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Orson

  • joined Dec 06, 2008
  • last login Dec 06, 2008
  • posts 5982
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User Blog

IOWA HAWKEYES: BIG IN KOREA

39

What do South Korea and Iowa have in common? Plenty. Both are rivals with a dictatorship led by an aging charismatic leader and his son. Both are blazing hot in the summer and ball-destroyingly...

BUY JOEPA'S GLASSES, LEAVE POOR OLD MAN BLIND

7

Go buy Joe Pa's glasses, which are not only autographed by him, but were taken off his head by a Penn State student. Paterno has no plans to get new glasses, and will instead soldier through the...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/28/10

19

So metal. If Eastern Washington doesn't come out to "Raining Blood," they're cheating themselves and the fans who clearly thirst for blood, metal, and football rage. D-1AA EWU is mulling...

THE WORST QUARTERBACK PROSPECT OF THIS YEAR'S CLASS

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Our legion of anonymously quoted and possibly fictitious NFL scouts give you the inside information on the composite worst prospects coming out of college in 2010. EYES: Jevan Snead. Suffers from...

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: WILLIAM FAULKNER

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Today's Mustache of the Day: William Faulkner. He didn't use commas because they were all stuck in a majestic clump beneath his nose. WP Mayhew remains the finest imitation of him yet. HAPPY...

FULMER CUPDATE: ALL QUIET SAVE FOR THE LICENSE BANDIT OF TAMPA

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The Fulmer Cup quantifies the offseason foibles and misbehavior of college football athletes so you, the college football fan looking to taunt with confidence, can safely accuse someone of having a...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/27/2010

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WAAAAAAAH BUT HE'S GOT SHORT ARMS. Pro scouts seem to be caught between being dog show judges and actual evaluators of football talent. Take the criticisms of Tim Tebow: all totally...

GOOD MORNING, RECRUIT BORN TO BE A COMMANDO WEATHERMAN

14

Whatever your parents named you sucks. Storm Johnson. Middle name? TRAINFIST. In all caps.

RECRUITING VIOLATIONS HAVE A CODGER EXEMPTION

23

In the Kiffin family casting call, Monte usually gets off easy. Lane is Nelson Biederman the 4th, spoiled, entitled, and headed for some form of prison or downfall; Ed Orgeron is the wacky uncle...

TIM TEBOW AND ABORTION MAKE FOR POLITE REASONABLE CONVERSATION

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None of this Tim Tebow as fetus exemplar bullshit matters, because Cthulhu's going to eat us all when and how he chooses, unless Raptor Jesus intervenes, and then best belee they gon drink and...

JIM TRESSEL AS A BLACK GUY IS THE COOLEST BLACK GUY EVER

27

Jim Tressel is so uncool he's almost cool. Note that: almost. Devo still holds Ohio's crown for dork cool, and as endearingly retro as Tressel's sweatervest combos, complete obliviousness to the...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/26/10

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Ladies. Let's not quarrel. I'll take off my shirt for you. Look. (Photo via.) Now even you ladies extremely agitated by my upcoming Super Bowl ad. You can't stay mad at these traps, can...

SENIOR BOWL IS THE SEXIEST OF MEAT MARKETS

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Tebow went 4/6 with a few drops by his receivers in early drills, but also dropped two straight snaps in this exotic "under center' position they've been tinkering with in the NFL. More...

AN ERRAND WE HAD TO RUN

51

Step one: this. Step two: (click all photos to embiggen) Step three: Step four: Step five: Step six: Mission accomplished, Team EDSBS.

GO PERFORM A PUBLIC SERVICE FOR THE NATION GO GATORS

30

Go cure cancer Go write the Great American Novel Go start a Fortune 500 company Go play the low end of a hi-low double tackle hobbling an interception prone quarterback, thus pleasing everyone...

OREGON KICKER IN STABLE CONDITION AFTER FIGHT

13

Dumbass friends can cost you. We had an acquaintance one time--let's call him the Scarlet Hipsternel--who, though from rural Tennessee, labored under the illusion of being Alex in A Clockwork...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/25/2010

23

He's the Genius of Love (and losing money.) Mike Hamilton's fine leadership and superb coaching hires put the Tennessee athletic program in the red for the first time since 2005. This...

RUSSELL HILL OF IDAHO STATE, PLAYER OF THE YEAR

7

Hinton's putting together his top five plays of the year, and considering the fifty plus games that happen every weekend in college football narrowing down every spectacular thing that happened...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/22/2010

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Oh the luminosity. The University of Florida's Library Youtube channel has lots of things: videos of barn owls, seminars on how to craft grants to get NSF funding, lengthy lectures on the...

YOU CAN DO IT LITTLE MAC

3

Ruffin McNeill will be imploring his players to bite like a mosquito and dance like a fly as he takes the job of training the Little Mac of C-USA in continuing to punch above their weight. ...

PIRATES POSSIBLY LOOKING AT COACHING MAYONNAISE

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That's mayonnaise, and there's nothing wrong with mayonnaise. In fact, it's delicious as a side dish, especially if you're Belgium-ing it and doing the fries/mayo/beer combo, which is sublime and...

ESPN OMBUDSMAN SAYS ESPN COVERAGE OF LEACH TROUBLED HIM

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Don Ohlmeyer, the current ombudsman at ESPN, was the man who fired Norm Macdonald made jokes about his close personal friend and total alleged double murderer O.J. Simpson. He also produced the...

GREAT MOMENTS IN BIG TEN NETWORK ADVERTISING.

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The Big Ten Network is on 24 hours a day, supplying you with all you could possibly crave in the way of vintage football classics (Purdue vs. Michigan 2004! Catch it at 1 a.m. in the morning!) and...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/21/09

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MS Paint, you will never know the hands of a more tender lover. If you've ever doubted the power summoned by proper handling of MS Paint, please see the modern equivalent of the The...

SPORTS MEMES! THEY LIVE

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This picture is not related. Keep moving. Sports Memes occupied most of our day, and are up over at SBNation, which is good since very little is actually happening in college football, unless y...

MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: ROBB AKEY

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The offseason marks the return of Mustache Wednesday. We kick it off in regal fashion with college football's second finest mustache next to Schnelly's: Idaho coach Robb Akey. Happy Mustache...

URBAN MEYER IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

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Of all the loose threads still dangling free from the tattered border separating the fabric of the season from the long, bland sheet of the offseason, the status of Urban Meyer has to be the most...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/20/10

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Crash-tested for your approval. Oh well-done, Freek. Nothing further on the glamorous life Lane Kiffin left behind him in Knoxville, though Kevin Steele was certainly impressed enough by...

TRAINWRECK

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Ah, a vintage EDSBS Live trainwreck. It had been a while since one, and the feel was so familiar: the velvety mouthfeel and opening notes of technological FAIL, the middle notes of confusion and...

EDSBS LIVE! RAKROOTIN' EPISODE

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EDSBS Live, tonight at 9:30 EST. The questions of the night will be recruiting, new coaches, and what you would do to land a recruit. Listen here, chat here.

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