Being the weirdo that I am, ever since this lovely community has embraced the "Bullpen Conglomeration Guy" in the recent set of Mariners commercials as one of its own, I've been trying to come up with a good name for him.  So, of course, when Shields turned his Twitter avatar into "Bullpen Conglomeration Guy" that pushed my brain into full steam. We had a conversation about that very thing...

The natural inclination, of course, is to take some sort of hybrid combination of all of their names. I suppose we could limit the list to those guys who appear in the commercial. Jon came up with "Shavedon Aaloweguitey" which fits this mold. "Chris Shelton" works well enough, too.

But given our past use of the Internet Anagram Server to find (or re-discover) such gems as "Reefer Jaw" (Jeff Weaver) and "Beluga Tits" (Miguel Batista), I had to spend a few minutes brainstorming over there. Working its magic, and my distorted, warped brain, I discovered this:

Barnie Nullsperm

My thinking was - we don't really have the full list of who'll be in the bullpen to start the season, so it has to be something generic.  So I used "Mariners Bullpen" as the text to anagram.

Being the community-oriented guy I am, I thought I'd run it by you weirdos. Any other brilliant ideas?

In the Seattle P-I blog this morning, Greg Johns reports that Brad Nelson signs another minor league contract with the Mariners. Link is here: http://blog.seattlepi.com/baseball/archives/190972.asp.

I, for one, am convinced Brad covers a loooot of ground at first base:

In this article, Greg Johns links to Jim Street's article saying Russell Branyan is convinced he's not coming back to Seattle:

One guy you won't see at first base is Russell Branyan, who is looking for another place to land after the Mariners dealt for Kotchman. Jim Street of mariners.com caught up with Branyan yesterday and the big slugger said he's disappointed to be moving on, but has a couple teams interested.

In Street's article, Branyan says this:

"I felt we would have moved off the number we had talked about, but we never got that chance. The talks just stopped, and I could see the writing on the wall."

Personally, I'm hoping that's just Zduriencik playing hardball. But there are legitimate concerns about his back.  That other teams have moved on from Branyan as well is further data in this regard. Branyan's options certainly are dwindling...

Heard via Churchill today that pending a physical, former Diamondback and most recently Washington National, Alex Cintron's going to be joining the organization.  And now for those of you who want real links rather than "rumors" from Jason, it was posted on Bleeding Blue and Teal, who point to the Rainiers' Twitter account as the official source. 

Will Cintron help the big league club?  Who knows, it's pretty doubtful really, but for all intents and purposes this seems like another grab of cold spaghetti from the freely available talent pool.

Good gravy after today's defensive debacle, it's very clear the M's need some major help.  I wonder if BJ Ryan, too, might be useful in a LOOGY role or something.  What a Charile Foxtrot this team is at times...

At the park (Cheney Stadium) yesterday, Churchill got word that the Rainiers are going to actually have some home games broadcast.  He mentioned it publicly in his chat today, and the word was distributed via press release at Cheney Stadium yesterday.

I'm still trying to get more info, but it'll be broadcast on Comcast Sports Net, which of course is only available to Comcast subscribers.  I'll see if I can find it and DVR it.  But Hyphen gets the start on Friday, in Cheney, and if you have Comcast, you'll probably be able to see it live.

To remind people - they added a huge video scoreboard this year, and they've had cameras placed all over the park.  I'd LOVE for them to really build a CF camera well (rather than the rented lift truck thing they use now) so I could go hang out up there and snap pix from CF.  I imagine the TV coverage will be pretty raw, but at least it's SOMEthing...

I wonder if Brandon Morrow has stock in the Duncan Toy Company -- in some ways he's been treated like a Yo-Yo...

Buried in a site that's still struggling to get off the ground, but has former P-I beat reporter John Hickey in its arsenal of writers, we find this little nugget:

    And, in fact, Wakamatsu won’t rule out moving Morrow back into the rotation, which is where he was supposed to be when the spring started.

    ``I’m not ready to go there yet,’’ the manager said.

(Seattle Post Globe article on Aardsma taking over the closer's gig).

Okay, so maybe this is a little bit of a stretch (and bad journalism) -- but you can't deny that a non-denial sometimes works itself into an affirmation.  Or at least hope...

So, we all remember Wilson "Mr. Coffee" Valdez, right?

Apparently, he's being called up to the New York Mets. With Reyes going on the DL, they needed a shortstop, so they acquired him for cash from the Indians, where he was hitting .198 for Triple-A Columbus. Here's the link.

Jeez, it really must be hard to find shortstops on the scrap heap.  As bad as Yuni is, certainly there's someone out there that can be pulled off the AAA scrap heap that would at least be slightly above replacement-level...

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The less-famous DiMaggio, Dom, passed away this morning.  He was 92.  I didn't know that he'd helped start the AFL football team that eventually became the New England Patriots.  Huh...

I wonder what it was like to have been Marilyn Monroe's brother-in-law.

