According to TSN:

It's a one-year deal with an option

Go A's. Go Chris Schroeder, go kaweahkaweah, go cutthemullet, go Bochte, go Mickey Klutts, go Mickey Tettleton, go Mike Heath, go Billy McMillon (professional hitter), go mikev, go jrbh, go Adam Piatt, go Mario Ramos, go Megadeth, go Velarde/Henderson bodyfat-off, go Tony Armas, go Donnie Hill, go Ellis.

I have no idea what to think of this deal. I hope Billy knows what he's doing.

Here is the link:

http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/news/press_releases/press_release.jsp?ymd=20081119&content_id=3685338&vkey=pr_oak&fext=.jsp&c_id=oak

Yay, this is really exciting. I have no idea who this guy is but I figured I should create a FanPost about it.

I miss Adam Piatt, Mark Kotsay, Donnie Hill, Dwayne Murphy, Mike Heath, Bruce Bochte, Don Sutton, Bill Krueger, Joaquin Andujar, Alfredo Griffin, Ted Knight and Monroe, and Ted Kubiak. JediLeroy rules! Go A's! Small sample!

emil brown is a better player than you guys know. he has really hit in the cluth for us this year. i think it's mean that you attack him. dude is legit. i like saying his name too. emeeeeeeeel. so cool. geren needs to play him more. total rbi machine.

also chavez shouldn't go on the dl. he could be used as a pinch runner. i think he could steal bases like the angles do and then we would win some close games. not a good move by bean. he doesn't need a shoulder to run.

another thing ive noticed lately is that greg smith seems to be dropping his arm when he pitches. i think that contributes to his high era. i played high school ball and my coach suggested i fix that problem and it really worked. maybe he can borrow giombi's gold thong for luck. lol!

the final comment i have is that chris denofia should be moved to right cause he has lost a step do to his age. this would allow rajai to play center more often and he is clearly superior. just check out rajai's vorp. it's so much more vorper than deronfrias vorp. if these changes are made i really think the a's can go all the way this year. go a's and go country joe blantin!

Recently my friend  told me that he remembered going to an A's game in the 90's and getting an autograph from the elephant mascot. We got a good laugh out of that. Then he said, "The mascot's name is Trunk, right?" Again I laughed and informed him that the mascot is named Stomper. Well, he straightened me out. Turns out he actually saved the ticket from the game (that alone amazed me) and the autograph on the ticket tells the true story. Stomper is really Trunk! Check it out. This saddens me. Who else on the A's is lying about his name? By the way, I have no idea if I'm doing this image posting right so go easy on me if I screwed it up.

Please write a note to those morons at Comcast SportsNet Bay Area if you were as pissed off as I was when they cut the A's broadcast for the Sharks game. They didn't even put the A's on an alternate channel. I found the Tigers/Red Sox game on an alternate but no A's game! Rivercats preview, Giants game, Sharks game, Tigers game...SO WEAK!

http://bayarea.comcastsportsnet.com/Contact.jsp

What makes these names great? Some are great because the names are just hilarious. Others aren't funny but I love seeing their names attached to posts. Some aren't even good user names but they are famous at AN. Some names are just so terrible that I've grown to love them. In fact some that have caused a "that is the worst name ever" reaction from me are actually making my HOF. I don't even like some of these people. But this is about the names.

Continue reading this post »

Why do so many people say small sample size? Just say small sample. You don't need "size" in there. When you state that a sample is small, it's clear that you are referring to the size of the sample. It's an extra word that doesn't need to be there.

Go Kotsay!
Go Michael!!
Go Blanton!
Go Ellis!
Go A's!

So listen here, pally. I've been watching these AN signatures for some time now and I think it's about time to tell it to me square before the hammer and saws show. Yeah, see. So light yer Lucky Strike, give the bartender a double sawbuck, Bruno, and spill it. Savvy? Now don't throw an Ing-Bing, just get to yappin'. What's the story behind your signature?

