I recently moved back to the Sacramento area after what was about a six-year hiatus, which involved me going away to school in So Cal for undergrad and then out-of-state for my professional degree.  Thus, I am still in a mindset that whenever I see Kings apparel, fans or memorabilia, my initial reaction is, “Oh, sweet!  Kings baby!”  After a few moments, I realize I’m back in Sac and it all clicks and makes sense.

But, I haven’t seen/or met a Kings player whilst being out-and-about in a number of years now, so I was pleasantly surprised to encounter JT at the Park Lounge on Saturday.  I don’t know if StR approves of posting every mundane chance encounter with a Kings player, but I’m sharing this story, because a) I kinda looked like an ass and that’s always funny, and b) it shows how good-natured our beloved Shock can be.

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I get it.  The excitement.  The rush.  The...high.

I understand where you're coming from.  Much like Ailene Voisin, you yearn -- nay, ACHE -- for a sexier version of the Kings.  

You look up and down the roster, trying fill out the positions.  Everything looks alright, or at least appears to have the potential to be alright, except for one spot.  The same spot that we're supposedly over-stacked with players at -- small forward.

In a panicked attempt to plug this roster spot with something more, um, well, sexy -- you race to ESPN's trade machine and immediately engage in trades that give Nocioni away for something, ANYTHING, resembling a roster upgrade.  Whether it's at PF, C, SG, SF, who cares!?!  Upon distraction, you begin to entertain the idea of pawning Beno off on the last GM in the NBA who, for whatever reason, has no idea that Beno is not a starting-quality PG in this league.  Ha-ha!  Take that sucker!

Next, K9 (Woof!) is thrown in the mix, and before you know it, we're unloading KTEC to CHI for Noah and Hinrich (a minor coup no doubt), Noc is going to wherever, with Beno tagging along, and we're in cap space heaven.  

The Kings are sexy, baby, yeah! 

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What's going to be hot this fall?  How about the Kenny Thomas Expiring Contract Jersey? Show your, uh, pride for one of the Kings most valuable expiring contracts/trade chips, er, players, by wearing this gimmicky, I mean,  awesome unofficial piece of sports attire.

A real steal at less than $35 (because, had it not been made in a sweatshop, it'd likely cost twice as much!).  Also, it is noticeably cheaper than those "official" jerseys selling at the team store!  Order yours today!

As a response to a posting on ECT,inc., I began seriously considering, for the first time, the idea of trading our most talented, reasonably-salaried, silky-smoove-shooting, very own, beloved Kevin Martin.  

Why the Hell would we do that?  Well, we probably won't.  But the following proposals make some sense on some level for both teams.  Maybe not complete sense, but I think each GM would at least give pause upon initially hearing the proposal.

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Maybe I will make these "Obvious Updates" a more regular thing.  Maybe I won't.  Maybe I will be told to shut my goddamn useless mouth by you all.  Maybe then, in a retaliatory act, I will go to a local birth ward and punch infants in the face.  Maybe you should read on for an obvious, optimistic and somewhat shallowly-logical take on the number four pick in this year's draft.

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I drew these up a while back and didn't post them because flickr sucks and I didn't know how to get a url for my pics.  However, the Griffin thread today included some good suggestions (including tinypic.com, which is what I used).  So, thanks guys.

Anyway, I was thinking that if Rubio becomes a King, he'll need a cool logo.  In one pic, I have the name RICKY written to look somewhat like a crown.  In the other pic, I took the "R" from the Ricky Crown logo, and mirrored it.  Putting the mirror images together, you get a logo that resembles a fox.  I did this, because I think Rubio plays with a lot of smarts, trickery and craftiness, which are well-known traits of a fox.  

via i41.tinypic.com

via i44.tinypic.com