Seattle Offside Archives

  • joined Jul 11, 2012
  • last login Jul 11, 2012
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Crew 0-4 Sounders! (Nkufo for Sainthood!)


Dear Sounders Front Office: As you may have noticed, the Sounders play extremely well on $1 beer nights. Of course, since it's only happened once, there is the chance that this could be a...

The Blow to Ozzie's Manparts and all the Other Things I Should've Been Blogging About


Wow, this two-game-a-week schedule really doesn't leave much time for being lazy, does it? (Damn.) So let's just jump right in and talk about all the stuff I should have been blogging about all...

A Limerick in Honor of the Thug's Thug, New England's Shalrie Joseph (UPDATED with Video)


Well, THAT was depressing. A game Sounders should have won (despite playing kind of abysmally) but instead lost 3-1 after a twelve-minute complete loss of focus after our nice young man Patrick...

This USOC Video is Amazing! (And a few odds and ends about tonight's game)


So I should probably be thinking about a preview for the Revs-Sounders match tonight. (4:30 pacific, I'm assuming on KONG in the Seattle area.) But, hey, I'm just the temp help, and the boss is...

Scandal! Outrage! New York Fans Steal From Fredy What is Rightfully His! Except...Kind of...Not


I am really, really trying to work up some outrage here. Hold on... Okay, still working. Give me a second... Crap. Can't do it. Sorry. Maybe you can help. Because apparently our own Fredy...

Sounders Season Ticket Holders, Want to Go to the USOC Final? CALL YOUR REP NOW!


This would be what is known as a Public Service Announcement. If you're a season ticket holder who think you have plenty of time to buy tickets, because the presale doesn't end till Monday...

The Target Forward Dilemma: Is Nkufo Worth the DP Slot?


Oh! Look! It's Nate Jaqua! (Seriously, though, this looks more like last year's Nate Jaqua. When Nate came back from injury this year, I decided he'd been the victim of an alien abduction and...

Yes, I Booed Ljungberg (OR: It's Not Personal, Fredo, it's Strictly Business)


Yes, okay, fine, I'll admit it. I booed Freddie Ljungberg. Not in the beginning, when he was announced in the lineup. Then I cheered, for all he'd given us in the one-and-a-half years he played. ...

Worse Losses than Ljungberg OR: She's (Temporarily) BACK!


(WARNING: This is a Freddie Ljungberg post that does NOT contain underwear. You're welcome. Or apologies. Whichever applies. But you may not be so lucky in the post-game.) Hey, Offsiders. ...

Passing the Torch


The wheels of justice may turn slowly, but the wheels of blogging are pretty damn fast. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to your new blogger, Denny, who up to now has run the blog B...

The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said (OR: Blogger Needed)


Sounders fans, this site could use a blogger. A real one. It's been great fun, but now it's time for me to be done. If you're interested, drop Daryl a note -- daryl[at]theoffside[dot]com. Send...

Ain't No Offside on a Throw-in, and Can't be a Bleah Game When You Win


Congrats to Michael Fucito on his first MLS goal! (Right place, right time, great finish. Hard work does pay off.) Great ending to a rather lackluster game. P.S. Apparently thanks are also due...

Second Goal is Now Tyrone's, OR: Hey, We CAN Score on a Set Piece!


News out today is that the second goal -- which Tyrone Marshall seemed so thrilled to have scored on Saturday, only to have it snatched away and declared a Nat Borchers own goal -- has now...

RSL-Seattle is Here


I got busy watching Real Madrid and Barcelona today and never did get a preview up. But I wanted to post this link to Sounder at Heart's truly good "MatchDay Quick Reference Card" before the game...

The More Decent a Person Is, the More Disturbingly Likely He/She is to Take Me Seriously. (OR: Go See Freddie on TV!)


E-mail exchange between me and Margaret Larson, the incredibly decent TV journalist who has worked with multiple humanitarian organizations and is now back with KING 5. Larson, Margaret to me H...

A Little Limerick for the Newly-Departed Jeff Parke


When it comes to the Sounders, the bar for inclusion in my brood (in my capacity as Unofficial Team Mom) is set quite low. In a nutshell, you must: A) Not be a trialist, and B) Bleed rave green...

Seattle's Problem? We're Just Too Damn Polite


Pretty sure I have the reason for our loss last night: Our politeness. Sounders: No! Go ahead! Take our midfield! We're not using it! And score a goal? No! After you! The real problem last...

Dear Santa Claus


Dear Santa Claus, I'm pretty sure you missed the Sounders last year, so I would just like to remind you that we have been very, very good, and it's never too late. Because we have been so very,...

A Little Bit of a Seattle-RBNY Preview


I have about fifteen minutes to offer up thoughts on tonight's game so I can claim I did something similar to a preview, and so anybody not at the game can leave comments. First thought: The...

Here's Why You Really Should Follow Me on Twitter


I should probably be busily writing up something about the Red Bulls game tonight. But I'd rather get ready to dye Easter eggs while explaining to you why you really should follow me on Twitter. T...

Peter Nowak and Toni Stahl Redefine "the Beautiful Game" (in a potentially NSFW Way)


Because I am such a decent person and value your job in this economy, I am putting the photo below the jump. But when your boss is at lunch, be sure to click. I believe that the friend who c...

Here's Why I'm Choosing to be Happy About the Noonan Signing


I think I'm going to choose to be happy about the Pat Noonan signing. Not for the reasons you think, though. Not because of what it means for the team (because I have no idea what it means for the...

The State of Freddie Ljungberg's Butt


If you think I could pass up the opportunity to write about Freddie Ljungberg's posterior, you really don't know me very well, do you? What's that you say? You're telling me that technically it's...

Imitation, Flattery, etc. Chivas USA Have their own March to the Match! (But With More Flesh)


Must say that my first impulse here was snark about our March being better. But after thinking about it, instead I have to say, "Good for them." They took a great idea and altered it to fit the...

All About ACES


I was just visiting the Analytics for this site, and I see that a number of people have stopped by today looking for info on ACES. I'm guessing that this relates to that sweet little airplane...

Seattle 2-0 Philly (See? My Bad Dreams Are Good Luck!)


I'm trying desperately to remember what I ate and thought about before my dream, so I can eat and think about all the same things and have the same dream and use up all the bad juju on the nights...

Pre-game Checklist


Sounders Sweatshirt? Check Scarves? Check Tickets? Check Full tank of gas? Check. DVR set to record? Check. (A recording which I will watch only if they win. I mean...Wait! Wait! WHEN they...

The Dream I Probably Shouldn't Tell You About


So I had a dream about the Sounders last night. My dream included about a full minute of the game. During that minute, they hit the post four times. No goals. This is not the kind of dream I...

No Goals? Perhaps the Problem Could Be Solved With a Little Help From Merriam Webster


David over at the Goal Seattle forum has a thread up entitled "WTF are the GOALS?" I'm assuming the "W" in the title is for "Where"? But then again it could be "What." Come to think of it, that...

Shoot! SHOOT! JUST SHOOT THE @#$%#$% BALL!!!!!! (Or Seattle 0-1 Portland)


Stretches of beautiful possession. Complete inability to put the ball in the net. And one defensive brain fart. That pretty much sums up the game, yeah? First, the worst part: We lost. To...

Showing 1 - 30 of 500 Older
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