When AN 1.0 became 2.0?
When the SB Nation blog fleet appeared and someone posted a diary asking whether Blez sold out?
When Macha did Nations commercials?
When Diego Chavez asked everyone how to pronounce his last name?
When mcbronsh wrote "what's your f'n problem AN?"
When E-Lo got wasted and hauled ass down the freeway and didn't show up to AN Confessional the next day?
When Jairo Garcia became The Santiago Casilla of Fremont?
When "my $0.02" and "'nuff said" first appeared?
When Blez let other people help him run the site?
When ze diary police were out to get you?
When Charles Thomas came to Oakland and AN was excited about one of the worst Athletics since Billy McMillon and Arthur Rhodes?
When oaktoon/reztips/jrbh/some other rebel left?
When people started asking what to name their babies?
When "FIRE MACHA NOW" became the answer to every poll question?
When Joe Morgan doesn't know shit about Moneyball was a popular argument?
When Ted McGinley guest starred?
When the DLD appeared?
When political commentary dominated the thread about that idiot Tim Hardaway?
When the AN logo changed?
When posternutbag44 appeared and everyone was pissed off because there would never again be a user name as cool as that one?
When butt threads/high socks crew were everywhere?
When Reginald Stephen Shipp Bixby became Reg?
When someone finally refused to drink the Kool Aid?
When Barry Zito started to sing John Mayer and Ben Folds and other horrible music?
When Oakland became the Silicon Valley A's of Fremont?
When Mike Heath was benched for Mickey Tettleton?

It never jumped the shark!

Well, after refreshing my browser countless times to navigate through the very poorly designed oaklandathletics.com ticket sales pages to get some playoff tickets, I was finally able to pick up a couple for (Friday's?) home game #1. I'll be in section 109, row 34 (partially obstructed view of the scoreboard! WEAK!), if anyone wants to visit. Did anyone have better luck?

I apologize if this has been posted already but I'm trying to figure out the likely postseason schedule for the A's before tickets go on sale on Monday. I live in Chico and can't get to games easily.

From what I can tell it looks like (if the A's play the Tigers) the A's will be playing games 3 and 4 at home on 10/6 and 10/7. Is this correct?

Go A's!

You're too damn positive!

Stop being so negative!

This diary is boring!

This diary says everything that needs to be said!

VORP!

BABIP!

Wacky wordplay that isn't funny!

I think my wordplay is wackier than yours!

Cindi threw a chair!

I'm an old school poster!

You're not as old school as me!

Some players are great!

Some should be traded!

Macha did something!

So did Urban, Slusser, and Suchon!

Some people on AN hate each other and take cheap shots!

AN has a school counselor policing the site!

We went from jrbh to reztips to robb to oaktoon to the professor and maryann!

CGV!

I think Billy should make some moves!

I hope the A's win the AL West!

But maybe they won't!

I was watching the game today and, after Scutaro got his third hit, I thought, "light-hitting Marco Scutaro just got his third hit of the day." This was really irritating because "light-hitting" is one of those sports cliches that I hear all the time and it drives me crazy that I thought of it without any prompting.

Sure enough, I look at the AP recap and they call him light-hitting Marco Scutaro. Terrible. Two other cliches that I don't like are "vaunted" offense or pitching staff and that a team is really "high" on some young player. All three of these cliches should be retired right now. Feel free to add more annoying cliches. By the way, I just decided that the worst band name of all time is Sixpence None the Richer. So bad.

Go A's!
Frank Thomas Rules!

Oh man. Too much time went by and I missed my January diary. Well, here is this month's review. I just hope Blez doesn't demote me to the back page for this one. By the way, I want to give some credit to Don Knotts who recently passed away. Talk about a television legend. Fife was OK, but Mr. Ralph Furley (or RF, as comedy legend John Ritter called him) was unreal. RIP Don Knotts.

On to the nominees!

My first nominee is Yankee Stadium here I come by johnspaz7. First of all, I like this guy's name because spaz is part of it. I also think it rules that he's apparently the 7th johnspaz on this site. But aside from all that, this diary has no mention of Cindi and none of that <throws chair> or <hurts kenny williams> or any of that other nonsense. johnspaz7 is also great because he said that Fenway is the most overrated stadium ever. That line alone is worth a nomination. I'm rooting for you, johnspaz7. I hope you and your dad have a great time at Yankee Stadium.

