ILNT: Everyone on DRB busts out the Jump to Conclusions Mat.

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If you think P. T. Shoes being a jackass is enough to make me take my ball and go home, you've lost your minds.

However, I will point out that he is a sad, lonely, pathetic excuse for a human being. He lives that way, and he'll die that way. And I'll laugh when he dies. I'll do a dance. I could hit the Powerball tomorrow, and his death would still be the best thing to happen ever. And when he dies, I'll go to his grave with a bottle of Jameson to pour over it. However, first, I'll mix it with Pepsi, and then I'll pass it through my kidneys. Then, despite having given up smoking, I will dig him up and use his skull as an ashtray. We have some disgusting people on this site. We have some abysmal writers on this site (And the worst are both called BW, now that I think about it). However, the most worthless of the bunch...

....well, it's still probably joeybw. But Suttree is close.

Must suck to be SandyKaz. An actual thoughtful post with real numbers and such...and it got bumped to the next day. Why? Because Woodrum and his English degree decided to put out another piece of awful tripe. A POLL? OOH A POLL! CAN WE HAVE A CAPTION CONTEST NEXT? CAN WE? HUH? 

Granted, I don't give half a flip about wOBA and other advanced metrics, but I'm well aware that that is what this site is based on....or was. But that all gets pushed aside because RUSSELL BRANYAN GOT CUT. 

I used to wonder why the Rochester Rebel was just as angry at the world as I am. Now I see why. Good lord.

Failure to pull the trigger on shots and lack of confidence on the ball was again the story of the night as FC Tampa Bay (1-2-2) again failed to create offensive chances as they lost to the Carolina Railhawks (3-1-1) 3-1.

Rookie goalkeeper Jeff Attinella, making his first professional start, showed signed of early-match jitters, letting rebounds loose in the penalty box early on. After a scrum in the six yard box, the shot ended up going just wide, giving FCTB a reprieve.

That reprieve would not last long, however, as Etienne Barbara, the NASL leader in goals, calmed slotted one past Attinella in the 20th minute. Pascal Millien, the 25 year old Haitian International and University of Tampa Graduate, came roaring back moments later to angle a shot to the left corner of the net from outside the box to equalize. This was Millien’s first goal, despite leading the team in goals in pre-season.

On the night, however, the Railhawks looked firmly in control. Forwards Warren Ukah and Mike Ambersley looked hopelessly outmatched throughout the game. Ambersley had a number of breakaway chances but could not outrun his defender, at one point sliding for the ball, only to misjudge the timing and plant his foot in the grass and come up limping. Ukah was out-powered, out-jumped, and out-performed, leading to chants of Aaron King’s name. King, the team’s leading scorer a year ago, was subbed in for Ukah in the 79th minute to cheers.

Carolina took the game by the throat by capitalizing on defensive miscues as Brian Farber scored in the 52nd minute off an assist by Barbara before Barbara hit his league-leading 6th goal in 5 games in the 76th minute to complete his double and finish off the game.

FCTB looks to rebound from this disappointing loss on Wednesday against expansion side FC Edmonton. The game begins at 7 PM.

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This evening, FC Tampa Bay--desperate for some sort of cohesive offense since last year--will send their players on the pitch to face off against last year's league runners up, the Carolina Railhawks. Carolina (2-1-1) will bring with them the NASL Player of the Month for April, Etienne Barbara. Barbara leads the league with four goals in four games, a franchise best start. Carolina will be lead by captain Brad Rusin, already named NASL Player of the Week for Week 2 after their 2-1 win over Montreal. 

FC Tampa Bay (1-1-2) will look to recover from losing their starting goalkeeper Daryl Sattler to a season-ending ACL injury in the 10th minute of last week's tie with the Atlanta Silverbacks. Backup Jeff Attinella, a rookie from the University of South Florida, will make his first professional start. FCTB also picked up a new backup on loan as insurance, rookie goalkeeper Evan Newton, a star player from Old Dominion University.

The bigger question, however, is can FCTB finally find fluidity in their attack. Over four games, the team has scored two goals. With Pascal Millien and Tsuyoshi Yoshitake both fit to play today on the left and right wings, respectively, coach Ricky Hill will be trying to get crosses in from the corners to the heads of Warren Ukah and Aaron King. The accuracy of Yoshitake and the leadership of Takuya Yamada were missing from last week's draw against Atlanta as they were held back after missing a week of practice with visa issues. 

