I'm drafting a list of questions that I'd like the Maloofs to answer. To me, these should be easy to answer questions, requiring nothing more than readily-available, honest responses.

If you have any questions you'd like to ask the Maloofs, please post them below. Maybe someday we'll get some answers.

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First off, I want to say thank you to all of the people who donated tickets and/or money to the “Here We Stay” (hereinafter “HWS") cause.  I was one of the benefactors of your generosity and I still can’t get over how incredible this fan base truly is.  That the Maloofs have something special in Sacramento is undeniable.  I just don’t see O.C. people organizing, caring and giving the way everyone involved in HWS has.

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We’ve all heard it time and time again.

Sacramento is a small-market team.

Writers for ESPN even went so far as to state that the Kings are at a negative disadvantage because the team is located in a “tiny market.”

Tiny.

They actually labeled us as “tiny.”  And not in the tongue-in-cheek, obviously-not-true way that people call Tommy “Tiny” Lister (DeeBo from Friday) tiny.

No, they meant it.  They think of us as tiny.  An NBA outpost.  A boring, inconvenient speck on the NBA map. 

Then again, in that same article, the writers also said that we were currently “saddled . . . with several bad deals,” yet somehow will be “well under the cap next year and could be in position to expand its talent base quickly.”  So, forgive me if I think that the sports media is more than capable of drawing inconsistent conclusions, and now feel the need to more closely weigh in on the question of the "tininess" of our market while exploring what market size might mean for the future of this team.

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With Summer League coming to a close, we will enter a period of basketball purgatory.  In order to better endure the upcoming doldrums, I've decided to post some interesting Kings-related pics.  The StR community has provided me with some great laughs and I know that all we need to amuse each other is a little motivation and a platform.

Without further ado, I give you the Dog Days of Summer Caption Contest.  At the end of the week, the comment receiving the most rec's will be the winner.

The winner will receive short-lived StR glory, my permission to drink a beer or eat dessert for no reason in particular (prohibited where local laws do not allow such activity) and google map directions to the destination of your choice. 

But, really, won't we all be the winners? 

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*Maybe.  I mean, it’s kinda possible.  We’ll see.

After watching Boogie make Greg Munroe look like a snack, I wish to explore the possibility of the Kings making the playoffs.

You might say, “But, Phuture, isn’t it premature to make playoff predictions based on one summer league game!?!”

And then I might say, “Pick one or more of the following:"

A)   Shut the Hell up.

B)   Yes, but seriously, shut the Hell up.

C)   “Tell that bitch to be cool!”

D)   As you’ll see, I’m not doing this based solely on one summer league game.

E)   Which is why I will be doing this a bit differently.

Hmm, actually option “C” is the one I save for when I am eating at a restaurant and it gets held up by two amateurs and then I pull a gun on one of them and demand the return of my “Bad Mutha F*cker” wallet. 

Be cool, honey-bunny.   Here we go. 

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GIven last year's rookie's performances, it is easy to see why some would place the same expectations on this year's batch.  Especially given the fact that this year's rookies are also the "people's choice."  The phrase I have coined for this phenomena is "Sweet Rookie Hangover" syndrome.

But what kind of expectations can be fairly placed on the new guys?  I'll offer my two-cents after the jump.

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It’s late.  The World Cup starts early.  Thus, I will not be covering all the teams…only those that you’ll want to casually throw out a reference for at the water cooler.

 Oh, and New Zealand and North Korea.  But, for different reasons.

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Given that there is more than a week of toiling left to do while we await the Greatest (Apparently Unnecessary and Completely Uncalled-for) Draft Lottery Block Party of All Time, I thought it would be fun to engage in more "what-if?" activities.

This time, Team USA style.

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(aka, PK Squared)

"Tackling the less important aspects surrounding the Kings and the NBA"

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I recently moved back to the Sacramento area after what was about a six-year hiatus, which involved me going away to school in So Cal for undergrad and then out-of-state for my professional degree.  Thus, I am still in a mindset that whenever I see Kings apparel, fans or memorabilia, my initial reaction is, “Oh, sweet!  Kings baby!”  After a few moments, I realize I’m back in Sac and it all clicks and makes sense.

But, I haven’t seen/or met a Kings player whilst being out-and-about in a number of years now, so I was pleasantly surprised to encounter JT at the Park Lounge on Saturday.  I don’t know if StR approves of posting every mundane chance encounter with a Kings player, but I’m sharing this story, because a) I kinda looked like an ass and that’s always funny, and b) it shows how good-natured our beloved Shock can be.

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I get it.  The excitement.  The rush.  The...high.

I understand where you're coming from.  Much like Ailene Voisin, you yearn -- nay, ACHE -- for a sexier version of the Kings.  

You look up and down the roster, trying fill out the positions.  Everything looks alright, or at least appears to have the potential to be alright, except for one spot.  The same spot that we're supposedly over-stacked with players at -- small forward.

