SB Nation User Blog: Ross

Creative Writing: July 1, the Day that Changed Everything

Ross — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:07:54 -0000

(Please forgive this morning writing foolishness if it is not your cup of tea, or your cup of Old Style. Go Cubs).

From the World Book of History of the early 21st Century.

Looking back, it was the day that changed the world as we knew it.

It was July 1, 2009. It was Canada Day, but the happy-go-lucky celebrations sweeping across the Great White North held no sway in hardscrabble Pittsburgh, where the Chicago Cubs were playing the hometown Pirates. The favored Cubs were scrambling like a badger thrown in a pool, just trying to keep their heads above water. The Pirates had long since given up that challenge, choosing instead to sink, rock-like, towards the bottom of the standings.

There were many reasons for the Cubs troubles - age, attitude, ineptitude, a lack of appreciation for the misunderstood genius and talent of Aaron Miles - but many among the hard-core fans thought that there was just one thing that was needed to solve the problem. Manager Lou Piniella needed to have a tantrum.

The hue and cry had been tremendous. Lou isn't showing enough fire. Lou needs to get thrown out of a game. It had worked in 2007: he screamed like a child who had been told that he wasn't getting a candy and like magic, the Cubs found their feet, rocketing to the top of the division before being unceremoniously dumped back into reality by a bunch of snowbirds in Arizona in the playoffs. There were some who argued that a tantrum and ejection would do nothing to change the Cubs fortunes, but the "real" fans knew that a tantrum was just what would be needed. It would make a difference. It would solve everything.

They didn't know how right they were.

And by now, you know the history. The Cubs tenuously holding on to a lead in the later innings. Runners in scoring position. A rookie pitcher named Randy Wells at the plate, who had been turned from a catcher into a pitcher because of an inability to make bat contact ball. The ball slapped back to the mound. The Pirates' pitcher, a man whose name is lost to time and legend, fumbles the ball and throws late to first. Wells was safe, but the umpire, known historically by the nickname "Voldemort," ruled him out. No run scored. Once again, the Cubs denied.

There was a buzzing across the stadium, a rumble, like that split second before an earthquake or an explosion, where the subconscious minds of all those in attendance freeze for a moment in fear and anticipation of what they know is to come, what they know they cannot stop. Lou Piniella strode from the dugout like an angry panda bear. Each step moved him, and the world, closer to fate.

The argument, the famous hat throw, have been so ingrained into polite society through repeated viewings that there is no need to rehash the particulars here.

And when it was over, the fans in Pittsburgh, the television audience across the world, knew that they had seen a transformitive moment in history.

And of course, the tantrum was just what the Cubs needed. The slumbering bats came alive, the pitchers regained their collective confidence and the Cubs did begin to win, and would go on to win the World Series that year. But that accomplishment was dwarfed by the magnitude of other events caused, both directly and indirectly, by the actions of the day. To document them all would take 100 pages, but here are the most significant.

The Israelis and Palestinians, seeing the essence of futility of their battle captured perfectly in the tantrum, finding common ground and agreeing to peace.
A scientist, distracted by the tantrum during the midst of a critical experiment, discovered the basics of a cold fusion generator solving the world's energy issues.
Then-Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley, witnessing the event, has an epiphany and renounces all forms of violence and takes a vow of silence. He goes on to become the first man to hit .400, and later became commissioner of baseball.
"Director/Producer" Michael Bay, seeing that all his cinematic efforts paled in comparison to the angst captured in the tantrum, leaves Hollywood and enters a Buddhist monastery. The world is spared from a dozen planned Transformers sequels.
The alien race, the Squq8qst, who were planning to commence an invasion of our Earth with an ultimate goal of stealing the planet's supply of horseradish, immediately gave up on their plans of conquest and immediately surrendered without a shot being fired.
In the next two years, Piniella becomes one of the most popular names for children, both boys and girls. Over 240,000 children. Tragically, over half are spelled incorrectly by parents who don't realize that Piniella has two "I"s.
The Piniella-inspired two-day growth of beard look becomes the newest fashion statement. This results in a economic boom in the electric razor/clipper industry. The rally buoys the stock market to levels that allow the US economy to flourish for over two decades, until the unfortunate "St. Louis Incident".
Ronnie "Woo-Woo" Wickers, an obnoxious alleged Cubs "fan" who made a living by being famous for making a sound akin to an air raid siren, is in fact identified as being James J. Bulger, a Boston-based mafioso and a Red Sox fan who had been on the FBI's 10-most-wanted list since the 1980's. His siren-like wail was all part of a master plan to get people to not notice his true identity.

