SB Nation User Blog: PhiSlamma

Worst Bad Umpiring Counterpoint. Ever.

PhiSlamma — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:29:04 -0000

The loss the other night to the Red Sox was brutal, for many reasons. Some of us watched it on TV, anxiously finding excuses to go to the kitchen, or bathroom to break up the tension of leaning towards your television on the verge of a heart attack. The others probably were listening to it on the radio, having to punch a kitten in the face in frustration, and counting the seconds to when they could watch a replay of what happened.

Then there are those of you who just watch gameday.... Poor Kids.

Either way, we all were exposed to some form of distraught feelings. Some of us swore at the TV. Some of us threw stuff against the wall. Some of us plotted to blow up Fenway. Some of us did got drunk and beat our wives.... oh wait, sorry, that's the Red Sox fanbase.

We all got to a point last night where we had to cope with what we had just witnessed. Some made excuses, some pointed out different things that could have happened, or different ways to look at the two very obviously blown calls, others had bitter optimism. I can appreciate almost all of these.

Except this stupid one:

After listening to this point the last 70 something hours from different posters and ESPN radio personalities or Hud himself, I kind of snapped a little. This form of reasoning is so infuriating, so ass backward, so logic defying that my skin literally tingles with roid rage when anyone uses it...

"Well, we shouldn't have put ourselves in a position to where the umpire could have made a bad call to make us lose"

To those of you who actually think this way, I am sorry. I am sorry you think this way. Its unhealthy.

I cannot believe someone, anyone, especially somewhat intelligent people, think that the highest tier of professional umpires (who get paid quite a bit of money) are somehow not at fault when put into a position when their expertise is most required.

Why is it okay to use that excuse for umps? Umps tell teams "Well you shouldn't have gotten yourself in a position for me to make a bad call to decide the game"

Let me ask you a question. Would this fly at your work?...

"Hey boss, I know I bombed during that incredibly important meeting with the client that would have saved our company, but hey, you shouldn't have put yourself in a position to where I could have bombed in front of them to ruin the presentation."

Maybe a ball player?...

"Hey Coach, I know I completely failed out there. I struck out with the bases loaded again, third time this game. I know my RISP is 0.000. But hey, you shouldn't put me in a situation where I could strike out with the bases loaded."

The President?...

"Dear American People. I know I launched a whole bunch of nukes into Canada today, I screwed up. Whoops. I got nervous in a meeting with them, you know that crazy French/Canadian accent thing, and I pressed the big red button a few dozen times. But hey, you shouldn't have put me in a situation where I could have gotten nervous and killed millions of people."

It would not fly for you, or anyone else. Why is it okay for Umpires?

They are PAID MONEY to make calls in those situations. Its fantastic that you make correct calls when the game is not on the line in a 109-0 game that isn't televised. I'm proud of you. But for anyone to have the audacity to make the point that somehow its okay for them to blow two calls in one at bat to force one team to lose because "one team put themselves into a situation where its okay for a ump to blow a call, because they deserved it, its a close game" is just.... you know, stupid.

There is something called parity in top-tier MLB teams. They are built to win. So games between these clubs will be close. A lot of them.

Some even in the playoffs.

Its not because one team sat down and let the other team pitch to them with the bases loaded, taking the strikeout, and knowing that they are going to throw the ball with their erect penises at the plate and the ump will just reward them the game.

No.

Games are close because other teams prevent their opponents from scoring.

The fact that umps trivialize their own professional integrity by somehow thinking its okay to blow calls in close games because one team deserves it for letting it be that close should be illegal.

Fans that think this way need to be shot.

A close game is no reason for an ump to blow calls. Ever.

That is when they should get all the calls right. Really focus on adopting the spirit of the game, applying it to the situation and making sure that the team that wins is the one that played the best. They get paid to do this.

A seventy something year old umpire who recently had a stroke should in no way be judging balls and strikes in a nationally televised game between bitter rivals. Or in the playoffs. Or in little league.

They get paid to make the right calls. You get paid to preform in the clutch. Your boss wouldn't except some lame ass excuse from you, because you are held accountable for you actions. Apparently, MLB umpires are not because douche bags like you let them off the hook.

