I share two names with Bill Walker. My birth certificate says "Charles Thomas Osborn," but my parents and everyone in my family recognizes that my full name is "Charles Thomas William Patrick Henry Jacob Lawrence Osborn." (Want my social security number, too?) It's stupid, I know, but it's the way it is. Bill Walker, on the other hand, has the proper amount of names, and they're officially William Henry Walker. Walker grew up in West Virginia, and he attended high school in Ohio, where he and some guy named OJ Mayo absolutely ran shit (whoever decided to make that mix and put GZA in the background deserves a kiss on the lips). The two of them were best friends, and often compared with one another. Although Walker was typically considered a "swingman," while Mayo was considered a point guard/combo guard, the two of them conducted workouts with both of them running the same drills, and when someone was watching, they would play each other in one on one. Remember that for later.

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Wednesday, March 28th -- VS Orlando

Friday, March 30th -- @ Atlanta

Saturday, March 31st -- VS Cleveland

"Welp" must be trending in New York.

I am not going to write a long sweeping recap of New York's season. You know the ups and downs: "Eastern Conference Finals contenders" turned into "without Baron Davis, we don't have a point guard." That became "Linsanity," which became "Melodrama," which gave way to Mike D'Antoni's separation from the franchise, which led to "What's wrong with Carmelo Anthony's game?" and "Hey, Amar'e Stoudemire seems to be improving at just the right time!" All of these ups and downs led eventually to a seemingly perfect race between the Knicks and the Bucks; 50 games through the season and boy oh boy is it coming down to the wire! They're neck-and-neck, folks, and they're playing each other at the Garden on Monday! What a huge game for both teams, each hoping to prove its superiority and the Knicks' particularly hoping to eek out a win to keep the possibility of a season split with Milwaukee alive. Overall, last night's game was huge in every conceivable way. This whole week is huge in every conceivable way.

When it came time for the Knicks to embark on the final leg of this brutal season, the Knicks rolled the dice to see who would go first, and they came up snake eyes (how's that for cliche?).

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Tuesday, March 20th -- VS Toronto

Wednesday, March 21st -- @ Philadelphia

Friday, March 23rd -- @ Toronto

Saturday, March 24th -- VS Detroit

I fully understand no one will care about this story. Anyway, when I was an undergraduate, I played intramural basketball with the same group of guys three out of the four years I participated. A couple of kids on my team had played in high school and were pretty competent players, a few of us had never played in an organized league but loved basketball and tried really hard, and then there was Ray Fray. Ray transferred from a different school after his first semester as a freshman, and he is one of the less athletic looking people I know. He is really handy with computers, listens to a ton of "Rush," and is part of a running joke that his ass is actually concave. To be inclusive, both because we were nice guys and because he was a new kid, we asked Ray if he wanted to be on our team and he said "sure, I love basketball." We signed Ray up.

In the first five minutes of the first intramural game we played, Ray Fray went five of six from behind the arc to put us ahead something like 25-6. Ray told us later that he led his high school conference in three pointers made as a senior, and so no, this shooting was not a fluke. From that point on, we all decided to play really annoying zone defense and let Ray shoot whenever he wanted to (we pretty much all shot whenever, but that's not the point). The play I ran with Ray more than any other was simple: he would go to the corner and I would stand on his wing. Then, I would take a couple of steps forward, set a screen on his guy as he ran up to replace my spot on the wing, and he would get a pass from the point guard and shoot an open wing three. It is a stupid little play that is the equivalent of living and/or dying by the three ball, but because he was such a good shooter and because we played cohesive defense most of the time, it was a viable offense when we really needed points.

In a very roundabout way, this story represents both Steve Novak, as well as his emergence as the true first option of the Knicks second unit.

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Wednesday, March 14th -- VS Portland

Friday, March 16th -- VS Indiana

Saturday, March 17th -- @ Indiana

I'm writing this at the same general time the Knicks play the Bulls Monday night, so they will not be included in the assessment of this week's slate of games. I'm going to try real hard not to make this a habit, particularly during brilliant, inspired stretches of stress-free basketball such as this one. The weather has grown tired of mirroring the success of the basketball season for Knicks fans, apparently, as the literal Christmas gifts of Knicks basketball and a Knicks win have given way to gorgeous skies and embarrassing, confounding play. Of course, it's entirely possible the Knicks will commence beating the Bulls down ten minutes from now, but for the sake of full-assing rather than its alternatives half- and no-assing, I'm not going to include this Chicago game in any way (although it seems to represent the awful schedule the Knicks have had lately pretty well).

