SB Nation User Blog: RudyKelly

Kings Gameday: Cha-a-a-a-nge

RudyKelly — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:11:54 -0000

by Charles Rex Arbogast - AP

Ryan Smyth looks like the preacher from Deadwood in the midst of a seizure. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ Carolina Hurricanes

Wednesday, Nov 11, 2009, 4:00 PM PST
RBC Center

Complete Coverage >

Canes Country is a big fan of Preston Brooks.

Sorry I haven't written anything of substance in about a week; I'm moving pretty soon and I'm working on big changes at work and blah blah blah nobody cares. In the week since I wrote, the Kings reached the highest of highs and then fell to the lowest of lows. The Kings defeated the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-2 last Thursday, riding a 4-goal third period and a dominant performance by Anze Kopitar and his compatriots on the top line. Then the Kings dropped a trap game to the Nashville Predators, losing 3-1 despite the absence of Shea Weber from the Nashville bench. Finally, the Kings got rocked against the Chicago Blackhawks on Monday thanks to a dominant 3rd period by the Hawks and a lackluster performance by Jonathan Quick. Overall, the Kings look like they're in a funk. The quick answer to problems like the one the Kings face right now is to change something, but is there really any reason to change? Let's take a look.

Goaltending: Jonathan Quick has... not been bad, but he hasn't been good either. He let in a pretty bad goal against the Blackhawks and is stuck with a .900 save percentage overall. Quick has made a lot of good saves this season, but he's a goalie who tends to use his limbs instead of his body to make saves so he's more likely to make saves that "look" good. And of course, what's the point of having a goaltender that makes a sprawling glove save if he can't stop a blue line wrist shot, like the one Jordan Staal scored on last Thursday?

Cha-a-a-a-nge: The Kings don't have much faith in Erik Ersberg but they could always call up Jonathan Bernier, who has been killing it in the AHL. They could send down Peter Harrold or Ted Purcell and run with three goalies for a little while, just to see who performs the best. Quick is a player that likes a challenge, so maybe handing him the starting goaltender job wasn't the best decision; maybe a little competition is just what he needs to rise to the expectations we all have for him.

Ultimately, though, I don't think the Kings will make any changes in goal, at least not right now. They'll wait at least until December to see if Quick picks it up or if Bernier cools down. I'm still expecting Bernier to be up in LA by the end of the winter olympics, but it's premature to bring chaos to the crease.

Defense: Defense is fine. The Kings are 2nd in the league in shots against (26.3 shots a game), which is excellent. The Kings recently made a cha-a-a-a-nge on defense, moving Rob Scuderi alongside Drew Doughty and giving Jack Johnson a little help by pairing him alongside Sean O'Donnell. The change did two things: it allowed Rob Scuderi to play on his natural (left) side, and it provided the Kings' two young defenders with players that matched their style. Drew Doughty is positionally solid so pairing him with the positionally perfect Rob Scuderi gives the Kings a top defensive pair that will never be out of position; Jack Johnson is a great physical defenseman but is out of position occasionally, so giving him someone like Sean O'Donnell gives Johnson someone who can recognize this and cover for him. And then there's Matt Greene and Davis Drewiske, who are just okay but funny so I give them a pass.*

*Seriously, they could be their own hockey comedy troupe. You have the veteran Matt Greene, a big dumb guy that screws up but always manage to cover for himself, and then you have the young Davis Drewiske, who always seems like he's terrified to be out there. I don't know why, but every time they're on the ice they do at least one thing that makes me laugh.

Cha-a-a-a-nge: Nope, we're good. Randy Jones will probably get into a game at some point but it's not really necessary.

Offense: The Kings' offense have scored 2 goals in the past 2 games, both goals created by Anze Kopitar's line. This is how the Kings have been skating since Justin Williams came back:

Smyth-Kopitar-Williams

Frolov-Handzus-Simmonds

Parse-Stoll-Brown

Ivanans*-Richardson-Purcell

*He's played in every game this season. Yeesh.