Next up is Why do we hate the Giants? by dbeach13. This title is great. I chose to ignore the first three words and zeroed in on "hate the Giants." I almost died laughing when I saw a post on there by a guy named "joses bathroom buddy." With apologies to xbhaskarx, that is the most unusual id of all time. Also, Dan's attack on San Francisco in that diary is legendary. He should get a special award just for that post. As Reginald Stephen Shipp Bixby would say, "BRAVO!"

Let's give a hand to WWMD--- What Will Macha Do by theblackpearl for being nominee #3. The title is solid and FireMacha (who is so passionate about hating Macha that his username is devoted to such a special cause) responded to this question with "Die, I hope." Unfortunately, this diary didn't get much attention, but our old friend PosterNutbag44 did make an appearance.

I am baffled by this next one. It's called Peanutball, by Stomper. Chapter 1: The offseason by FreeSeatUpgrade. This diary is amazing. I'm not sure why.

Here's one for ya: Santiago or Jairo? by 15andLovinIt28. This IS an important question.  

The last nominee was suggested by one of my favorite ANers, cutthemullet. It's called Fantasy Keeper League Forming by Green Lantern. CTM nominates this one "by virtue of no comments and off topic and the fact that he made it really hard to join, you have to e-mail him, and the fact that it's not all AN, and the fact we've never heard of this guy so why should we join his league...the list goes on."

And the winner is Yankee Stadium here I come by johnspaz7. I expect a full review of the stadium when you return. See youse guys next month.

Merry new year and let's take a look at the best diaries of last month.

Here's one I dig. It's called Has anyone seen MLB's new Splatterhouse caps? by the great Haren4Prez. That has to be the worst cap of all time. OK, worst next to those split A's/Giants hats. As H4P says, it looks like a bird splattered all over it. What makes me happy is that the bird did his thing to the Red Sox (my most hated team) hat.

The next nominee is Happy Holiday's from Paul DePodesta. This one is cool because, well...actually it's not cool at all. But I like how the posters got so angry and a banning is always entertaining. I also like that he wrote holiday's instead of holidays. My cognitive red pen got excited by that.

Another gem is What are those stairs for in the outfield? by BashBrother89. This is an important question and I'm glad we have the answer now. Merry new year to BashBrother89.

Station to Station: Boca-Boca we Hardly Knew Ya! is another good one. Hiram Bocachica is one of the top names in baseball and I miss him a lot. I think of Beavis when I hear the name Bocachica. I like saint's diaries, too.

Happy Birthday Joe Blanton!! by BobbyCrosbysGirl rules. I think Joe Blanton is the greatest. My friend's new baby looks like Joe Blanton. I think he isn't pleased when I mention that. My favorite Joe Blanton story of the year is when he jumped off the mound to field a ball and the announcer commented on his "cat-like reflexes." Go Joe Blanton. I like how BobbyCrosbysGirl is on top of all the birthdays.

Here's a good one: I Love My Boss by ConcordFanSince1968. Who has a boss like this? But if you've really been a fan since 1968, then you deserve some good fortune, my friend.

singing vs. pitching by oakland75 is classic. Why must Barry Zito sing? I'm sure his girlfriends love it. Do we need to hear it, too? Ben Folds! Jack Johnson! Dave Matthews! WOW! I can't stand his taste in music. My shirts are SO WEIRD!!!

mcbronsh wrote What's your f'n problem AN. The title alone earns a nomination. I thought I was grumpy. I got some good laughs when I read this one.

And the winner is Happy Birthday Joe Blanton!! Why? Because I said so. Thank you BobbyCrosbysGirl for this wonderful post. I'll see you guys next month. Please post comments this time. My last diary of the month post got only one response and I was really grumpy. Thanks to Apricot for helping me with the html.

Yes, I'm back and ready to review the best diaries of the previous month. I have no idea how to put links in here, so we'll just go with the names. Oh, Apricot just helped me. Thank you. Let's take a look at our nominees.

