Hello, fellow nerds. My name is Pops and I drink recreationally. Which brings me to the point of this here Fanpost: you are all cordially invited to attend our annual Labor Day Riverfest Party in Newport, Ky. on Sunday Sept. 6th. There will be food by yours truly and a certain famous local Cincinnati chef. There will be fine beers, wines, liquor, and vanilla extract. There will be a juggler if you decide that you'd like to juggle.

       The point here is that I consider you all to be part of my bizarre family. No less bizarre than my own blood relations, to be sure, but family none the less, and we'd be honored if you would consider joining us for a party that is always lots of fun. Because our house sits in such close proximity to the Levee, we always get first dibs on a front row area for the fireworks event, plus they can be seen from my side yard and porch. We've done this for 3 years now, and most say they have enjoyed themselves. I would ask jch, Red Menace, and snohio to bear witness to this (and even if you didn't enjoy yourselves fellas, please lie). 

         The party runs from 4 p.m.ish to whenever I pass out and our only request is that you bring some kind of dish (appetizers and desserts are preferred). Please e-mail me if you are interested in attending and I will provide you with all of the necessary information and begin to tally up the number of people we can expect. Don't worry folks, I'm not nearly as creepy as my internet persona and children are not only welcome, but encouraged (mine have plenty of toys to share). 

           If some of you would be so kind as to rec this so that it stays up for a while, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all.    

                                                                                                    ---------Your weird internet friend, Pops

Ok, so the general consensus is that the Reds will be below .500 for the upcoming season and we'll have to really gird up our loins to fein surprise at the poor showing in the standings. My contention is that this may be the true rebuilding season that the Reds have needed for quite a long time. 

Jocketty may not be a dynamic personality and he may have made a few small head scratchers (Taveras, J. Jones, etc.) but he has not given away any of the promising youngsters that could mature relatively soon and contribute to a sustained success.

Now, I will dispense with the things that we already know (like complaints about line-up construction and bench fodder being starters) and try to focus on what will be fun about '09 instead. That is the point of this post, to try and get you all to into the spirit of spring and hope and all of that. I'll keep my intuitions brief here and hopefully everyone else will fill in what their gut (Dusty strategy) tells them will happen this year.

1) Cueto breaks out. I think he's an ace in the making. I say he puts up a sub 4.20 ERA this season and is an All-Star in '10.

2) Jay Bruce lives up to his Zips projections. I think he could fall ass backward into 37 HR rather easily and improves his plate discipline. Believing in the kid is not difficult, obviously.

3) EE hits 30 HR and only throws 5 balls over Votto's head. Defensive metrics rejoice.

4) Drew Stubbs gets to play LF by July. This is my wish.

5) Chris Valaika gets a shot at SS after the trade deadline when Seabass is dealt for a minor league relief pitcher.

6) Homer Bailey wins the 5th spot and has success early and builds the confidence he so desperately needs. I say he pitches 125-150 innings. That would be lovely but difficult from the 5 spot, I know, I know, but these are my wishful guts, damnit.

So, what else? Good things will be happening amid all of the stupid double switches, right?

According to Ken Rosenthal, the deal is close to being done.

"12:01 p.m. — Reds close to signing Rhodes

The Reds have reached a preliminary agreement with free-agent left-hander Arthur Rhodes to a two-year, $4 million contract. The deal is pending a physical, which the 39-year-old Rhodes will take Friday.

Rhodes appeared in 61 games last season — 36 for the Mariners, 25 for the Marlins — and had a combined record of 4-1 with a 2.04 ERA."

I personally only think a one year deal was the right thing here, but he's our LOOGY, it looks like. Thoughts on the money?

UPDATE from Slyde: Too many years and too much money for a guy that only pitched 35 innings last year.  Also, the Reds took David Patton in the Rule 5 Draft today...

UPDATE from BK: ...and traded him to the Cubs for cash. (Teh Fay)

So here's the thing my Reds internet nerd compatriots, the WEBN fireworks on the river hold us hostage every year and there's nothing left to do buy embrace it and throw a big party. So, it's Aug 31 and it's Riverfest and we're located in the middle of all of it in Mansion Hill in Newport. Since y'all are sort of an extended family for me, united in Reds fandom pain, you are invited to the madness, but I need to know how many of you are interested in coming so we can plan accordingly. We are having it catered with servers and will have a keg, wine, and booze. Juice boxes are for the kids only, Slyde. And kids are not only welcomed, but appreciated.  

All that I ask is that you e-mail me in advance, so Mrs. Pops and I can plan. You have to bring nothing but yourselves and you are on your own with parking. I will give directions to those who need it and will give out the address privately via e-mail. It starts at 4 p.m. with dinner served around 6 p.m. It ends whenever you can drive out of the madness. I may be forgetting crucial details, so questions here will be answered whenever the hell I feel like it (between bottles and diapers actually). Thanks for being a main source of entertainment for me ladies and gentleman. This is my gift to you.

Pictures are here.

We are blessed beyond our wildest dreams. Gus Wylie Daniels was born on the 18th and weighed in at 8lbs. 7oz. and 22 in. long. Mrs. Pops was f'ing nails and Gus came out admirably feisty and ushered in a beautiful win. Will check the pregnancy pool later to see who won the prize. Thanks to any and all interested. Mrs. Pops and I were watching the game and she (In massive pain going natural) looked up from a contraction and saw Freel futz around with a grounder in the outfield and said "eh, damn, looks like he's struggling" then went back into horrific pain. I married one of the good ones..... Looks like Alan is on the clock. 

    As you might surmise from the alliterative title, Mrs. Pops and I are expecting child number two around mid-May.
    Now, I do not often post anything of value hereabouts and am usually only entertaining myself with my absurd blitherings, but I thought this might be a good opportunity for me to pull back the curtain and invite everyone here to share some of the joy of our imminent arrival.
    For those of you interested, I am asking for predictions about sex (we are not going to find out), weight, and length in inches. For the number huggers among us, I offer the following information to aid in predictions: My first child was a boy 9lbs. 8oz. and 22 in. long. My wife is 6'2" and ???lbs. (quite slim) and I am 6'1" and 203. I am one of three boys and my wife is one of two girls.

Name shout-outs might be fun too.

The results shall be posted here as soon as the little one gets here and the winner gets and authentic Tony LaRussa 8x10 glossy "enhanced" and signed by yours truly.

Thanks and let 'em rip. (the guesses, not my wife of course)    

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