Overall I think these lines are fine but I'm not a big fan of them when the Kings are on the road. The problem with being on the road is that the other team can match your lines and get the best match-ups possible. With the Kings constructed as they are, opposing teams (say, the Blackhawks) can match their best defensive line against Kopitar's line and then skate their best offensive line against Stoll's line, which is probably the weakest of our three defensive lines. The Kings are then left with a good match-up for Handzus' line, but they're built for defense, not offense. It puts the Kings at a disadvantage and doesn't provide them with the best chance to win.

Cha-a-a-a-nge: I don't understand why teams don't mix up their lines when they're home and away. The Kings should use their current lines when they're at home (because they can get Handzus' line against the top scoring line of the other team), but they should use a Frolov-Handzus-Brown line when they're away. It forces the other team to use their best two lines against the Kings' best two lines and it's a match-up the Kings can win against most teams. Depending on the the other team, the Kings can either make their third line a scoring line (Parse-Stoll-Purcell) or a more defensive line (Parse-Stoll-Simmonds). I don't know, makes sense to me.

***

I made the mistake of agreeing to be on the LCS Hockey radio show tonight at 6 PM, which means I'm going to miss the third period of tonight's game. Either that, or I'll be randomly yelling, "Fuck!" or "Fuck yes!" while they're talking. Your'e welcome to listen but you should be warned that I'm not funny at all when I speak. On the plus side, you can listen as my voice starts kinda deep and then gets progressively higher as I get more comfortable.

Prediction: Voice cracks win, 3-0.

Kings Gameday: There's No Time, There's Never Any Time!

RudyKelly — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:08:54 -0000

by Ross D. Franklin - AP

That's a pretty good Ryan Smyth impression, Mr. Walkom. (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ Chicago Blackhawks

Monday, Nov 9, 2009, 5:00 PM PST
United Center

Complete Coverage >

I know there's a lot going on today, what with Luc Robitaille's induction into the Hall of Fame and the Kings playing the Blackhawks tonight and Earl's recent revelation that he's gay, but I'm busy like a bee* and need to do other shit instead of dancing around with cymbals in my hands for your amusement.

*Are bees busy? We don't really know what they're doing in that hive. Maybe they're just hanging out.

Here's a quick recap of the big stories:

-Luc Robitaille is awesome

-Anze Kopitar made Sidney Crosby his bitch

-The Predators made the Kings their bitches

-No one knows if the Kings are good or not yet

-Mambo dog!

Prediction: Kings win, 1-0. Goal by Luc Robitaille.

Scenes from the Father-Son Dinner

RudyKelly — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:15:40 -0000

The Kings took their fathers on their road trip to Phoenix this past week, capping off the festivities with a grand dinner for the 16 fathers that were on the trip. I managed to swipe a waiter's outfit and was able to catch a few snippets of conversation. Here are a few things I saw and heard. Oh, and before you read, it'd probably help to read this article, or at least look at the picture.

Tim Stoll (Jarret's Dad): So, Raitis, I'm sorry to hear your dad couldn't end up making it, but I thought he was going to.

Raitis Ivanans: Well, I guess he ran into a little problem at Customs and couldn't get into the country.

Tim Stoll: Really? What happened? Does he have a record or something?

Raitis Ivanans: My dad is actually a bear, so...

Tim Stoll: Oh.

***

Bob Scuderi (Rob's Dad): Hey, Matjaz, your son's really having a great start this year!

Matjaz Kopitar (Figure it Out): Yes, yes, my young apprentice has truly seen the power of the Dark Side.

Bob Scuderi: Yeah he rea- I'm sorry, did you say Dark Side?

Matjaz Kopitar: Yes, he thought I was mistaken but it turned out he was mistaken, about a great many things!

Bob Scuderi: Uh-huh. ...Boy, that's a pretty cool cell phone ya got there, is that one of those Droid things? I thought they weren't supposed to come out for a while?

Matjaz Kopitar: Oh, I'm afraid this cellular phone is quite operational. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL phone!

Bob Scuderi: Hey, that's pretty cool!

Matjaz Kopitar: I know, I can even update my Twitter! But now I'm sorry, my pathetic Rebel friend, that the time has come; now you will DIE! Hissssss!!!!

Bob Scuderi: ...Please don't point your fingers at me, Matjaz.

Matjaz Kopitar: Hissssssssss!!!!!!!

Terry Murray: So Alexander, where's your dad, I was kinda hoping to meet him.