Why Gerald Perry Must be the Fall Guy

Ross — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:37:53 -0000

Several years ago I had the opportunity to talk to Jeff Pentland, the former Cubs hitting coach. He had been lauded for helping to change some of the Cubs approaches at the plate, getting them to work the count more, etc. Yet just a short time later he was gone, fired. I asked him what the difference had been, and he simply said that the players just stopped listening. He said that they still tried the approaches he recommended, but they just didn't execute as well.

The Cubs can't fire 25 players, but they still need a shock to the system. They need a new approach at the plate, a refined focus and a different attitude. And, unfortunately, the best shock to the system is to let Gerald Perry go and bring Von Joshua up. Joshua already has a working relationship with several players - like Theriot - which leads me to believe that Perry has lost some credibility with the team. At a minimum, the guilt felt by the players at the demise of a trusted coach might be enough to shake things up.

Just my two cents.

Saturday night SD Observations

Ross — Mon, 25 May 2009 00:22:44 -0000

Some observations from the stands...

Scales took about 60 grounders at 3b before the game. He was really working hard down there.

Wells pitched outstandingly well. He certainly doesn't have the best stuff on the staff, but he may have the potential to be the best pitcher.. He really pitched well, though the runs scored on mistakes/problems that he brought on himself. If he can get over letting the one or two big mistakes hurt him, he could go a long way. His fastball was consistantly in the 90's and the scoreboard had his slider in the high 80's...

Padres fans can still be obnoxious, and those that overdid the 1984 mentions shut up quickly when asked how they did in the WS...

DeJesus coached 1b for Sinatro (I don't know if it was for the whole game, or just a portion of it...

Bradley was uppercutting the ball in BP. He hit some bombs, but he was really getting underneath the ball...

It was probably a 60-40 ratio of Padres to Cubs fans... The park was not even close to sold out... pretty sad that they could not fill up the building on a holiday weekend in recognition of their greatest "triumph".

Only about a dozen or so of the team was there, and some notable names were missing. Gwynn was busy coaching, no Gossage, no Carmelo Martinez or Graig Nettles. (Wiggins and Show, of course, are both deceased).

All in all, the team just looked listless. The only one who seemed to have any energy out there was Hoffpauir. I know they can't be rah-rah every day, but they all just looked anemic.

My shots from San Diego

Ross — Sun, 24 May 2009 16:21:11 -0000

My shots from San Diego

In celebration of my dad coming to visit, I splurged on some dugout seats for Saturday's game. Here are the photos from warmups, and a few more from throughout the game.

Brooks Kieschnick has some ill will and some regrets

Ross — Fri, 22 May 2009 03:28:19 -0000

Brooks Kieschnick has some ill will and some regrets

Found this interesting interview with Brooks Kieschnick, including the quote...

"You know, honestly, I knew my career was in trouble the minute the Cubs drafted me. (laughs)"

I am sure Brewers fans are giggling themselves silly over that line.

Bobby Scales on NPR's All Things Considered

Ross — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:00:31 -0000

Bobby Scales on NPR's All Things Considered

Another story about Dr. Feelgood, Bobby Scales.

The Rich Harden 12-step Program - by Dino Scoppettone

Ross — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:06:55 -0000

A little sarcastic humor for the eve of the baseball season. But first a little background:

For 17 years, I have been part of a group of college friends who have been playing in a computer baseball management sim league. Our league currently uses Diamond Mind Baseball to sim the games, but we have also used Strat-o-matic and Earl Weaver Baseball over the years.

Our commissioner was a guy named Dino Scoppettone. Dino was one of the most gifted writers I have ever known. He could also be one of the bitterest men when it came to complaining about his team, and at times, life in general. But he was loved, and was frequently the life of the party.

Shortly after our draft for League 17 last spring, held in the final week of Spring Training, Dino found himself frustrated by the fact that one of his pitchers, Rich Harden, was following a familiar path onto the DL. Fueled by this angst, among other things, he crafted the e-mail below.

About a month later, Dino was diagnosed with a liposarcoma (which he would refer to ironically as cancer of the fat). It did not respond to treatment and Dino passed away in late August of last year at the age of 39.

I share this e-mail with you because I think it is funny - please forgive me if it isn't your cup of tea. I think it will echo with almost every baseball fan in some way or another. I share it in faint hopes that maybe this will be the year that Harden doesn't follow this path. And I share it because I miss my friend, Dino.

Here's to you, buddy. (Anyone who wants to read more about Dino, visit his memorial Web site http://dinosjourney.com/)

The Rich Harden 12-step Program - Dino Scoppettone

Many of you are at least familiar with the infamous "12-step program" undertaken by rehabbing drug and alcohol addicts. However, what you may not know is
that Rich Harden has his own 12-step program.

