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Orson

  • joined Dec 06, 2008
  • last login Dec 06, 2008
  • posts 5982
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User Blog

SUNRISE, SUNSET

10

Sunrise: Tennessee makes the savvy move of hiring Kevin Steele, Clemson's defensive coordinator and former Alabama and Florida State assistant, to head up the Vols defense. Steele not only brings...

STARKVILLE DOES HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

22

Sure, Jameon Lewis probably did go to a strip club on his recruiting trip, but don't blame Mississippi State. You know Dan Mullen would have nothing to do with organizing a strip club visit...

OFFSEASON NONSENSE: THE AMATEUR.

19

For those of you not familiar with the offseason around here, one of the key distractions is this thing called "The Amateur," where we go and humiliate ourselves trying out a sport or sport-like...

IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW IT'S RIGHT

29

We prefer to keep our head above the scurrilous, undocumented rumor surrounding Lane Kiffin's alleged personal misbehavior while at Knoxville. We prefer not to comment on an alleged car wreck where...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/19/10

41

Always bring a towel. Notice anything particularly eye-popping in the top ten of Rivals' current recruiting classes? Besides Texas A&M's ten-spot? Good, you see Auburn there, too, and we're...

FULMER CUPDATE: DUKE GETS LETHAL-ISH

41

The big board, brought to you by Brian. His genitals are so large that they have been, on occasion, compared to Reggie Nelson's. Unlike Reggie's, Brian's goods are not seen flapping uselessly...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/18/2010

33

Autotune, your healing hands touch us the right way every time. Renaldo Woolridge of the Tennessee basketball team turns football tragedy into relationship triumph, girl. Make all your big...

DEREK DOOLEY AIN'T COME DOWN FROM ROCKY TOP

70

Somehow, this is all just a vast plot to twist Georgia fans in knots they didn't imagine were humanly possible: today's phantom candidate is Derek Dooley, aka "Mike Shula with a law degree." If...

MEYER USING THE SKYCAKE DODGE TO RECRUIT

24

Urban Meyer will use whatever flavor of skycake necessary to get a recruit. Atheist: "Kid, there's just one life, right? Don't fuck it up by going to Florida State. Cause, you know, it's not like...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/15/10

61

Can anybody find me... He works till he aches his bones...at the end of the day, Mike Hamilton takes home his pay all alone. He tries and he tries and he tries, and some people say he's...

OFFSEASON DISTRACTIONS: ARCHER

29

Because you have no football to watch tonight because we are in the icy grips of the offseason, you may as well watch the geniuses behind Frisky Dingo get it on FX with their new opus, Archer at...

ONE BRAVE STATION: IT'S CUTCLIFFE

41

WFMY and sister station WBIR in Knoxville are reporting that Duke head coach David Cutcliffe is headed back to Tennessee. No, you cannot make them make out, Oops Pow Surprise, though if you could...

IT WON'T BE CALLED CALHOUN'S FOR A REASON NOW

30

Play "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" with the question "Who/What is Troy Calhoun?" OPTION ONE: An ersatz brand jeans discontinued after lead-tainted cloth killed and sickened 27 customers in the...

PIRATES NEED PIRATES

23

With USF taking Skip Holtz, the Bulls fill their coaching vacancy with a guy who surely didn't want to skip out on a great opportunity like USF! /shoots self in face. We may now look forward to...

LO! THE FULMER CUP BEGINNETH

39

It begins: The Fulmer Cup Season 2010 is now open. The theme? THE YEAR WE MAKE (ILLEGAL AND PROSECUTABLE) CONTACT. Pours out an entire bottle of Cheerwine for the dead homey Fulmer. The SAS Wiki...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/14/09

21

I believe that what I said was accurate. TJ Simers is the voice at the 1:30 mark or so that turns Lane Kiffin's pudding brain into a boiling mess of denatured goo. (HT: The Wiz. Ragin'...

PSSSST NOT FOOTBALL RELATED

35

There is nothing funny or football-related here. But after the jump, if you're wondering about Haiti-related donations... ...here's a quick note since a few readers were asking. (Since,...

LANE KIFFIN MADE US ALL WINNERS TODAY

31

If the sorrow over Lane Kiffin's departure becomes too much to bear, please remember the good times. Remember the gaffes over Kiffin's complete lack of understanding of the NCAA rulebook. Remember...

THE LANE KIFFIN USC PRESS CONFERENCE

39

SCENE: Los Angeles, CA. The USC Campus. A room of reporters wait for Lane Kiffin. AD MIKE GARRETT paces nervously in the background. An AIDE waits with him. Aide: What do you want me to do? G...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/13/10

34

The obvious early answer to this ball of insanity. Lane Kiffin will assume the role vacated by Conan O'Brien, use the show as a recruiting vehicle, and Ed Orgeron will play the part of the...

GOOD MORNING

55

Oh, and it is.

EDSBS LIVE: IN MEMORIAM EDITION

44

The details of tonight's "very special" edition of EDSBS Live follow. First, however, unscrew the caps to your finest malt liquors as we honor the long list of our recently departed: The healing...

A POSTSEASON POLL: FINAL

30

HIDE YOUR EYES. It's an extremely belated poll. Rank Team 1 Alabama 2 Texas 3 Florida 4 Boise State 5 Ohio State 6 TCU 7 Iowa 8 Virginia Tech ...

JUAN OF THE RIVER DECLINES USC JOB

33

Just play this to set the atmosphere. Juan of the River sat down at the table in the office. He wore a simple pancho. His sombrero sat in the corner with his pistoleros left in a pile in the...

WE TOOK JIM LEAVITT TO A FARM, SON

6

If Leavitt loses his suit to regain his job at USF--which he most certainly will, since suing to get jobs back has never, ever worked in a non-shareholding, non-corporate--he'll be cut loose, and...

CURIOUS INDEX, 1/12/09

25

Jack Del Rio. Or as we'll just start calling him, "Juan of the River." He's been offered the USC job. Del Rio has never coached in college, has never recruited at the college level, and...

LSUFREEK: PETE CARROLL IS THROWN CLEAR AT THE LAST MOMENT

30

Seattle and Endor do look a lot alike.

GEORGIA, JOE KINES IS WAITING AND READY

28

Georgia will whiff on their first candidate to replace the performance artist and occasional defensive coordinator Willie Martinez. Clarification: Georgia had inquired with Bud Foster of Virginia...

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