SB Nation User Blog: Poppy

ST Photos and Random BS

Poppy — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:12:20 -0000

We're about to leave Arizona and head home (well, we're going to stop in Vegas for about 14 hours and *then* we'll head home). And I'll vanish once more into my Never-ending Story: Degreequest 2011.

Onward...

Trevor Cahill warming up:

I also heard & saw some really weird, disorienting things Saturday. Like...

"Leading off for the Athletics -- 3rd baseman Nomar Garciaparra!"

And a few minutes later... Jason Giambi was batting for us, with Matt Holliday on deck.

Wait, Matt Holliday? That Matt Holliday? I actually had him on the only MLB fantasy team I've ever played with! And now he's here! And he wasn't even an old free agent on his way to retirement! Weird.

Weird, but kind of awesome.

Count me in the Irrational Love for Corey Wimberly Club...

...and in the ever-dwindling Crosbapologist Club. Caught in a rundown:

Oh, Bobby.

On to Sunday's game vs. the White Sox! Mazzaro warming up:

And more weirdness... awesome weirdness... "Batting for the Athletics - designated hitter Mark Ellis!"

Jerry Owens running out a bunt... too slow! He's out!

Later... Ooh, there's gonna be a close play at 2nd! But there's mf'in umps in my mf'in sightline!

Kurt to Vin: "It's okay, bro... Sacramento's not so bad! We'll see you again soon."

I had a rough day, too. I saw this bracelet that I really wanted, on someone else's wrist...

...and right after I shot the bracelet two rows in front of me, there was a close play at first! I brought my camera back up and...

...shot without refocusing, while just barely looking. So pissed. I've been using SLRs for over 20 years, I know better than that.

Monday! Dana Eveland warming up:

Is Dale doing some sort of chicken walk here?

Corey! Three days in a row!

The Jack Hannahan's Package package (these were all taken in about the first minute and a half of the 6th inning):

I was bored, probably a little sunstrokish, and the Phoenix Muni margarita mixologists have a stronger belief in tequila than the Coliseum folks do. So I told Mr. Poppy, "I've gotta see exactly how many damn times Hanny's gotta adjust that thing, because there's apparently a serious problem." And it was a long inning. By about the 40th adjustment (I'm not exaggerating; there were actually 48 that I managed to catch), I was falling over, and you can see Rajai was standing out there in CF going, "DUDE, leave it alone already!"

Anyway. Jerry Blevins warming up with the shadow of a stork:

No, Dale, the ball isn't supposed to go in that direction after you hit it.

Run, Norf! Run like the wind!

Okay, that's probably all going to take a thousand years to load, so it's enough...

STLD 3/21-22/09, not to be confused with STD

Poppy — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 15:59:25 -0000

I'm in Arizona! It's hot! And sunny! But on the bright side, it's spring and there's baseball here! Wooooooooo!

This news item was already in yesterday's dump, but I have to say I'm a little hurt by the lengths to which MaEl is going to avoid me getting a glimpse of him this weekend. First he refused to play defense until after I've gone home, and now he's refusing to DH at Phoenix Muni. Will I have to skip the games I have tickets for in order to track him down at a minor league game? {{{sigh}}}

So here's whatever links I can find before I get a bad buttcheek cramp from the uncomfortable motel chair I'm sitting on right now...

LOLJocks Presents: The LOL Bracket

Wow, I'm really out of it. When did the New Ballpark Blog get a new look? I like it! It took me a really long time to read the March 20 article, though -- not vertig0's fault, but every time the name "Omaha" appeared, I read "Obama," so I had several minutes' worth of going "Wait, what?"

Mychael Urban on Brett Anderson: Don't sweat it; the phenom's fine. He also gives a thumbs-up of Goodyear Ballpark, which I was curious about when I drove past it last night. It's not exactly "in the middle of nowhere," though. I saw most of nowhere on my 12-hour drive yesterday.

This Bay Area News Group online headline hurts my brain:

It hurts my brain so much it makes me almost not want to read the article under it. It's a few days old. Here's a link. Tell me if there's any more potentially fatal ~~illiteration~~ alliteration in it.

I'm craving fish, but I have a phobia about eating seafood in the desert. Don't try to talk me out of my phobia by explaining that Bay Area seafood is not all local, either. I said it's a phobia, so I already know it's irrational. So does anybody know a good sushi place in Scottsdale or Tempe? Qualifications for answering that question:

You must have actually eaten sushi (with fish) there
Their sushi must not have sickened or killed you
You must not be trying to sicken or kill me or Mr. Poppy

Okay, no cramp yet, but my left buttcheek has gone numb, so the rest of the links & whatnot will have to come from y'all.

Happy Spring!

12/22/08 - What?! Another DLD?!

Poppy — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:46:04 -0000

This probably won't be very basebally. Or it might. Let's see what I find as I go along, shall we?

The great thing about still living in my hometown and not really having any extended family is that I never have to travel for the holidays. But, unfortunately, that also means I'll never get to see/hear/participate in Flight Delay Karaoke. Oh well.

I'm not sure I understand the problem here:

Charles Johnson walked away from the transitional facility, located at 1580 Maple St., deputies said. The facility houses men who are preparing to re-enter the community.

I guess he was ready.

Debating the gender of fictional animals. Last Friday must have been a slow news day, too.

("...most bulls typically shed their fuzzy protrusions before Christmas." I beg your pardon?)

Okay... like the rest of MLB.com, the pages devoted to the MLB Network are too cluttered to sort out specific pieces of useful information. I'll give a prize to whoever can tell me whether RCN -- excuse me, "astound!" cable -- will be carrying MLB Network.

I haven't seen this for a while, but it occurred to me that some of the recent crop of little ANers might be getting big enough to start training for Baby Fight!

Now I'm off to the bookstore... I've finally found the perfect gift!

12-17-08: Free to be... DLD

Poppy — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 18:37:11 -0000

I'm having a great week! (No, really.)

On Monday, I had my last two finals, which were a big relief. One of those involved a 20-minute group presentation that was absolutely terrifying and I thought I was going to cry by the time it was over. But I survived! I'm not sure how I survived, since public speaking tends to make me hold my breath, and 20 minutes of not breathing is usually fatal.

