SB Nation User Blog: PhiSlamma

Holy Horse Shit, Someone Hold Me, Lee to the M's

PhiSlamma — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:59:51 -0000

Holy Horse Shit, Someone Hold Me, Lee to the M's

Run for your lives.

Angels begin initial talks with Bay

PhiSlamma — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:08:11 -0000

Angels begin initial talks with Bay

We should get a good idea of the possibility and range of contract this is going to take.

Bay is an absolute perfect fit as a LF/DH platoon with Rivera. Bay hit .267/.384/.537 with 36 HR in 2009. He represents everything the Angels need in a now empty 3 spot in the lineup.

His defense is beyond horrible, but his bat is well worth the cost.

Goodbye John Lackey

PhiSlamma — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:54:13 -0000

Goodbye John Lackey

Teams calling Lackey's agent are being told he wants 17+ a year for a least six years.

Not only is that completely not in the realm of what Arte wants to do, Lackey is not even close to being worth that much money, "face of the franchise" or not. (He isn't)

This is a very strong sign that Mr Thunder will not be pitching in Anaheim next year.

See ya.

Figgins on verge of signing with the Mariners

PhiSlamma — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:59:42 -0000

Figgins on verge of signing with the Mariners

The deal is worth around 36 million over 4 years. Of this goes through the M's would have one of the deadliest 1-2 lead off punches in the game with Ichiro and Figgins spearheading the lineup.

Worst Bad Umpiring Counterpoint. Ever.

PhiSlamma — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:29:04 -0000

The loss the other night to the Red Sox was brutal, for many reasons. Some of us watched it on TV, anxiously finding excuses to go to the kitchen, or bathroom to break up the tension of leaning towards your television on the verge of a heart attack. The others probably were listening to it on the radio, having to punch a kitten in the face in frustration, and counting the seconds to when they could watch a replay of what happened.

Then there are those of you who just watch gameday.... Poor Kids.

Either way, we all were exposed to some form of distraught feelings. Some of us swore at the TV. Some of us threw stuff against the wall. Some of us plotted to blow up Fenway. Some of us did got drunk and beat our wives.... oh wait, sorry, that's the Red Sox fanbase.

We all got to a point last night where we had to cope with what we had just witnessed. Some made excuses, some pointed out different things that could have happened, or different ways to look at the two very obviously blown calls, others had bitter optimism. I can appreciate almost all of these.

Except this stupid one:

After listening to this point the last 70 something hours from different posters and ESPN radio personalities or Hud himself, I kind of snapped a little. This form of reasoning is so infuriating, so ass backward, so logic defying that my skin literally tingles with roid rage when anyone uses it...

"Well, we shouldn't have put ourselves in a position to where the umpire could have made a bad call to make us lose"

To those of you who actually think this way, I am sorry. I am sorry you think this way. Its unhealthy.

I cannot believe someone, anyone, especially somewhat intelligent people, think that the highest tier of professional umpires (who get paid quite a bit of money) are somehow not at fault when put into a position when their expertise is most required.

Why is it okay to use that excuse for umps? Umps tell teams "Well you shouldn't have gotten yourself in a position for me to make a bad call to decide the game"

Let me ask you a question. Would this fly at your work?...

"Hey boss, I know I bombed during that incredibly important meeting with the client that would have saved our company, but hey, you shouldn't have put yourself in a position to where I could have bombed in front of them to ruin the presentation."

Maybe a ball player?...

"Hey Coach, I know I completely failed out there. I struck out with the bases loaded again, third time this game. I know my RISP is 0.000. But hey, you shouldn't put me in a situation where I could strike out with the bases loaded."

The President?...

"Dear American People. I know I launched a whole bunch of nukes into Canada today, I screwed up. Whoops. I got nervous in a meeting with them, you know that crazy French/Canadian accent thing, and I pressed the big red button a few dozen times. But hey, you shouldn't have put me in a situation where I could have gotten nervous and killed millions of people."

It would not fly for you, or anyone else. Why is it okay for Umpires?