Carolina looks to be settling in for another run to the playoffs. Whether or not Tampa Bay can upset the apple cart and find their finishing touch remains to be seen. The game kicks off at 7 PM tonight at Al Lang Field in St. Petersburg. Coverage and play-by-play is available on 1010 AM. This is the second of three straight home games for FCTB, with the next coming Wednesday against expansion club FC Edmonton before traveling to Ft. Lauderdale next Saturday.

The Tampa Bay Lightning return to the St. Pete Times Forum tonight at 6:30 PM and will attempt to turn the series into an uphill climb for the Washington Capitals. A win tonight puts the Lightning within 60 minutes of a sweep of the favored Caps and earn a much-needed rest while the other series shake themselves out.

Lightning coach Guy Boucher has been playing a series of mind games with the Capitals and coach Bruce Boudreau, indicating his team is capable of much better. The Lightning, however, will have to combat the fatigue of the playoffs, having played every other day (excluding one day off after their 2OT loss against Pittsburgh in Game 4) since the playoffs began.

The Lightning, however, have posted a stunning 97.8% penalty kill in the playoffs. Even without Simon Gagne and Pavel Kubina in Game 2 (both are still listed as day-to-day), the team didn't miss a step. Behind Martin St. Louis and his team-leading five playoff goals, the Bolts will use tonight's game to gain a permanent upper hand in the series.

Daryl Sattler, the anchor of the FC Tampa Bay defense for two seasons, has been ruled out for the remainder of the 2011 season with a torn ACL.

Sattler, the NASL Defensive Player of the Week for Week 3, was involved in a collision with an Atlanta Silverbacks attacker in the 10th minute of Saturday’s game. That collision involved Sattler’s knee rolling onto itself as he hit the ground. Sattler, 30, is in his final year of a two year contract.

Stepping between the posts now will be rookie Jeff Attinella. Attinella, a USF graduate and Clearwater native, was a first-team NCAA All-American in 2009. Stepping into Saturday’s game after Sattler’s injury and making his professional debut, Attinella made three saves an allowed a stoppage time goal at the end of the first half.

Coming into this series, the Washington Capitals powerplay was portrayed as lethal, given enough room to maneuver. The Lightning penalty kill didn't give an inch, and the Caps went 0 for 5 on the powerplay as the Bolts won Game One by a score of 4-2 behind goals by Dominic Moore, Steve Downie, Steven Stamkos, and Sean Bergenheim. 

Bergenheim opened the scoring and extended his three game scoring streak with his team-high fourth goal of the playoffs on the rebound after Downie failed to complete a wraparound. Alexander Semin wasted no time in answering back as he fired in an equalizer from a pass by Marco Strum.

As the second period got underway, Eric Fehr caught the Bolts off-guard off a faceoff and had a clear path to the goal after outskating Nate Thompson to the net.

Downie's night was not over, however, as late in the second, he scored off a backhand chip shot that looped up and over Michal Neuvirth's shoulder as he struggled to recover from a sprawling save.

Steven Stamkos, recovering from a slow start to the playoffs as he struggled to get his footing on the larger stage, scored his third playoff goal on a powerplay after Jason Chimera was called for a roughing penalty.

The third period was a physical, bruising exchange of possession as the Lightning penalty kill stymied the Capitals special teams before Dominic Moore completed the night with an empty-net goal with 40 seconds left.

The Lightning take their 1-0 series lead to Sunday night's Game 2, which will be available on Versus beginning at 7 PM.

The Lightning's offense settled down in time to put themselves in the driver's seat as Steve Downie and Steve Stamkos scored within three and a half minutes of each other to put the Lightning ahead by a goal with twenty minutes remaining.

Steve Downie caught Michal Neuvirth out of position and chipped the puck up and over Neuvirth's shoulder off a backhand while skating backward after Vincent Lecavalier was stopped inches away from the goalmouth. 

Soon after, Jason Chimera was sent to the penalty box for a roughing penalty on Pavel Kubina after sending him into the boards. Steven Stamkos capitalized on the opportunity, using the man advantage as he fired a shot into the back of the net from point-blank range. 