Alexander Frolov: *Bursts into tears

Terry Murray: *Slowly backs away

***

Jim Greene (Matt's Dad): So, Cyril, right? What is it you do?

Cyril Simmonds (Wayne's Dad): Well actually, I was a bit of a hockey player myself.

Jim Greene: Really, you're both hockey players?

Wayne Simmonds: That's right, we're black and we're hockey players. Let's not make an issue of it.

Cyril Simmonds: No one's making an issue of it, son, you're making an issue of it.

***

Paul Doughty (Drew's Dad): So son, that redesign of SBNation sure does suck, huh?

Drew Doughty: You said it, Pop.

***

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Finish the rest of that steak, son.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I don't wanna, Dad, I'm kinda full.

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Whaddaya mean, you're full? No son of mine is going to leave a plate with food on it! C'mon you limp-wristed pussy, eat that steak!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: But Dad, I'm fu-

Jack Johnson, Sr.: *smacks him I said eat it!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: *crying Alright, fine, I'll eat it!

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Atta boy. I don't know what they're teaching you down here, but men from Michigan always finish their plates.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I hate you, Dad! I hate you! *runs away

***

Bryan Brown: So... how are things?

Dustin Brown: ...Good. Mom?

Bryan Brown: She's fine. Kids?

Dustin Brown: Cool.

Bryan Brown: ...Yep.

Dustin Brown: ...Yep.

*Both drink at the same time

Kings Gameday: Terry Murray, Genius?

RudyKelly — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:16:05 -0000

by Paul Connors - AP

*Sigh This was easier when you guys were terrible. (AP Photo/Paul Connors)

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ Phoenix Coyotes

Monday, Nov 2, 2009, 6:00 PM PST
Jobing.com Arena

Complete Coverage >

I don't know what to think anymore. You probably all know that I run on Beefeater and anger and I'm running dangerously low on both recently. I mean, think about what I had to get mad about last year: John Zeiler, Terry Murray's insane line changes, Jason Labarbera, Brian Willsie (he wasn't on the Kings, but his shittiness was like a nuclear power plant for my anger energy), Jack Johnson getting hurt, the Kings losing, Kopitar struggling, Brown forgetting how to play at the end of the season... I had a lot to be angry about. This season? Not much. The one thing I had was the fact that Peter Harrold was playing but now that Teddy Purcell has been put on the 4th line with Raitis Ivanans and Brad Richardson, I don't even have that. I swear, if the Kings call up Richard Clune and play him in place of Ivanans I might start pimping Terry Murray for the Jack Adams.

Teddy Purcell has been moved to make room for the return of Justin Williams, who retakes his place alongside Anze Kopitar and Ryan Smyth. I thought it was funny that Terry Murray recently explained that a player can't lose his spot because of an injury, yet Scott Parse was called up in Williams' stead and kinda stole Teddy Purcell's job; I guess you can only lose your spot because of someone else's injury.

***

See? That was me trying to muster up some sort of anger about Purcell getting demoted but it doesn't ring true. Bench Fro again, call Drew Doughty a fag, someone do something to piss me off.

Maybe Earl and I should switch places, this feels weird.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-1. Goals by Justin Williams (x2), Simmonds and Ted Purcell.

Kings Gameday: Re-Por-Ting?

RudyKelly — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:48:36 -0000

Next Game

Vancouver Canucks
@ Los Angeles Kings

Thursday, Oct 29, 2009, 7:30 PM PDT
STAPLES Center

Complete Coverage >

Nucks Misconduct is a lot easier to type than "Vancouver Canucks." Try it, it's like doing a somersault with your fingers.

Hey, so this is cool. I discovered this new thing called "Journalism." Yeah I know, weird word, right? Anyway, what you do is you find someone who knows stuff, which is called "information." Then you ask them "questions" and they give you "answers." Then you write down what they say and tell other people. Crazy!

Anyway, I got in touch with Vadim Kuznetsov, an excellent reporter from Russia, to ask him what he thought about the whole Frolov thing and Russians in general. Here's what he said:

What do you think are the major differences in playing style between North Americans and Russians?

