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Rhubarb

  • joined Jul 31, 2009
  • last login Jul 24, 2014
  • posts 64
  • comments 30977

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Chicago White Sox
  • NBA Chicago Bulls
  • NFL Chicago Bears
  • NCAAB Illinois Fighting Illini
  • NHL Chicago Blackhawks
  • Cycling Armstrong
  • General Wasted Talent
User Blog
FanPost
835

RRRR: A Paltripolitan's Palimpsest

HSA has been backpacking in the Qinling mountain range, trying to find her spiritual self.  I received a battered postcard from her with this image on it.    The message read, "Rhubarb, please make...

FanPost
515

RRRR: Everlasting Rigamorale

    Its 2032 and a post liver transplant KW wheels himself out to the podium to once again discuss a controversial managerial hire. "Let's keep this short people, I don't have all day."   "...

FanPost
21

The Dave Martinez Files

Hey guys.  I come from far away, from a very sad place.  Its inhabitants call it SSS but it is known on the interwebs as SouthSideSox.  I am a White Sox fan, you see, and we obviously hit rock...

FanPost
33

2011: A Stream of UnConsciousness Recap

   I can't fucking wait for the season to start, this is gonna be the best year eva!  Look who we gots in our lineups, this is gonna be awesome, YES! look at that lineup, Dunn is gonna be great,...

FanPost
22

The Ninth Life of the Damned

An orange cat sits piously on its owner’s lap slathering its saliva upon its owner’s clothing, for some reason the bitch kept cleansing its territorial pissings off her clothes once a week.  The...

FanPost
572

RRRR: The Medium is the Massage

   In this tumultuous world of excess, diminshed attention spans and the over-abundance of information to pour over and obsess, I've realized that years, if not months, if not weeks, if not days,...

FanPost
45

Rantoul is a Hellhole

      It could be any year since Jesus fucking Christ…but after the industrial revolution…yet it just so happens, it could be 2011 A.D and that is what it is.  What a fucking futuristic year,...

Trading in August - Waiver Rules

2

Since there is always confusion from some people about how this works...here is your primer.

FanPost
16

The Tunnel at the End of the Light

   A lean figure shuffles through the yard of an abandoned home in a late summer Chicago midnight.  He pries open a manhole cover with ease and descends away from the artificial lights of the city...

FanPost
278

SSS Meme Glossary - (Lilli)bridged Version

By the request of ShoeIess in SC, I present for everyone's criticism, debate, education and pleasure; the abridged version of The SSS Meme Glossary. I haven't been here as long as most of you...

FanPost
50

RIFFF - Winner Announced

   The number of entries to my contest was a tad disappointing.  I felt like an English professor, with the amount of excuses I received just prior to the deadline.  I thought the prize alone...

FanPost

RRRR: Never the Twain Shall Meet

  Rudyard Kipling said, "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet." What Kipling meant was 'two things that are so different have no chance to ever unite.'  This...

FanPost
141

Rhubarb's Inaugural Fan Fiction Fray

This fan murdering team has sapped me of my creative juices.  At times, I feel like I am dumber than I was after a game is over. I have probably missed 4 games this year, so I'm growing fairly...

FanPost
18

Days of our All my Kids

   "Is he going to make it doc?"   "It is a rare day when a patient passes a kidney stone while I am operating on his appendix.  I thought I made it perfectly clear that he not drink fluids 12...

FanPost
58

A Bridge to Somewhere

     picture by Southsideexpat Hey brohans, its your broseph Bro DiBroggio.  I have to brolate a story to you that happened to me yesterday.  After a legalization of marijuana rally in the...

FanPost
28

Two Thieves: The Future & The Past

      In a hotel room in the Rogers Centre sits a shadowy figure drinking Crown in a whicker chair.  On the floor lies a dead hooker wearing nothing but a White Sox jersey.  The décor of the room,...

FanPost
35

Stockyards

There is a mandatory stillness in the oppressive dusk.  The mockingbirds will not cease blame of the defenseless innocent, they possess the void...standing atop their ashy mountains they sip the...

FanPost
10

Der Twain Urn Hull - Der Furnal Chirpter

        A beardless and emasculated Gardenhire finds himself in a strange 2-dimensional landscape.  It is hazy yet bright but there is no sun, the sky looks like a ceiling you can lose a flyball...

FanPost
16

This is Your Life

Next Monday the Sox venture into the vast and mythical land where the illusive polyester-clad OPOS roams in its white orthopedic clogs; projecting financial fraud, usury and tax evasion, every...

FanPost
49

About: Time

   Somewhere in U.S. airspace between Winston-Salem and Cleveland, Kenny Williams, GM of the Chicago White Sox, is giving his team a peptalk for the upcoming 2011 season.  His talk does not fall on...

FanPost
52

In Our Dreams

 "Sit down...No not there, that's the chair Ted Dibiase used on Brutus Beefcake in Wrestlemania IV…its priceless.  I would never forgive you if you broke it.  I still can't forgive you for...

FanPost
47

Carmelized Hispanic Anyone?

  Most people know him as Oswaldo José Guillén Barrios but he prefers to be called, "Shut the fuck up I am talking," as evidenced by his speech at Friday night’s Roast.  Throughout the course of...

Big Hair & Plastic Grass - A Funky Ride Through Baseball in the 1970's

12

This is a nice facebook page for which to like. Today is applicable due to its Bill Veeck information.

FanPost
275

Lee Tells Yanks to go Dangle

    In a move that is not unprecedented (see Maddux TY WU), Cliff Lee (a scholar and a gentleman) has told the Yankees and their insufferable fan-base that they can take their money and stick it...

FanPost
92

Twas' the night before Winter meetings

  'Twas the night before Winter meetings, when all through the intertubesNot a SSS’er was stirring, not even the newbs;A white stocking was hung by his big hairy balls with care,In hopes that P...

FanPost
66

A Poll for a Poll and a Tooth for a Tooth

  Cheat seems like a busy guy.  Why don't we help him out a bit for fucksake?  Please choose one of the below questions but feel free to offer up your own ideas as well in the comment section,...

FanPost
25

Der Twain Urn Purgaturry

  This scene occurs in Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.  It smells of stagnate, uneducated yokel.  Irv burn wurkin on der railrerd all dere lerve...

FanPost
208

The 2010 Honorary Andy Gonzalez Designated-Hitler Award

At the behest of thatshortkid, this is an official SSS award for the most fanmurderingist organizational employee of the year.  The nominees are far too many for an 88 win team but we're from...

FanPost
46

Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

  The sun creeps through the window pane late in October and the Senior Citizen Jew in the High Castle counts his pennies and lays his plans for the hopes, dreams and expectations of his...

FanPost
47

Teh Epitome of Horrible Flavor

An antiquated rustbelt factory, now an enormous rabbit hutch, looms over a makeshift tent co-op, with lean-to’s as far as the eye can see.  Murderous screams emit from within on consistent...

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