Also Monday, a journalism final was canceled. Beautiful! Canceled exams are my favorite. The prof emailed us over the weekend: "You've all written enough, and I've graded enough, so I'm canceling the final." I think "you've written enough" is a bizarre reason for canceling a journalism exam, but who am I to argue?

Yesterday, I had my first performance evaluation at my little just-enough-to-pay-for-tuition job. I planned on it being about half an hour to 45 minutes, based on the "self-evaluation" thing I'd had to fill out beforehand. But it was only ten minutes of my boss telling me how awesome I am and how happy she is that I came to work for her and then giving me a 17% raise. So that went well.

The sun is out today and I'm finally starting work on a couple of projects that have been on hold for three months. So much goodness!

It can only mean that tomorrow Billy Beane will trade Mark Ellis for, I don't know, a cupful of single-A pitchers or something. And then sign Barry Bonds.

Yes, there are links, too!

Another good thing in my week: no more Furcal hype! You certainly don't have to agree with me, but many of you know that I think hype is obnoxious, no matter how good the player might be. I'm really only linking that article because I love this lead:

On Tuesday shortstop Rafael Furcal, object of the A's affection this offseason, headed for Atlanta at the speed of money.

And I'd also like to thank andeux, who apparently knows me well, for this. I didn't even know about it.

From Deadspin: East Coast bank robber with shifting loyalties.

Best comment in that thread: "The Phillies hat bandit's plan was foiled when his getaway car was tipped over and torched."

OH, something else that makes me incredibly happy (although I don't think it's news from the current week, and I'm sure it's already been posted here somewhere): F-Rod being a Met. I'm so ecstatic that I won't have to watch that freak having seizures anymore, I just squatted in the middle of my living room, arms outstretched, and howled to the ceiling.

The 49ers' Patrick Willis was named as a starter for the Pro Bowl. More happy! I love Willis.

And now it's time to go have lunch. Nao!

Mark Mulder revisited

Poppy — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:25:38 -0000

For the second time in less than 48 hours, AN receives the dubious benefit of my writer's block. You're oh so welcome. My PayPal account is the same as the email address in my profile.

A little over a month ago, this diary... fanpost... diFaNarypOsT... asked whether the A's should have any interest in Mark Mulder. There was a good discussion in the comments, including minor league possibilities, and the poll was pretty evenly split.

Since then, we're down two LHPs (I think). This morning, while following a link to Fox Sports about Rafael Furcal, I also saw this:

Mulder: Coming along

Free-agent left-hander Mark Mulder, rehabilitating from a pair of shoulder operations, is making significant progress in his recovery, according to his agent, Gregg Clifton.

After the Cardinals bought Mulder out for $1.5 million, he began working with two new personal trainers, one of whom is Paul Hospenthal, a longtime acquaintance of Mulder's who is the husband of race-car driver Danica Patrick.

Clifton said that Mulder's shoulder is fine, but that he is just now starting to build "functional strength" — in other words, the muscles that will enable him to pitch successfully again.

Mulder, 31, will not begin throwing until December, but could prove a reasonable one-year risk for a team in need of starting pitching.

If I remember correctly, Paul Hospenthal is the guy who rehabbed Mark Ellis' shoulder following its demolition and subsequent non-surgery in 2004. We know that Ellis didn't regain his full throwing strength (at least not to the point that he would have been able to function again as a regular shortstop), but his prognosis at the time Hospenthal began working with him was horrible. Horrible for an athlete, anyway, as in "early retirement and probable limited use of that arm at all."

So do we think this is just November agent-speak on Mulder's behalf, or could this be an encouraging development where the A's might want to consider taking "a reasonable one-year risk?"

Poll

Following up: Interested in Mulder returning to the Green 'n' Gold?

Yes

118 votes

No

54 votes

172 votes | Poll has closed

DLD 11/20/08 - Oh, come on.

Poppy — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:31:49 -0000

Hey, "It's the offseason" is no excuse!

I'm dozing off. I can't write coherently when I'm this sleepy. "Then why the hell are you writing something on AN that everyone will see, Poppy?" Because somebody has to, and it's not going to have any impact on my GPA, that's why.

Wait. "My GPA." Huh. Whattayaknow! I *DO* care about stats!

So what don't we know today? I don't know what we don't know. Y'know? I'll just throw a few links and see if they bounce or something.

Dugout Central picks Joey Devine as one of 2009's Impact Youngsters. Joey placed 6th in ROY voting? I did not know that. I bet you guys did.

The A's are still looking at Rafael Furcal: "...the team has seen Furcal's medical reports and has been assured that he has fully recovered." Yeah, okay. By whom, exactly? By who? Whom? Who? Meh. (That article was in this morning's Chron, btw... have we signed him in the meantime? You guys must know.)

What the HELL is the issue with SoCal Metrolink operators or controllers or whatever? Do you know?

As of today, the Yugo Era is over. [moment of silence] I didn't know that it hadn't already ended.

"This is driving in its most natural form. You feel every bump, squeak and jolt, and one can enjoy the sweet smell of gasoline and exhaust fumes,"

said some Serbian dude, probably in an incredibly sexy accent that, had I heard the words spoken, would have completely distracted me from what an idiotic sentiment that is.

"Twilight" being released tomorrow! Woohoo! What the fuck is "Twilight"?!

Okay. It's no longer November 20 in most of the rest of the world, and I'm going to go have a nap before I have to start work.

via failblog.files.wordpress.com

QOTM - August

Poppy — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:43:11 -0000

Here's the thing... I'm now making constructive use of all my free time by serving as an example to the female student population of San Jose State: Use effective contraceptives, ladies, or you, too, could spend twenty years as an undergrad! Unless you're just not as stubborn as I am, or don't mind working in a cube forever, in which case, knock yourselves out. Or up.

So if the August QOTM looks half-assed, plan on the September QOTM looking about sixteenth-assed. But I'll give it a shot, because it's fun.

Nico: I thought "beaned" was when you worked hard to become really accomplished, only to be traded for four prospects.

Leopold Bloom is funny.

devo (on Olympic swimming competition): the U.S. dominates everything, Australia is relevant, everyone else is just make sure mosquitoes can't infest any standing water.

