  It's as if hate has subsided into contempt which gave way to disgust and some bemusement and is currently floating somewhere around an unwanted guest at a neighborhood barbecue...

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By way of introduction, the PARADE and the PARADEBULATIONS have been a pre-game tradition of the AP's for some time bringing insight, nonsense, and absurd pictures of dolphins whether or not we happen to be playing Miami.  Self-described as a royal plural presence attempting to write the "Finnegan's Wake" of Chiefs fandom in blog form, the PARADE has been present since the founding of the earliest incarnation of the AP but as of late has been on sabbatical.  When envisioning a far less reverent "founder's plaza for the AP" the PARADE expressed their wish to have a "Smithy of the PARADE's Soul" Room which would house a statue with Bruce Smith's head on the body of a Lord of the Rings Orc doing a mocking 'tomahawk chop' at the 1993 AFC Championship while an indistinguishable, but nevertheless vaguely handsome, boy weeps as his lost balloon floats away.

NOT the PARADE... and the girl frankly scares us.

Welcome Buoys and Gulls, Chicas and Hombres, Stick Figures with Skirts and Stick Figures Without, and Scott Pioli personally, this is the triumphant return of the PARADEBULATION.  Those not familiar with the hot truth and fresh type of madness that the PARADE brings, this is a weekly pre-game column that some would say rips off Deadspin's NFL-wide Jamboroo (specifically the PARADE) and which others would say provides a fresh guide for living to the modern Kansas City gent... or lady (pictured above).

After an extended off-season sabbatical the Saturday Afternoon PARADEBULATION returns.  This week we'll have a game week preview, some mildly humorous pictorial jokes, fantasy football advice, your game time snack of the week, your game time beer of the week, a BRAND SPANKING NEW 'special' commenter award (ombudmanstyle!), and as always something to blow your ever-licking mind.

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