Internet wrestling community legend Raven Mack raises goats, drinks beers, and makes babies. Once upon a time he also wrote about wrestling. This is a 12 Beer Review. 12 Days, 12 Beers. Not for the faint of heart. If you click more you will experience depravity, cursing, and political incorrectness. You have been warned.

Beer 1 follows the break:

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Everything from Vince dancing, strutting and other McMahon insanity. Enjoy.

We all know that Mr. Vincent K. McMahon has had his moments in the past, and while trying to hold a sweepstakes, proves that not even he was immune to the art of the Rick Roll. I think Vince didn't understand the art of the ringback tone, but such a public Rick Rolling will go down in internet meme history!

Vadim and Fedor

After sitting through a rather excruciating call today where Fedor, or should I say, Fedor's manager, Vadim Finkelstein and Jerry Millen fielded questions about what Fedor Emelianenko is up to while in the United States. Bloody Elbow's updates seem to sum up exactly how much of a waste of time this was;

Update 6: Josh Gross asks why Fedor can't do the same deal GSP, Anderson Silva, and every other big fighter signs? Evasive answer. Why is co-promotion so important? Answer: M-1 is very big, we develop MMA all over the world. This is all talking points about M-1 at this point. It sounds like UFC came forward with a big offer, and now M-1 offered something back very different involving co-promotion. Amusingly, they say M-1's goal is to make MMA really popular all over the world.

Update 7: Beau Dure at USA Today asks what co-promotion really means? Evasive answer. Personal guess: it rhymes with scribe. Now they're going on at length about all the shows they are going to promote. They are just ignoring questions at this point and just talking about whatever they want. They say negotiations were productive, but they will only work on a co-promotion basis. Someone asks if he's leaning toward Strikeforce, and the answer is just that Strikeforce is one of their possible partners.

Update 8: Someone asks about Aleksander's quote about Vadim, they blow it off. Nothing is happening on this call, no announcement, it's just a PR stunt.

I think this can be summed up like such; Vadim and his Russian mafia cohorts are holding the greatest pound for pound fighter in the world hostage to further their own agenda. Never for a minute should anybody believe that M-1 is interested in the betterment of Mixed Martial Arts or what actually happens to Fedor. Fedor is simply the tool in which a bunch of insignificant men can make money and be famous.

Sumo wrestling doesn't get much coverage in America anymore, a long drop from when NBC sports used to show one or two Grand Sumo final days a year on slow sports weekends. But it's still out there, as it has been for centuries. And with only six yearly Grand Sumo tournaments (3 in Tokyo, one in Fukuoka, one in Osaka, and one in Nagoya, every July, as is going on right now), there's plenty of time for sumo fetishists to over-analyze every piece of minutiae. But the face of the sport's really changed in recent years, with the only two active yokozuna (sumo's highest rank - sumo is a twisted Illuminati-style sport with different ranks that a panel of elders appoints you to) both being non-Japanese - Asashoryu and Hakuho, both Mongolians. To understand the shock of this to Sumo fetishists (who are highly intelligent and wildly delusional, similar to American baseball aficionados), it was the most terrible thing ever in the history of Sumo when a Hawaiian named Akebono got promoted to yokozuna in 1993, being the first non-Jap to get the title.

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If Cain Valasquez is able to overcome Shane Carwin and face Brock Lesnar, one can only imagine the scene will play out a bit like this.

Somehow I don't picture Blackjack Mulligan or the Warlord engaging in an internet battle of words. But effeminate wrestlers Chris Jericho and the Miz took their in ring feud to the internet randomly began an online diss off on Twitter. There's no indication this will lead anywhere or that the two will begin feuding on WWE television anytime soon. It is an interesting way for the WWE to bring back some of the edge to their promotion and get people talking about an otherwise forgettable program. I wonder who has to explain to Vince what a tweet is?

The battle begins after the jump.

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Vince McMahon has a rich history of downright insanity (which borders on absolute entertainment) and the best way to express this is through one of his most genius moments ever; the staging of his own death on national television. Many people knew it was an angle, but WWE stockholders went into a panic the following day over the possible death of the Chairman of a public company.

Ripped out of a David Lynch film, watch the surreal scene as Vince walks to his doom, his employees silently watching as he is dead man walking. Watch as the two employees by the door smoking, laughing, lone witnesses that seem in on the joke that Vince still hasn't gotten yet.