[An overpass is suddenly illuminated with red and purple lights. Parkour enthusiasts rock their shit across the nightscape. A giant Dr. Pepper truck pulls up and Pit Bull starts changing lives.]

via staging.templetv.net

"Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a real good time. Let's have a--"

RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[The sound of a needle tearing across vinyl. A giant tiger with...dilated pupils appears. He seems excited.]

via cdn2.sbnation.com

"HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY GUYS..."

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This was a thread several years ago on EDSBS, and I propose it now as a way to heal latent Hate Week-related wounds.

Everybody has them...those nagging, annoying, embarrassing thoughts that flit through your head, unbidden and unwelcome. You try to deny them, but they're there. We all have at least one thing about a rival that we envy/appreciate/enjoy/admire. It's terrible. But that's life. We also have things about our own team that drive us nuts and that we would like to see disappear.

Orson himself has admitted that he likes Georgia's colors. No one is above the admission. I think now, as we move toward the season of goodwill and brotherhood, is the right time to air these shameful bridgebuilding thoughts, or to admit the things we dislike about our own teams to support the cause of TROOF in this lying world.

I mean God damn, even World War I had a Christmas Truce. via 4.bp.blogspot.com

I'll get the ball rolling.

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Steve Jobs resigned today as maharaja of Apple, Inc., the company which recently passed Exxon Mobil as the most valuable company in the world. He will be replaced by Tim Cook, most recently Apple's COO, holder of an MBA from Duke and a B.S. in Industrial Injun Enjinn Engineering, Auburn University, 1982.

The repercussions of this earthshaking advance for humanity will be profound throughout the American economy.

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FELLOW AMERICANS AND COMMENTARIAT PATRIOTS (commentapatriots?):

As we all drink ourselves into a flag-waving fervor this weekend, it is of course our duty to remember the innumerable badasses who have protected our right to do so through the years. I have worked hard in my life, and my work has allowed me to buy beer, sunscreen and red meat to enjoy myself to the fullest this weekend. However, the exploits of some of these people serve as a reminder that I have not worked hard, I have not suffered, and I do not know what it truly means to earn and protect freedom.

SO, in tribute, let's commemorate the exploits of the truly ridiculous heroes in our past. 

via ironicman.files.wordpress.com

I've already mentioned Ted Williams in the comments as a guy who left his job, in the prime of his career, TWICE, to serve as a pilot in wartime. (His service, and the timing of it, in my mind renders all nitpicking baseball stat arguments completely moot.) Of course, there is Pat Tillman to remember. Audie Murphy, Millet, etc. Let's hear about them all.

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