According to the classy, Aubarn creed abiding Aubarn men over TET, it's official (and is awaiting to be made public), Nick Saban is going to Michigan!!!! And while that does simply put "suck" there is hope on the frontier...

Considering they're reveling in Alabama's sudden loss, I say we return the favor by snatching up their head coach, Gus Malzahn. That's right AUtards, we're coming for Malzahn. Remember the shit-storm you guys brewed the day Gene Chizik was announced as head coach? Well a new one shall brew after he finishes 3-9 next season, because without Malzahn, the defensive mastermind whose defenses at Aubarn have ranked near the bottom of the barrel, cannot and will not win without him having the luxury of Malzahn as OC.

Even if you guys continue buy which players you want, not even Gene Chizik, alone, can coach them up WITHOUT Gus Malzahn.

Even though you're laughing about our loss, we'll be laughing at you when your former coach's offense is hanging 60+ on your seemingly non-existent defense.

Welcome back Mr. 5-19 and you classy Aubarn people who welcomed him in with harsh criticism and middle fingers are once again going to get what you paid for. Brothers and sisters of the incestuous Aubarn family, go ahead and round up all the pitchforks you can find around the Wire Road trailer park(s) and lower those confederate flags, because Mr. 5-19 is back!!!

lulz

I just read a post over on our neighbors to the west blog (Track 'Em Tigers) where they are calling us out for our behavior after the loss, and claiming they would NEVER do such a thing....

If I had all the time in the world, I'd dig up every single negative post I could (on their boards) from 2007-2009 (2007 being the negativity they directed toward their team after the South Florida loss). Unfortunately, I don't, but I do know this....

1) You guys (fans) ran off your most successful coach in modern history for recording his first losing season in 8 years. I understand it was ultimately the administrations decision, however, all throughout 2008 barnzoes were calling for his head, and again, he was their most successful coach in modern history.

2) I don't think I've ever heard Alabama fans boo their very own. However, I do recall hearing the Wire Road inhabitants booing both Kodi Burns and Chris Todd in 2008 AND Brandon Cox in 2007. In addition to that, they were under so much fire and criticism from the barnzoes, I wouldn't be surprised if they all said FU after they left/leave.

3) Never, NEVER, in my life have I seen fans and supporters turn on their beloved university the way barn fans did when Cheez-it was announced as head coach. Even after Shula lost his 4th consecutive Iron Bowl, 3/4ths of the Alabama nation was wanting him to be retained. Cheez-it endured so much criticism to the point of which I'm not surprised he didn't resign on his second day on the job. Even though his 8 wins in 2009 should be credited to Malzahn, and his undefeated 2010 campaign should be credited to both Malzahn and an ineligible Cam Newton, if I was Cheez-it, I'd use what brief success I've attained to lure other schools after me and bolt out on the barn in the middle of the night.

4) 2009 was one of the biggest shit-storms ever created by college football fans (second to LSU and Texas this season). All it took was for Malzahn to nearly pull off a win over 'Bama, and they were back on board. Even after the MSU and Clemson games this year, the ITAT'ers were throwing kids under the bus left and right.

5) As far as class goes, I've yet to see it during my few unfortunate trips to the cesspool that is Lee County. They can hype up the Aubarn creed all they want, but their fans DO NOT live by it. Delusion runs rampant in that pissant town.

Case in point: barnzoes are bigger hypocrites than politicians. I know that's nothing new, but I'm seriously sick of all this "holier than thou art" talk. I don't care if Alabama's football program never wins a game from here on out, The University of Alabama and T-Town are both much greater than Aubarn University and its Mayberry-esque town. If I were them, I'd be too embarrassed to claim that school, but sadly, most of their backwoods fans, students, and alumni come from the heart of the deep south, and Lee County is like freaking Disney Land to them!

Stay tuned... when Newton and Malzahn leaves, their program is going to be in for a world of hurt (especially if the NCAA bends them over) and I can assure you the meltdown material will be golden....

With that being said, I leave you with this....