Listen up you little jerk. Stop trying to derail our number one goalie's career. First, the Leafs actually get the most sought after player outside of the NHL. Then, we find out that Fabian Brunnstrom is looking like a bust. And Gustavsson follows that up with some great tending in the rookie tournament.

So things were looking pretty good before you decided to teach us about biology before someone with first-hand experience simultaneously terrified and satisfied us that you weren't going to stop working. But not so fast right? So far this year you've taken our lanky Swedish goalie away twice and left us with Vesa Toskala as our goalie. It's no surprise that things started so epically bad because it must be tough to go from playing in front of The Monster to trying to keep every shot from getting through to Man Purse.

That basically sums it up: Stop being a jerk. I don't want to learn anything else about hearts and ablations and catheters that go in extremely painful ways. Let Jonas Gustavsson show that Brian Burke made one of the signings of the summer.

Matty - is it okay if I call you that? - you're quite the discussion topic in the Barilkosphere. We're not quite sure what we've got in you. Are you putting up more points because of smoke (Antropov) and mirrors (Kessel)? Or are you just naturally developing? A lot of virtual ink has been spilled trying to figure out what to do with you because you're a pending UFA and out-performing your contract by a large margin. It might be nice to keep that going but it won't happen if you try to get paid.

We've watched you grow from a frightened 19 year old scoring in his first NHL game, against Ottawa no less, into a 20-something with a seeming death wish. Look at that hit up there! Yes, you tried to make the play but that kind of hit is usually a momentum changer. You can't jump on the trolley tracks whenever you feel like it because it could cost the Leafs. Not to mention, this is far from the first time you've been lit up like a Christmas tree. Now, it's not so much that the Leafs will shrivel up at the sight of blood like in the past (witness TOMAS KABERLE leading the charge for revenge) but that if you get your brains scrambled we can't trade you for a draft pick at the deadline.

So keep your head up!

Why don't we see more of this?

I'm going to ignore your +/- rating because it's a flawed stat and you rang up most of your current deficit during Vesa Toskala and Joey MacDonald's race to the bottom at the beginning of the year. Toss in a new team, three new defence pairings, and I understand it being a hard transition. And forget about the points totals. Despite a healthy amount of ice-time on the powerplay it was probably a case of fans hoping for too much out of the new guy. The same thing killed Pavel Kubina's time in Toronto.

But here's one thing completely under your control: Hits. So far you're 7th on the team with 42 which is barely above one per game. Mike Komisarek has almost double that total and he's missed eight games! Look at that picture above. That's the kind of hard-nosed, dare I say it...truculent, defencemen we thought we were getting. See this? That is good. Now do it more often.

It is that time of year again

Frank Costanza: "And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!"

Frank Costanza: "The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it. You, Kruger. My son tells me your company STINKS!"

George Costanza: "Oh, God."

- Festivus, Wikipedia

This isn't a scientific fact but I think that the holiday of Festivus is most welcomed among sports fans. After all, every year only one team has nothing to complain about while, in the NHL at least, 29 other teams have plenty of grievances to air. So that's what we are going to do today. If there has been anything bothering you about the Maple Leafs over the past calendar year I want you to get it off of your chest.

Use a FanPost to describe how specific players or personnel have disappointed you or a FanShot if you want to use a quotation, picture, video, or link to make your point. Make sure to tag whatever you post with player names and "Festivus".

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Monkey See Monkey Do

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Despite receiving yet another solid goaltending performance from Not Toskalol the Toronto Maple Leafs found a way to cough up a 2-1 lead on just two mistakes in the third period and overtime. It's a shame that the Leafs had two brain cramps that led to goals so late in the game because they got away with so many during the second period as they built up their lead.

The first period was reminiscent to the excellent display that the Leafs put on Friday night. The Leafs came out with jump - the lack thereof which has been a serious problem this year - but again were unable to make the advantage count. They actually left the period down a goal on the back of some poor defensive coverage and a howler by Jonas Gustavsson. He has to get his stick down between his legs on that one. Now don't say that I don't criticise The Monster.

The second period was back to the Sabres team we had seen all of last week. The Leafs took control of the game and scored two lucky hard working goals. Toronto tied it on a shot from behind the goal line by Viktor Stalberg. Stalberg shot it towards the front of the net and it deflected off of lanky Sabres Defenseman Tyler Myers and into the net. The second goal would be equally as strange as it deflected off the skate on Ian White who had pinched in from the point and drove hard to the net.

- David Olesky, Die By The Blade

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Toni Lydman has to catch up to Niklas Hagman because he was laughing so hard thinking about the goal he scored.

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As some of you might know, I made the trek down to the Queen City as part of a friend's birthday celebration to catch The Heroes take on the Buffalo Sabres. I tried my best to talk myself into believing that the Leafs had a chance to win and then it was confirmed that Vesa Toskala was starting in net. Right then, my expectations for the game matched the subterranean levels of my expectations for the city itself. Unfortunately, while one was exceeded Toskalol did his best to remind just why I have a series of voodoo dolls with his likeness.

But things didn't have to go that way. In the space of a couple of minutes the wheels fell off:

The Leafs were dominant in the first period and thoroughly outplayed Buffalo in every aspect of the game. It took the Sabres almost 13 minutes to get their first shot on goal and they were outshot 10-4 by the visiting Leafs. The only goal of the period came just over three minutes into the game as Viktor Stalberg scored the first goal of his NHL career on a shot that appeared to deflect off of Craig Rivet.

- David Olesky, Die By The Blade

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AHHHHHH!!! IT'S AN INVASION!

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Thaaaat's what she said. Now that that is out of the way, I will be hitting the road within an hour for an epic sports and gambling weekend that will likely see me cripplingly ill for the second Christmas in a row. The good news is two-fold of course:

1. Presents cheer me up!
2. I am healthy by New Year's Eve

I have only heard good things about...well, the price of beer at the HSBC and the wings at Duff's. I have been to Buffalo so I am well aware of the post-apocalyptic wasteland into which I will be entering but I think that our mix of flamethrowers, flashlights, silver bullets, gold bullion and crucifixes should prepare us for anything that the masses might throw at us.

The last time the Leafs were in Buffalo Grabovski scored that late equaliser to send the home invading hordes into rapture. I can only hope for a repeat. Hope really is all we have considering the Leafs are 5-9-2 at Alphabet Arena since the lockout with 39 goals for and 56 goals against. Narrow that down to a Friday night and the Leafs are only 3-4-1 with a 22/26 split. Take out the 2005-2006 season and the Leafs are 3-2-1 with 18 goals for and 15 against. YES!

Basically, it's a coin flip whether I'll be drinking to celebrate or drinking to numb the pain. Either way, the vendor in my section wins and that's important because living in Buffalo means he wasn't born on third thinking he had hit a triple but he was born on the bench with a couple of strikeouts to his name.

Anway, onto the actual game, Stalberg has been called up and will be on the ice while Luke Schenn is back in the lineup ready to reap a harvest of souls as part of his return to the lineup after three games spent stewing at the thought that Garnet Exelby might actually be better than him. I actually feel really good about this!...

Miller has also stoned the Leafs in two previous meetings this season, allowing only two goals. Toronto has now lost seven consecutive times to the Sabres dating back to last season.

Oh for the love of Christ...Go Leafs Go!