I also wonder which trio was better.  The DiMaggios (Vince, Joe, Dom), the Alous (Matty, Felipe, Jesus) or the Molinas (Yadier, Jose, & Benji).

Link: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4151140

I'm sure a lot of you are aware of the story of the Seattle P-I print edition's demise, and how some of the former staffers put together a grassroots site -- SeattlePostGlobe.org. And a lot of you know that Jason wrote the Minor League Farm Report weekly for the P-I.

He's now reprising that gig for the Seattle PostGlobe, and his first article is up -- covering Matt Tuiasosopo.  It also happens to be the first time I've ever had a byline that shows I'm affiliated with someone other than myself -- yep, I'm now on board with the PostGlobe helping Jason by providing photos to accompany his writing. 

I'm still figuring out how this all is going to work, but it's pretty cool seeing something other than "PaulMPhotography.com" associated with one of my photos.  I know things are still getting off the ground there, but it's fun to be at least a little bit a part of it...

Scheduled to come off the DL, but unlikely will on Sunday.  Hey - remember John Hickey?  Evidently the post-P-I web site is up and running now, and he's posted this in the Seattle Post Globe site.  Looks like he's even scooped Baker on this news:

For one thing, the Mariners aren’t going to get lefty starter Ryan Rowland-Smith back in the rotation come Sunday. That’s the day he is scheduled to come off the disabled list. But that return has been put off by a week, maybe more, with the discovery through an MRI that he has some fluid buildup in his left elbow near the site of his left triceps tendinitis that originally sent him to the disabled list.

(emphasis mine)

Here's the link.

Say what you will about Hickey, but I'm glad to see the Seattle Post Globe site up and running.  I hear there's some good stuff coming around the corner...

If you're looking for some baseball, the baby M's are playing tonight, game's on in about 10 minutes!  Of course, it's probably too late for y'all to head down to Cheney to catch the game in person -- I actually was considering going myself until my kid had a meltdown (GRR!).

Listen to the über-awesome Mike Curto call the game right here.  Garrett "Walk This Way!" Olson is starting for the R's and Chad Reineke is starting for the baby A's.  Shelton's on 3rd and both LaHair and Morse are in the OF - my guess is that it won't be a very well-defended game.  Clement's behind the dish, and Carp's batting 5th.  Should be an interesting game for the 8-3 Rainiers...

Jason Vargas has 5 K's through 2 innings.  Unfortunately, Sacto's got the 1-0 lead right now. But more importantly:

MIKE CURTO IS BACK ON THE RADIO!!!!

You can listen for free right here: http://tacoma.rainiers.milb.com/multimedia/audio.jsp?sid=t529

Mike Curto kicks all kinds of ass, both as a broadcaster and as a person.  I'd LOVE for the M's to replace Rizzs with him. 

GOOOO TACOMA RAINIERS!!!!

Opening Day in Cheney is next Friday (April 17th).  I'll be there.  With cameras.  And lenses.  And computer.  And a coat, cause it's FRIGGIN COLD at Cheney in April.  So cold that my LaHair is frozen sometimes...

I got the news yesterday via text message from Churchill and I waited to say something until he had the info posted on Prospect Insider. Well, he just posted the news today that first sunk my heart last night:

Austin Bibens-Dirkx has been released. 

I've yet to understand why, really, but if there's one player who could take my emotional reins away from George Sherrill as the under-the-radar type to cheer for irrationally, it was Austin.

I first saw Austin a couple weeks after he was drafted as he filled in some innings in a depleted Tacoma bullpen on his way to A-ball.  I was on my way out of the stadium at the time (was with the family and our son was basically tired), but decided to stay for one of the two innings he pitched.  After he came in and had 5 Ks with 1 BB and 2 hits over 2 innings, I decided the Free Austin! campaign would begin.

Semi-video evidence of his pitching motion long before this organization effed it up so much that it hurt his arm.

And here's a still:

This wasn't what I meant by "FREE AUSTIN BIBENS-DIRKX!!!"

In her recent blog post on Tui being sent down, Drayer ponders if Tui's "success" might have some consequences, and ponders how it may affect Beltre's future with the team:

"While I very much want to see him do well, his success could mark the end of Adrian Beltre in Seattle. Adrian has been a force in the clubhouse and a gold glove third baseman. His bat I think it would be safe to say is not what the M's thought they were getting when they signed him but there is no question he has been very valuable to this team. I have said before that since there was not a third baseman ready down in the minors, in a perfect world, money be damned, I would sign him to an extension and slap a C on his jersey. I think he is that valuable.

...

Adrian's contract is up at the end of the season and many believe the M's would not have a shot at resigning him anyway, but I am not so sure it would be impossible. I don't know what the market will be for him if he is not the bat the M's thought he was four years ago. I also think that Adrian would prefer to stay on the West Coast. I know he is a Boras client and he is all about the money and the contract, but I don't know if that is Adrian's number one priority. We may not get a chance to find out. If the Mariners are not in contention, Adrian could be gone at the deadline."

