A certain amount of prestige is necessary before one can wear, what is known in some circles, as the silk crown. One must work hard, put forth a massive amount of dedication and earn the respect of his peers prior to recklessly adorning that which displays his intelligence and worthwhile. Honor, bravado, panache and a certain thing some call chutzpah are mandatory prerequisites before carrying such a heavy burden around your neck.

What the hell am I talking about? Bow-ties. Yes, you heard me right. Bow-ties.

Only certain individuals can rock the bow-tie with the proper respect. If a man prematurely puts on a bow-tie before properly earning the necessary respect, he looks no better than Doink the Clown. He is a fool, a TMZ side-note, barely worthy of Colin Cowherd's abuse during the last 30 seconds of SportsNation (degrading enough as that may be). However, if you are worthy of the bow, the outside world looks upon you with a new-found respect. The laymen remembers your name, the casual fan affirms your decision, and the devotee confirms your selection - you are the (site decorum)ing man, and no one can tell you otherwise.

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The Niners have disappointed again, losing right out of the gates. Quarterback play has been a real issue, rookie starters aren’t stepping up, the wide receivers are near absent, the coaches seem lost and the defense isn’t throwing their weight around…

So what else is new?

We Niners fans have been exposed to this for a long time now. It seems that every year since Mariucci was tossed away like an overused bathroom rug, the Niners have had one, or all of the problems mentioned above holding them back from greatness. Hell, those errors have held the Niners back from mediocrity. Since the 2003 season, and Dennis "What is West Coast Offense?" Erickson beginning to drive this team into the dirt, it has been disappointment after disappointment. Now, in 2010, we have the latest episode of "How the 49ers will drive me bat-[site decorum] crazy…"

"For [eight] years we’ve been tested and tried and each man here has proved his mettle a hundred times over… and a hundred times again! Punished we were, the lot of us, disproportionate to our crime!" – Captain Hector Barbosa

This season, the pain is a little different. We were finally "getting respect" with most major sports media blowing smoke up our butts, telling us how good our team was all off-season.

"NFC West Champs, no problem…" "A legitimate threat in the NFC…" "I see the Niners in the Super Bowl!"

Now we are face to face with the truth, and it couldn’t be farther from the expectations we, and many analysts had.  The Niners, as they stand now, are no where even close to a playoff team. The perspective from the East coast is: so what else is new?

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So with all this Craptree stuff going on, I thought it would be nice to remember, "Oh, we dominated this weekend. We are one of the best teams in the NFL... Kick ass!" What better way to celebrate a victory than a good ol-fashioned Caption This? No better way, that's right.

I apologize for missing last week's Caption This; I was too disheartened by that Vikings loss, and with my computer heading to the great hard-drive in the sky, it was tough to get my way to NN. But now the world is right again, Bamm Bamm and the Niners D dominated, the Rams are back at the bottom of the NFC West, and the Niners have a winning record. Nice.

This week, Fearless Leader Samurai Mike Singletary finds something quite funny. I leave the rest to you Nation. Remember, I'm keeping record of wins during the regular season. Howtheyscored won the week 1 contest, and SeBaz49 won the closest Caption This EVER in week 2, squeaking out a victory by 2% with his shout out to Cast Away. Kudos SeBaz, kudos. Who will step up for Week 4?

Remember the rules, post your best caption for the photo above in the comments, then go back and Rec your favorite comments. Those with the most Rec's will make the final voting round. Cut-off for final voting will be tomorrow at midnight (pacific). Winner, as always, gets supreme internet kudos, but these kudos actually count, since it's the regular season.

Caption This NN!

Well, this has been a rough week. I still feel like I'm catching [site decorum] from my friends thanks to Brett [site decorum], that piece of [site decorum]. Add onto that a Mac laptop with a shattered screen, two tests, two papers and a dead pet gecko, and this has ranked among the worst single-weeks of all time for me. But that won't stop me from reaching you Nation (for better or worse).

I must pass along thanks though to the NFL schedule makers for putting the Rams right after the Vikings. I don't want to assume a win, but needless to say I feel pretty confident about the Niners chances here. I'm in kind of a rush to get to my alma mater's homecoming weekend, but here is a list of things you, as a Niners fan, should focus on during this weekends (hopefully) spirit-lifting match up.

Key Matchup: 49ers D-Line vs. Steven Jackson

It's not hiding that Steven Jackosn is the main (if not only) weapon the Rams have, so stopping him from getting out of control is the biggest key to victory, in my eyes. While Jackson hasn't been too much of a beast lately (just ask my fantasy team), he always is a threat for a Frank Gore-like 80 yard TD run. Of course, to pull something like that off, he'll have to get past Ray McDonald and the 49ers front four. If the big men up front can push the somewhat weak St. Louis O-line a yard or two back off the line of scrimmage, Jackson's maneuverability will be severely limited. If they can get him to dance in the backfield, be sure the Niners will be tackling him for a loss; he isn't that elusive.

After the jump, Player to Watch, Player to Loath, Fantasy Surprise/Sleeper, and more info on the third divisional matchup in 4 weeks...

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Here you go! Vote Away!

Well... Let's see if I can follow THAT up...

Describe to me a mid-September day that could get better. Exclusive interview with NN from Steve Young, after our second division win in a row, and I go 3-0 in pay fantasy leagues? Very nice! Thank you 49ers, now I can be less facetious when I celebrate the fact that we are UNDEFEATED! I hope you are all still pleased with the performance this Sunday, and while there are still some obvious areas that need improvement, we finally look like a team out there. Now that is something I haven't seen since the Wild-Card victory over the Giants during the Mooch era.

I do have one small thing to get to before the captioning. In my most recent Focus On article, I dropped the following line:

Now, I'm not saying I want to see Matt Hasselbeck injured, but IF Patrick Willis were to break his jaw, I wouldn't be disappointed in the lack of new Hasselbeck commercials.

Of course, I'm not arrogant enough to believe that my comment caused Willis to injure Hass's back, but I was not-at-all pleased to see the Seattle QB unable to finish the game. It doesn't show as much to have a victory against a team at 80% capacity vs completely healthy. I feel your pain (so to speak) Seattle fans, and I truly hope Matty-Boy gets back on the field ASAP - a healthy Hasslebeck makes your team, and thereby the NFC West as a whole, a-lot tougher.

Aaaaand moving on to happier news, the best way to put a nice little bow on top of this back-to-back-victory-celebration is a CaptionThis, right? The photo above is of the split second prior to Dashon Goldson's interception, with "Slippery" Nate Burleson reaching out in agony, and "Lock-down" Nate Clements doing the coverage on Burleson (BTW - How good was Clements this weekend? It seemed like he was in on every other play the defense made). See the replay here to get a good idea of how bang-bang the play was, and how dirty this picture really is.

I've decided this thing needs a competitive element installed, so I'm keeping tally of the regular season Caption This winners. Winner gets the title of most creative mother [site decorum]er at Niners Nation. howtheyscored is in the regular-season lead with last weeks victory, being as is last week was the first regular season Caption This. Let's see if he makes another witty caption for the picture above, or if someone else steps up... Remember the rules, post your best caption for the photo above in the comments, then go back and Rec your favorite comments. Those with the most Rec's will make the final voting round. Cut-off for final voting will be tomorrow at midnight (pacific). Winner, as always, gets supreme internet kudos, but these kudos actually count, since it's the regular season.

So, Nation, for the second, victorious time this regular season... CAPTION THIS!

Another big division match-up is upon us Nation. This week the Seahawks come to the 'Stick, and we plan to stick it to them (get it???). First of all business... Congrats to howtheyscored for winning the CaptionThis contest with the gem above. Amusing, and true; Frank Gore oozes awesomeness. Also, for the Niners Nation 3 fantasy league, yours truly and my team, The Ed Hochuli Gun Show, is in first place in Division 1, while Shulkdog's landsharks leads division two, after dominating victories by each team. 49erLou is in deaaaaad last, only scoring 55 points. Ouch...