Still being outhit 20-8, the Lightning's offense has settled into their game in the second period, narrowing the shot differential to 23-20. 

Nate Thompson and Matias Ohlund were caught on the wrong foot after a face off, leaving a streaking Eric Fehr a clear path to goal. The Capitals didn't waste the chance, seizing a 2-1 lead halfway through the second period. 

The Lightning had a chance to equalize as the 6th minute when Boyd Gordon was sent to the penalty box for slashing Marc-Andre Bergeron, but could not pull the trigger as Vincent Lecavalier was stopped at point blank range by Michael Neuvirth. 

Roloson had to stand on his head at times as he suffered another barrage of shots, including a sequence that ended with Brett Clark slapping the puck away from an open net as Roloson was left sprawling from a save.

Simon Gagne left the game early in the first after hitting his head on the ice, and will not return tonight. Early indications are he does not have a concussion, but out of an abundance of caution, he will not return to the game. 

Sean Bergenheim opened the scoring early as the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Washington Capitals began the Eastern Conference Semifinals. Bergenheim, on a three game scoring streak, nipped in a goal off a rebound after an attempted wraparound by Steve Downie.

The Capitals, however, would not be down long, and made their only shot on goal to that moment count as Alexander Semin tipped in a pass from Marco Sturm. 

The day has finally arrived. Matthan got what he wanted.

A new CNN investigation revealed earlier this week what most analysts have been saying since the "birther" controversy erupted during the 2008 presidential campaign: Obama was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961.

While the president has made light of the controversy, the question remained political red meat for some of his critics. A recent CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll showed that nearly 75% of Americans believe Obama was definitely or probably born in the United States. More than four in 10 Republicans, however, believe he probably or definitely was not born in America.

The U.S. Constitution says only "natural born" citizens can become president - a vague clause that some members of the birther movement contend disqualifies Obama because, they insist, he was born outside the United States.

Skeptics contend, among other things, that Obama was born in his father's home country of Kenya.

A gusting 25 mph wind, bristling near-freezing temperatures, and a lack of finishing plagued both teams as FC Tampa Bay drew 0-0 with the Montreal Impact. Near misses from Yoshi Yoshitake and Warren Ukah were as close as FCTB could come to drawing blood against Bill Gaudette in the Impact goal. Daryl Sattler recorded his second shutout of the young season.

The midfield’s inability to cohesively attack with the forwards has been troublesome for all three games this season, and looked no closer to being cured, as numerous through balls were easily collected by Gaudette and the Impact defense.

FC Tampa Bay return home to face the Atlanta Silverbacks this Saturday at 7:30 PM at Al Lang Stadium. Atlanta is now 0-0-3 on the year, losing last night to the Ft. Lauderdale Strikers on a stoppage time penalty kick.

Today at 2:30 PM, FC Tampa Bay travels to its first road game of the year ahead of the MLS-bound Montreal Impact. Montreal, in the midst of their traditional slow start, has lost its first two games (one of them against this same FCTB squad) ahead of today's home opener.

Montreal looks to garner its first win of their 18th season as they return to Saputo Stadium, ahead of an expected sellout crowd of 13,000+. Goalie Bill Gaudette looks to steady himself after a shaky opening to the season, allowing a late goal in the first game against Tampa Bay, and allowing two quick goals last week against the Carolina Railhawks.

FC Tampa Bay, suffering from a series of misfires in front of goal last week against the Puerto Rico Islanders, looks to right the ship and form a cohesive attack. Outshooting the Islanders 23-10 but unable to break through for a goal, FCTB gets a boost in the spine of its defense with the season debut of former Minnesota captain Andres Arrango. Arrango, having finished his two game suspension for receiving a red card in the final game of last year's campaign, will look to provide stability in a defensive line that suffered from two critical mistakes last week.

Arrango, however, will be tested at the outset by Montreal forward Ali Gerba. Gerba was largely shut down last week by Carolina and was contained by Tampa Bay two weeks ago, but remains lethal if given a clean look at net.

Today's game at Saputo Stadium begins at 2:30 PM and is available via live video streaming from FC Tampa Bay's website. FCTB's next game will be a return to Al Lang Stadium next Saturday against the Atlanta Silverbacks.

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Goals by Aaron King, Keith Savage, and Omar Jarun completed an undefeated pre-season for FC Tampa Bay against the University of South Florida tonight. The offense, having five weeks of training under their belt, looked closer to clicking on all cylinders than they had at any point this year.

Keith Savage scored at the 23rd minute, the ball bouncing underneath the wall and taking a hop off the grass past goalie Eric Oswald. Strong midfield play was the cause of a domination of possession throughout the rest of the first half.

A scramble in the box in the 62nd minute lead to Savage chipping a ball to teammate King who slotted the ball with a one-timer past the scrambling keeper. The scoring concluded off a cross to the newest defender to the team, Omar Jarun. Jarun, towering over his marking defender, headed the ball into the net.

The solid defending continued, and with the offense looking closer and closer to clicking, next week’s season opener against Montreal ahead will be the biggest test the team has faced under the new regime. Saturday’s game against Montreal at Al Lang Field kicks off at 7 PM. Tickets begin at $10.

Tonight, FC Tampa Bay will finish their pre-season schedule of six games spread across the state over the past five weeks. FCTB will travel to the University of South Florida Soccer Complex to take on USF's spring squad. Prior to the game, a youth soccer clinic will take place for children ages 7-13, with proceeds going to benefit the USF Men's Soccer program.

FCTB enters the final week of pre-season with 19 players under contract after the additions of defender Omar Jarun and forwards Matt Clare and Warren Ukah. The backline, solid throughout the training period, picks up the 6'6" Jarun to supplement at centerback. The Palestinian international showed surprising poise for only training with the team for a few days during Wednesday's rain-shortened game against St. Leo. 

The offense, plagued by an absence of timing and fluidity between the midfield and striker, will attempt to sync themselves before next week's season opener against Montreal. Aaron King and Mike Ambersley will try to time their runs to link up easier, in search of a spark the team lacked throughout last season.

The game begins at 7 PM, tickets are $7. USF Students get in free.

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On a smoldering hot day at the Brandon Area Youth Soccer League Complex, FC Tampa Bay charged forward in their preseason preparation  against Florida Gulf Coast University, winning 2-0 despite the game being played by and large by reserve players and trialists. Newcomer Tsuyoshi Yoshitake looked to open the scoring early in the game and went close three times, each time being denied by fingertip saves.

The game was opened up in the second half as starters Mike Ambersley and Aaron King were substituted in as forwards. Their fluid play and give-and-go style created a number of chances before FGCU's defense was caught out of position with a cross from St. Petersburg native Chad Burt found the head of Frankie Sanfilippo for the opening goal. 

Player/Assistant Coach David Hayes, filling in at leftback for the injured Javed Mohammed and JP Rodrigues, who is still finishing a playoff run for the Milwaukee Wave before arriving with the team, was shown a second yellow card for a misplaced foot in the 86th minute.

Chad Burt's crosses, however, were the story of the day as in the 88th minute, a floating ball landed at the mercy of Aaron King to score his first goal of the pre-season.

FC Tampa Bay looks to go into the home stretch of their pre-season run this Sunday against the University of Central Florida in Orlando before wrapping up with games against St. Leo on March 30th and USF on April 3rd.

After conceding a 69th minute goal, FC Tampa Bay stormed back as trialist Matt Clare capitalized on a misplayed backpass to slot home the equalizier in the 86th minute. The teams traded possession in midfield most of the game with each goalkeeper making a series of pressured saves in the second halves leading up to the goals.

FC Tampa Bay announced a projected roster for tomorrow’s game against BK Hacken, which does not include four trialists who failed to impress during last week’s draw against UT. Shane Hill, Jason Yeisley, Atushi Yoneyama, and Tom Ahmed will not be making the trip with the team.

Also not making the trip to Sunrise will be starting goalkeeper Daryl Sattler, defender Yendry Diaz, and midfielders Jeremy Christie and Keith Savage, all nursing and rehabilitating injuries. Christie is rehabilitating from hip surgery as is expected to miss the first month of the season. The others are expected to be healthy soon, nursing minor injuries.

One other midfielder not making the trip is newly signed Tony McManus, who joined the team this week.

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FC Tampa Bay looks to notch its first win of the pre-season this weekend against Swedish Allsvenskan (First Division) side BK Hacken from Gothenburg. FC Tampa Bay travels to Sunrise tomorrow night to play BK Hacken at the Kics International Sports Complex, home to training facilities enjoyed by, among other teams, the United States Under-20 Team. Led by veteran goalkeeper Christoffer Källqvist, BK Hacken finished 8th in their division last year. They are currently in their own pre-season, spending it in Florida to escape the Swedish winter.

Coming off a 1-1 draw against the University of Tampa last weekend, FC Tampa Bay looks to solidify its midfield that was troubled by lack of match fitness and the sandy terrain at Pepin Stadium. Having only been training together for five days, the team struggled to mount a fluid attack, as the five new signings and multiple trialists attempted to gel with the returning players in the midfield. The bright spot of the initial game was the defensive line, made entirely of new signings and trialists, did not allow a goal in the run of play. Only one defender from last season remains under contract, evidence of the defensive breakdowns that plagued the team last season. The midfield and forwards linked up several times, but were unable to get a shot through to the back of the net until the 81st minute.

BK Hacken, coming off consecutive wins in the last week, are already showing evidence of match fitness and the ability to finish their chances, scoring three goals in both of their games, five of them coming in the second half. This will prove to be the first major test for the newly minted defensive duo of Andres Arrango and Frankie Sanfilippo. Kickoff is at 3:30 PM in Sunrise and a standing-room only crowd is expected.

Super Bowl happened. The non-rapey team won, even with three-quarters of their secondary banged up and jogging the mile and a half back to the locker room.

Also: 1,000 fans or so got denied entry to the game because they bought seats that didn't actually exist. They were going to be "temporary seating" that never got fully installed. So people that bought seats for above and beyond their face value got to watch from a "holding pen" or got three times face value back. With no reimbursement for travel expenses, of course. TBO.com commenters, though....they feel your pain.

Posted by (taxedtoomuch) on 02/06/2011 at 08:22 pm.

Too bad, you bought a ticket from a scalper, the city authorities then decide that the temporary seats will not work. You get three times the face value of the ticket (whenthey could ahve said here is face value) and you want to whine? Sounds like a ldft winger to me. They are right 'go pound sand.'

That seems like a heck of a stretch to me to bring politics into it. But that's just me. I'm a "ldft winger."

Kid with Cerebral Palsy gets thrown into a river and left for dead while Dunkin Donuts employees stand and do nothing. So...what should we do? Blame the kid with cerebral palsy, of course.

If it is so bad here, TAKE HIM BACK TO NEW YORK! We are SICK AND TIRED of all these interlopers coming and whining that things are not perfect for them here. LEAVE, please!

The Tampa Tribute never fails to amaze me. I wonder if Noted and Celebrated Rays Index Blogger Cork Gaines had something to do with the assault that drove this kid from New York to Florida in the first place. Was the kid perchance near a strip club at the time?

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2011/jan/26/261917/a-victim-without-a-crime/news-metro/

ST. PETERSBURG — Police were investigating an early Monday shooting involving at a U.S. Marshal and a St. Petersburg police officer, who were both shot and transported to Bayfront Medical Center. One other officer is inside a home where the shooting took place.

Four shots were heard at 9 a.m., almost an hour after the home at 3734 28th Ave. S was surrounded. The shots were tear gas, police later confirmed.

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"Little Surprise that popular Glock 19 was used in Arizona Shooting"

http://www.tampabay.com/news/article1145393.ece

Glock 19s are light, weighing about as much as a glass of water. They're affordable: around $500. Small enough to slide behind your belt or drop into a purse. Easy to load. Durable enough to fall from a three-story building and still fire. Without the pesky safety found on many handguns to slow you down.

For many owners, the biggest draw is the extended magazine. The standard Glock 19 clip can hold 15 bullets. For $60 more, you can add an 8-inch extension.

And double the ammunition.

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Sternfan and TGN1 were both born on the same day. Today. That's fairly frightening, if you think about it.

Also, the Bucs are not a good team. Beating one team with a winning record (who had pulled their starters) isn't an accomplishment. It just ruins your draft spot.

However, YOUR Tampa Bay Lightning are making a run for a division title with the best player in the league and finally have goaltending prospects that don't make me want to stab myself with a ball point pen. So...yanno...there's that.