Englishmajor: The A's have announced a new ticket promotion: Exclusively for readers of AN, it's modeled on the popular "HITS" promotion of earlier this year. The "SHITTS" plan (Seriously Horrible Iteration of This Team, Sorry) will reduce the ticket price for an upcoming game by ten cents for every obscenity or vulgarity in the previous day's game thread. In other words, ANers can make at least $10 a night by going to the games.

nevermoor (on Sean Gallagher hearing a "pop" in his shoulder): It's a sad day when our pitcher has more pop than our lineup

thejd44: Gallagher is fine. It was only a "pop" he heard. A's players don't need the DL until they also heard tearing, shredding, ripping, and little mini explosions.

One of mikeA's favorite memories of the season: May 24: Duke's 1-hitter vs. the Sox. I enjoyed that a lot. A lot. Duke humiliated hitter after hitter, leaving depressed Sox fans to chant in their heads "I'm a doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooche" as they proceeded shamefully to their favored means of transportation, the douchemobile.

OptimistPrime: Six Flags Over Huston... This is a freakin’ roller coaster ride I wish I were not tall enough to ride

Buck Turgidson (to ohtobe21likehuston): When are you gonna change your handle? ohtobeamoppupguy?

batgirl: Who is this woman they have broadcasting the syncro diving? She is really freaking me out—she sounds so much like Nancy Grace. I keep expecting her to break into a tirade about a kidnapped baby.

grover (to monkeyball): You're all tail & heart & poo. Someone should find an industrial sized blender and make the ultimate in all natural smoothie out of you.

kapers: coach for Japan named "OHNO"... he could be a coach on OUR team

Soaker: I don't know, the A's-Orioles game from Camden Yards or Charles Barkley's colonoscopy? I'll see what I'm in the mood for on September 5.

batgirl: Join us on the 23rd to see your Oakland Athletics take on Joe Mauer and the Twins— don't forget to stick around for CSN Bay Area's Post Game LIVE for Alan Embree's colonoscopy!"

(I bet Jennifer's all over that one. Ed.)

ohtobe21likehuston: The 2008 Oakland A's: "You've seen the worse. Not really. Wait until tomorrow…"

a tad askew: I am losing patience with the antiquated notion that the team with more runs gets the win. Where should I complain?

green star oakland: The meat of our order is scrapple.

5Aces: It's been so long [since the A's won] that I went to cue up "celebration" and realized it was on 8 track.

Kimberly: I played Sims for the first time in a long time today. I made a Dale Barton sim, then made him go swimming. He drowned. RIP Dale.

guy incognito: it takes a special team to make ordinary pitchers look great with the consistency we have done. take a bow, athletics, take a bow.

theblackpearl: I don't know who the cool people are... but if I look to the bottom of the standings, I know where the A's are

Trainman: Mark Ellis made the comment that it would be nice to get a win tomorrow and have a nice plane ride to Seattle. I think the A's should forfeit the game tomorrow and rent a bus and tie all the players behind the bus and make them run to Seattle.

mikev: When life deals me lemons, I add vodka.

Englishmajor: Watching WGN with the sound turned off and the closed captioning on... so I don't know which one of them just said "I am going to state the obvious. There is absolutely no reason to throw that pitch."

DCinWC (re: Adam Dunn to AZ for 3 prospects, including a guy named Dallas Buck): Dallas Buck? We had the parts to make this guy! Dunn could have been ours!

DMOAS: Bob Geren yelling at an ump

catfish4real: hello... this is catfish4real's mother. hes sitting on the roof right now and eating his own excrement. what happened over here?

whiteshoes40: Huston Street, you're breaking my heart. [QOTM, unfortunately still relevant division?]

nevermoor (how to write a rant): It is my belief that [insert incorrect statement] therefore [insert 1000 words]. In conclusion, you are all idiots.

Gallagher's Watermelons: Innings eater? Depends on whether you want delicious innings or burnt, moldy innings. Kirk Saarloos is the Hot Pockets of inning eaters.

Gaijin_Suketto: My conjecture is that if baseball ceased to function as a business, it would evolve into a religion.

A.J. "Baty" Pierzynski

andeux: People who are not affected in any way by the move can stop telling those of us who are how we should feel about it.

Nico: I laugh to keep from crying. I drink to keep from laughing. I cry to keep from drinking. It’s a weird cycle that only makes sense when I’m sober, so I’ve never really understood it.

QOTM, Radio Division (spotted by Taj Adib)
Ken Korach: "That was really like the tortoise and Lehair!"

thejd44: Can Emil Brown PLEASE not be allowed back into the United States? Please please please.
Jennifer: I can make it happen. But I'll need a dead hooker.
thejd44: I'd considering killing a hooker to get Emil off the team

Asfan4ever723: DL Duke soon, then use eveland/dinardo... then go to to that plan of a 6 man rotation, that will be all lefties…if this team sucks, at least make it weird and interesting
thejd44: Can we then call up Jay Marshall, sign Mike Myers and Kelly Wunsch, and get Chad Bradford back? So we can have an all-submarine bullpen?

whiteshoes40: The Chron accidentally said "Chad Pennington" in one of the articles today. Oops.
Leopold Bloom: Let's hope our Pennington has a better arm.

inbillywetrust: help...going to my first rivercats game... any helpful hints or tips?
FreeSeatUpgrade: Stay at least 50 feet away from Travis Buck

Englishmajor: I think the players have a pool on how many people will go on the DL this year.
gigglingone: just make sure they don't dive into the pool

lynnzgal: My heart hurts!
oblique: Perhaps you should call a cardiologist? Or go for a brisk 30 minute walk?
lynnzgal: I tried that... and now my ass hurts too!
lynnzgal: The walk, I mean, not the cardiologist.