For those of you unfamiliar with the process, I thought I'd provide a kindly refresher for the annual step-by-step process through which Harden goes from fully-functioning healthy stud in March to worthless sack of sh** by May and beyond. Small variances of this process played out in 2006 and 2007, and the 2008
process has already begun.

Step 1: Harden makes 2-4 starts, showing outstanding stuff and generally making hitters look foolish (2008: achieved)
Step 2: Harden complains of some sort of minor pain, start is pushed back so he can get some "extra rest" (2008: achieved)
Step 3: Harden misses his pushed-back start because he still "doesn't feel quite right"; talk of trip to DL begins (2008: achieved)
Step 4: Harden goes on DL as a "precautionary measure," assures everyone that it's not a major injury and he'll be ready to go in 14 days. (2008: still to come)
Step 5: 14 days comes and goes, Harden still not ready, says that he's frustrated but "I just need to let myself heal"
Step 6: One month after going on DL, Harden is re-activated. Makes scheduled start with middling results.
Step 7: Harden is given extra rest before his next start. Insists that he is not "injury-prone" because this injury has nothing to do with the injury from last year (or the year before).
Step 8: Harden makes next start, is pulled in second inning as injury is exacerbated.
Step 9: Harden is immediately placed on DL again, with no timetable given for his return, other than he'll "likely be activated after the All-Star Break."
Step 10: All-Star Break comes and goes, still no Harden. Team doctors say Harden "is not responding to the treatment the way we'd like."
Step 11: By mid-August, discussions have begun about shutting him down for the season, although Harden insists he can heal and still get out there and help
the team for the stretch run.
Step 12: By late August, the final decision is made to shut him down, as the A's are out of the race, and Harden needs as much time to get healthy for next year as possible.

The 13th step is, of course, that the whole ridiculous process will just repeat itself again next year.

Now taking bets as to when Step 4 will be achieved...

-El Bittre

(For the record, step four was reached later in that same day, April 10, 2008, as Harden went on the DL).

Stand up, stretch and sing Happy Birthday

Ross — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:00:27 -0000

Today is the 130th birthday of Jack Norworth.You've probably never heard of him.

The man never played a game, maybe never ever saw a game, but he has had as indelible in impact on the game of baseball today as almost anyone.

Still don't know who he is? Here's the explanation from Garrison Keillor's Writer's Almanac.

http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/

And it's the birthday of Jack Norworth, (books by this author) born in Philadelphia in 1879. Jack Norworth had never been to a baseball game, but one day in 1908, he was riding the subway and he saw a sign that said "Baseball Today — Polo Grounds," and he started thinking of baseball lyrics. He wrote them down on a piece of scratch paper, and then took them to the composer Albert Von Tilzer, another man who had never seen a baseball game, who went ahead and wrote the music. And the song became very famous: "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

Norworth also wrote "Shine on Harvest Moon". But TMOTTBG was his biggest hit, one of the top songs of 1908. Legend has it that it is the third most-often-played song in the country, after the National Anthem and Happy Birthday.

So here's to you, Mr. Norworth. Baseball wouldn't have been quite as fun without you.

All That Way for This - a 2008 Retrospective

Ross — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:48:58 -0000

All That Way for This - a 2008 Retrospective

Over the last year or so, a few people have asked about the sig line I adopted after last year's playoffs. With '08 in the books, it still seems apropos. So as the Cubs sank slowly in the west, I put together this video. It's not a slam, nor is it a pollyanna salute. It is how I feel.

A little reminder

Ross — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:59:17 -0000

I found a link to this post on Seth Godin's blog. It might be worth remembering tonight and over the next few days.

Remember, this is supposed to be fun. It is not life or death. If it is, I would suggest you have some seriously skewed priorties.

http://blogs.squidoo.com/squidblog/?p=276

And remind yourself:

People online are real people.

If you send a nasty email, there’s a real human being on the other end who gets it.
If you flame in a forum, you’re wasting real people’s time.
If you spam someone, you’re really only making yourself look bad.
If you write IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS it sounds like shouting.
If you want something to happen your way, try asking instead of demanding.
If you give, you’ll probably wind up getting, too.
If you blog just to pick fights, don’t be surprised when people don’t trust you.
If you collaborate, say thanks.
If you’re independent, say no thanks.
If you like someone, tell them.
If you don’t, walk away from the computer.
If you’re giving feedback, lead with just one good thing.
If you’re getting feedback, realize that the person must care a lot to have sent it.
If you goof, apologize.
If you apologize, mean it.
If you smile, mean that too.
If you don’t like something, don’t do it.
If you do like something, spread it.

But far far more important:

Give people a break.
The break you probably deserve yourself.
People are out to do good, 99% of the time.
You probably are too.
Say thanks out loud and a lot.
Try making someone’s day.
Chances are they’ll make yours in return.

Posted September 30th, 2008 by Megan Casey