More photos » by Phelan M. Ebenhack - AP

"No, I have no idea who will be working for me next season, but I'm pretty sure someone is getting coal in their stocking. Why do you ask?"

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I am not a journalist.  I have no sources and I do no reporting.  So if you don't like wild ass speculating, just skip on down to the next post.  However, this is just my wild ass guess on what is happening to the coaching staff and who will be running the Tigers offense next season.  It's an amalgamation of internet rumors and complete fabrication, but what the hey?  You've been warned. 

First off, let's review what we absolutely know.  McCarthy and Porter are both out, under entirely different circumstances.  This means the WR and RB coach jobs are officially open, though Wilson has been officially named the new RB coach. 

On more hazy news, two separate news outlets have reported two different guys have been hired as the new WR coach: Billy Gonzales and Tyke Tolbert.  Neither has been officially announced, but the Gonzales story was far better sourced and seems rock solid.  Let's make the assumption that Gonzales is on the staff.

Now, let's try and sort through the rumors.  Footballscoop, a website that is even more unreliable than we are, is reporting that OL coach Greg Studwara is going to join Porter's staff in Memphis as the OC.  Our offensive line was a massive disappointment this season, but I'd hate for that to stain his entire career.  He's been a good coach his entire career, he's entitled to a bad year.  But it makes sense that Porter would take at least one guy he knows with him, so I'm going to believe this story, meaning we have another hole to fill. 

It's no secret that I believe Crowton should be fired.  Nothing personal, but if you're the OC of the 108^th ranked scoring offense at a BCS school, you get fired.  That's how it works.  If you run an offense this dysfunctional at any school, you deserve to get canned.  Sorry. 

Now, I have no idea who the new OL coach will be, but I have a hunch we have already hired a new OC.  His name is either Gonzales or Tolbert.  Now, some rumors  have it that the deal with Tolbert has fallen through.  This is certainly possible.  He's a year or two away from an NFL pension, and who wants to leave money on the table?  It's also a lateral move from WR to WR coach, only he's stepping down from the pros to college.  So, if Tolbert is out, I understand.

However, it is also quite possible that Tolbert is still on board.  LSU cannot officially announce it has hired an NFL coach until after the NFL season.  Well, they could, but that would screw over Tolbert and put LSU on shaky ground with the NFL.  Tolbert will be free from his contract in a few weeks and then can announce he has a new job (if he has it).  From LSU's perspective, it cannot wait to get a WR coach or more importantly, a big recruiter which necessitated the Gonzales hire.  Simply put, we couldn't wait.

However, this does not preclude hiring Tolbert AFTER the NFL season ends.  The thing is, that means we have two WR coaches, which means one of them will get the promotion to OC.  Both are fine candidates.  Gonzales was the front runner for the Florida OC job after Mullen left and is probably making a lateral move because of the snub.  Or he's moving to be the OC and it's not a lateral move.  Tolbert is making a lateral move because he's an LSU alum.  Or he's coming to be the OC.  Or he's not coming at all and there really is a dispute over money. 

I think it's that we had to get a recruiter in here now, so we hired Gonzales, but we still want Tolbert.  Given his connection to the school, I think he will take the WR job in a few weeks, albeit with a pay bump, and Gonzales will take over as the OC, because I can't see why he would make a lateral move just out of spite. 

Call it a hunch (well, because otherwise it's just a guess).  But I think Crowton is out, seeing as his whole staff has just been gutted.  I think Tolbert is still in the fold, we're just delaying the hire until after the NFL season.  And I think we've already hired our new OC: Billy Gonzales.  I'm probably wrong, but from reading the tea leaves, I am pretty excited about the staff changes so far.         

On the one hand, it was a great weekend of football.  Starting with Oregon-Oregon St on Thursday, college football finally gave us a terrific weekend of games.  As a football fan, I should be happy.  As an LSU fan, I'm disappointed by the result of the two marquee games. 

I've always been sort of agnostic to Alabama.  I enjoy Tuscaloosa and it's always been one of my favorite road trips.  I admire Alabama's program and let's face it, they are one of the most successful programs in history.  Sure, they may have a strong whiff of arrogance and not a little bit of corruption, but they have a pretty full trophy case.  I've always wanted to beat Alabama, but more as a measuring stick than a matter of hatred. 

Then, the Bama game happened and ever since, our little corner of the blogosphere has been overrun by Alabama trolls.  I'm not talking about longtime commentators like Gerry Dorsey, who may be a bit of a stick in the mud, but he's always up for honest debate.  I'm talking about the nonstop parade of trolls with nothing more intelligent to say then some variant of "BAMA RULZ! LSU SUX!"*  And my hatred towards Bama sort of came to a head this season.  We had more Bama trolls on here than Ole Miss fans after the Ole Miss game, which sort of speaks to the sheer level of trolling.  Alabama is the first fanbase that has ever prompted this site to post a general warning to an entire team's fanbase. 

*ED NOTE - If you are a troll and you have been banned from this site over the past month, I did it.  That's right.  Me.  My email is at the bottom of the page, send me your hate mail.  You suck, and I don't regret for a second banning any of you.

Which means I hate 2009 Alabama more than any team in the nation.  More than Tennessee and Lane Kiffin's big mouth.  More than the infuriating Rebels, who were overrated like I said in the preseason, but still beat us so I can't really talk smack about.  More than Auburn, who just suck because they are Auburn. 

But Alabama went out there and beat the snot out of Florida.  They deserved the title, no ifs ands or buts.  That was a thorough ass-kicking.  Congratulations, Bama fan fans.  You are champions, but it doesn't mean you still aren't douchebags. 

But the game that really got my goat was Texas-Nebraska.  I root for Nebraska in the sense that Husker fans have always been cool to LSU in Omaha and they have former LSU Defensive Co-ordinator Bo Pelini as their coach.  I would've rooted for Nebraska against almost anyone in the Big 12. 

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I'm not going to pretend I know anything about LSU volleyball, or volleyball in general.  But I do know that Britnee Cooper, Sam Dabbs, and Marina Skinner were all named first team SEC, with Cooper also being name the SEC Player of the Year.  I know LSU won its first SEC title since 1991 under the leadership of SEC Coach of the Year, Fran Flory.  I also know that LSU is the #15 national seed and will host a regional, starting tonight.

Tulane is no pushover.  First off, its Tulane, and the Greenies live to ruin things for LSU.  That's all Tulane aspires to.  Also, LSU and Tulane have split their season series this year, so LSU can waltz in and think they are gonna blow out the Greenies.  We'll worry about Arizona and Texas A&M only if we get past the first round.  Survive and advance and all that. 

Honestly, it's a pretty horrible draw.  If LSU makes it through their region, which seems pretty good but I've already revealed I know next to nothing about volleyball, probably #2 Texas lies in wait.  And the Lady Horns are pretty darn awesome. 

The important thing is to go out and support the Tigers.  Football's over, people, and we have a title winning team still playing in the postseason.  Also, Cooper can claim to be one of the all-time Tiger greats in any sport, and this is your last chance to see her (and let's face it, probably the first time you will).  Geaux Tigers!

More photos » by Bill Haber - AP

He's the coach. Deal. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

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I have been gloriously cut off from the world since Wednesday, chilling out at my girlfriend's ranch in the hills of Texas.  We had a TV, so I watched the game, but I have been almost competely out of the loop for a week.  Which has given me a chance to take a step back from the team and the season.

Since I've gotten back home, I've done a cursory search online to take the temperature of the fanbase.  As a group, we are, frankly put, delusional.  Has this season been frustrating?  Absolutely.  But we set the bar at 9-3 and here we are, at 9-3.  Almost every criticism of Miles starts with some variation of this phrase, "Do not pay attention to the record."  Ummmm.... why the hell not?  If we don't judge coaches on wins and losses, what do we judge them on?  Their press conferences?  Graduation rate?  Hat size?   

LSU went 5-3 in the SEC this year, which is good but not outstanding.  Once again, Alabama has gone 8-0 in the SEC.  And that is the issue.  LSU has gone from the dominant power in the West to clearly the second banana.  The question is: Is this condition permanent or is it just these past two seasons?  Hell, I don't know. 

But here's what kills me.  If LSU runs off a coach for going 9-3, two years removed from a national title, what coach do you think LSU will then be able to attract?  This is where the delusion comes in.  Coaches may be an egotistical and narcissistic lot, but this fanbase screams Unreasonable Expectations.  One bad year and you're gone.  Oh, and the crowd support will suck.  Where were all of the fans going in the second half of that game?

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I just can't do it.  I have nothing to say.  That loss was an absolute killer.  It sucked.  And I'm not really that interested in the referendum on Miles.  I'm just tired by the whole thing.

After the game, I went to dinner.  I bought a Christmas tree.  I started making holiday plans.  The sun still came up and all that.  But I just can't talk about football after that game.  I'm done for a few days.  This one really hurt.  That was almost unforgiveable how poorly we played in the second half and then squandering so many last second chances. 

How do you let 15 seconds run off the clock before calling timeout? 

Let's all welcome JUCO All-American from the Ole Miss blog, Red Cup Rebellion.  We've had some making fun of RCR this season, but we put the knives away before the game to ask each other five questions on the game.  Go visit RCR and see my answers to their questions as well.  Come back and call me a moron.

OK, we all know Dexter McCluster is awesome.  So why has Brandon Bolden gotten more rushing attempts (barely, but still, what's up with that)? 

Um... in some ways your guess is as good as mine. Let me say this. In practice during the Spring and Fall, Bolden was awesome. In the spring game, he only played in the first drive, but that drive was the Brandon Bolden show. He is a threat catching the ball out of the backfield but is a power runner capable of bulldozing defenders.

The problem this season has been that because of Snead's struggles, Bolden has been removed from the game. Opposing defenses stack the box when he's in, and he doesn't get a good head of steam running the ball before getting hit. He has still been serviceable, helping us beat the teams that are significantly interior to us in terms of talent, but he hasn't been what people expected, and a lot of that falls on the offensive line.

Dexter McCluster spent the first half of the season being a receiver first and a running back second. I think that the coaches were dissatisfied with the play of other receivers not named Shay Hodge, so they wanted to put their best playmaker out there to give matchup difficulties. The problem is that they didn't really use him there. He was a diversion at best, displaying an inability to get open on routes that seemed to be there last year. But more than Dexter's problem, it was still an issue with the offensive line. Jevan didn't have time to get him the ball.

Now, the coaches have realized what they should have at the beginning of the season. Dexter McCluster is essentially un-defendable. Give him the ball as much as possible, and let him win the game. Against Tennessee, McCluster got the ball as the halfback in the I, the fullback in shotgun two-back sets, slot receiver, and even split end. So in some ways, he was used the way they intended from the beginning. The only difference is that now he's primarily a running back who plays wide receiver in some situations.

I know that's not directly to the point of your question, but I think it answers it adequately.

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Read it and weep...  Help me out in the comments. 

Rank	Team
1	Alabama
2	Florida
3	TCU
4	Texas
5	Cincinnati
6	Georgia Tech
7	Boise State
8	Oregon
9	LSU
10	Ohio State
11	Pittsburgh
12	Stanford
13	Iowa
14	Penn State
15	Wisconsin
16	Oregon State
17	Oklahoma State
18	Clemson
19	Arizona
20	West Virginia
21	Utah
22	Southern Cal
23	North Carolina
24	Brigham Young
25	Virginia Tech

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