SB Nation User Blog: Panjandrum

Where in the World is PJ?

Panjandrum — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:43:09 -0000

Just to prove to all of you that I'm not dead (or Scott Pioli), I wanted to check in.

It's been several weeks since I last posted anything outside of a game thread, so I wanted to let you all in on a little secret...

I'm working with Dan Hawkins on a new playbook for the Colorado Buffaloes.

Now, before you get all jealous and/or inquisivite, I must let you know that it's a "concept playbook". Much like "The Wall" was a concept album for Pink Floyd, and "Kilroy Was Here" propelled Dennis DeYoung to the completely unsuccessful solo career everyone predicted after he left Styx, I am working with Dan to revolutionize college football with the power of "grooveadelic funkaliciousness."

Dan came to me shortly after the season ended and asked for my help because, well, truthfully, he stumbled upon BOTC while looking for a website about cats (like most of the people who subscribe to our Twitter feed), and he liked how I knew absolutely nothing about football. Considering that he doesn't either, he thought we should team together to come up with a playbook that captures the essence of George Clinton, Afrika Bambaataa, and Bootsy Collins. Me, having nothing better to do with my spare time, said, "Hell. Yes."

So, I apologize for the lack of content. Right now, I'm being tasked to create about fifty pages of the playbook from the following video. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, so any suggestions would be helpful.

See you on the flip side.

I did an interview for a Dayton blog

Panjandrum — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:08:18 -0000

I did an interview for a Dayton blog

You can read it here. They seemed like nice guys, and their website is a pretty humorous read.

A little refresher...

Panjandrum — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:24:35 -0000

The Unholy Alliance Suspended!

Panjandrum — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:19:54 -0000

As some of you know, we hold our friends over at Rock M Nation in the highest regard. However, there are a few times a year when we must suspend the Unholy Alliance due to the impending clash between our beloved Kansas State Wildcats and their Missouri Tigers.

So, with that in mind, we hereby suspend the Unholy Alliance until the conclusion of the game this Saturday.

Game on.

Open Game Thread: KSU vs. Pitt State

Panjandrum — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:59:11 -0000

It's a preseason game, so we won't go nuts with the visuals. Comment away.

Intial Post Game Response

Panjandrum — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:39:12 -0000

U2 - Beautiful Day - Official Music Video HD (via Lucas87Official)

Post Game Reaction: Texas A&M

Panjandrum — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 02:35:34 -0000

More photos » by Charlie Riedel - AP

2 months ago: Kansas State running back Daniel Thomas (8) leaps into the end zone to score a touchdown during the second quarter of an NCAA college football game against Texas A&M Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009 in Manhattan, Kan. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

Browse more photos »

If I told you three weeks ago that three games into the conference season, KSU would be first place in the North, would you have believed me? Especially if I told you that in one of those three games, KSU would lose a game by fifty-two points?

Probably not.

However, due to the cripple fight that is the North division, KSU stands alone on top of the conference standings, and the supposed "powers" (and I use that term loosely) all sit at either 1-1 or 0-2. Granted, it's early in the conference season, and things can change during any given week, but right now, KSU looks to be sitting in good shape considering that three of their four remaining home games against the North teams are in the comfy confines of "The Bill". Also, KSU got that priceless "South win" that only teams who play the recently neutered Baylor Bears seem to get.

But that's enough putting the cart ahead of the horse. In the meantime, all Wildcat fans can rejoice over the 62-14 win over Texas A&M, and Aggie fans can finally come to the realization that Mike Sherman is an awful football coach.

KSU impressed in almost every single facet of the game Saturday night, and their domination at the line of scrimmage, on defense, and in special teams was matched only by the cruel efficiency in the way the Kansas State offense, especially Daniel Thomas, found a way to put the ball in the end zone. Honestly, it was the kind of game you dream of having as a coach; you ask your team to create turnovers (A&M had five to KSU's zero), score points off of those mistakes, and make the other team easy to defend by making them one dimensional (A&M had -13 yards rushing). When Coach Snyder and his staff look at the tape, I'm sure they'll have some things to critique (a couple of A&M touchdowns in the second half are good film to break down), but most likely, they'll look at the tape and say, "Well, uh, good job. That's kind of what we're looking for."

The one thing that surprised me last night was the relative ease in which KSU was able to move the ball. I know that A&M isn't the greatest defensive team in the world, but KSU was able to move the ball seemingly at will, which if you've watched any KSU game this year, that's about as shocking as sticking your hand into a light socket after hosing yourself down. Does it mean KSU finally turned the corner offensively to the point where they can finally rely on the offense to help them win games and not be a hindrance? Or does it mean that KSU just had a good night against a really bad team?

Hit the jump to figure out what we think it means and how the rest of the conference fared on this wacky weekend.

What it means and where we're going...

KSU scored 62 points last night and gained 424 yards. Not only did they move the ball with little trouble, but they racked up 232 rushing yards in the process. This team executed the desired game plan with perfection; run to set up the pass, and on those few pass attempts, make them count. Grant Gregory completed 10-13 passes for 147 yards with one touchdown, and Carson Coffman was 5-6 with 45 yards in the air in the second half. KSU was balanced, they were efficient, and they didn't turn the ball over. That is exactly the kind of game plan that KSU needs to execute every single week, and it's the kind of game plan that will win them the necessary five games for bowl eligibility.

Defensively, KSU simply looked faster and more athletic than A&M. Jeffrey Fitzgerald was a beast on the edge with five tackles and 2.5 tackles for loss (which accumulated to 30 yards). Josh Moore was absolutely brilliant in the secondary with four tackles, 1.5 tackles for loss, one interception, and three pass breakups. Even the often inconsistent linebackers found their way to the ball carrier with speed, and they were sure tacklers when they got there. Every part of the defense was on point last night with the exception of two second half drives (six total plays) that resulted in 137 yards for the Aggies. Otherwise, it was the most dominant performance against a Big 12 team that KSU fans have seen since a 58-7 thrashing of ISU in 2002.

It's pretty easy to get excited after your team dominates a conference foe in every single facet of the game, but given how inconsistent KSU has been in their previous six games, the editorial staff at BOTC will remain cautiously optimistic. Will this momentum carry over into next week's pivotal game against Colorado? Or will this be an aberration that we can write off as an instance where a coaching legend mind raped the only guy that ever found a way to lose with Brett Favre?

I'd love to answer that for all of you, but really, I don't have a clue. I think this game shows us that KSU can put together a complete performance, and when they do, they can probably hang with most of the teams in this conference. The fact that we know this is possible could make poor performances in the future less acceptable. Any time you can whip a team in the Big 12 like this, you have talent. It's on the coaches to make sure they continue to get the most out of it.

Previous Opponents

UMass beat the previously unbeaten New Hampshire Wildcats this week to move to 4-2.

Louisiana beat Western Kentucky 30-22 to move to 4-2 and 2-0 in the Sun Belt. However, losing this game is still an abomination regardless of the fact that they are doing well in their conference.

UCLA got drilled by Arizona this week 45-26. UCLA is now 3-3 and winless in the Pac-10.

No one gives a crap about Tennessee Tech. Moving on...

Iowa State and Texas Tech recaps can be found below.

Big 12 Roundup

Texas 16, Oklahoma 13

I'm going to spare you all a long write up about this because I'm as sick of hearing about it as you are. Texas won, Oklahoma lost, it was actually a pretty entertaining game, and Sam Bradford may have played his last game in a Sooner uniform. If any of this is news to you, please crawl out from under your rock and join the rest of civilization.

Texas Tech 31, Nebraska 10

Nebraska actually outgained the Red Raiders this week (285-259), but they couldn't put the ball into the end zone consistently against a quality defense. This is starting to become painfully familiar to the Huskers, and seeing this happen at home was even more painful. Steven Sheffield continues to prove that he's probably better than Taylor Potts as he accounted for three touchdowns...and two of them were rushing! Now that Tech has started to put their season together behind a hot-handed quarterback, and their defense is playing competently, the Oklahoma schools now have a threat for second place in the South division behind the Longhorns. Nebraska simply continued to expose their weaknesses and added more chaos to an already whacked out North division. Of all of the games this week, this was probably the most telling for both teams involved.

Colorado 34, Kansas 30

LOFL. History Awaits...

Oklahoma State 33, Missouri 17

This was a pretty tight game in the first half, but in the second half, the Cowboys simply beat the Tigers into submission on the road by scoring nineteen unanswered points. Blaine Gabbert continued his descent back to Earth with a 22/44, 1 TD/3 INT performance, and the Tigers continued to struggle with the run after gaining only 68 yards on the ground. Oklahoma State didn't really miss Dez Bryant after Hubert Anyiam hauled in ten catches for 119 yards and a touchdown. The Cowboys moved to 2-0 in conference while the Tigers fell to 0-2.