While Tui's bat is most definitely coming around, unless he's found some miracle worker to help him man third base this offseason (as displayed in his SSS spring training innings there), I just don't see him as a reasonable option at 3B. 

Put it this way...

Y'all know my affinity for Mike Morse, and how even in spite of my irrational affinity for him, I'm able to recognize he shouldn't really even own a glove.  His best position is 3B, and that's being kind to Mike.  He pretty much sucks there, too. 

Mike Morse at 3B defensively >>>>>>> Tui. 

Tui's got a good arm, I'll grant him that.  But he just doesn't handle 3B well at all.

I know that Beltre's days with the team are very likely numbered.  It's like when my g-ma (my family's "C" or matriarch or "clubhouse leader" if you will) was diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer back in September.  I'm not looking forward to the day when his departure, like my grandma's last week, becomes reality...

Open House on Sunday, April 5, from 1-5 p.m.!

No, I'm not tied to the real estate agency, I just found the link in the P-I (and heard it on the radio recently), that Ichiro's old Issaquah house is up for sale!

See the house here!

With 20% down (a meager $350K), the monthly payment on your new $1.75 million mortgage is a mere $8282 at the 5.875% rate their calculator spits out.

The taxes are $13,340, though, so you better be saving your pennies there.

Huh. I wonder if he'd autograph something there if I bought it...

He's skipping today's start, because he's got some pain in his glutes.  This was reported by Shannon Drayer on her most excellent MyNorthwest.com Mariners Baseball Blog. 

Chris "Poor Mike Curto" Jakubauskas will get the nod today instead.  And yet no one mentions the reunion of Willie Bloomquist and his former team?? 

The 2009 Battle for Grass Creek gets underway today, and Bedard's out with a pain in his butt.  So nice of him to help lead us to victory!!!

I'm sure we've all heard the story about the dude that was traded for bats.  I remember the discussion here a little bit.  We probably could've gotten at least 5 bats for Sexson...

What I didn't, however, know is that the story had a somewhat-not-surprising-but-still-tragic ending, in that the dude died apparantely of a drug overdose. 

While it's not really too suprising in that he did have a history, it's definitely not funny. Or at least it isn't to me. I don't like sad endings, really.

As controversial as he may be w/r/t reporting insider scoops and rumors, he's still my friend, and it's really cool seeing my friends do cool things.

Like make their national sportswriting debut.  Jason's hooked up with Keith Law for his blog over at ESPN, helping Keith cover the MLB Draft.  Check out KLAW's blog here for more details. 

While y'all may still have issues with his breaking news reporting, you can't deny that Churchill knows quite a bit about prospects and scouting them.  He enjoys that more than anything, and I'm glad to see him getting a paying gig in the national spotlight. 

I could certainly think of worse coattails to ride than Keith Law's.

Off the field news, the commercial crew has arrived. Once again the Copacino Agency will be handling the duties. This year's lot will feature the "A New Day, A New Way" theme as well as the 100th Mariners commercial. A commemorative spot featuring Jay Buhner and Edgar Marintez [sic] will be shot to honor the milestone. The Mariners that will be featured in the other four spots are Don Wakamatsu, Ryan Rowland-Smith, Felix Hernandez and Ichiro. Filming will take place Thursday and Friday.

Linky Linky on the wall Drayer's Blog's the Fairest of them All

Okay, so with the 100th Mariners commercial and the appearance of Bone and Gar, we have to make this holy triumvirate complete by adding Junior into the mix.  Looking back at the all-time commercials, they could morph or update a few of the classics...

1) Griffey bets Wako a turkey dinner that he can run the bases without pulling a hammy (updating this classic).

2) Mixing the "Let's go with 'Winny'" commercial with "Thadeuz" to try and help fans pronounce the names of the new guys...

3) Aaron Heilman gets the Pokey Reese treatment.  Oh, wait, F those 2005 commercials.  They really really REALLY sucked.

Any other ideas?

To give everyone a break from the Griffey news, I found this little nugget to talk about.  Jeff Weaver apparently signed a minor-league deal a bit ago with the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Man, that guy just won't go away will he...

I found it in this little SI blurb on Eric Milton.  Evidently they've added Estes, too. 

So everyone has their favorite Jeff Weaver story.  Here's mine:

My son had a doctor's appointment in Seattle one afternoon, and it just so happen to coincide with some tickets that one of her bosses gave my wife. After the appointment we hung out in Seattle for quite awhile, making a stop to spontaneously buy a piano.  A quick stop through Pacific Science Center, and we headed to Safeco.  We traded the two tickets for different seats so we could get a third seat for our son. 

Weaver's on the mound vs. the Angels.  As was my custom when GS52 was still with the team, I headed down to the 'pen in the 2nd inning to say "hey!" Took my son w/me of course, and after he got done asking George and Brandon Morrow if they struck people out with their fastballs, we had to cut the conversation short because Weaver stunk things up so terribly that they had to start warming Hyphen up in the 'pen. 

That really pissed me off on so many levels.  So, hey.  Screw Jeff Weaver.

Oh, and photo: