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RandBall's Stu

  • joined Jul 15, 2009
  • last login Jul 26, 2014
  • posts 737
  • comments 453
User Blog

Gibson, Twins Throttle Royals 10-1

13

A Twins starter pitching INTO THE SEVENTH INNING. NOT A MISPRINT.

GameThread
446

Game 10: Royals at Twins

Discuss tonight's game here. You've had all winter to workshop your Lorde/Royals jokes. Make it count.

Mauer Continues Silence on Cattle Mutilations

10

"I'm not saying he's the one doing it, but has he ever denied it, even once? Funny. Draw your own conclusions."

BREAKFAST LINKS: Sinker, Buxton, Blyleven, Blitzen

26

Everyone's so damn sad.

"Small Sample Size" Lifts Twins Fan's Spirits

9

"It's good to have things that are constant, things that don't ever change."

Office Crossfit Guy Solves Twins Problems

26

Will the popular exercise regimen really help the Twins in 2014? One local bro thinks so.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Bartlett, Presley, Neil Young

71

I think you're all very pretty.

Twins Place Vance Worley On Waivers

46

Worley was the team's Opening Day starter in 2013

2014 Minnesota Twins Rain Delay Programming

15

From April blizzards to September monsoons, FSN has you covered.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Hicks, Carroll, The War On Drugs

17

Pancakes, divorce, pancakes

Rep. Pat Garofalo Apologizes for his 2014 Preview

5

This was not unexpected.

Rep. Pat Garofalo Previews the 2014 Twins

5

You've read his thoughts on the NBA. Now read Rep. Garofalo's thoughts on what the season has in store for your Minnesota Twins

BREAKFAST LINKS: EXCLUSIVE GLEN PERKINS INTERVIEW

24

Do not actually try to eat these breakfast links, as they are cyber words and contain no nutritional value, and might kill you. At least that's what we heard about a kid who tried to do that and...

All Twins Throwing Arms Fall Off in Mystery Plague

35

"Yep, that's about right."

BREAKFAST LINKS: Rain, Hicks, Teenage Fanclub

17

I don't think anyone else is out for the season. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. Trust nothing and no one.

Sano Sidelined With Continued Elbow Soreness

51

Ugh. Jesus. I mean, really? CAN'T WE HAVE JUST ONE NICE THING

LUNCH LINKS: Pinto, MLB Network, Trip Shakespeare

6

These usually run in the morning. There was a winter storm. Forgive me.

Twins Officials: We Thought It Would Be Worse

19

Team sources admit they're surprised that the season hasn't gone off the goddamn rails already.

Death Toll from Jeter's Retirement Riot Mounts

17

The aftermath of the battle between "We're going to boo Jeter" and "You can't boo Jeter" forces has overwhelmed Twin Cities hospitals.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Yoon, Jeter, Ted Leo

19

"There are worlds within worlds, Jacqueline, and I don't have the TIME or the PATIENCE to explain them to you. So just let me be clear and brief: Luke and Leia kissing in Star Wars: A New Hope...

Slouching Towards Target Field

7

Baseball Prospectus asked the late poet William Butler Yeats to preview the Minnesota Twins for their 2014 edition. His submission was deemed "weirder than balls" so they had Gleeman write it up...

Metrodome Lashes Out at Twins in Final Interview

16

In an exclusive TwinkieTown interview, the multi-purpose stadium speaks bluntly and profanely about its time with the Twins.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Chen, Albers, Arroyo, Yoon

47

"I have taped and indexed every episode of Mama's Family and placed the video cassettes in this attractive carrying case, Abigail. Do not TELL ME that the VCR is broken and that it's a dead...

Ron Davis: Mets Screw Up, Still Won't Apologize

20

In an interview with the New York Daily News, the former Twin talked about Ike's situation, did not say "I'm sorry, Stu" once. Some typical Ron Davis BULLSHIT.

BREAKFAST LINKS: Mystery Player, Arroyo, Albers

31

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed, Kaitlyn. When I say 'it needs to have scrubbing bubbles,' it needs to have scrubbing bubbles. Dammit."

GET BEHIND ME, ARBITRATION

12

Twins avoid arbitration. Won't even look it in the eye, because that's how it gets you, see.

TC Bear Mauls 8 at Marshall Pizza Ranch

29

"We said 'Never again' after the Great Fergus Falls Massacre of '09. We were wrong."

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