It's tough to say. There is a big differense between KHL and NHL games, but the Russian national team can use the same playing style as North Americans. And sometimes they do actually. In KHL some teams just don't use hits at all. They can skate around passing a puck for 60 minutes with no hitting and no body-checking. Sometimes i think they even don't want to shoot a puck. :) Mostly it's because of the referees who whistle whenever guys push each other, although they often miss slashings and dirty plays. But if you look at Russian players who are NHL'ers I guess they can play the Canadian style easily. Look at Ovechkin or Kovalchuk. These guys can score, pass, use their bodies to make plays and hit opponents. Take Artyukhin from Ducks. When I see him playing in the NHL, I have doubts if he was born in Russia.

Yeah, most of Russians who were in NHL before didn't like to play tough but I think it's changing fast. Generally, you won't discover America saying that Russian players do have better technique, that they skate better and probably play just a bit smarter than North Americans. But at the same time there are lot of Canadians who can do with the puck whatever they want to, skate like Tara Lipinski and create goals from nothing. These are two best teams in the World and they would never win using only their own style.

Do you think Russians are unfairly criticized in the NHL? Why or why not?

2. Really hard to say yes or no. We do criticise North Americans who play in KHL as well. If someone who was drafted ten years ago by Red Wings in 7th round does not score 30-35 points per season, people start to complain, saying that there is no need to have Canadian players (or players from any other country) in Russia. I think it's like this everywhere. Once you come to a different country you have to play better than your teammates. And honestly I did not know if coaches in NHL unfairly criticize Russian players. I heard about the Murray and Frolov story, but Alex started to score after that,* so the coach might have been right. I know that Andrei Markov had big problems when he just came to NHL but now that he knows English he is the best defender in the league. Who else... Valery Bure had been criticized but he played bad during that time. Khabibulin almost left Chicago because of the coach but I never understood Nikolai's position actually. He is kind of a weird guy who has problems even with Slava Bykov (coach of the Russian national team). If you don't want to be criticized by foreign journalists, you are always welcome home.

*Fro does have 7 points in the 4 games since he was benched- RK

Isn't that amazing? Thanks, Radim! I think Radim's exactly right when he says that a lot people all over the world hold foreigners from another country to a higher standard than they do their own players. It's easy to see Matt Greene is trying because he tells you during an interview, but that same sentiment may get lost when someone like Michal Handzus is talking. But in no way does everyone do that, and I think it's important that people like you and me call out writers and commenters when they fall into that trap. Let's end hockey xenophobia together!

The more you know...

***

The Kings picked up Randy Jones off re-entry waivers today. Here's how that decision probably went down...

Ron Hextall: Hey Dean, Randy Jones was just placed on waivers. Think we should pick him up?

Dean Lombardi: What? No, why would we want another defenseman?

Ron Hextall: Well, Dean, hear me out, he's-

Dean Lombardi: -No, Ron, I just don't think it's worth it.

Ron Hextall: Dean, listen to me! He gets injured a lot.

Dean Lombardi: Really? That's interesting. But I still don't thi-

Ron Hextall: There's more. He played for Philadelphia.

Dean Lombardi: My God. In that case, I'd guess we'd better...

*Puts sunglasses on

...Take a flyer on him.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know, Randy Jones has been bothered by a hip injury for while now and Flyers fans turn beet red when you mention his name; on the other hand, he is more offensively-minded that most of the defensemen we have and Jones would be another name in a long list of Philadelphia athletes that were unfairly blamed for... something. Whatever, he's only costing the Kings $1.35 million and they could probably get him through waivers if they want to send him back down. I think. Waiver rules are complicated.

***

I was pretty happy with yesterday's game even though the Kings lost in the shootout. It was weird, it was like watching two mirror images trying to fight one another. The top lines (composed of an elite center, a newly acquired left wing and a replacement for an injured right winger) pretty much played even, unable to really establish dominance in the game; the much maligned left wingers on the 2nd lines ended up creating a goal for themselves against makeshift third lines; and the capable goaltenders who play a vast majority of the games for their teams were stellar. Of course, the Sharks were also missing Joe Pavelski and Torrey Mitchell and when they have those two guys they're the best team in the league, but as the teams were comprised I thought the Kings more than held their own.

Of course, when Frolov didn't come out to take the shootout I was apoplectic, but that's another story...