In a panicked attempt to plug this roster spot with something more, um, well, sexy -- you race to ESPN's trade machine and immediately engage in trades that give Nocioni away for something, ANYTHING, resembling a roster upgrade.  Whether it's at PF, C, SG, SF, who cares!?!  Upon distraction, you begin to entertain the idea of pawning Beno off on the last GM in the NBA who, for whatever reason, has no idea that Beno is not a starting-quality PG in this league.  Ha-ha!  Take that sucker!

Next, K9 (Woof!) is thrown in the mix, and before you know it, we're unloading KTEC to CHI for Noah and Hinrich (a minor coup no doubt), Noc is going to wherever, with Beno tagging along, and we're in cap space heaven.  

The Kings are sexy, baby, yeah! 

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What's going to be hot this fall?  How about the Kenny Thomas Expiring Contract Jersey? Show your, uh, pride for one of the Kings most valuable expiring contracts/trade chips, er, players, by wearing this gimmicky, I mean,  awesome unofficial piece of sports attire.

A real steal at less than $35 (because, had it not been made in a sweatshop, it'd likely cost twice as much!).  Also, it is noticeably cheaper than those "official" jerseys selling at the team store!  Order yours today!

As a response to a posting on ECT,inc., I began seriously considering, for the first time, the idea of trading our most talented, reasonably-salaried, silky-smoove-shooting, very own, beloved Kevin Martin.  

Why the Hell would we do that?  Well, we probably won't.  But the following proposals make some sense on some level for both teams.  Maybe not complete sense, but I think each GM would at least give pause upon initially hearing the proposal.

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Maybe I will make these "Obvious Updates" a more regular thing.  Maybe I won't.  Maybe I will be told to shut my goddamn useless mouth by you all.  Maybe then, in a retaliatory act, I will go to a local birth ward and punch infants in the face.  Maybe you should read on for an obvious, optimistic and somewhat shallowly-logical take on the number four pick in this year's draft.

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I drew these up a while back and didn't post them because flickr sucks and I didn't know how to get a url for my pics.  However, the Griffin thread today included some good suggestions (including tinypic.com, which is what I used).  So, thanks guys.

Anyway, I was thinking that if Rubio becomes a King, he'll need a cool logo.  In one pic, I have the name RICKY written to look somewhat like a crown.  In the other pic, I took the "R" from the Ricky Crown logo, and mirrored it.  Putting the mirror images together, you get a logo that resembles a fox.  I did this, because I think Rubio plays with a lot of smarts, trickery and craftiness, which are well-known traits of a fox.  

via i41.tinypic.com

via i44.tinypic.com

Ok, there.  I've said it.

I've uttered the words that no Kings fan wants to hear.  In fact, based on the many recent draft-related fan posts, much of Kings nation is unaware that the possibility of NOT being lucky enough to acquire Blake Griffin or Ricky Rubio even exists.

Well, it does.  Big time. 

Since the lottery went to a weighted system in 1990, the team with the best statistical chance of winning has only come out on top three times.  That's three times in 18 years.  As Austin Powers would say, "Ouch, baby.  Very ouch." 

Put into a percentage, we all (should) know that we have a 25% of winning the first pick.  Our chances actually decrease for each of the next picks, at approximately  a 21.5% and 17.5% for the second and third picks, respectively.

Some of you may be saying to yourself, "Hey, Phuture, why are you being such a Debbie Downer?" to which I reply, "Because we are jinxing ourselves.  We are setting ourselves up for massive disappointment.  We are, in effect, practically daring the basketball Gods to slight us and cast us into damnation."  And also because I am a law student and, over the past three years, my brain has been conditioned to think in worst-case-scenario terms.

I also would like to point out the inverse view of the situation - we have a 75% chance of NOT winning the draft lottery.  Statistically, we would only win ONCE out of FOUR drawings.  The numbers are simple and evident, but I kind of get the feeling we're ignoring them.

More than anything, I guess I am writing this post because I think we all need to be reminded that, just because our squad was the most pathetic team on an NBA court this past season, doesn't mean we are entitled to anything (other than sympathy) and we are likely not going to get Griffin or Rubio.  It is my hope that by broadcasting this message of humility, the basketball Gods will be satisfied that we are indeed the deserving franchise.  Not only because I really, REALLY want to have Griffin or Rubio on the squad next year, but also because I really don't want a team like PHX to win the lottery...

It's not crazy talk.  Last year, the Bulls, with a 1.7 (that's "one-point-seven") percent chance of winning the lotto came away with a shiny, brand new PG named Rose. 

So, put down the Blake Griffin party punch, strap on your seat belt, and prepare for for a head-on collision with disappointment.  Seriously.

Maybe, if we are lucky, the Kings will walk away from May 19th with a top-2 pick.  My fellow Kings fans, I leave you with these two pieces of advice:

1) Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

2) If anyone sees that season-ticket-holding-biatch from last year's lottery anywhere near the ping pong balls, use a tranq gun and remove her from the premises.  I know it's not her fault, but she sure as shit didn't help matters much.