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Pigskin

  • joined Aug 17, 2011
  • last login Feb 10, 2014
  • posts 2
  • comments 343

My father was a relentlessly self improving belingerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute with webbed feet. My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy; the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons, and in the spring, we would make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 18, I went off to pigskin medical school. At 25 I took up tap dancing. I wanted to be a quadruple threat. You know: acting, dancing, football procrastinating…

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