***

The Kings get another crack at a wounded opponent, just like they have against Dallas, Columbus and San Jose the previous three games. The Canucks are missing one of the Sedins (I can't be bothered to look up which) and their all-everything goaltender, Roberto Luongo, is out with a rib injury. (Thanks, Detroit!) The Kings have been able to capitalize on other team's injuries in the past this season so here's hoping they can do the same tonight. Still, though, Vancouver is a good team with a great defense so this game should be a tough one. The game pretty much comes down to how effective Terry Murray is at keeping Anze Kopitar away from Ryan Kesler and, since he has the last change, that should be fairly easy to do. I'm optimistic.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by Smyth (x2), Handzus and... screw it, Raitis Ivanans.

Kings Gameday: Joe Thornton, Woolly Mammoth Enthusiast

RudyKelly — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:08:02 -0000

by Chris Carlson - AP

"It's tusks were like this tall, man! It was awesome." (AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ San Jose Sharks

Wednesday, Oct 28, 2009, 7:30 PM PDT
HP Pavilion

Complete Coverage >

I don't know if you saw this quote, but I did and I spent way to much time considering its ramifications. The set up is that the Sharks were in Washington, D.C. and they had some spare time. Of course Joe Thornton wanted to go to the Smithsonian, not because he's cultured and wants to learn about history but because...

"I’m a woolly mammoth guy, but there are so many cool things," Thornton said. "I’d definitely recommend going to see it."

Did you catch my favorite part? Here it is again, in case you missed it:

I’m a woolly mammoth guy

Jesus Christ, Joe, you make it too easy. First off, the idea that Joe Thornton loves things that are big, thick and hairy is not surprising to anyone, I don't think. Secondly... I mean, the guy loves woolly mammoths?!?!? So much so that he considers himself a "woolly mammoth guy?" Who the fuck says things like that? Especially multimillionaires that are elite athletes to boot. What the hell is wrong with him? The greatest thing about that quote is that I can totally picture it. Can't you see Joe Thornton rounding up Ryane Clowe, Devin Setoguchi and Kent Huskins and excitedly leading them through the Museum of Natural History and then listening with rapt attention as the docent talks about the Mesozoic Era while the other 3 guys check their watches? Why doesn't Thornton speak in cliches and make commercials that show how cool he is instead of talking up woolly mammoths and making ventriloquist commercials? WHY AREN'T YOU LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE????

Joe Thornton is simultaneously the best and worst superstar ever.

(Full Disclosure: When I was in 8th grade I went to D.C. with my class and you better believe I was stoked to go to the Natural History Museum. I was in England this past summer and I spent like 8 hours at their Museum of Natural History, drawing the ire of my brother when I excitedly exclaimed, "The Rosetta Stone! Cool!" I hate Joe Thornton because I hate myself.)

The Kings take to the ice tonight against weird ass Joe Thornton and the San Jose Sharks. Justin Williams is still out with a nasty herpes outbreak so Wayne Meat Train will once again skate with Anze Kopitar and Ryan Smyth on the top line. It'll be a difficult game for the Kings because they usually don't do well at the Shark Tank. The past two years, the Kings have played the Sharks fairly even at home (combined score: 11-11) while generally getting rocked when they play the Sharks at their house (combined score: 5-11). This is most likely because the Kings usually get to match Michal Handzus and Matt Greene up against Joe Thornton at home, while the Sharks get to match up Thornton against Kopitar when they're at home. They won that match-up consistently in the past, but Kopitar's been a different player this year. It'll be interesting to watch how he handles Woolly Joe Thornton tonight.

***

When Terry Murray met with Jonathan Quick to talk about his game last week, he had to have talked to Quick about coming out of the net to play the puck more often. Murray didn't mention it, because why would you give your opponents a head's up about something a tactical change, but since that talk Quick has been much, uh, quicker getting out of the net and relaying the puck to his defensemen. Quick's not a good stick handler and usually when you're not a good stickhandler you'll generally stay in the net because you're afraid you're going to mess up, but the Kings need Quick out there a lot because their defensemen aren't the fleetest of foot and need help. I think it's improved the Kings' breakout immensely. Good call, Terry Murray.

Prediction: Kings lose, 3-1. After the game, Joe Thornton says, "We did a good job tonight of getting on their shafts and really grinding it out until we were satisfied." Then there is 3, 4 seconds of awkward silence.