OK now time to focus. One bird down, one to go. This is a very exciting match up that I pray plays out the way we are all hoping. Now, I'm a bit disappointed in the lack of trash talking between Field Gulls and NN - wayy too much dwelling on the Rams victory for FG, and a bit too much focus on Crabtree for NN. We have an amazing matchup here people!! Just look below at these amazing match-ups and players to Focus On:

Key Match-up: 49ers O-Line vs Seahawks D-Line

Last week we witnessed the 49ers struggle to get a real running game started with Frank Gore. Glen Coffee was thrown in there to mix it up once or twice, but a lack-of-run-O was not from a fault in the RB's, it was the O-Line not doing their job. Chilo Rachal and Adam Snyder looked lost at time, especially once the AZ DE's got past them and to Gore. Joe Staley and David Bass weren't impressive either, and it will take a dramatic improvement from all four to get this "Run-First"/"Gore-centric"/60-40 running-passing style team to a victory.

Their challenge will not be simple as they will be going face to face with the Seattle D-Line, including good strength and talent from Patrick Kerny, and Cory Redding from the DE positions. It also won't just be their front four - expect to see Lofa Tatupu and their first-round pick Aaron Curry attempting to cause chaos on one side of the line so that someone slips-through unnoticed, a common event in last weeks Niners game.

In the end, I'm confident in the ability the Niners have on their O-Line, and feel like they SHOULD be able to slow down the Seattle D enough to let Frank the Tank do his magic work. However, the Niners never stop surprising me (for better or worse) and we could be walking into a sack-lunch (num-num-num-num). Unlikely as I see it, but possible given the Seattle talent.

After the jump: Player to Watch, Player to Loath, Fantasy Superstar/Sleeper, and some more SF/Seattle Prep..

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Alright ladies and gents - Voting Time! Vote for your favorite caption for the picture above. The winner will be declared Saturday Night/Sunday morning. Massive Kudos at stake here. Game on!!

You know what feels great? Mondays after a win. Instead of sulking around, getting [site decorum] from all my "friends" such as "Ahh, Niners lost again? At least you're used to it!" and "Wow those Niners are bad, why do you still root for them?" I get to strut around, wearing my brand-new Frank Gore jersey, happy as hell that my team (along with 1/2 of the NFL) is UNDEFEATED! Who cares about money-grubbing WRs and depressing stuff like that? 1-0 Baby!!

Let's continue this celebration juuuuust a little bit longer, because it's about time to focus completely on the Seattle Sea[site decorum]s. And to, more or less, close out this weekend of celebration, why not put a nice visual bow on top of this present with a brand new Caption This!

I know I put an old Caption This up with no voting round, but it wasn't that good of a picture anyways. THIS one, now this is a gem... To give everyone a little bit of background, that is Frank Gore and Chilo Rachal celebrating the go-ahead touchdown in the 4th quarter. A bit of different rules for the regular season, post your best caption for the photo above in the comments, then go back and Rec your favorite comments. Those with the most Rec's will make the final voting round. Cut-off for final voting will be tomorrow at midnight (pacific). Winner, as always, gets supreme internet kudos, but these kudos actually count, since it's the regular season (sorry all you old Caption This! winners)

So, Nation, for the first time this regular season... CAPTION THIS!

Hey Nation! Long time no talk! I've kind of gone into hiding lately because of the beginning of grad school at Villa-no-fun. But FINALLY things have slowed down enough for me to begin writing here at NN on a regular basis, and just in time too. In juuuuust about 50 hours from the time this post goes up, the Niners will be taking the field vs the hated Cards.

So in this, the longest Friday EVER, I'm here to give all of you the easy reference for this weekend's match-up. I'll be analyzing key matchups, meaningful historical encounters, players to watch, yada yada yada. So lets do this:

Key Match-up: 49ers CBs vs Cardinals WRs

If you are playing fantasy football, you should know that this is the first time in a while that there has been a WR that is not only dangerous enough, but consistent enough, to be drafted early in the first round, and thats Larry Fitzgerald. No need to describe his accolades and accomplishments further here. Combine him with a seemingly-less-disgruntled-with-his-contract Anquan Boldin, and you have one of, if the most, potent WR tandems in the NFL today. Why are they so good? Simple; Y-A-C (or yards after catch). Fitz and Bolden can shake tackles, or break-away from the other 21 players on the field by emptying the NOS tanks and serving CB's a plate full of dust for them to dine on. Steve Breaston is another WR the Niners can not afford to overlook because of great wheels and better hands.