Iowa State 24, Baylor 10

I really have no idea what happened in this game because watching any Baylor game without Robert Griffin is like going to the dentist and having a root canal without any sort of local anesthesia. On the plus side, Iowa State won their first conference game since November 10, 2007. The honest truth is that this probably saved ISU from being considered as the worst team in the conference this season, so you have to give them kudos for that.

Adventures of the Big 12: Texas Tech (Part 1)

Panjandrum — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:54:23 -0000

In keeping up with the flashbacks and origin stories of our friends from the Adventures series, we continue with this week's opponent, Texas Tech.

I won't bore you with any pre-jump filler. Click it if you dare...

Texas Tech was driving back to Lubbock late one evening on US-84 when the wind started whipping and a hard rain began to envelop his Camaro in a blanket of water. It wasn't more than two minutes before he realized that it would be a very, very good idea to pull over to the side of the road and wait it out, and as luck would have it, he happened upon a rest area at the side of the road. At a glance, he noticed that another car had pulled off as well, but the lights were off, and it didn't look like it was running. Therefore, he assumed that it must have been there for awhile.

As he parked next to it, he noticed that it wasn't the average car you see headed down a highway in West Texas. It was a black, 1966 Ford Thunderbird with white leather interior, chrome wheels that shined even in the dark, rainy night, and a decorative license plate frame that said, "Honk if yaaaarrrrr crazy about pirates!" Intrigued, and somewhat frightened, about who could own such a vehicle, Tech decided to go inside. Also, he had to piss because he bought (and finished) a 44 oz. Dr. Pepper at a Stuckey's outside of Sweetwater.

Once he got inside, he quickly peered around to make sure no one was waiting in the shadows with a weapon looking for a man to kill, rape, and wear as a shawl. The coast appeared to be clear, so he parked himself in front of a surprisingly clean American Standard urinal, and he proceeded to relieve himself. Over the sound of urine hitting the porcelain, he could hear a squeaking sound intermittently coming from the stall near the end of the room. A short squeak, short squeak, and then a longer one proceeded for the next couple of minutes as Tech finished up his business. After washing his hands, he moved towards the door, and out of nowhere, the man in the stall screamed, "EUREKA!!!" at the top of his lungs.

Thinking that the man either dropped a turd the size of a small ferret, or he just finished some other unspeakable act in the stall, he quickly grabbed the door handle. But before he could open it, the man busted out of his stall, and he screamed at Tech, "Hold on! Don't go! I have to show you something!!!" Completely convinced that this man was now either going to rape him or make him eat a five pound shit ferret, he opened the door and ran out into the pouring rain. As he ran to his car, he slipped on a wet oil slick and fell down, knocking his head on the pavement. Everything started to fade to black as the feel of cold, hard raindrops streamed down his face, and in a few seconds, he passed out.

When he finally came to, he found himself propped up against the far wall of the men's room, near the stall where the crazy guy burst from before he passed out. This time, however, the door was open, and he could see that the man wasn't taking a shit or rubbing on his shaft; he was using a dry erase marker to draw all over the stall walls. And, much to his surprise, it wasn't an advertisement for a good time or pictures of stick figures having anal sex, but football plays. Dozens of them. And they were some of the craziest looking things you'd ever seen. There were wide splits, the quarterback was always in the shotgun, and for some reason, as he was drawing them, the crazy man would mutter "distribution" over and over again as he looked at his play and moved the routes around.

Tech finally had all of his wits about him, and he started asking questions. Who are you? Why are you acting like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind? Where is the goddamn fullback?

The man stared back and said, "My name is Mike Leach. I stopped by the side of the road because I wanted to work through these plays before I forgot them. Fullbacks are a thing of the past."

Tech then asked, "Where are you headed?"

Leach said, "Lubbock. I'm the new head football coach at Texas Tech"

Texas Tech smiled.

Shane Southwell Commits to KSU

Panjandrum — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:28:49 -0000

(H/T - ZAGSBLOG) New York, New York Guard/Forward, Shane Southwell, committed to KSU.

Here's a great quote from the article:

"I went there last weekend [Sept. 25-26]," Southwell said. "The whole campus is beautiful. The teammates were great, the coaching staff was great. The fans were crazy. They love their basketball and their football."

You bet it's beautiful. Manhattan (our Manhattan at least) is the jewel of the Flint Hills.

Anyway, here's some YouTubage on the newest member of K-State's 2011 recruiting class.

Shane Southwell (Rice) (via HSSMTV)

Open Game Thread: FARMAGEDDON!!!

Panjandrum — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:03:42 -0000

Yeah, we're running behind. Click the jump to get started on the discussion.