Scuderi's Hit on Chimera

RudyKelly — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:41:04 -0000

Yikes.

The hit took place in the 1st period of LA's dismantling of the Columbus Blue Jackets, as Jason Chimera chipped the puck into the Kings' zone. Rob Scuderi went to hip check Chimera into the boards and it looks to me like Scuderi started to lose his balance as he bent over for the hit so he ended up going lower than he meant to. Still, dangerous hit and Chimera's lucky he didn't break his neck. I imagine Scuderi will at least get fined, much like Alexander Ovechkin was earlier this week for his slew foot.*

*I'll always remember a Kings game a while ago where Marty McSorley got a penalty for slew footing. They zoomed in on him as he went to the penalty box and I read his lips as he said, "What the fuck is slew footing?" I ask myself that sometimes.

The whole game was Youtube-worthy, what with Alexander Frolov's highlight reel goal to ice the game in the third, Dustin Brown checking himself into his own bench, Steve Mason playing like Perry Mason (that doesn't make sense), Scott Parse laying out a nice hit, Anze Kopitar extending his NHL scoring lead, and some ponce from Columbus getting thrown out of the game for I guess coming off the bench to try to fight Scuderi. Entertaining game and a nice win for the Kings. I have a feeling Blue Jackets fans are probably feeling pretty suicidal right now but I wouldn't worry much if I were them. The Kings lost a bad game near the end of a road trip against Columbus a week ago; it was only fair they get to return the favor.

The real player of the game for the Kings was Bailey, who made me laugh like 4 times tonight. First he was sitting in a premier seat behind the net when the Kings scored their first goal for some reason and it was surreal enough to make me giggle. Then he made me feel bad for Jason Chimera. Chimera, obviously frustrated because he had almost died earlier in the game and because the Blue Jackets were getting their asses handed to them, took a swipe at the back of Alexander Frolov's head to try to goad the Kings into a fight late in the third period. He was largely ignored by the Kings, though, and only Bailey was willing to put up his dukes; unfortunately, they were separated by the glass. Oh Bailey, you card.

Poll

Should Rob Scuderi be suspended for his check on Jason Chimera?

Yeppers

73 votes

Nope

108 votes

What did I tell you about yeppers?

23 votes

Yeeeesshhh

25 votes

229 votes | Poll has closed

Kings Gameday: Anze!

RudyKelly — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 15:08:06 -0000

Next Game

Columbus Blue Jackets
@ Los Angeles Kings

Sunday, Oct 25, 2009, 6:00 PM PDT
STAPLES Center

Complete Coverage >

The Cannon gets farther with chicks than most bloggers.

Her: What do you do?

Him: I write for The Cannon.

Her: Really? What is it?

Him: It's a blog about the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Her: Oh... huh. Look over there! (*runs away)

That's not going to last, but it's nice to look at. Seriously, how well is Anze Kopitar playing right now? Against Dallas Anze had a hat trick and then followed it up with a Joe Thornton hat trick (3 assists), while also drawing 2 penalties. He'll probably be named the #1 star of the week with 7 points in 3 games (4 goals, 3 assists). He's back to where he was his first season, where he suddenly created opportunities for himself that put defensemen in impossible situations. He turns them Kopitarded, you might say. (Wait, I say that.) I'm positive he'll slow down at some point, but how much? I was hoping for 80 points out of Kopitar; now, I'm thinking 90 may not be out of the question.

And the crazy thing? Anze's on pace for 143 points. That's 72 points less than Wayne Gretzky had in his best season. If Wayne were on our team at that pace he'd have 29 points right now. Jesus Christ, Wayne Gretzky was good.

In other news, Ted Purcell is really screwed. Scott Parse played his first NHL game yesterday and did very well, notching his first point (a great assist on Jarret Stoll's second goal) and more importantly showing good defensive responsibility and nice work along the boards. I thought Purcell wasn't bad yesterday (he drew a nice penalty when the Kings were on the power play) but he hasn't been showing the jam Terry Murray wants and he was replaced by Peter Harrold (of course) at the end of the game. When Justin Williams comes back either he or Meat Train will probably take Purcell's spot on the third line. Hopefully Purcell can stick on the 4th line, where a Richardson-Purcell combo would work really well, but I have a bad feeling he's probably going to get sent back down. That would probably spell doom for Ted Purcell's future with the Kings.