F Mark Teioverpayeddouchbageria

PhiSlamma — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:35:50 -0000

F Mark Teioverpayeddouchbageria

We have Morales, and he is just cooler than you.

In fact I saw him driving away with your horrible, cock-taming wife in a convertible Ferrari while flipping you the bird.

Just saying.

Dear Acuda,

PhiSlamma — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:10:20 -0000

You were right. About everything.

All those long nights I would stay up and laugh at you for thinking Kendry was going to be a top-notch, awesome-sauce, who-cares-about-losing-Kotch player.

All those times I shook my head as you predicted a .300+ AVG, 30+ HR, 90+ RBI in his first year.

I must say.... You were right.

You were so right, in fact, that I now have as much man-love for K-Mo.

I will now enjoy my crow, and apologize for all the times I flamed you for having such a blog-boner for a player.

Because he deserves all those blog-boners.

The Edit Button

PhiSlamma — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:44:44 -0000

I've been tossing and turning tonight.

Edit buttons are keeping me from sleeping. They drift through my dreams, seemingly mockingly, as I am prone to hit an extra button or two in my haste to call people retarded..... yet with my typos I look like the retarded one.

Yet, I came to an epiphany tonight.

Edit Button:

All users are able to edit their posts at any time..... until someone directly replies to that post.

Or, if that isn't enough, the post is editable until someone else posts in that thread.

So, this will prevent Trolls from changing posts to save face, yet, give people with fat fingers and little patience to proof read the ability to fix some stuff up if they catch it after posting.

Come my friends, gather around the fire and hold hands. Lets discuss this.

I love posts about trade ideas, especially bad ones.

PhiSlamma — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:56:19 -0000

So I will make one!

The Brewers second basemen just went down for the year. They need one. So, hell, I was thinking lets give them Izturis, or Aybar for something.

No, not Braun. Get that out of your mind now. As much as I would love to have a player on the Angels with the nickname "The Hebrew Hammer" its not going to happen.

The Mets also need a firstbasemen, which, maybe, if you think about it we might have depth at. When Vlad comes back to the fulltime DH role, where can we get Naps some consistent playing time? First base? Me thinks so. Although Kendry has been on a tear, it might be fun to play with the idea of working up a package to the Mets.

Obviously we probably won't do either of these things, but, hey, we can discuss it.

Tex interview... I just can't hate him after this.

PhiSlamma — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:24:38 -0000

Tex interview... I just can't hate him after this.

"I sat and cried at my locker after that last game in Boston because I knew that was a special group, I knew how good a chance we had, and we let it slip away," Teixeira said.

I lost it with this story

PhiSlamma — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:09:34 -0000

I lost it with this story

I held my emotions together through this whole Adenhart thing. Trying to keep a level head, and keeping it in prospective. I absolutely lost my shit after reading this and crying like a baby for a minute or two.

Just so sad its soul breaking.

Griffey Choses Atlanta

PhiSlamma — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:32:49 -0000

Griffey Choses Atlanta

Take that Lookout Landing.

I LOVE Rob Neyer

PhiSlamma — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:39:35 -0000

I LOVE Rob Neyer

Love love love.

The man just knows what hes talking about, at all times. His outright love and biased towards the Angels can be a little much at times, but thats why we love him!

A shocking Bonds development!

PhiSlamma — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:43:02 -0000

It turns out he did steroids!

This earth-shattering news was confirmed earlier today when the court unsealed some documents and test samples revealing that Barry had on several dates tested positive for a bunch of very illegal and very performance enhancing mumbo-jumbo.

The man had his own personal army of vial mixers to make up his crazy muscle juice just to break some of the most loved records in our national past-time.

So, take away the record? I think so. F Bonds.

Poll

What to do with Bonds' records?

Put an astrix next to all of them, future baseball fans need to know these records were set while the player was on more drugs than Hunter S Thompson driving through the desert on his way to Las Vegas.

30 votes

Remove them, the players before him did not cheat to get those records.

8 votes

Leave them, you still need skill to hit that well for that long.

34 votes

He should be banish from all record books AND forced to watch game 6 and 7 of the 2002 World Series on repeat until he dies.

49 votes

121 votes | Poll has closed