boobs recently hypothesized that our friend Johnnypronto is actually Homer Bailey stalking this website and (ahem) yanking our chains:

actually, i think pronto is just homer f***ing with us

It led me to wonder whether that could possibly be the case, but then I wondered whether Homer Bailey would buy a shirt like this, never having mentioned his faith, to my knowledge.  I decided that being reticent about one's faith probably would be inconsistent with wearing a shirt like that.

I personally had explored the possibility that Johnnypronto was actually Dusty Baker blogging from the dugout, but then I reconsidered, since he appeared to actually have done more than merely "listen" to the way Homer was pitching.  I give Johnnypronto credit for that.

I then wondered, given his hard-headedness regarding the official definition of what is a "quality start" (6 IP, with less than 3 ER) and his single-minded focus on the topic of Homer Bailey, whether he might be Michael, but then I realized that he did not display the same tendencies with respect to posting inane diaries about his single subject. 

Thoughts of Michael led me to suspect that Johnnypronto was actually NEILYNG in disguise.  I dismissed those thoughts when I realized that he did not tend to use ALL CAPS or references to baby-boomer rock in his posts, nor did he ever ask anyone to "eat a peach" or "build a bridge and get over it."

I then thought, who would want both Daryl Thompson and Homer Bailey demoted to AAA?  Who would want Harang to get an MRI?

Therefore, my working hypothesis is that he is actually Josh Fogg.

Any other theories?

I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads.

I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads. I hate slow threads.

Inspired by Brendan's comment last night, I thought it would be a good idea to settle the important issue of which mustache is the definitive Red Reporter Official Mustache.  I did not include people who are not going to stick around for long (Jason Ellison) or people who don't seem to be making an effort to actually have a mustache but have a beard and a bit of 5:00 shadow on their upper lip (Arroyo, Harang, etc.).  So who's got the best mustache on the Reds?  boobs is not a choice this time, because I find the concept itself somewhat disturbing.

Is it the classic LLM mustache?

Or is it the up-and-coming "Cantustache"?

Everyday Eddie?

The Most Valuable Mustache for 2007?

NoHo, the scrappiest mustache on the team?

In all fairness, I had to add McJeffsky's Bucco Bruce look, but I doubt it's anyone's favorite (and according to Bubbafan, it's been shaved off):

  Why do people love baseball?  I love baseball because I can watch players that loaf all the time and don't care at all and even suck doing it.  I like players with "large intestine," not heart.

  The difference is that I only care about those who don't care for the game, or the ones who are too good for practice.  I don't care about the ones who care enough to give the fans what they paid for, effort.  No.  Give me the guy who loafs and doesn't care, because those who do care sometimes rely on heart, but if you have a heart, you might not get ahead, and if you get ahead, you might win by a nose, and if you win by a nose, you can avoid defeat, and if you avoid defeat, you might get Coutlangus...

     Chicks dig hustle and dirty uniforms.  We have all heard that saying.  Well, I dig the loafer who sucks at what he does.  I love the players who don't care about what people think about them and just have the courage, the large intestine, to let it all hang out in the end and say to the fans, "Screw you.  I know I suck, but I make more money than you can ever even dream of seeing, and I am really going to hurt your favorite ballclub."  That's the power of large intestine for you.  I want someone who will never risk injury and give his 20% and furthermore suck and hurt the team doing it.  Is that too much to ask?  Those that don't care will be forever admired by baseball fans like me.  Baseball players who are great players, but who do care will be loved by millions.  I guess those players would rather be loved by millions.  But, could you imagine if those great players didn't care?  They could singlehandedly sink an entire season for a team.  How great they could be.

     I will leave you with one final thought.  The hustle players get by with the talent and hustle that God gave them, but it takes a truly great man to just skate by with the minimum and sow dissension in a clubhouse.  Those are the true warriors get by with what God gave us all, large intestine.

Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.
Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.
Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.
Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.  Just for Zach.

(If anyone else wants to post here, they can too.)

According to this story, Scott Proctor, a New York Yankees relief pitcher, set fire to his glove after a 7-0 loss to the Oakland A's on Saturday.

According to the article:

Proctor carried his personal game equipment out to the field long after Saturday's 7-0 loss to Oakland and set it ablaze on the gravel outside the New York dugout, leading to tabloid headlines of "Proctor All Fired Up" and "Proctor in shambles, burns glove."

"It was all just a joke, man, I mean really," Proctor said. "Just something I've done in the past."