Against Dallas, Brenden Morrow had his stick in the vicinity of Dustin Brown's skates and Brown went down. Morrow wasn't happy and let Brown know it. Yesterday, Zbynek Michalek touched Brown on the back and Brown dropped like a bag of hammers. Ed Jovanovski wasn't very happy with that and let Brown know it. Seriously, Dustin Brown is the best diver in the NHL.

***

The Columbus Blue Jackets beat the Anaheim Ducks last night so the Kings should get their back-up goalie, who is, let's see... oh shit. Mathieu Garon is going to play tonight. You are going to see more unnecessary splits by Garon and Quick since the last time you watched Time Cop. And watch, Garon is probably going to shut us out.

Prediction: Kings lose, 2-0. A golf clap for Mathieu Garon.

Poll

How many points will Anze Kopitar score this season?

70-79

12 votes

80-89

31 votes

90+

56 votes

99 votes | Poll has closed

Kings Gameday: The Youth, the Youth, the Youth is on Fire

RudyKelly — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 15:33:24 -0000

by John Lazar - AP

All aboard the Meat Train!!! Wait, that sounds different when it comes out of my mouth. Wait- (AP Photo/John Lazar)

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ Phoenix Coyotes

Saturday, Oct 24, 2009, 6:00 PM PDT
Jobing.com Arena

Complete Coverage >

Check out Five for Howling, where they're fighting an evil billionaire that's trying to move them to TSN.

We don't need no water let the mother fuckers burn! ...Wait, shit, get the water, get the water!

Meat Train Simmonds (21) is going to be lined up alongside Anze Kopitar and Ryan Smyth once again on the top line for the Kings. In the last game Meat had almost 16 minutes of ice time with almost a minute and a half of penalty kill time. Simmonds seemed to enjoy the space created by Kopitar and Smyth, confidently carrying the puck and getting shots on net. He ended up with a goal (on a bea-fucking-utiful pass by Alex Frolov during 4-on-4) and an assist on the game. There were a few moments where Simmonds looked a little uncomfortable, like he wasn't sure where the cycle was going or where he tried to force the puck into Kopitar or Smyth, but overall he looked really good.

Scott Parse (25) will get into his first NHL game tonight alongside Jarret Stoll and Ted Purcell. Parse has had a tough road to the NHL. He went undrafted for two years and instead went to Nebraska-Omaha, a school not known for its hockey prowess. Parse excelled at Nebraska-Omaha and was eventually drafted by the Kings in 2004. Parse would play 4 years at Nebraska-Omaha and then sign with the Kings in 2006, but he was hindered by two herniated discs in his back and hasn't really had a chance to play healthy before about halfway through last season. He had a great start to his season down in Manchester with 11 points in 7 games and his seniority earned him his call-up to the Kings. The Kings are playing Scott Parse in place of Trevor Lewis, who doesn't really have the offensive game to play the role Terry Murray wants out of his 3rd line. Parse, Stoll and Purcell will be expected to produce while still serving as the secondary shutdown line, which is crucial on the road.

Jonathan Quick (23) had to make the Walk of Shame yesterday, prostrating himself at the altar of public opinion in penance for his abysmal display against the Stars on Thursday. (True story: I know what 3 words in the latter part of that sentence mean.) Quick seems open to top corner shots like the one Jamie Benn scored on Thursday because he shrugs when drops to his knees. Try it: try to raise your elbows quickly to eye-level, then try it while shrugging. You'll notice first that you are a lot quicker when you're not shrugging, then you'll notice that you just followed the instructions of some guy on the internet. You should feel bad about yourself now.

Quick also just signed a 3-year contract worth about $1.8 million dollars a year. That's an excellent deal for the Kings if Quick remains their starting goaltender during the duration of the deal and still a good deal if Quick eventually becomes trade bait or a back-up.

Jonathan Bernier (21) had a 40-save shutout last night for the Manchester Monarchs. The AHL was giving a free preview of their online feed so I was able to catch about half the game and Bernier looked really, really good. He was confident even when faced with a scramble in front of the net, stood tall in the net, and even showed a little feistiness by getting in an opposing player's face after Bernier was hacked after the whistle. So far Bernier has a 1.34 GAA and a .963 SV%. That low hum you hear will soon become a deafening roar if Bernier keeps it up.