That being said, we shift to the Niners back D: Nate Clements has yet to live up to that contract but has seen this offensive tandem before. Dre Bly is also extremely familiar with the Card's WR's as well as the man throwing them the rock, Kurt Warner (The two won a Super Bowl together in 1999, and went to another one two years later). The big "Receding Hair-Line Accelerator" is Shawntae Spencer at right CB. The plus - his size (6'1" - 190 lbs) will help him keep up with the pretty tall Fitz (6'3" - 217 lbs) and Boldin (6'1" - 217 lbs), compared to the slightly smaller Bly (5'10" - 188 lbs) and Clements (6'0" - 205lbs).

Injury wise, Boldin is coming off of a hamstring "tweak" from the preseason and hasn't practiced in a few weeks, but according to him he should be good to go Sunday. The edge definately lies with the Cards here. I mean, their WR corps (core? ha) is the main reason why they did so well last season, and why they are predicted to do so well this season. Needless to say, if nothing else this will be trial-by-fire for Shawntae, and if you want to see whether Manusky and Singletary made a good decision starting this man, we will learn Sunday.

After the jump: Player to Watch, Player to Loath, Fantasy Superstar/Sleeper, and some more SF/AZ Prep...

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Hello ladies and gents, long time no see. I've spent the past week on vacation in So Cal, doing as little as possible, but it is nice to get back to the grind that is following what is the best football franchise on the planet. Since it has been a bit, I'm going to ease myself back into writing with something I owe you guys; a Caption This.

The picture to my left is your candidate for the first Caption This of training camp, and boy is it a good one. Summing up the whole QB battle in a nutshell - the struggle for the ball between Shaun Hill and Alex Smith. This is almost too easy, which means I expect some pretty fan-[site decorum]ing-tastic captions for this photo. You know the rules by now, suggest the best caption you have in the comments section of this article. Then, Rec your favorites by clicking action, then Rec. The captions with the most Rec's make the voting round.

The most recent voting round wasn't even close, and here is the winning caption and picture:

"God! I’m so happy you’re not JT!!!!!"

Internet Kudos to foosball4949, for dominating the Caption This voting round. And with that, I officially exorcise the ghosts of the 2008 49ers. No More JTO talk - he's a Bungle now, and not our concern. This is not the same team that missed out on the playoffs last year. This team is prepared to shock the world. This team, gray facemasks and all, will show the NFL that the NFC West is a force to be reckoned with... (OK, that's just my excitement taking it a bit too foar, but nevertheless, I'm just ready for football to start NOW).

Who else can't WAIT for Friday?? CAPTION THIS!!!

So here's the deal... I wanted to post this article about Crabtree by now, but he hasn't signed, so he's not officially a Niner yet... That kind of story gets saved until we lock that man up for 3-5 years. This Saturday morning, I bring you optimism. We've looked at the best case scenario, we've shuddered at the worst case scenario (which had some of the best comments I've seen since coming to this site), and now we are OFFICIALLY 3 weeks away from the beginning of 49ers football (vs Nolan no less... sweet).

So let's ride the optimism train for as long as we can. If we get disappointed mid-season, meh, we're used to it by now. But while whe can be optimistic, let's take full advantage of it. What are you, as a Niners fan, looking forward to the most this season? Do you want to see Singletary command a full season at the helm? Have you been biding your time until you can see Shaun Hill work 16 games under center? Is Takeo Spikes your jam, and are you twiddling your thumbs, waiting for him to dominate next to Patrick Willis?

I'll get this ball rolling... I'm moving to Philadelphia soon for grad school/teaching, and in that market it is Eagles 24/7. Plus, since I'll be a poor college student (again... Lame), ESPN is a luxury I can no longer afford - network TV for me friends. So how is a Niners blogger possibly going to be able to keep up on our Niners in a city that bleeds green? Multiple options;

A) I live across the street from a bar with Sunday Ticket - That will make for some fun Sundays.

B) My family has Sunday Ticket, and they stream all games online, so when I want to just scream in joy/frustration all year, I have a private place to do so.

C) Niners @ Eagles. [Site Decorum] yeah mother [Site Decorum]ers. 

So I guess I'm MOST looking forward to C, but in general, I can't wait to wear my emotions on my sleeve as I stomp around (hopefully) in joy because of my Niners, rubbing it in the faces of all my Eagles fans.

This year looks like some fun for me, so now let me hear about you. Do you have season tickets? Are you dating a girl/guy that FINALLY shares your passion for football/the 49ers? Are you just plum ready to see P. WIlli bend someone in half? I am truely curious (especially if you are planning to spend week 15 in Philly!)

As I sit here in front of my computer, my head pounding, my eyes still blurry, my body wracked in pain/weakness, desperately trying to think of an article topic, I tell myself "I will never, ever, ever drink again." Who would willingly do this to themselves? Sure, it was fun for a little bit, but in the end you are more miserable than you ever could imagine...

And then it dawned on me; drinking is like rooting for a football team. For a while, life is good. You are out having fun, getting score/drink after score/drink, living it up and loving life. Hell, you even have an opportunity to warm up before the drinking/football really begins (pre-gaming/pre-season). Then, you hit a wall. Drinks/scores don't come as easily, and when they come, they don't do much for you. Sure, you might get a few nice drinks/wins down the line, but in the end only one person has a fantastic night, while the others go home with a 4/10, and wake up more miserable than the night before.

Wow... that analogy went a bit too far...

So what's the point? Why am I making some of you think about your hangovers when all you want to do is talk about football? Well, in this second to last weekend before training camp gets going, we are going to begin at the bottom of the barrel. Nation, I want you to tell me your worst "Morning After" feeling. How awful did you feel after last year's MNF game vs Arizona? How awful did some of you feel the day after Steve Young retired? What about a crushing playoff loss? I want to hear about your worst "Morning After". Consider this similar to the JTO thread, a cathartic release of tension, before endless optimism takes this site over. Only without the swearing.

Now excuse me... I'm going to go dig a 20 foot hole to climb into...

via cdn3.sbnation.com

Alright folks, I'm in a bit of a rush, so I'm going to keep this short-and-sweet. You know the deal by now; vote on the best caption for the photo above. The winning caption gets to be immortalized in internet glory in the up coming "Caption This Almanac 2009", where we give "The Catch" picture a 95% chance of being awesome, and Scott McKillop's picture a 45% chance of being "ID for Used Honda Dealership" in 2016.

With the 2009 season fast approaching, we are beginning to see more and more FanPosts, FanShots, and Front-Page editorials of people making statements and/or predictions about the upcoming season. As I've said many times, my favorite part about SB nation is that it is not a place where one or two people write a blog, but hundreds/thousands of people can write about whatever they want. It is truely the best open-sports-forum you can find on the internet. As a front-page writer, I don't see myself as a Niners expert, but rather a Niners-discussion facilitator; I only hope to spark novel and interesting discussions concerning the team, and hopefully get visitors to this site to think about the Niners in a way they haven't before.

So with that, I present the 2009 Season Bold Statements. What I ask of you Nation is to post a Bold Statement about the upcoming season in the comments. What do I mean by bold? Well, a statement that is absolute, not wishy-washy, and backed up with some kind of solid reasoning. I'm not looking for something crazy, such as,

Frank Gore will have 16 100-yard rushing games this season.

While I would love that, Frank Gore only had 3 games where he broke the 100-yard rushing mark last season. So bold, yes, but unreasonable. I prefer something within the realm of reality. For example:

Mike Singletary will be a leading candidate for Coach of the Year.

This is a bit more reasonable. While bold, and VERY optimistic, it's not out of the question, since as recently as last year we have seen a rookie coach win Coach of the Year honors (Mike Smith of the Atlanta Falcons).