Proctor, who said he couldn't remember if the fire worked when he was struggling in Triple-A, pitched 1 1-3 scoreless innings in the Yankees' 11-5 loss to Oakland on Sunday. He got a mixed reaction from the Yankee Stadium crowd when he entered in the eighth inning.

He had allowed six runs and 10 hits in his previous 4 1-3 innings.

Wow.  Six runs in 4 1/3 innings (a 12.46 ERA) is actually pretty good for Gary McJeffsky (who has a 15.88 ERA) and all in a day's work for most other Reds' relievers.

If Proctor burned his glove, what should be burned to right the Reds' bullpen?

In a departure from tradition, boobs is not a choice in the poll, although you can write him (or anyone else) in.

When you can run?

OK.  I have to give credit where credit is due.

Jerry Narron is not as much of a moron as I had first thought.

From the Enquirer:

"HOP ON TOP: Norris Hopper is an ideal leadoff guy in that he doesn't strike out much. He can run and he's an excellent bunter. He's not an ideal leadoff guy in that his batting average was exactly the same as his on-base percentage going into Wednesday's game: .286, meaning no walks in 49 at-bats.

"'Hop's done a good job for us,' Jerry Narron said. 'He puts the ball in play. But he doesn't get the bases on balls you'd like to see from a speed guy'" (emphasis mine).

Hey.  That's progress.  Narron actually appreciates that you need OBP from your speed guy in order to have him hitting leadoff with any effectiveness.

Whether he actually does anything with that knowledge is another matter entirely.

Geki put up a nice post last night regarding the state of the Reds thus far, and it had a lot of good points in it, especially about Dunn.

He also made a proposal (which I think makes a lot of sense) that we now refer to the relief pitchers by letter instead of name, since they all stink so bad right now.  I think this is a wonderful idea.  Here is my stab at assigning letters:

Cormier - F (naturally) Update [2007-4-20 12:53:40 by Paul Householder]: (can also be "U", "H" or "R")
Weathers - E (what we say when he comes in)
Stanton - B (about right if you were to grade his performance thus far)
Coffey - P (what you do when you have too much coffey)
Coutlangus - X (of course)
Santos - O (a nice surprise thus far)
Saarloos - L (what seems to result when he comes in)
Bray - I (for incomplete)
McJeffsky - D (as in DL)

Feel free to chime in if you have other proposals or just want to rant and rave about the bullpen.

Whoops, didn't see this, and really PH summed things up pretty well here. - JD

Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.  Cormier = Coffey = Crap.

According to the Enquirer, Reds fans will not have to worry about Joe Mays any more, because he has signed a minor league contract with the Dodgers:

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070208/SPT0401/702080333/1072/SPT04

Actually, given how much of a pitcher's park Dodger Stadium is, he will probably post a 3.50 ERA there.  He will also probably beat the Reds at least once, since he is now a Tomo Ohka All-Star, having graduated from the Jimmy Haynes All-Stars.  Therefore, Reds fans should truly fear the dreaded West Coast swing.

IMHO, the real problems on offense started when Krivsky traded away a shortstop who could provide offense (though he clearly had issues on defense) (Lopez) and a RF who could provide decent offense and good defense on an everyday basis (Kearns) and replaced them with a shortstop who could neither play offense or provide defense (McClayton) and a non-run producing RF who would be better if they played him a bit less (Freel).

I think that to solve the problems on offense, you have to start with those two positions.

In right, perhaps a platoon of Denorfia and Freel (who both seem to be guys who are best at about 110-130 games a year) would work out, although the offense lost because of Kearns is not being replaced.  The Reds would be even better if they platooned in CF and Junior moved over to a corner spot.

At short, you almost have to go with a Julio Lugo to provide the pop that is necessary from that position to get things back on an even keel offensively.  He is the nearest equivalent to Lopez, offensively, that is out there.  That's why guys like Tejada, Jeter, Utley, (@#$%%*&) Bill Hall, Jose Reyes and A-Rod (playing SS) are so valuable; they provide offense from a traditionally defense-oriented position and greatly increase your ability to accept less offense from other positions.

Trading Dunn for pitching help would only compound the problem.  If Dunn were traded, the Reds would need someone with close to equivalent production to replace him.  It is not enough to replace a 40-homer, 95 RBI guy with two guys who can hit 20 homers and knock in 60 apiece, since there are only eight positions that can be filled, and if you have a zero at SS (which will be the case if they don't go for Lugo), it becomes even more important to "conserve" positions.  Run producers are in short supply on the FA market this year (Soriano, Lee, Thomas, maybe Nomar if you can stand the injury risk, and that's about it).  Furthermore, everyone but Lee does not fill the position Dunn would vacate, and their yearly salaries are likely north of the $10 million that is owed Dunn in 2007.

Therefore, unless Krivsky is prepared to make a huge splash and sign a Soriano-type run producer, he really should not trade Dunn unless he gets a run producer back.  Now signing Soriano and putting him at second, moving BP to short (all other things remaining the same) would instantly make the Reds into serious contenders in the NL Central, but that would never happen.

Apparently, there are limits as to the idiocy that WLW will tolerate from Andy Furman.  He was fired today by ClearChannel (WLW's parent) for calling T.J. Houshmandzadeh a racist:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2646828

I can't say that I will miss the guy.  Any differing opinions?

Shea was really raucous last night.  It really is a home-field advantage at this point (unlike LA, where it seemed like people were pretty much sitting on their hands a lot of the time).  Everyone was hyped-up, and it felt like we hardly sat down the entire game.

The special powers are definitely working.

In the bottom of the 7th, while waiting in line, I heard Braden Looper's name announced (both by the PA and by the crowd, chanting, "Looooooooper Looooooooper").

I said to the guy waiting in line next to me, "Braden Looper..."

He says, sarcastically, "Yeah.  I think we know the guy."

I said, "Yep.  Two runs this inning."

Turns out I thought I was going to be wrong, because he retired Valentin and Chavez very quickly, but in typical Braden Looper fashion, he gave up a single to Michael (.196) Tucker, who stole second, a single to Reyes, who stole second also, putting men on 2nd and 3rd with two outs for Lo Duca, who grounded one into center for a two-run single.  The place goes absolutley nuts.

In the 6th, with one man out, Maine gives up a leadoff walk to Jim Edmonds.  After retiring Encarnacion, Maine is lifted for Chad Bradford.  People are buzzing as to why Willie is doing that, but they give Maine a well-deserved standing ovation.  I say to my friend, "He's bringing in Bradford to get the ground ball and get the DP.  He's a submarining right hander."  Rolen then grounds into a double play.

If Mota gets into the game tonight, I am going to keep my mouth shut.

I am wondering why Endy Chavez and Jose Reyes (and anyone else on the Mets with any speed at all other than Beltran) don't constantly bunt to first to try for base hits.  Pujols is hurting badly and can barely run.  Making him run in, plant, spin and throw constantly will make his life absolutely miserable.  Of course, with Reyes, you give up the possibility of a home run (like last night's leadoff homer) by doing that, but his primary responsibility is to get on base and create havoc with his speed, and a leadoff home run would kill the rally anyway.

Nice xnij jinx by ohiobobcat also.

A few observations:

Jeff Weaver seems to have become a decent pitcher for the Cards.  He was keeping the Mets hitters off-balance all night with a bunch of different fastballs and a nasty curve and changeup.

There were a couple of Cardinals fans in my section, but they got some New York "hospitality."  The sign they brought did not last long.

I think my special powers are working against the Cards, because in the sixth, right after Lo Duca got on with a hit, I said, to my friend that Beltran would hit a home run.  After running the count to 1-2, he threw a ball in the dirt to try to get Beltran to chase it.  He then threw one right down main street, and Beltran hit it off the scoreboard in right.

Glavine pitched seven scoreless, but he was getting hit pretty hard.  There were a lot of line drives and warning track flyballs hit off him and not too many ground balls.  Bad baserunning by Poo-holes also helped him out.

I am convinced that Guillermo Mota has pictures of Willie Randolph dressed as Little Bo Peep.  He gave up three tying runs in Game 2 of the NLDS.  Tonight, he walked ALS Eckstein on four pitches in the top of the 8th and went 3-0 on Preston Wilson before striking him out.  One more ball, and it would have been two on for Poo-holes.  At some point, he is going to Ryan Franklin the Mets.

Here is my "run" down on how well some of the players did tonight:

Poo-holes:  Not a good game for him.  He sometimes walked to his position, sometimes trotted out halfway, then loped the rest of the way.
Edmonds:  A good game for him.  He jogged to his position every time.
David Wright:  A good game for him.  He jogged to his position.
Beltran:  Not a good game at all, notwithstanding hitting the game winning home run.  He walked to his position most of the time.
Billy Wagner:  Great game.  He ran in from the bullpen.
ALS Eckstein:  Great game.  When he got a walk, he sprinted to first.

Do you think YOU can play baseball better than Adam Dunn?

Or, for that matter, Royce McClayton?

I don't know exactly what this poll would "say" about the readers of Red Reporter...

I guess also that I could ask whether you could pitch better than Chris Michakalaka, but then Brian B would probably say "yes," and that would ruin things, because he probably is right.

If I were Adam Dunn and faced all of this criticism for walking out to my position, I would begin doing all sorts of various different things in order to get to my position, starting next season.  

It would drive those idiots writing this sort of drivel absolutely crazy just trying to figure out what word to use in order to describe what he is doing to go out to his position.

If you were Adam Dunn, how would you reach Left Field from the dugout?

If you can think of more, I'm sure he would welcome the ideas.

It has been a very long time I've been watching baseball, but I do not think I have ever seen worse baserunning than I witnessed in the second inning.

There were men on first and second with nobody out.  Russell Martin gets a hit.  Jeff Kent, who was on second, broke late, but JD Drew, who was on first, broke right away.  Both runners came around third, but the relay was perfect, resulting in the only time I've ever seen two runners thrown out at the plate on a single throw.  JD Drew wasn't even close.  He could have stayed at third and would have been there with one out.  That run wound up being the difference.  I guess Jose Valentin (LLMBro) gets two assists?  Complete and utter pandemonium at Shea.

Willie Randolph also should thank his lucky stars, because he did his best Jerry Morron impersonation.  With Guillermo ("Grandma") Mota having pitched the sixth, his spot in the order came up in the bottom of the 7th with the bases loaded and two outs, with the Mets having already scored two to make it 4-1.  A single would have completly put the game away.  In a Narron-esque "heart" move, he had Mota bat for himself and pop out.  You could hear the heads being scratched in the stadium, because it's not like the Mets were short on bullpen help (Bradford, Heilman and Hernandez all have sub-1.20 WHIPs) and only had Ryan Franklin to pitch in close games...

Uh...wait...hmm...even the Reds have pitchers other than Franklin...but you wouldn't think so, based on how he has been used, huh?

Mota then promptly gave up the tying runs in the top of the 7th.  Great move, Willie.  And I thought Grady Little (whose nickname in Boston was "Gump," BTW) was the stupid one.  If the Mets had lost, people would be calling for Randolph's resignation now.  In any event, at the end of the inning, there was the sort of half-hearted applause for the end of the inning, but I also heard some muttering and boos being choked off, because even New Yorkers can't boo their team in the playoffs.

Grady Little then did his impersonation of Jerry Morron, sending out Brad Penny to pitch the bottom of the 7th.  Figure hey, why not?  Having tied the game and with big Mo on your side, send out a starter who has a bad back, who pitches right-handed, to pitch to LoDuca, Reyes, Beltran and Delgado.  Predictably, he gives up two runs and takes the loss.

Wagner seems a bit off his game.  He was throwing in the 96-98 range for his fastball and in the 87-88 range for his slider.  He was spotting the slider for strikes, but the Dodgers seemed to be all over his fastball, which might be a bit flat.

The food is pretty lousy at Shea (and the beer is pretty darned expen$ive too), except for fries from Nathan's, which are excellent.

Finally, here's a reminder, in case you're thinking of doing this:  Do not wear a Yankees jersey at Shea during the playoffs.  I saw some idiot who did.  It would have been better for him if he had worn a Dodgers jersey.

I thought since Slyde had posted such a positive diary, I could counteract all of that by giving everyone here a place to vent their frustrations at Jerry Morron for his in-game managing disasters.  After all, there are a lot of people who think Jerry is a great manager.

Any Jerry Morron's Greatest Hits list has to start with what he did on August 11, 2006 against the Phillies.  Having replaced a guy who had already hit two home runs in the game (EdE) for defensive purposes in a close game, he found himself in a tie ball game in the 14th inning.  In the bottom of the 14th inning, he inserted struggling (and later we find out, injured) Elizardo Ramirez to face the top of the order, who promptly let the first two men reach on a single and a walk.  Instead of facing Ryan Howard, he decided to walk Howard to get to the pitcher, allowing the winning run to advance to third with nobody out.  Predictably, the winning run scored, and Jerry admitted later that there was a creature called "Dung" who lived inside his head that gave him all of the brilliant managerial ideas and lineups.