Davis Drewiske (24) also signed a 3-year contract yesterday worth $800,000 a season. Drewiske's fine for the limited role he plays and should easily earn his deal. It does set up an interesting situation for the future, where the Kings have Drew Doughty, Jack Johnson, Rob Scuderi, Matt Greene and now Drewiske signed or under control for 3 more years. That doesn't leave much room for Sasha Voynov, Thomas Hickey or Colten Teubert. What are we, the Red Wings?

Anze Kopitar (22) is messing with my perceptions. I've always thought that Kopitar did worse against the Coyotes than most other teams, assuming it was because of Ed Jovanovski or Zbynek Michalek or the way he played them, so I did a little research to check what I thought was true. Apparently I'm a jackass, because it's not true at all. In fact, Kopitar actually does slightly better against the Coyotes (.91 p/g) than he does overall (.89). Huh. Kopitar should get a steady does of Martin Hanzal tonight. I caught up to Kopitar and asked him if he was worried about Hanzal and he replied, "Not as much as I'm worried about Gretel!" I said, "You stole that from Zoolander," and he looked down sadly and mumbled, "I just wanted to be funny once." Not everyone can do it, big guy.

***

The Coyotes and the Kings are tied atop the Pacific Division. The hell? The 'Yotes have actually played two less games than the Kings though and are on a 4-game winning streak. And before anyone starts: yes, hardly anyone will be at the game tonight and no, it's not really that funny. You're from Los Angeles, show some support for your fellow Sun Belters. And then cheer when the Kings beat the shit out of the Coyotes tonight.

Prediction: Kings win, 2-1. Goals by Scott Parse and Davis Drewiske in the worst game of hockey ever played. This victory will vault the Kings to the top of the division.

How to Score a Goal

RudyKelly — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:57:10 -0000

Step 1: Receive puck from teammate and notice that you're surrounded by 4 opposing players

Step 2: Take the puck wide while entering the zone and increasing your speed

Step 3: Swing the puck from the inside to the outside in one continuous motion while cutting to towards the net. Oh, and maintain your speed the entire time. Oh, and also lean in to shield the puck from the defender. Oh, and get ready to do this...

Step 4: Cut to the inside with the puck and fake a shot to keep the goaltender anchored to the inside post. Fight off the simultaneous hooks to your torso and hands and cut across the crease.

Step 5: Cut across the length of the crease past the outstretched pad of the goaltender and deposit the puck into the net. And remember, you're getting hooked this whole time so you should hold tightly onto your stick.

Step 6: Celebrate with your teammates. Congratulations! You have just scored a goal.

***

Seriously, how good was Anze Kopitar last night? The Purcell-Stoll-Lewis line sucked, Rob Scuderi effed up a lot, Jonathan Quick looked like shit all night, and none of that ended up mattering because Kopitar took over the game. On top of that goal above*, Kopitar had a great fake pass and then charge to the net and then a fluke goal for the hat trick, the first of his career. He's now tied for the league lead in points. Will that last all season? Yes, absolutely.

*A lot of people are going to blame Stephane Robidas for that goal, but to be fair to him that was a pretty sick move by Kopitar. Kopitar's 6'4", so you figure he swung the puck about 8 feet when he switched the puck to the outside. Robidas went from in position to embarassed in about .5 seconds. Honestly, who stops that? Chara, Pronger (whoops, nevermind)... I can't think of anyone else.

People are also going to blame Alex Auld, arguing that he should have poke-checked the puck away from Kopitar's stick when he cut across the crease or get his pad to the opposite post. In his defense:

1) He wasn't expecting Robidas to let Kopitar go around him like that;

2) If he had tried a poke-check Kopitar could have easily slid the puck between his pads or Auld might have missed, leaving him way out of position;

3) He had to guard the near post to protect a shot to the short side and it's a tall order to expect any goaltender to make a cross-crease slide when all his weight is leaning the opposite direction from where he is supposed to slide.

That goal wasn't anyone's fault; Kopitar's just really good.

Highlights from last night: