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RandBall's Stu

  • joined Jul 15, 2009
  • last login Apr 17, 2014
  • posts 677
  • comments 452
User Blog

BREAKFAST LINKS: Vernon Wells, Robin Yount, Replay

"I have a very particular set of skills, Doreen. Those skills are entirely based around my lifelong love of model trains. Quit laughing at me like I'm some stamp-collecting turd, Doreen. It's a legitimate hobby. Go to hell."

Ford Looks Forward to Single HOF Vote in 2017

He hopes to join former teammate Jacque Jones in the exclusive "one and done" club.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Wimberley, Slowey, Cowboy Junkies

"For chrissakes, Carole, do you even listen to yourself when you talk? DO YOU?"

Mauer: Position Switch Due to Anti-2% Milk Bias

"I don't like skim milk. It's watery."

BREAKFAST LINKS: Benson, Crain, Phosphorescent

It's a perfect machine, Ken. A perfect, elegant, lethal mach--hey, where the hell are my pants? I NEED MY PANTS KEN THIS ISN'T FUNNY AND I'M TIRED OF IT.

Twins Warn Buxton: Triples Are "Showing Off"

The #1 prospect in the minors may have to grow up by slowing down.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Arroyo, Hocking, Crain, Prine

Really? It's the holidays, Therese! You've got to be KIDDING me!

Area Blogger, Sportswriter Respectfully Disagree

The incident took place Wednesday night on the Internet.

Kubel's Back!

The longtime Twin signed a minor-league deal with the club this morning.

Terry Ryan's Identical Twin (EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW)

In a Twinkie Town interview, the identical twin of the Twins GM tells us how his master plan came to fruition.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Buxton, Coomer, Garza, Minor Alps

I swear to God, Deborah. I SWEAR TO GOD.

Mike Lamb Calls Rockies "Just to See What's Up"

The former Twins third baseman says he talked about the weather, holiday plans, "nothing much, really."

BREAKFAST LINKS: Hughes, Nolasco, Hendriks, Cronin

The Stove is too damn Hot

Minnesota Twins Talking Point Dies Suddenly

A small, private ceremony is expected to be held.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Hughes, Morneau, Steely Dan

Something you can read while sitting in the holding cell after that fight with another shopper over a goddamn blender.

TWINS TO ALL OTHER TWINS: SEE YOU IN COURT

This is a list of twins. It is very silly.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Capuano, Floyd, Harvey

Not your father's linkdump. Of course it isn't. He doesn't even have a computer. Why would you even think it was was your father's? Jesus, get it together, Kathleen.

OPINION: Twins Should Of Moved Mauer, All Right

Anoka resident and classic North Metro shit-for-brains Tom Hanson checks back in with his opinion of Joe Mauer's move to first base and a suggested addition to the coaching staff.

Breakfast Links: Nolasco, A.J., Sloan

It's a Friday morning linkdump. Don't get so emotional about it, god. That's so like you, Suzanne.

Area Gypsy Women: Don't Blame Us for This

"Our curses will cause your genitals to wilt and your skin to boil, but this stuff is just cruel."

BREAKFAST LINKS: Byron Buxton Is Good

Pour yourself a cup of coffee. Take a seat. Enjoy.

No Game 7, No Problem, Say Twins Fans

Boston's Game 6 victory gives local baseball enthusiasts an extra 24 hours to be overwhelmed with sadness, befuddlement.

Twins PR Intern's First Job: Sell Bernier-mentum.

He's back, baby! And Twins Territory's got him!

Terry Ryan Gripes to Rainbow Foods Cashier Again

$4 for a pound of hamburger is just not right.

Friday Playoff Game Thread, Night Shift

Unless it's a real important high school football game, you should probably just stay home and watch baseball. It's shitty outside. Come on. Do this instead. It's SO MUCH EASIER.

Friday Playoff Game Thread, Day Shift

Four playoff games in one day. Why are you working?

Shairon Martis Fan Club Not Surprised By Release

Even the 40th player on the 40-man roster has fans. At least for the purposes of this story, which I just made up.

Gardenhire, Staff Will Be Back in 2014

The longtime Twins skipper will sign a 2-year deal.

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