OldhamA: Are they trying to run Ziegler into the ground?
louismg: Who else would you rather have out there? Ziggy can blog and pitch in the same day! He's invincible!

miggyk2: My dad informed me today that we won't be picking up the option on our season tickets for next year. Apparently this 10 game loosing streak has really got him pissed.
Nico: Attendance next year is going to be embarrassingly low
miggyk2: My family is not that big.

catfish4real: i'd even sell my grandmother for a decent bat prospect
WaddellCanseco: How many goats does she fetch?
miggyk2: she can swing the rake really nice
WaddellCanseco: The goats may not like that.

robbo650 (re: Emil Brown's AN nickname): whats DFA?
Flashfire: Dude's Fucking Annoying

mikev: Okay, this is ridiculous. It's really time to overhaul the ENTIRE medical staff.
buddahead9: Can they do it via a crappy reality tv show? "So you think you can be an Athletic Trainer?!?"

robbo650: why was duke taken out????
JediLeroy: He was traded mid-game for Ruben Sierra and the rights to Madonna's cone-bra

rightbackin: Are they trying to say that engineers have a ton of sex or they get no sex? I might have to change majors
5Aces: It could be that they get almost no sex, but what they do get weighs a ton.

Nico: AP story about new guidelines for Cincinnati priests: "The Archdiocese of Cincinnati has issued a detailed list of inappropriate behaviors for priests, saying they should not kiss, tickle or wrestle children. The archdiocese's Decree on Child Protection also prohibits bear hugs, lap-sitting and piggyback rides. But it says priests may still shake children's hands, pat them on the back and give high-fives."..... Hey, little 5-year old Tommy- you fell down and got an owie on your elbow? Let me shake your hand
monkeyball: but are priests allowed to give children terrorist fist-bumps?
Nico: Depends where the fist goes, I reckon. If the fist-bump takes place in the rectory, probably not.

thejd44: That was weird... Maybe Sweeney is getting stigmata or something.
green star oakland: Christ, what a palmhole

Brian in 317: From the A's website: "He is four innings shy of tying Grover Cleveland for the longest scoreless streak by a rookie"...... I think they forgot something there, unless the former President had a secret baseball career.
5Aces: What's even more amazing is that the streak was set over 2 non-consecutive years.

GreenNGoldGirl (re: folks going to Cache Creek for 8/8/08): They're actually going. I'm staying home with my six year old sister. My parents are suckers for that and since they won two weeks ago, they're convinced that 888 is really lucky and they'll win.
monkeyball: could your parents be convinced to claim Bobby Crosby on waivers?

baseballgirl: This team is awful!!!! I kind of want to beat them over the head with their bats!
Nico: Good luck making contact.

justarebelheart: Are we sure the electricity works?
Jennifer: Well, we are an A's site. We haven't had real power in years.

sslinger: I miss the Your Black Muslim Bakery Veggie Burger. Extra pickles, no mayo. Complete with delivery to your seat.
batgirl: if you can look beyond the kidnapping, rape and murder... it's a great burger!

xbhaskarx: my huddy trade joke fell flat
mikeA: I liked that joke. And, hey, don't judge a joke by its outcome. If you employed all the proper methods of humor but no one laughed, you should limit the recriminations.

WaddellCanseco (on "A's Hit Way To Seventh Straight Loss" game wrap): I made the mistake of reading QOTM before this, and I kept looking for jokes in each post. I didn't find them but I was smiling anyway for no reason.
monkeyball: we should follow that routine before day-game threads

mikev: almost as confusing as the NBA salary cap rules.
PaulThomas: I've never even begun to attempt to understand those... I follow college ball, which is simple—13 scholarships, and you can get whoever wants to play for you.
mikev: Well, in defense of college hoops... They've got a pretty complex player-payment system in place, as well.

WaddellCanseco: Shouldn't we save Emil for an RBI situation?
theblackpearl: In about another week, then

Jennifer: Huston Street! Weeee!!
LiZaRdReVoLuTiOn: That's what Youkilis said when he doubled.

ak_A: apricot? apricot apricot..oh yeah, i remember nice post. And Hopey is great name for A's fan.
xbhaskarx: not as good as Tradey

Trainman: God Troy Percival sucks... Two home runs and screws his team
iglew: That's a lot of scoring.

Colorado Fan: But who would you take in the Cage Match???
In the Blue Corner: Dickie Harden
In the Red Corner: Cupcakes Blanton
In the Green Corner: Mister GallagherDonaldsonMurtonPattersonCardenasSpencerOutman
We Win!
oakinboston: i dont understand... all the Red Corner has to do is roll to the right, suffocating the Green Corner, and then ask the Blue Corner to throw in the towel, causing an oblique strain, and he wins.

OaklandSi: Warm Springs BART does not exist. Even if they do manage to build it it will still be too far away for many people.
sf drift king: Have you seen the butts at the hot dog lines? A brisk walk will do them well.

FreeSeatUpgrade: Did you check the pockets of the pants you wore last night? That’s where I usually find stuff I misplaced. Perhaps that’s what happened at Wellesley College, where they seem to have misplaced a painting worth millions of dolllars.
salb918: The pants that Wellesley wore last night are usually found at MIT.

Jennifer: My brother came in while I was cutting up the tomatoes for salsa. Some of them were a little juicy and squirted when I stuck my knife in. The kitchen was a mess. His reaction: "Was there a murder?"
theblackpearl: I don't know where the pieces of my mother are, but I know where the A’s are.

brenarlo: Would the D'Backs be interested in Ellis? He's not worth much right now, but he could fetch something interesting.
monkeyball: the morning paper? my slippers? the tv remote?
Leopold Bloom: Peet's.

Okay, I'm officially too tired to do anything more than post the links to stuff right now...

Poppy has dibs on Cust

The DL record falls

The A's need AFLAC

Huston Street sighting

Cunningham's family tree

Dog Day lineups

Embree & Street's crossroads

Frivolous-Usage-Of-"QOTM"-OTM

Hookers for everyone

Goat filtration

"How the hell did a comment reminiscing about Bill King and Miguel Tejada turn into a discussion of LiZaRdReVoLuTiOn's almost-naked father??"

Hidey Fleiss

gotgreen's BobbleChavy vandalism

Poetic Interlude OTM: andeux's Fifty Ways To Leave Your Runners

Susan Slusser and Ray Ratto try to restrain a greedy monkeyball

FLAIL (and the exchange that followed, about the shard)

Image-Within-A-QOTM-Nom-OTM

LinkOTM, according to nevermoor in the 8/13 DLD

Flashfire wanted to say "POTM"

baseballgirl thinks this whole tangent should be QOTM

Anna Elizabeth Jeepers: The "O RLY?" baby (but I don't think so, because the "O RLY?" baby is creepy as hell, and Baby Jeeps is actually cute)

Staplehead

rubin sierra tagged this and he's got an honest face, so I'm including it even though as soon as I saw it was more than a couple of sentences long, I chose not to read it.

HAPPY SEPTEMBER BIRTHDAY! to:

9/18: salb918
(salbjr also has a September birthday, but I can't remember the date)
9/24: Rickeyfan
9/25: whiteshoes40
9/26: Ryan Armbrust

QOTM - July

Poppy — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:04:03 -0000

No matter how many times we have conversations like this, QOTM will still just be one big, undivided, unrated, filthy mess each month... But at least I have recovered (mostly) from the psychosis that was triggered by the Rich Harden trade.

And I haven't compared it to April, May and June... but... this thing is getting bigger, isn't it? (that's what he said) I think I may have to boycott Nico next month (that's what... never mind).

Ah! Fun with captions! I made them into LOLjocks by using roflbot, but, unfortunately, I can't take credit for the caption ideas...

By monkeyball:

And by Swooney's Left Foot:

Also amazing (Non-Caption Division)... The Bobble Village's tribute to Ziggy's record-breaking career-opening ERA!

Now for the quotey bits, in a pile that's kind of sorted, but mostly not.

Jennifer: With the sun shining on MaEl over there at first, it makes him look like he has been sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows.

Blez: Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Curve, duke, duke, duke of Curve... I would've said cutter, but curve just seems to fit better.

I have no idea what this is about, but it was nominated.

Cutthemullet: I tried to recommend myself, but I couldn't…that needs to be fixed. Narcissus has spoken.

calgbear: Emil designated that ball for assignment!

OptimistPrime: MaEl trying to bowl someone over is like a Geo Metro crashing into the Queen Mary

alox: Hannahan just had his photo with his last remaining fans. I’m sure his mother will want him DFA’ed before the game ends.

149: I was thinking, "Wow.. Barton and Sweeney are roommates? Barton must come home to a towel on the door knob a lot."

Leopold Bloom: Have I mentioned how money I think Blevins is? He's got ice-water pumping through those frail, little-girl arms of his.

Nico: Can I get two BK Broilers and a small Pepsi? {shouts into Kielty's mouth}

theblackpearl (re: where's a good place to sit at the Coli): Try the dugout. With all the injuries, half the team is unrecognizable, you could slide right in, maybe play a little ss while you are at it.

Kimberly: Huston Street, you're breaking my heart.

What's in Larry Davis' fanny pack? Well...
Mark H: Merit Light 100's, Snicker's, Pix of hot women he once dated/sort of knew (but not really), MS Degree from now-defunct online university, leaky pen from 1997, autographed card from Sal Fasano, Rabbit's foot, crumpled piece of paper with words "Lefty = Loosey, Righty = Tighty", another crumpled up piece of note paper "From the Desk of Mark Ellis" on which is written, "Larry – I know what you've been up to. One more injury and I go to Wolff with this. Your career is littered with the bodies of hurt ballplayers. Do you enjoy Langerhans starting in Center? No? Neither does anyone else. Regards, Ellie." , promotional condom from `88 Olympics, 1/2 pound of Havarti, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, 3 aspirin, 1/4 ounce bag of weed, carefully folded up bag with remnants of last bag of weed, St. Pauli Girl opener, 2 lighters (both not working), matches from Francesco's, address book, gold necklace with Christ-on-a-Cross, resin-coated glass pipe, and sourdough bread crumbs. I think that's it.

AsFanInLA: A Visine bottle filled with sunscreen

Nico: Christ - I'm surprised one of our players can even hit the bottom of a shallow swimming pool.

theblackpearl: If Billy Beane read AN on a daily basis, Carlos Gonzalez and Ryan Sweeney would be in the outfield, only Mark Ellis would be in the infield, and Ziggy on the mound. Everyone else would be DFA'd.

Leopold Bloom: I get the feeling that if I had, say, a room full of bodies that needed to disappear, Stern would be preferable to Selig. In fact, he might be the first phone call.

Englishmajor's #1 comment on this diary.

Nico: Headline: A'S LOSE FORFEIT WHEN PLAYERS NEGLECT TO TOUCH HOME PLATE
"That's all they had to do," Commissioner Bud Selig said, his head shaking in disbelief. "When I got to the ballpark, though, the 3Bman was lying face down in the grass, and the 1Bman was diving head first off the dugout roof into an empty bucket. So I decided to declare the game a tie."

monkeyball (re: some tri-state killing spree perp that FSU *wrongly* thinks looks like Mark Ellis): Fortunately, this is his age-28 year. His killing productivity is likely to decline. Impressive range, though.

gigglingone: I want to see Outman marry Striker's sister, and then their kids would be named Striker-Outman. That would be awesome.

Swooney's Left Foot: If I created a new name every time an A got hurt, I would do nothing else.

A'sfaninNC (on an incoherent vegasgm diary)(yes, that was redundant): Just for fun I tried to copy and paste this post over to Word, but my computer gave me the finger.

OaklandSi: Cotroneo mentioned that Thomas and MSweeney might be activated soon, to "bring reinforcements over the hill." Might be more accurate to say that such reinforcements are "over the hill."

PaulThomas: The Lidle crash was Billy's fault? Damn, now I have to cancel my order of "Beane is my co-pilot" stickers.

Nico: How long until Blanton and Ryan Howard have an eating contest (to see who can eat the other)?

74mk: Headline: grover Calls Street Dickhead

elhefe: It's a bourbon - called Blanton's... But you choke after a fifth.

stormtown: I could do without Tony Gwynn telling me I'm going to die, also.

nevermoor: On AN anything that isn't "best in MLB history by a wide margin" is "above average." As an example, someone was rating our team a month or so ago, put our defense as #2 in baseball, and gave it "a tic above average." If his WHIP was 0.5 then it would be "fine to good" and 0.1 would be "good, but unsustainable."

Joey C.: Jack Hannahan and Donnie Murphy back-to-back... "A rally was found murdered in Oakland. Police have 2 suspects."

jeepers: Prince Fielder is a vegetarian? Did pork become a vegetable when I wasn't looking?

Nico: El Paso's user name is ohtobelikehouston.

rubin sierra: I blame you... Billy read your comment about his setting the bar too high for Blanton and then lowered it. Two hours ago, I tried briefly to compose a reply warning that Billy could also set the bar too low, but there was a glitch and my reply didn’t post. "Oh well," I thought, never imagining that my failure to reply would change the course of A’s history.

oakinboston (to a new user): I notice that you have 6 comments. You should have at least 7 fAnPoSTs by now.

Flashfire: E-mail's in my profile if you want to touch bases and work it out.
Nico: Eric Byrnes' email is in his profile, so how come he doesn't want to touch bases?

RIPHalsey: "Fear Mecir"... Still one of my favorite ballpark signs
KMoAsFan: Yeah me too. Except as A's fans, I think we were the only ones in the ballpark "fearing" Mecir.

Jennifer: RyRy, you suck. You can forget about fathering my children, loser.
monkeyball: So, he already has fathered them, you just don't want him to remember it?

SwampyD: This team is going to be so good in two years.
Nico: Or will have a heck of a DL.

pam5981: Well, this looks promising...
ohtobe21likehuston: Does promising mean "shitty" in California?

jeepers: Definately. The A's should bundt more, 2.
Gaijin_Suketto: less Cupcakes, more Bundt!

PaulThomas: There is no truth in La Verdad?
Poppy: Just verdadiness.
PaulThomas: Who's your verdaddy?

IowaA'sFan: If I had a son, I was going to name him Hudson. But I had a girl.
gigglingone: Did you name her Huddaughter?

PaulThomas: I find it surprisingly annoying that fangraphs refuses to recognize "Greg Smith" as Greg Smith, and forces you to actually literally type "Gregory" Smith.
mikeA: fangraphs is run by Smith's mom

One won lost won: And, AN should have organized a "Welcome BACK!" for the Athletics at the airport!! Except, I’m not sure if they fly into Oakland….wouldn’t that be embarassing!!
Nico: They'll probably fly into Sacramento out of habit

briandouglas (at the end of a long rant): I'm going to go rant at my dog now.
Flashfire: I bet I know what your dog will be thinking... "Sausages? Sausages! Please, sausages!"

oaklandSMASH: Swooney: "Isn’t this your fourteenth rootbeer float today?"
Leopold Bloom: "Quiet, root beer monkey! And take off your pants!"

jubjub: It's 7AM here on the other side of the pond and no one was traded overnight. Missing all the games due to the time difference is one thing, but all these trades while I sleep have felt like someone keeps breaking into my house overnight and stealing my house plants and replacing them with seeds and a jug of miracle grow.
whiteshoes40: I watered our roses with Miracle Grow a few weeks ago and now they're almost as tall as me… so that's gotta be a good sign, right? With this method, the new players will at least grow to be 6' tall. As for baseball skills, well, I haven't tested the roses on that yet. We'll see.

solotar: What exactly does Cust have to hit to lose his job?
WaddellCanseco: Beane's daughter?

baseballgirl: I hate the offense, but I love me Ryan Sweeney!
One won lost won: Hate? Love? Such strong descriptions for a game played only for entertainment. Now, if you played that Aztec "ball game" where the losers lost their lives, you might be saying those things.
baseballgirl: No, I'm pretty sure I hate the A's offense.

Poppy (re: guy whose "mountain lion attack" claim proved to be false, after county officials dispatched hunters to track the cat down): So I got all pissed off for nothing? I'm gonna go kick that guy's ass.
monkeyball: Then he really *will* have been attacked by a cougar!

PaulThomas: What does Patterson and Gallagher sound like? A bad cop show?
andeux: A triple-A baseball team

green star oakland: But it has to be a 3-way including StL so we can get Pujols too.
Swooney's Left Foot: Most 3-ways involve poo holes

Poppy: Damn AN 3.0... That was supposed to be a reply to andeux.
popcornjames: What am I, chopped Langerhans?

WaddellCanseco: When you have a chance to get a guy like Gallagher, you take it! Did Beane really say that?
BigTuna: No, his Supercuts bowlcut did

Jennifer: HOERUN!! WOOT!
monkeyball: Are you trying to scare away Swooney's girlfriend?
(I think that one is my favorite because of the awesome mental image I get: Jennifer, eyes blazing, brandishing a shotgun while leaning out the window of her onrushing car...)

Morgasm: injury delay... Who was injured?
Taj Adib: Cy Young. Apparently he's dead!

jwnewman: I had to poop like 30 minutes ago, but this game is soo exciting that I don't have to anymore.
theblackpearl: You must be an Angels fan, because you are FOS.

monkeyball: maple bat imbroglio... Wasn't that Ice Cream's sigline at some point?
5Aces: No- He was the guy the Cubs traded Lou Brock for.
(If anyone would like to explain that pun to me, go for it.)

Flashfire: We need more 71-year olds throwing BP
gigglingone: can't... they are all starting for the Giants

xbhaskarx (in the fAnPoSt Etiquette diary): can you please delete this diary? it's taking up a valuable spot in the recommended diaries section.
Nico: Comments like yours push important comments like this down farther on the page.

PaulThomas: I'm guessing the Cardinals aren't really feeling a burning need for a first baseman right now.
monkeyball: Christ, what a Pujols

ChrisB: Hmmm... On paper it does not make much sense. Let’s hope there is more in the works
ru155: maybe the Cubs threw in Wrigley for our Fremont location

ohtobe21likehuston (re: the All-Star Game): My local news just pre-empted. WTF??
Flashfire: Is the anchorwoman named Heidi?

Kimberly: I want to give Dan Uggla a hug. Poor boy.
Hit4TheCycle: A Huggla?

In a CurveballKing diary: A season of mediocrity gives us our first big chance to turn Michael Inoa into The Great Pumpkin: a supernatural, possibly-fictional savior whose velocity and pinpoint control will solve all our problems and make life worth living again. I foresee at least three or four seasons in which all of us can be Linus sitting in the pumpkin patch on Halloween, telling our respective Sallies about how while He didn't come last year or the year before, The Great Pumpkin is sure to arrive any minute to pass out toys to all the good little children and lead Oakland into postseason glory.
FreeSeatUpgrade: Just wait, you'll see! The Coliseum is the most sincere concrete patch anywhere!

Jennifer: Franky-Frank in.
Nico: He throws fastball, slider, curve, and furniture.

ohtobe21likehuston: At least it's not past midnight where you are!
oblique: You should change your username to ohtobe10:00likeoakland

athleticsBB4life: Ellis has been suckin' for some time now. AN needs to start ridin’ this guy…it’s only fair
Joey C.: If you have a panic room, I suggest you go to it now

Swooney's Left Foot: Murton still not on Sacramento roster. It’s been almost 72 hours.
Nick: Did Chicago get a tracking number for him?

WaddellCanseco: The Royals guy says Street reminds him of Eckersley
Poppy: He means Street came up to him and said, "Remember Eckersley?"

stranahanahan: I don't want to lose Duke, but Poreda will blow guys away in 3 years, guaranteed…
Nico: We didn't mean to rain on your Poreda

mikeA (re: what's for dinner?): Giant tupperware-ful of coleslaw…......
ohtobe21likehuston: Disappointing. I thought you would have A's tupperware?

RenoTy: There sure don't seem to be many fans left…Were there any tonight?
mikev: Dozens.

Gaijin_Suketto: How come Australia and England didn't get into a punch-up during the Bodyline incident? If something like that had happened in baseball, benches would have been cleared and there would have been a pile of bodies on the middle of the field…
Dalesman: Because it just wouldn't have been Cricket, old man.

Nico: Screw you. Which is New Yorker for I love you.
WaddellCanseco: What's New Yorker for "screw you"?
Nico: "Can I take your order?"
WaddellCanseco: What's New Yorker for "can I take your order?"
Nico: Strangely, it's "I love you"

franks a lot: Domestic Abuse and Aladdin Bail Bonds...nice commercials
thejd44: Like A's baseball doesn't make you want to beat the crap out of your loved ones

jeepers: Hold me closer, crotchly bunter!
Take a fastball off your thighway!
lynnzgal: Haha! Now do the Hannahan version.
jeepers: You can tell everybody
your swing is long
it may be quite simple, but
THAT BALL IS GONE!

Rebuilding Season: Report: Joey Devine has fallen into a pool of puppies and injured his forehead. Alcohol and cuteness may be involved.
Nico: Apparently the dogs were shallower than he thought

ohtobe21likehuston: I feel a rally coming
One won lost won: Nice turn of phrase. I think I’ll use it the next time a BM is urgent.

mikev: Because he's like 28 and repeating AAA for the fourth time?
Satchmo22: then by god he's our type of fella

black beane: Nothing is happening
oakinboston: you sound like my x-girlfriend.

WaddellCanseco: I'd want something more than a sandwich for Embree
mikev: What if it was a footlong from Subway though?
WaddellCanseco: You're asking whether Embree's worth more than $5?
mikev: Depends on WHICH sub... Ham and Cheese, probably not. Meatball or sweet onion chicken teriyaki? DO IT.

OptimistPrime: OMG... be still my beating heart...
bigfoot
loch ness monster
back to back jacks from the A's
alox: At least one event has been documented on tape. Are you listening MLB?

monkeyball: Byrnes jaywalking would look like Frogger
Sliderule: Jack Cust would step into the street and just watch the truck come and level him, thinking it was going to miss by a hair.

mikeA: Speaking as an A's fan from 2005-2006, I'm unfamiliar with the term "jaywalking"
andeux: Think Witasick, not Payton

franks a lot: Cue "Dumb and Dumber" quote ... "So you're saying there's a chance!"
OldhamA: Cue my love life!

rickey939: Rotoworld has Kenny Williams running around trying to find a 3rd or 4th team involved so he could nab Street
thejd44: He and Beane should collaborate on the first ever 30 team trade. I want EVERYONE involved in this deal.

FreeSeatUpgrade: ...don't see bbg around here so much anymore. She was the writer I worried about most during last year's bleakness.
Nico: She tried to end it all by asking Crosby and Cust to put a sword through her heart – but Crosby missed and Cust just stood there.

monkeyball: Best. Team name. Ever. Mike Hargrove is back in organized baseball ... managing the, um … Liberal Bee Jays. I swear, that's not a CGV. I mean, even Googling it is SFW.
Satchmo22: whoa... they need a team store
monkeyball: and interns (OK, *that* might be a CGV.)

Morgasm: Its my nickname. Gotta love it. I was hoping it wasn't against the CGV.
lynnzgal: Trying to think of a variation of it for myself.
IowaA'sFan: Cunnilynnzgus?

mrod: So can we now say, pretty much universally, that it makes buckko sense to lock up The Duke for at least the next three years?
Buck Turgidson: beaux coups?
monkeyball: no, I think he meant "bukkake sense"... As in, giving even a medium-term solid-money commitment to an aging pitcher with serious health issues could end up all over our face.

buckfan6: Yea i miss ethier
Nico: We are dangerously short on left-handed hitting young OFers who might be good but won't be great!
OldhamA: It's the new market inefficiency.

HRH: Nice shoes A-Rod
Jennifer: He secretly wants to be an A.
whiteshoes40: Didn't he wear white shoes at a previous ASG too? He’s just jealous of our style.
lynnzgal: Trying to appear virginal
ohtobe21likehuston: I hear he's dating a girl that's "like" a virgin

buckfan6: Cust is Worthless
FreeSeatUpgrade: There's probably some silver in his teeth
monkeyball: certainly no gold in his glove

salb918: I guess if we have to get a pitcher, a dude named "outman" is as good as any.
Nico: Better than Walker or Balfour
PaulThomas: Or Homer Bailey
Nico: Or Walkoff McBalk
PaulThomas: No, no... It's spelled "A-R-M-A-N-D-O B-E-N-I-T-E-Z."

str8tarrow: When did we pick up TBD? He is scheduled to pitch on the A's site. Seems kinda dark and ominous in his picture.
monkeyball: Tampa Bay Dan?
green star oakland: Tampa Bay Devil, if only to hear this exchange:
Fosse: "Who's pitching tonight, Ken ?"
Korach: "Tampa Bay Devil, Ray"

Flashfire: Why do people recommend putting players at positions they don't play... like it’s just a normal, everyday thing?
Poppy: Flashfire, for your next minor league game, I think you should sketch the players.
Flashfire: Sure, if you like crappy stick figures.
Nico: Blevins isn't that bad.

whiteshoes40: I'm going to think that this whole stocking-up-on-2B-prospects thing is just in preparation for some sort of middle infield holocaust...
monkeyball: "middle infield holocaust" would be an awesome username
PaulThomas: ...for a Brooklyn Cyclones fan
(context here... Ed.)

monkeyball: Beane's gonna field 8 Figginseseses
Nico: They would out-steal 8 Hattebergs
andeux: Paul DePodesta did some simulations and determined that a lineup of 8 Chone Figgenses would run really really fast.
Nico: I heard the simulation had him thrown out stealing eight times by Octopusman.

emar24: "Casey Blake is a gamer," Dodgers GM Ned Colletti... Casey Blake has .400 gamer percentage as well as a 1.020 GHP (grit average + heart percentage). I hear he owns the biggest run manufacturing plant in Georgia.
Gallagher's Watermelons: I believe the run manufacturing plants were shut down by the Georgia Run Emission And Totally Pre-emptive Industrial Time Coordinators' Insight/Nuance Group (G.R.E.A.T.P.I.T.C.H.I.N.G.)
Zonis: The MAA (Mother's Against Acronyms) currently has a lawsuit against them. They believe there IS such a thing as a pitching prospect.

(on "How To Add A Hitter" diary)
OptimistPrime: Whew! Relief….I thought the headline read "How to add a HITLER"
monkeyball: Crushing defeat at hands of foes, check
Fiscal crisis, check
Resentment at outside world, check
Radical restructuring of system, check
Emphasis on youth, check
Invasion of neighboring territories, check
Uh-oh …
andeux: Just wait until the A's start signing the 94 Scott Hatteberg clones from Brazil.

franks a lot: Choose your own AT BAT Adventure
5Aces: But every path I try keeps ending up at the double play on page 72!
Philip Christy: You are Bobby Crosby.

Jennifer: Wow. Today really sucks.
GreenNGoldGirl: Doesn't every day suck for a pessimist?
oblique: Not as much as tomorrow will.

Good ol' April Casilla...

What to call oblique's funk band

I'm not sure exactly what was being nominated here, but I'm tired. Y'all figure it out.

Swooney's Left Foot's Dead Grandma

Nickname Of The Month subthread

Laundry

sprtsnwyn's first blockquote!

Diary Of The Month club:

Optimist Prime
Reg
Jeff at LL
74mk, sort of.

Commentary on YES network (reported by schmifty):

"Oakland pitcher Dallas Braden, you would think, there’s gotta be a Texas connection there somwhere, huh? He was born in Phoenix, Arizona! But he did go to Texas Tech"

"Yeah but… I would think he had a name before he went to Texas Tech."

And HAPPY AUGUST BIRTHDAY to:

gigglingone - 8/7
kaweahkaweah - 8/23

fAnPoSt Etiquette-marm

Poppy — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:58:44 -0000

Another big A's News Day is upon us -- not as big as last week's, but still big enough to generate some terrific discussions in a couple of diaries, and big enough that some of us will be tempted to post superfluous diaries of just a few sentences addressing no new topic.

The rash of identical-content diaries that pushed all worthwhile reading off the page last week was extremely ridiculous, and I was (and remain) flummoxed as to why none of the moderators/administrators/whateverators said or did anything to try slowing the spread of the epidemic at, say, the 7th or 8th same diary. Instead, the scourge grew to (at last count) *23* diaries. Twenty-three, over the course of a just a couple of days... and most of those could easily have been a simple comment in one of the many existing diaries.

All I ask is this (and I don't think I'm alone in asking it): Help preserve the longevity of other diaries in the list by checking to see if there is already a place where your topic of interest is being discussed, and add your points to the discussion there. Please do not create a new diary if you have nothing truly new to say, because when you create a new diary, other diaries get pushed down the list and off the page. The section of "recommended" diaries is not large enough to accommodate all the other things that are also worth reading, and that deserve to be visible for more than a day or two.

Right now, the Blanton trade is being discussed in three excellent places: Zonis' post, which he created first while watching news on SportsCenter before anything had broken in print yet; a front-page post that links to Zonis'; and OaklandA23's Press Release post. We don't need any more... I wonder if five more appeared while I was writing this...

DLD 7/14/08

Poppy — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:09:32 -0000

From BP's The Week In Quotes:

"I guess I can say that they have engaged us in the past and I've told them that I have too many people, maybe not too many people with the same ability, but too many people at the same spot that you have a lot of dollars committed to."
--Yankees general manager Brian Cashman, on the prospect of signing Barry Bonds.

AON WTF, I would swear that Brian Cashman was wearing a Thunder shirt at the Futures Game yesterday. I can't find a picture, but it was a polo shirt with the word "Thunder" on the left breast under a small image of something dark blue with a lightning bolt... like the Warriors mascot. Weird.

SuSlu post at The Drumbeat: Duke still feeling ill, may not get into tomorrow's game. I had wanted him to be able to pitch in the game (since he wanted to... or maybe it was that he wanted to roll ripe fruit downhill at oncoming cars with monkeyball, I can't remember) -- but if he's sick, then no. I want him to get as much recuperative time as possible before the season resumes.

Looking ahead to the waning days of the season, and the approach of autumn...
No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Today's Daily Thing That Really Pisses Me Off:
A federal trapper hunting for a local mountain lion, which will be murdered when they catch it, because it attacked a hiker... who was hiking... in the mountains. Hey, the mountain lions were here first. Wear it. If people want to hike in Foothills Park (which I have done many times, it's beautiful -- or at least it was 10-15 years ago, don't know now), they might get jumped by the local wildlife, although very, very, very, very unlikely. And sometimes big cats wander down into the 'burbs, where they don't attack anybody, but are generally shot down out of the trees they climb to escape from residents' dogs. Don't want mountain lions or bobcats to wander into the 'burbs? Stop issuing land-hogging mansion permits for rural areas. I'm looking at you, Santa Clara County.

And it's official: McFood will not be attending the Olympic Games in Beijing.