#1: I don't like political advertising on AN by mcbronsh. This diary sparked a great debate. It had nothing to do with baseball, and I kinda like that. My favorite post on this diary is from PosterNutbag44. His username is classic, too.

#2: Blez for Prez by Reg. OK, so I'm biased. This was a nonsense post but I was entertained by it. My favorite post on this diary is Regz sez: "Yez, Blez 4 Prez" by kaweahkaweah. That guy rules.

#3: The Legend of Benny 'The Jet' Winslow by Hollywood Oz. This diary is great. The Benny story is classic. Why identify a favorite post on this thread? It's perfect on its own.

#4: An enemy in my home Coliseum by princemilo. The prince handled himself well at the game and I liked his story. BobbyCrosbysGirl had a nice post. She even wrote the words "mad respect," which makes her the best poster on the thread.

#5: GWRBI, Where did you go? by RunRickeyRun. I like this statistic. I'm sure some nerds will tell me that it has a low degree of criterion-related validity (for predicting something...)  and that their factor analytic research indicated that GWRBI failed to load on whatever latent variable they measured in SAS or LISREL. Save the Eigenvalue lecture and let me say that it's fun and I like it. Best post on this diary is by Uncle Charlie.

#6 i met Phillip Hughes today by saarloos crew. OK, you have to be a huge baseball fan to identify this guy. Very impressive. I just love this diary. Best post is from Cutthemullet.

And the winner is...The Legend of Benny 'The Jet' Winslow by Hollywood Oz. This diary is smoother than Mike Damone and his 5 point plan. Go Hollywood Oz!

Something of Substance:

Wow. I can't believe that anyone would criticize Blez. Blez rules. He is the most easy going guy ever. He puts up with all kinds of complaining from nerds on this site and keeps making it better and better. Even I, perhaps the grumpiest poster on AN, can't think of one bad thing to say about Blez. Attacking Blez is about as weak as using viz., FWIW, IMHO, VORP, my .02, gawdawful, or 'nuff said in your comments. Go Blez! Blez for Prez!

I rarely post a diary but I thought it was time for me to put something up for the people (like me, and probably only me) who are fed up with the comments and diaries I see here. Most of you will hate this diary, but if we have endless posts about robb, Diego Chavez, butts, poor grammar, semicolons, Daily Link Dump, FWIW, my .02, wacky rhymes and plays on words, FIRE MACHA NOW, there's no such thing as clutch hitting, Joe Morgan sucks, Craig Wilson, sign Konerko, ad hominem personal attacks, and it's a crapshoot, then there is certainly room for this one.  

My nominee for best diary of the month is "I met and talked baseball with Mike Neu" by HandsomeRuss (which is also a great user name). This is a classic. The story is interesting and we get to hear about Mike Neu, which is a name I didn't think I'd hear again for years. Since I will also be one of the few to agree with anything in this post, I will declare this the winner! Great job, HandsomeRuss!

Who's going to the games vs. the Chico Outlaws? I'm planning to go Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. If any AN people are going, let me know. Would be fun to meet some of the AN faithful in Chico.

Go A’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pretty much hate every team except for the A's and the Blue Jays. Which other teams do you like? By the way, speaking of the Jays: Gustavo G. Adolfo Chacin has the best name and image ever. I wish he played for the A's. His nickname should be Psycho Chacin. He looks CRAZEEE. I would post a favorite NL team here, too, but there aren't any that I like.  

1. Small sample size
   
2. Ze diary police
   
3. Blind optimism
   
4. ...all this negativity...
   
5. Marco!
   
6. VORP
   
7. Vis
   
8. Ermmmm or Ummmmm (followed by some sarcastic comment)
   
9. Arghhh!
   
10. Booby
    
11. Godawful (or Gawdawful)
    
12. C'mon guys, it's early in the season!
    
13. For your information, I DID read Moneyball...

Here comes the new year. Enough with the VORPing. Let's make some predictions. How competitive will the A's be?

How much is he worth? What offer should the A's give him? Should he be given an offer at all?