So Nation, give me a Bold Statement about the 2009 season, good or bad, that can be backed up with some kind of reasonable explanation. And I STRONGLY encourage people to agree with/refute people's statements (I'm looking at you methodrampage). Have at it!

Some pictures are best with no words at all...

There you have it! It shouldn't surprise anyone that the best caption for the best picture is a caption that suggests there should be nothing said in the caption.... Unless that was totally confusing to you... Anyways, internet kudos go to 9erEast, in his second comment EVER at NinersNation.com, for suggesting the winning caption.

But now we must move on to the next picture. Remember to suggest the best caption you have in the comments section of this article. Then, Rec your favorites by clicking action, then Rec. The captions with the most Rec's make the voting round, and blah blah blah you know the rest. So here it goes, Caption This!

via imgs.sfgate.com

Alright, you know the deal. Except this time, it's a big deal. A big [site decorum]ing deal. Vote on the best caption possible from the choices below for, arguably, the greatest picture in San Francisco 49ers history.

As a side note... One caption that got a lot of Rec's was howtheyscored's suggestion;

via i37.photobucket.com

This is a unique caption, and gets a one-time exemption. The picture itself is a caption, so if you vote for this one, you are voting for the whole picture as the caption, not just "TOUCHDOWN! DWIGHT CLARK". Why did I do this? Because Tecmo Super Bowl rules, hands down.

So, without further delay... CAPTION THIS!!!

via cdn2.sbnation.com

via blog.al.com

When the 49ers traded away their 2nd round pick this year to Carolina, a lot of people had the same feeling. "Well, the next pick better be fan-[site decorum]-tastic." When it came to the 74th overall pick, the Niners were on the clock. Maybe we see a nose tackle drafted here... Or a DB, someone to help over the top. Ok... There's Goodell... And the Niners select... A running back? Glen what? Like the dude from The Green Mile? REALLY NINRRSZZZ BRASSZZZ?!?!??!

I kid, I kid, but not entirely. Glen Coffee, picked 74th overall in the 3rd round, was a pick that surprised a lot of people, myself included. Sure, having a backup to Gore is important, but even with Robinson and Clayton was it necessary to take a 3 star RB with their 3rd round pick...?

However, when I began to take a look at him, my eyes were opened a little bit. Sure I heard of him, and watched him bowl over some players during college, but I didn't really get to know Glen Coffee the man. Thank goodness for the Internet, and in a few minutes, I began to see why he is a good fit within this organization.

Check out after the jump for the life and times of Glen Coffee...

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There you have it folks... I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of surprised that caption won, but we live in a democracy here folks - you picked it. Internet kudos go to tanos135 for coming up with the caption, well done good sir!

And of course, now we need a new picture to caption. Since the beginning of the recent-history of Caption This, we have been using recent pictures of the 49ers; from OTA's, press conferences, etc. I thought an interesting wrinkle to this section would be to look at some older, more recognizable pictures... And what a better place to start than my favorite 49er picture of all time.

Remember, post your best caption in the comments below, and chose your favorites by clicking Actions, then Rec. The captions with the most Rec's will enter the final voting round, some time next week...

via wwff.files.wordpress.com

Ask, and ye shall receive, schlecko...

This is an idea straight from the Story Ideas Open Thread, one that I really enjoyed, and decided to turn into a front-page story. This, as the title insists, is a cathartic release of tension over the first half of the 2008 San Francisco 49ers season. More specifically, this is for you, the Niners Nation, to get your frustration out about this man, J.T. O'Sullivan...

via media.sacbee.com

This past season the San Francisco 49ers employed a quarterback by the name of John Thomas (or J.T.) O'Sullivan, a journeyman QB than had made eight stops at seven different NFL franchises along the way to the bay (Saints, Packers, Bears, Vikings, Patriots, Panthers, Bears again, and Lions).

Brought in as a QB familiar with new offensive coordinator Mike Martz's complicated-as-[site decorum] offensive scheme, J.T. was signed to a one-year contract on February 29th, 2008. At first, he was not expected to compete for the starting QB job. However, as the season progressed, we found out that J.T. had grasped Martz's offensive game plan quicker than the other QBs on the roster (being familiar with it from his stint with the Lions), and on August 22nd, 2008, then head coach Mike Nolan announced that J.T. had moved up the depth chart to the number 1 QB.