Update: The Knicks lost painfully by getting dominated on the offensive boards!

Jump for thoughts on the impending Knicks tilt against Portland, as well as thoughts on this week's home-and-home against one of the more fundamentally contrasting teams from the Knicks, and one that is as likely to make a major trade prior to Friday as any, the Indiana Pacers.

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Wednesday, February 29th -- VS Cleveland

Sunday, March 3rd -- @ Boston

At first glance, this week presents the ideal scenario to the Knicks: because they have only two games slated in the next five days, there is plenty of time to practice and get to know one another in a basketball sense. Coach Mike D'Antoni has already stated his intentions to do just that, forming a sort of "mini-camp" for the players to adjust to one another for the oft-referenced "second half push." This is undoubtedly perfect timing for such a stretch; with Josh Harrellson and Iman Shumpert returning to the lineup, Bill Walker will be the only remaining Knick unable to play (which isn't that big a deal, as the additions of J.R. Smith and Baron Davis, as well as Landry Fields's increased productivity will probably relegate Bully to the bench anyway).

Having said that, I cannot think of two games that would put the Knicks in more of a position to fail than the Cavaliers game tonight and the Celtics game on Sunday, and I'll tell you why.

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Monday, February 20th -- VS New Jersey

Wednesday, February 22nd -- VS Atlanta

Thursday, February 23rd -- @ Miami

Glancing at the Knicks' shiny new record of 16-16 after yesterday's preposterous and perhaps most impressive Lin-era victory against the heavyweight champions of the world, two things become clear. The Knicks have three games left until the all-star break; also, the Knicks would like to have a record above .500 heading into the break. In order to accomplish this task, the Bockers will have a gimme-game in the Garden against the Nets, who somehow just beat Chicago, followed by two not-so-gimmes: Atlanta in the Garden followed by Mario Chalmers and the Heat down in Miami. No game of the three can be considered an automatic win (Nets) or automatic loss (Heat), particularly considering the circumstances and outcomes of the Knicks previous two contests, but with the team's leading scorer and most highly used player, Carmelo Anthony, set to return this week, it sure would be nice to win somewhere between 66 and 100% of these last three pre-break tilts, huh?

Let's check out some storylines in greater detail and try to assess this week's platter.

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Tuesday, February 14 <3 -- @Toronto

Wednesday, February 15 – VS Sacramento

Friday, February 17 – VS New Orleans

This week presents an interesting dynamic. Taking a look at this week’s schedule, it becomes clear that the Knicks face perhaps their easiest week of the season. Toronto is certifiably bad this year when playing without their best player, Andrea Bargnani, Sacramento packs talent to the rafters but the Knicks have to like their odds in the Garden, and New Orleans will be on the road and down its best player as well. Truly, this new Knicks team, one that seems to take incredible pride in its defense and fundamental offense, should beat all three of these teams. However, this week provides such an odd cocktail of two potential outcomes, all dependent on the Knicks' results on the court, and the addition of Amar'e Stoudemire, who is expected to play in tomorrow's game and many games after that.

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This line came from community member Branta after hearing Madison Square Garden's hype man request to hear the crowd scream, which was already happening in front of countless televisions and computers across the world tuned into this game. The Sixers were playing their third game in as many days, giving the Knicks an opportunity to take down one of the most impressive teams of this young season. Leading by as many as 17 at one point, however, the Knicks did their darnedest to make things interesting down the stretch. Carmelo Anthony, though, as he is wont to do (a lil' Seth vocab for y'allz), hit some huge free throws down the stretch and the Knicks ultimately won a defensive battle against the league's best defensive team.

I have some game notes after the jump, including the fact that Tony Battie, on January 11th 2012, dunked on the Knicks twice.

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Well, the Knicks did a great job of bending but not breaking, beating the red-hot Philadelphs at Madison Square Garden in spite of an outrageous rash of fourth quarter turnovers. Carmelo Anthony had himself a statistical night, Jorts Harrellson provided some unexpected offense in the first half and stalwart defense throughout, and the Knicks escaped a pretty stressful second half with all 120 stars to free Princess Peach.

I'll have a recap up later tonight for sure. In the meantime? Discuss!

Hello.

In this, the era of the pitch count, one reads, sees and hears things he or she would not have read, seen or heard say, twenty years ago. "Hughes isn't going to exceed 75 pitches in his rehab start," "Chamberlain threw 20 pitches, six more than his average," "Johan Santana threw one pitch this inning, up one from his average last season." You get the pitchure (see what I did there?).

I want to gauge common perception of the importance of the pitch count, pardon the gaggle of prepositional phrases, and I'd like Pinstripe Alley to help me do it. There's a catch, however, which is classified by my curiosity not toward the pitch count from the pitcher's side of the action, but rather from the offensive side.

I asked my buddy earlier tonight which scenario he preferred as a manager:

• Four pitch walk
• Ten pitch strikeout

Now, I know there are a lot of variables, at work here even if the batter is the first of the game: quality of the opposing bullpen, relative "rubberness" of the opposing starting pitcher's arm, etc. But the best I can do is to create the closest thing to a vacuum as is possible, which is to say the batter is the first of the game and that's it.
Relative to a four pitch walk, what quantity of pitches in a lead-off strikeout equals the value of that four pitch walk? You do not get a runner on base with no outs and at least your 2-3 hitters coming up, probably your 2-3-4 hitters, but you do significantly more damage to the ever-growing-in-importance "pitch count" of the opposing pitcher.

What say you all? (I apologize if something like this question has been posed already)

So I'm sitting there, right? I'm pretty sure at this point the Knicks weren't gonna move up in the draft due to the trades earlier in the day and whatnot, so I'm just kind of hoping Kawhi Leonard keeps falling for absolutely no reason, praying the Knicks might be able to pick him up to either keep or to pawn off for goodies (The Knicks were two spots away from being able to ultimately trade for George Hill, which would have made me cry deeply from profound happiness). Well, they didn't get Leonard, who was scooped up and swapped for the aforementioned IUPUI alum by Indiana. Next, the Sixers took Vucevic, who I sort of coveted for his size and apparent skill, but never fully bought into, and I was set on who I wanted the Knicks to take with number seventeen.

Well, things went a little differently than I thought they would. Jump (42 inches if you can).

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First game in Dallas! It should be pretty wild, considering...well...everything. Let's hope it's as great as game two!

Tip's at 8!

That one was pure pain and misery from jump street. Traditionally, every time I've written a recap, I've gone through each player to give my impression of his impact on the game. That would not make sense in this case, however, because every player who made an impact on the game seemed to be wearing green tonight. Paul Pierce (ugh) and Ray Allen combined to shoot approximately 99% from the floor, including 99.5% from beyond the arc, and Rajon Rondo had one of the gaudier triple-doubles in the history of the NBA playoffs.

The Knicks aren't beaten yet, though. So what if the letter has been written (game one), signed (game two), and placed in an envelope (game three): It hasn't been mailed yet. And you know what? Game four is on Sunday, and as Vernon Dursley once exclaimed; "No post on Sundays!"

I've now confused myself further. Ozraider said it best in the headline quote. Watching this game was worse than watching pterodactyl porn, because pterodactyls don't give up as many offensive rebounds.

Jump for prolonged sadness.

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Sorry this is a little late guys, I was a little preoccupied. Continue commenting here. I'll almost certainly get a recap up later tonight. Until then, please be nice to each other and continue discussing all the hot topics without telling each other to shut up, or worse.

We'll get 'em next time!

Celtics 52, Knicks 44. Continue commenting here. Melo looking terrible, STAT looking hobbled, Ray Allen looking like Jesus of Nazareth in his prime. Let's hope Bill Walker isn't the best player for the Knicks in the second half, and that they win, too!

Good Evening, octogenarians. Tonight marks the first playoff game in Madison Square Garden since 2004, and its circumstances are of the "Must-Win" variety. The above video was recorded in MSG during the same year the Knicks won their last NBA Championship, and it's probably my second or third favorite Led Zeppelin song of all time, so it's nice to have an excuse to post it.

Billups is most likely out, but Amar'e Stoudemire is taking warm-up shots as I type this! This is the CelticsBlog, visit if you are so inclined! If you do, however, be civil and gracious, win or lose. This is it ladies and gentlemen. The Garden will rock, hopefully the Knicks will roll, and I will continue to write garbage sports writing cliches. That's Amar'e!

I'm a wreck. Tip-off's at 7. Let's do this!

Update (6:25): Billups will sit via Beck

Hey look at that! I still exist! I haven't posted anything in a long time for various reasons, but I'll get to that later (probably not, though). As you may be able to tell from the time, I am extremely antsy, nervous, and pumped for tonight's game simultaneously. I tried all morning to walk around my campus and smile at people I know, but the Game One loss has been in my head all day. It has been replaying over and over; the great first half, the outstanding defensive effort against the most efficient offense in basketball, the regular "halftime feeling of impending doom," the subsequent collapse, the many "Wow, they could pull this out!" moments that threw my brain back to mid-December mode, the dunks, the offensive foul, the non-offensive foul, and 1-11. I even had enough time and psychosis to remember that Bill Walker outplayed Paul Pierce in the first quarter of last night's game!

It's been so drilled into my brain that I can't sleep and all I've been doing to remedy the situation is watching "Parks & Recreation" (which, to be honest with you, seems like a rip-off of The Office), and looking up youtube videos. Not particularly great youtube videos, as is customary for 4am, but ones that have been popping into my brain as a byproduct of constant this constant "Knicks in 60" Nightmare that's parading across the inside of my eyelids like a gaggle of teenagers on mischief night (a murder of teenagers? A rhumba of teenagers? I'm sure Seth is going to suggest "parliament"). I feel as though some of you may be reading this at work tomorrow/today with a little preoccupation yourselves. For this reason, I present to you twelve Knicks-related Youtube videos, from this season and beyond, that may give you a more peaceful perspective on the upcoming second game of the series. Well, either peaceful or far, far more malicious. I'm all about polarity!

Hop.

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That's right, it is happening: Seth Rosenthal is growing up before our very eyes! Last year I put up an embarrassing photo of Seth, and this year Gian and I are planning to do the same, on a slightly larger scale. Here's a few pictures I found of Seth via Facebook, and a short summary of what's happening in them. Gian's got something for you as well. I got to see a preview of it, and let's just say both of my ankles hurt! Hmm....

Also, let this act as a thread to wish Seth a happy birthday, share a birthday memory, or say whatever you want on this, the day our creator was the createe!

This is the youngest picture I could find of Seth. He appears to be well on his way to the mental state which now haunts him.

Continue the celebration!

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Here's Charles with a li'l primer on the REAL centerpiece of last night's blockbuster deal. I'd also like to submit this for those of you unfamiliar with his Humptyness.-Seth

I became a basketball fan years ago, but that many years ago. I didn't seriously start following professional basketball (actually, I'm almost never serious about it) until about 2006, and my first "favorite player" was Renaldo Balkman. As everyone may know by now, as a bi-product of his spectacular play, Rajon Rondo was taken one pick after Balkman, who was selected with the 20th overall pick in the first round of the 2006 draft. While he may be headed to the hall of fame sometime within many of our lifetimes, Rajon Rondo will never, ever amaze me more than Renaldo Balkman has. I would like to take the opportunity to explore some of Balkman's past and theorize about his future.

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Simple question. You can list them, describe them, whatever. The only thing I ask is that you don't criticize other peoples' opinions. Music is a big deal to a lot of people, so have discussions, not arguments. I'll post mine up whenever I can put them in some sort of order!

No, this post has nothing to do with the Knicks, but you can relate it to the team if that would make you happier!

<3 You guys!

Although my first choice also would have been Outkast, for variety's sake I'll go with Happy Valentine's Day! It's Monday (again!), so news is happening (still!), and Seth has everything covered on that front, from Earl Barron to Walt Frazier interviews, So, I decided to take time out of my Brain & Human Nature class to get in the brain of our favorite Walsh, Donnie, and try to figure out what is going through his mind in terms of trading for Carmelo Anthony. As per usual, unlike Gian's statistical analysis and Seth's newsy updates, I cannot contribute any sort of reality, but mostly questions to make you think and dated cultural references.

So let's let the dogs out and live la vida loca! Spice Girls!

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Good evening, parasites. We got a barn-burner tonight, baby! We get to see how the Knicks deal with the relative "size" of the New Jersey Nets without Amar'e Stoudemire. Hopefully Timo Mozgov gets about 45 shot attempts up, for the sake of the viewing audience.

This is the well-written NetsDaily.

Back to the winning way? Let's hope so! Tip-off's at 7!

This game was truly the Bees' Knees.

Ronny Turiaf stepped up to play the best game I've ever seen out of him, presumably spurred by his return to the Pacific Northwest (Hey Gonzaga!). The Knicks played a decent first half, leading virtually the entire time. The second half, however, played host to incredible Knicks defense. You read that correctly. With major contributions from all five starters, the Knicks wound up running away with this one. So, so many alley-oops. Make the jump!

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