I love lists, I love the Bulls. What better way to join the two in holy matrimony? Also, this is going to be long, so bear with me. 

10. Joakim Noah bashes Cleveland:

9. Good Job, Kirk

via cdn0.sbnation.com (Protocol's Fanshot)

8. Luol Deng wtfbbq ownage of LeBron James

7. Derrick Rose scats on Goran Dragic, Stacey King has multiple orgasms:

6. Derrick Rose cocks it and rocks it in Atlanta:

5. Derrick Rose...um yeah you know the drill.

4. Derrick Rose obliterates Derek Fisher

3. Taj "YOU MAD?" Gibson nails down the clutch 3.

2. Derrick Rose nouns verbs adjectives Tyreke Evans

1. KABOOM....ka-boom

I had originally meant to scour some gamethreads and such for hilarious comments but the search function sucks and we post a lotttt. Just like to extend my thanks to YFBB for being the most unfriendly, pessimistic, surly, sarcastic and IMO best basketball blogger out there. It takes a special brand of nerd to do this job and I'm glad it's not me keeping the trolls at bay. Happy New Year's to all of BaB land. 

[Thanks to Ozzie Montana for today's game preview. Merry Christmas! -ed.]

*Cue John Tesh music, Ahmad Rashad on the sidelines, Peter Vescey and Bob Costas in the studio, Spike Lee mugging for the camera*

BOGANS, MOZGOV. IT'S THE BULLS AND KNICKS AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN ON THE NBA ON NBC.

(I know Bill Simmons gets all cunty when someone riffs on jokes that he no doubt invented, so here's your credit). 

For must of us, Bulls-Knicks is what we grew up on. It's what turned us from mere Michael Jordan aficionados into die-hard Bulls fans that foamed at the mouth at any mention of Anthony Mason, John Starks, or Xavier McDaniel. No, this isn't our childhood Bulls/Knicks rivalry but what we do have is a meeting of two young, exciting teams on the upswing. Our beautiful Bulls of Chicago, and the Knicks from some city I've never heard of and most likely has nothing to offer besides pimps and CHUDs.

The days of the Knicks being a national punchline are sadly behind us, but fortunately Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni have turned this long dormant team into one of the most exciting shows in the NBA. Spurned by LeBron and Wade, they still manged to sign Amar'e Stoudemire to finally give New York that star attraction they've been desperate for. While the production increase from David Lee to Stoudemire may not have been worth the overpay, there's no denying STAT has brought a sense of winning and dare I say it, professionalism to a ballclub that's rarely sniffed it. After a very slow start that had Amar'e questioning the heart of his teammates, they responded with a huge winning streak. We've seen them fall back to Earth a little bit after tough home losses to Boston and Miami last week, but this is still a very dangerous team for our shorthanded Bulls. Stoudemire is an offensive machine as usual, and weak on defense and the boards. Raymond Felton and Wilson Chandler have been rejuvenated by the D'Antoni machine, posting big scoring numbers on high efficiency. Danilo Gallinari is still not showing much besides an excellent shooting touch. Someone named Landry Fields has turned into the poor man's Shawn Marion. I predict he annoys us for a long time to come. 

Anyone who has watched the Suns and Knicks for the past 5-6 years knows exactly what kind of team this is. They push the pace to the point of exhausting their opponent. Quick shots are the norm, and almost exclusively pick and roll in the halfcourt with Felton and Stoudemire. Fields, Gallinari, and Chandler can all shoot the 3 with consistency and off the bench we all remember what happens when Toney Douglas catches fire. On the other side of the ball, the Knicks either don't care or don't know how to defend. 23rd in team defense (worse than any of the SSOL Suns teams), allowing teams to shoot 47% from the field and 38% from behind the arc. As with any D'Antoni team they are small up front and if bullied enough can be taken care of. 

Unfortunately, a game where the physicality of Noah and Boozer, complemented by Asik and Taj would have been a huge advantage has turned into a scenario where the Bulls just might have to beat the Knicks at their own game. Stoudemire is a matchup nightmare for us. Put Kurt Thomas on him and he just blows right past and gets to the hoop. Put Boozer on and you risk putting your 2nd best player in serious foul trouble. Neither Taj or Omer have the physicality or benefit from the refs to contain him as well. Fortunately, Boozer should be able to match Amare's production considering he'll be guarded by the smaller Landry Fields. The key to winning, as always, is how much can Derrick Rose dominate this game? We've seen how much the floor opens up when Boozer gets it going in the post, Derrick needs to take advantage of a defense that isn't going to put up much resistance. This is a matchup of two distinct philosophies. Can the Bulls ugly it up with their 3rd ranked D or will we see them succumb to the fast pace like their previous matchup in November? 

I liked this matchup a lot better when Noah was healthy. Now, the teams look evenly matched with the obvious wildcard that there's an MVP candidate on either side that can go off and dominate this game. My prediction: Bulls 14940493850303.4, Knicks -0.5.

Now, some highlights to get you in the festive mood:

[Thanks to Ozzie Montana for today's game preview (sign up!). Taj Gibson is optimistic that he'll play tonight. Unexpectedly it's Derrick Rose (and his neck) who may miss the game. Game is at 8 on CSNChicago. -ed.]

The Circus Trip of Pleasant Surprises reaches its penultimate matchup with the NuggOMGMELOMELOets. With a win tonight, the Bulls can clinch their first winning circus trip since Bill Wennington was in uniform. Signs point to a struggle but as we've already learned countless times in a young season this team has more cojones than the average BaB commenter (cough SoulEater7 sin cough). Follow me through the jump for a tale of romance, intrigue and international espionage!

Now, on to the opponent. The Nuggets are in a weird place right now. We all know about Carmelo "I'm not Chris Bosh but I'm also too big of a pansy to actually force my way out even though I hate Denver and will obviously sign with the Knicks next season" Anthony's drama this season. But he's playing at a high level once again, even improving his efficiency a tad bit and making a nice jump in the rebounding totals. I'm still not seeing any real effort on defense but according to some people Carmelo is super amazing at everything, he just chooses not to excel in every facet of the game. We'll probably see a lot more of Nene in this game, who is doing his thing and beasting offensively. Chris "Faces of Meth" Andersen has also returned to the lineup and provides his usual dose of rebounding/shot blocking and horrific body art. Aaron Afflalo has turned into a very solid player, a great outside shooter and physical defender. But after that, there isn't much to write home about this team. JR Smith is as erratic as ever shooting the ball and apparently has decided to mix it up with George Karl for the 99999th time. Chauncey "Call me Mr. Big Shot even though I have played like absolute horseshit in almost every playoff series since 2005 because I'm an ugly piece of ass that flops my way to points because I can't score like a real man" Billups has fallen off a cliff in terms of productivity. 34% from the field and less than 5 assists a game. His play has gotten so poor that Nuggets fans are even calling for his benching. Nothing pleases me more than seeing the downfall of anyone affiliated with the 2000s era Pistons so I hope he continues to suck massive ass. Ty Lawson is having a down year after a terrific rookie debut and Al Harrington is a Ninja Turtle. 

As for the Bullies, we know the script with this team. They'll either start hot or cold, the bench will come in and suck or awesome-ify and the rest of the game will be spent either giving away a lead or clawing away at a deficit. I'm not really sure how this team gets a blowout against a talented opponent in a tough physical environment. Luol Deng hitting some fucking shots past the fucking 1st fucking quarter would really fucking help, motherfucker. Rose is playing at a high level but if we're holding him to superstar standards he's got to get more efficient. More trips to the line, more aggressive drives that free up open shots, more layups that turn the crowd into Bulls fans. Noah is more powerful than Raptor Jesus so I fear for my life dare I criticize (Jo calm down when you get the ball in the post it's not a race). Keith Bogans and CJ Watson are awful, awful people. Why do they hurt me so much when all I ever did was shower them with love? Korver brings the sexy and hopefully a big game in Phoenix will get him on a hot streak. Brewer has big ears and big dunks, plays smart defense and FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT JUST START HIM THIBS BOGANS IS SO BAD HE REALLY IS COME ON.

I'm pretty sure this is just rambling now so to wrap it up I don't think this game ends well for Chicago. Too many minutes, players maybe looking ahead to heading back home in a few days, playing in high altitude against a guy who can score 40 while looking like he's half-asleep. The Thibs' Bulls will never give up on a game and that's an incredible trait but I feel like this is one of those times where if they get down big early you might want to think about the bigger picture. 

Or, Rose can just teabag everyone and they can win, making me look stupid in the process. I won't mind, I really won't.

Visit Denver Stiffs and Roundball Mining Company and give them some page views. 

Ed: Thanks to the excellent Ozzie Montana for today's preview! ~S2

Ah, Portland. The anointed "Team on the rise with young, humble talent that makes you warm inside" for the past several years have gone relatively unnoticed since every blogger and sportswriter in existence has decided that Kevin Durant is in fact a holy union of Jesus and Krishna. But as one of the remaining undefeated teams they present another formidable challenge for our offensively challenged Bulls. Will Chicago flash that gumption we saw against Detroit or will we be treated to another November massacre at the hands of Portland?

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