I'm sure everyone won't have any trouble coming up with more of Jerry's Greatest Hits, which can come in many categories, including:

It looks like the Reds are talking to Thom Brennaman to fill Steve Stewart's spot.  It would be kind of cool to have father-son in the same booth, although it really depends on what kind of relationship they have outside the booth.

What does everyone think of him as an announcer?  I haven't really heard Thom Brennaman since the late 80s (and I didn't think he was great back then), so I don't really know if this is a good thing or not.

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061002/SPT04/310020053/1071

A lot has been written by and about Michael, International Man of Mystery.

Some think he is not a real person, while others think he might be a mere man beset by demons of his own and hearing little voices inside his head.

Some think he might be Adam from Milwaukee blogging from the dugout.

Some have wondered whether he is really another Red Reporter, posting under a nom de plume.

Whoever he is, he sure is able to write a lot about basically the same topic.  After all, one of his most endearing(?) qualities is that he is often redundant, and a lot of times he says the same thing twice.

Therefore, I thought it would be good to take an unscientific poll as to who people think Michael really is.  Feel free to post your own suggestions.

Has got me thinking.  Perhaps Narron has a Reds Rally card in the dugout with him.

Here's a selection of things that must be on his card:

1.  Get runner picked off.
   
2.  Failed suicide squeeze.
   
3.  Failed double steal.
   
4.  Get caught in a rundown.
   
5.  Walk bases loaded with no outs in an extra-inning tie ball game.
   
6.  Start Royce Clayton at SS.
   
7.  Start Jason LaRue at C.
   
8.  Take out EdE for defensive purposes.

Than Jerry Narron walking the bases loaded with nobody out in the bottom of the 14th inning?

I have been watching baseball for 30+ years now, and I have never seen anything that stupid.  Perhaps I haven't been watching the right games, but I really haven't.

If anyone has any stupider managerial move, please enlighten me.  I gotta go puke now.

Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan Dental Plan?
Update [2006-8-11 22:0:48 by Slyde]:Still trying to figure this crap out

We have evidence that Clayton is not playing defense as an average shortstop should, even though he is doing so very professionally.

A number of us also have the perception that Clayton is the one hurting the offense ever since July 13.

What are the main position players' hitting stats since July 13?

I can only get the last 30 days' OPS off MLB.com, but that takes us back a bit too far (although I think it still makes the point):

Hatteberg:  1.089
Dunn:  1.028
Bad Man:  1.004
Freel:  .929
Ross:  .905
EdE:  .871
LaRue(!?):  .780
LLM:  .711
Clayton:  .639
Junior:  .604
BP:  .553
Deno:  .476

Narron is right to play the Bad Man and Hatteberg every chance he can get, and EdE is very productive also.  Dunn also should not get any rest, his recent failures to make contact notwithstanding.  Freel's OPS should be docked about .050 because of all of the pickoffs, but he is still not the offensive problem.  Ross, of course is not the problem.  LaRue and Valentin are surprisingly not too bad, for catchers.

It seems that the primary culprits have been Junior, BP and Clayton, in that order.  What this says is that Junior should not be in the 3 hole, but there really isn't anyone else available to the Reds who should.  This is where the absence of Kearns and Lopez really hurts.  Perhaps also they should have traded for someone like Craig Wilson (who was traded for Shawn Chacon and is offensively not bad, but not hugely good either) to pick up the slack and provide insurance for just a time as this.  Deno hasn't proven to be the solution in RF, and you now don't have the flexibility of subbing in Freel if one of Deno, BP, Bad Man, EdE or even Junior is slumping.

Since we can't fix the outfield, what's the solution?

I think we have much more reliable data on the market for relief pitching during the 2006 Major League Baseball Season as of the end of today.  Argue all you want, but I think "The Trade" (FeLo + Kearns + Wagner for McHitsky + Bray + McClayton + Pocket Lint) was indefensible.

I think the relevant trades are:

1.  Mets trade OF Xavier Nady to Pirates for SP Oliver Perez and RP Roberto Hernandez. (7/31)
2.  Reds trade SP Justin Germano to Phils for RP Rheal Cormier. (7/31)
3.  Reds trade SP Zach Ward to Twins for RP Kyle Lohse. (7/31)
4.  White Sox get RP Mike MacDougal for two pitching prospects. (7/24)
5.  Dodgers get RP Elmer Dessens from KC for SP Odalis Perez and pitching prospects. (7/25)
6.  Padres get RP Scott Williamson from Cubs for pitching prospects. (7/22)
7.  Braves get RP Bob Wickman from Indians for catching prospect. (7/20)
8.  Reds trade SS Felipe Lopez, RF Austin Kearns and RP Ryan Wagner to Nationals for RP Gary Majewski, RP Bill Bray, SS Royce Clayton and "prospects". (7/13)
9.  Reds trade SP Travis Chick to Mariners for RP El Guapo.  (7/6)

Think about it this way.  Let's just assume (and it's not a good assumption, because Kearns is a much better player) that Kearns is the equal of Xavier Nady.  Think we might have been able to keep Lopez and Wagner and simply trade Kearns for Perez and Hernandez?

Seems like there was a bit of a bubble in the market around 7/13, huh?

We don't even have to get into the fact that two of the three principal players that came over from the Nationals (Majewski and Clayton) already have less-than-complimentary nicknames on this blog.

OK.  I will take the advice of NEILYNG/BShakey and go eat a peach now, but I had to get that off my chest.

Update [2006-8-1 14:19:23 by Paul Householder]: OK everyone, a good portion of you liked The Trade, so in keeping with the spirit of this site, I changed the title. Thanks for your posts. Now let's end the season for the Dodgers!

DFA...DFA...DFA...DFA...DFA...DFA...DFA...

Mays.

D is for all the dingers that you give up...
F is for what fans say whenever you pitch...
A is for adios, which is what we'd like to say...

Oh please, Wayne.  Get rid of this guy, or Slyde is going to post a picture of you in a Little Bo Peep outfit. [Update] *If you can think of a reason to vote for Mays, it would be great if you posted it. Thanks!*

Over the years, the starting rotation on a staff has evolved quite a bit, just like the bullpen.  Now we have situational lefties and setup men, where before we had closers that would pitch two or three innings.  You used to have four-man rotations.  Now we have the fifth starter, who is usually so bad that the team tries to skip his turn whenever possible.

Joe Mays's turn comes up this Saturday, and Brandon Claussen will not be ready.  This has been a source of disappointment for some.  At one point people were clamoring for Matt Belisle to come back from injury and save the bullpen.  Now people are clamoring for Picklehead to come back and save the rotation from Joe Mays.  Pretty interesting how the devil you know but haven't seen for a while looks better than the devil you also know but are seeing hurt your team right now.

It doesn't take much to remember back about three weeks.  Remember the fecund suckitude that was a Picklehead start--the 28-pitch innings, the four-run first-inning train wreck that came like clockwork, the constant first (and second) pitch balls, the inevitable 3-2 count after the few times he had the hitter 0-2, the 40-50 extra comments because the innings took so long...ahh, memories.

All that being said, I still think Claussen was (and will be, upon his return) less bad than Joe Mays.  Therefore, in honor of Brandon Claussen, here's an unscientific poll to see who you thought was the Reds' best 5th starter since the 1990 World Championship season (or perhaps "least bad" is a better turn of phrase to use).  Also, some of these names bring back memories, which is also kinda cool...

(By the way, Jimmy Haynes does not count, because [blecchh] he was actually the Opening Day starter in 2003, the year he really got bad again (1.86 WHIP) and got himself released in the early part of the next season.)

Yes, the trade stinks, for a number of different reasons, but look at the big picture.  There are a number of teams whose fans are suffering much worse than us right now.

Those teams include the Pirates, the Devil Rays (if they actually have fans left), the Royals and of course, the Cubs.  There are also plenty of other teams in other sports that cause their fans more pain than the Reds.  Nothing like a little pity to take away some of the sting of getting fleeced.

In particular, look at the Cubs fans.  They have a nice, fat payroll that isn't doing them any good.  They actually picked up Womack after the Reds released him.  I wonder if they will also sign Q-Crapp and Chris Hammond too.  Their best position player (Lee) was injured for a long stretch.  Wood and Prior have also been injured, and Wood is done for the year.  Finally, only today, to literally add injury to insult, it looks like Daedalus got out her pincushion and made a Voodoo Mark Prior (another strained oblique muscle!):

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=AnX7.0_I9Toe3AikO5i05u05nYcB?slug=ap-cubs-prior&prov=ap&am p;type=lgns

The teams listed below are just what I could come up with off the top of my head.  Feel free to add to the list.