And then it happened...

Game after game we would witness our 49ers throw away games as J.T.O. AKA Just Turn Overs, Just Terrible O'Sullivan, Just Take (him) Out, etc, would seemingly gift-wrap the ball and present it as a present to opponents time and time again. In the two wins he was leading the offense for (@ Seattle and vs. Detroit), he had 3 TDs and zero intereceptions. It was the losses that killed him/us. In the six losses where he was at QB, he had 5 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, and 11 fumbles, six of them lost to the defense, resulting in a grand TD to INT ratio of 5:17, or 3.4 turnovers for every one touchdown thrown.

We all know what happened after that. Mike Nolan was fired after a loss to the NY Giants (it hurt, I was there) and Mike Singletary was named interim Head Coach. After JTO's week 8 debacle against Seattle (Fearless Leader's first game as a Head Coach) J.T. was benched for the remainder of the season, and Shaun Hill became QB of the 49ers, turning them around from 2-6 to 7-9 (that's a 5-3 tenure as starting QB there folks) where he had a 13:8 TD:INT ratio, be it not for that god-forsaken run up the middle on MNF by Michael Robinson vs the Cardinals, Hill might have led us to the playoffs (I can't believe it still hurts)...

Now, why did I give this outline of pain and anguish from last season? Because it is time to let it all out folks. Consider this your "I hate you J.T. O'Sullivan" thread. Vent your anguish over the last season, over how crappy JTO was, over how things could have been different if J.T. didn't hand other teams games. I understand there are people out there, such as Fooch, that are happy JTO came along. Without him, Sing would not be head coach, Martz and Nolan might still be in town, Hill might not be QB now, we might not have gotten Crabtree, whatever; I understand, and agree, with some of those positions. If that be the case for you, maybe you might want to skip this thread. For those still hurting from last season, you've come to the right place. Guys, let it out all at once, and lets move on.

I am going to make a rare exception to the rules here, and I'm going to put it in bold letters so everyone knows how super serial I am about this:

FOR THIS THREAD, AND THIS THREAD ONLY, I WILL ALLOW CURSING, SWEARING, AND AWFUL, AWFUL LANGUAGE. IF YOU ARE NOT OK WITH FOUL LANGUAGE, AVOID THIS THREAD LIKE THE PLAGUE. I REPEAT: FOR THIS THREAD, AND THIS THREAD ONLY, FOUL LANGUAGE IS ALLOWED ACROSS THE BOARD!!!

To set the stage for this abuse, I have a few clips for you guys to remind you how awful it was with J.T. at the helm of the team. We have Week 4 vs the Saints, Week 5 vs the Patriots (a game we DEFINATELY could have won), and his last game, Week 7 vs the Giants. Sorry...

Well, I consider it a lesson learned. This is what I get for treating Twitter like the CNN news feed.

I was perusing some of my favorite Twitter accounts (including 49erLou's) when I decided to check back in on Tim Rattay's, see if he had any UFL updates. Much to my surprise, no UFL news. Instead, I was greeted with this, in two separate tweets:

I'm not the real Tim Rattay. I'm sorry to those who I fooled. Tim is a great QB who has posted good numbers and he deserves a chance to make

it in the football world. I never thought the media would pick up my tweets like they did. I apologize to Tim, the UFL and the fans.

I should have realized it when he failed to show up on the UFL draft list. I apologize to you Nation for being a blind, dummy fool, and to the real Tim Rattay, wherever you are, for any potentially scathing/sarcastic comments I may have made in your direction.

To make it up to you, the fans, and to Tim, I found the NFL Primetime (remember that??) highlights of Rattay's first NFL start, November 2nd, 2003 vs. the St. Louis Rams. Back in the day where He-Who-Shal-Not-Be-Named was head coach of the 49ers, Martz was HC of the Rams, Tim had a few TD's, one to Brandon Lloyd (absolutely gorgeous), one to Tai Streets (nice concentration) and one to some guy wearing number 81 named... named... oh I can't remember, just watch the clip yourself.

Ok, enough about rosters, the next season, free agents, etc. In fact, enough about the NFL COMPLETELY! I'M SICK OF IT! Ok not really, but I found this story and it is WAY too good to pass up.

I hate beginning sentences like this but... Thanks to Mike Florio at ProFootballTalk.com for finding this (grrrrrrrr); According to our "beloved" alumni Tim Rattay's Twitter page, Tim will be joining the UFL next season. He announced the move in this < 140 character message to his "Ratt Pack":

The big news: I worked out for the UFL. Coaches aren't allowed to reveal players yet, but you can bet on seeing me Thursday nights on VS tv!

Apparently the move is all set, since he continues to discuss how totally awesome the UFL is going to be:

The UFL is really starting to blossom. I love it!

and how busy he is talking with UFL teams and scouts:

Off to the airport. Gonna be in the air for most of the day. Zroom!

Oh... and he wan'ts people to know that it's not his fault he didn't have a great career in SF:

Ppl point to 2004 in SF. Everyone knows how bad that team was. TEAM. No TO, no Frank Gore. Again, look at my 04 stats.

Yeah if I had Gore and Antonio Bryant and Vernon Davis(look at Eric Johnsons stats when I threw to him) = wins

So.... What do people think about this? Does this get anyone more excited about the UFL now that we have some alumni in the league? What about TIMMAY's comments about the 49ersabout 5 years after the fact? And if any of these questions don't grab you, who is the one ex-NFL player that would make it necessary to watch the UFL?

via www.49ers.com

If you are a casual reader of this site, you know I have some kind of unhealthy obsession with our new rookie TE: Bear Pascoe. I believe he is the kind of wrinkle that can transform this team into a legitimate threat in the Red Zone; we have so many short yardage weapons. He has a great work ethic, has shown flashes of greatnessin mini-camps and OTAs, and has the body a TE should have in the NFL today. He was brought in to block (I think) but has the talent to be a good receiving option, especially in short yardage situations. However, I can't forget/overlook the most recent beast the San-Franchise has drafted at the TE position - the one and only Vernon Davis.

via allthatsfab.com

VD has been our man at the TE position, mostly because of fantastic plays in college and because he is an athletic FREAK - Strength, Size, and to quote his player page here at SB Nation,

Runs like the wind and appears to be sculpted out of marble.

During games we see flashes of this greatness (and these flashes have been showing up more and more often as the seasons go by); but we also get the VD from time to time that misses catches, seems afraid to get hit, grows alligator arms, etc. Right now, I see VD as a Tyrannosaurus Rex; incredible strength, massive body, tiny tiny arms, distracted by bright lights.

 
via bbs.chinadaily.com.cn

The situation that has come to mind, at least in my mind, is the possibility of a full-on TE competition. We have our QB competition in the works (see the Golden Nuggets below), but I see this one as just as exciting. Bear has the talent, the drive, the body and the fan following (however important/unimportant that is) to make a quick, positive impact on the team. However, he is a rookie, and the percentage of rookie players that make an immediate positiveimpact on the team is minuscule, at best.

VD has the skill and strength to make himself an elite TE in this league (see: VD chasing down defenders after a Shaun Hill interception - don't make me remember the specific game; I can't), but his history of time-to-time unclutchness (is that a word?) has held him back from the upper level of TE talent. We can most likely expect one or both of these TE's to excel this season because of Jimmy Raye-of-sunshine's history of developing TE talent (see: Tony Gonzalez - possibly the best TE to ever play the game), but if it was going to be one, which one?

So the question I pose to you Nation: This season, who will have a bigger positive impact on the team; Bear Pascoe or Vernon Davis?

Doesn't it [site decorum] you off when you look at a picture, see the caption written and say: That's awful, I could do better? If you've never had that experience, look at the caption to this picture above. Awful, right? Well, let's change that nation.

Below, vote on what you think should be the REAL caption to the picture above. These finalists were chosen from the comments that received the most reccomendations in this qualifying round. To the winner; internet kudos, the best kind of kudos around.