They are PAID MONEY to make calls in those situations. Its fantastic that you make correct calls when the game is not on the line in a 109-0 game that isn't televised. I'm proud of you. But for anyone to have the audacity to make the point that somehow its okay for them to blow two calls in one at bat to force one team to lose because "one team put themselves into a situation where its okay for a ump to blow a call, because they deserved it, its a close game" is just.... you know, stupid.

There is something called parity in top-tier MLB teams. They are built to win. So games between these clubs will be close. A lot of them.

Some even in the playoffs.

Its not because one team sat down and let the other team pitch to them with the bases loaded, taking the strikeout, and knowing that they are going to throw the ball with their erect penises at the plate and the ump will just reward them the game.

No.

Games are close because other teams prevent their opponents from scoring.

The fact that umps trivialize their own professional integrity by somehow thinking its okay to blow calls in close games because one team deserves it for letting it be that close should be illegal.

Fans that think this way need to be shot.

A close game is no reason for an ump to blow calls. Ever.

That is when they should get all the calls right. Really focus on adopting the spirit of the game, applying it to the situation and making sure that the team that wins is the one that played the best. They get paid to do this.

A seventy something year old umpire who recently had a stroke should in no way be judging balls and strikes in a nationally televised game between bitter rivals. Or in the playoffs. Or in little league.

They get paid to make the right calls. You get paid to preform in the clutch. Your boss wouldn't except some lame ass excuse from you, because you are held accountable for you actions. Apparently, MLB umpires are not because douche bags like you let them off the hook.

F Mark Teioverpayeddouchbageria

PhiSlamma — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:35:50 -0000

F Mark Teioverpayeddouchbageria

We have Morales, and he is just cooler than you.

In fact I saw him driving away with your horrible, cock-taming wife in a convertible Ferrari while flipping you the bird.

Just saying.

Dear Acuda,

PhiSlamma — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:10:20 -0000

You were right. About everything.

All those long nights I would stay up and laugh at you for thinking Kendry was going to be a top-notch, awesome-sauce, who-cares-about-losing-Kotch player.

All those times I shook my head as you predicted a .300+ AVG, 30+ HR, 90+ RBI in his first year.

I must say.... You were right.

You were so right, in fact, that I now have as much man-love for K-Mo.

I will now enjoy my crow, and apologize for all the times I flamed you for having such a blog-boner for a player.

Because he deserves all those blog-boners.

The Edit Button

PhiSlamma — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:44:44 -0000

I've been tossing and turning tonight.

Edit buttons are keeping me from sleeping. They drift through my dreams, seemingly mockingly, as I am prone to hit an extra button or two in my haste to call people retarded..... yet with my typos I look like the retarded one.

Yet, I came to an epiphany tonight.

Edit Button:

All users are able to edit their posts at any time..... until someone directly replies to that post.

Or, if that isn't enough, the post is editable until someone else posts in that thread.

So, this will prevent Trolls from changing posts to save face, yet, give people with fat fingers and little patience to proof read the ability to fix some stuff up if they catch it after posting.

Come my friends, gather around the fire and hold hands. Lets discuss this.

I love posts about trade ideas, especially bad ones.

PhiSlamma — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:56:19 -0000

So I will make one!

The Brewers second basemen just went down for the year. They need one. So, hell, I was thinking lets give them Izturis, or Aybar for something.

No, not Braun. Get that out of your mind now. As much as I would love to have a player on the Angels with the nickname "The Hebrew Hammer" its not going to happen.

The Mets also need a firstbasemen, which, maybe, if you think about it we might have depth at. When Vlad comes back to the fulltime DH role, where can we get Naps some consistent playing time? First base? Me thinks so. Although Kendry has been on a tear, it might be fun to play with the idea of working up a package to the Mets.

Obviously we probably won't do either of these things, but, hey, we can discuss it.

Tex interview... I just can't hate him after this.

PhiSlamma — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:24:38 -0000

Tex interview... I just can't hate him after this.

"I sat and cried at my locker after that last game in Boston because I knew that was a special group, I knew how good a chance we had, and we let it slip away," Teixeira said.