I just now got John Morgan's executive washroom key back. He slipped it under the door, along with a broken pinata full of airplane whiskey bottles and a Jerramy Stevens rookie card. I can't leave you guys alone for two years, can I?

And yes, the executive washroom is still under my control. That's the only vestige I have left. It's largely ceremonial. Well, completely ceremonial, isn't it?

How's it going?

after that guy wrote The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo whose titular character was clearly based on me, except he turned me into a goth girl with anti-social tendencies, questionable dietary habits and a penchant for bi-curiosity, instead of the midlife-crisis-havin' under-overachiever who swills malt liquor like it's Sunny Delight and brings a shudder of fear to high-school multi-purpose rooms by proclaiming "Entropy: It's The Law" at otherwise optimistic assemblies...

But I gotta say, as you can see, I'm very much enjoying this one.

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Dear Mariners: It's okay. I'm gonna make it. I lead a full life. I got family and friends. We just signed up for a farm box. I'll be fine.

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Dear Mariners: Oh, no - there's a blemish on the cauliflower. Screw it. Where are my Smiths albums?

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Dear Mariners: Whenever one of you strikes out looking, God gives a Cap Hill hipster a wedgie. Please. Think of the children.

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Dear Mariners: Last night someone told me a dirty joke and asked me if I took offense. I said no, the Mariners might need it.

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Dear Mariners: Watching your games on FSN is like watching a French film in HD, minus the single sad red balloon drifting towards heaven.

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Dear Mariners: Things are so bad, singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" makes me feel like I'm in the death chorus in a Wagner opera.

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Dear Mariners: Things are so bad, now I only use rally fries to get me through reorganizing my shoe tree. I own only 5 pairs of shoes.

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Dear Mariners: Things are so bad, last night Milton Bradley called me to try and cheer me up.

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Dear Mariners: Things are so bad, Ozzie Guillen is leading my sensitivity training.

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Dear Mariners: Things are so bad, John Rocker's my sponsor.

Note to married couples who get crazy drunk before game time, then go to Seahawks games: It's not the forum to air out your marital problems.

Note to husband: Stop picking fight with new guy every week.

Note to wife: Please stop touching my leg.

Note to Qwest Field: I think we'd like that seat upgrade next season, whaddaya think?

2/11/2009, 12:00pm: Told the Jets I was done. I'm officially retired for good. Thanks to all the fans for their support...

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Ever wondered what happened to former Seahawk quarterback Rick Mirer?

Well, can I tell you anyway?

He's in Napa Valley running the Mirror Winery with partner Jeff Smith. They have released their first concoction, an '05 Cab, and are having a tasting party somewhere in Cali on May 29.

You can join the mailing list. Like I just did. Because the wait for the Mariners game to start is a little longer than I realized.

Brian Bosworth was reported to ask if Mirror Wine will come in bottles small enough to fit his car's beverage holders.

Tip your waitress.

This blew my mind. My wife told me this last night:

As I was riding the bus home from Qwest last night, my wife Kate and our 3-year-old daughter Lucie are watching the beginning of the Dallas-Green Bay game. The camera takes a shot of Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Lucie sees it, and according to my wife, this is what she said:

Lucie: "Oooh, that's the new guy."

Kate: "What? Who?"

Lucie: "Him. That's the new guy. And everybody was nervous about him. But it's okay now."

I have not discussed the Rodgers-Favre brushup with Lucie at all because -- well, it just didn't come up, you know?

Oh God. A Packers fan. In my own home. I've tried as a father. I've really tried. I don't know what to do.

Yes, this is what I've been reduced to as a former sports blogger: making trivial note of any chance encounter with an athlete that I might have as a football fan, grasping onto the fumes of coincidence so I can show off my mere presence in the right place at the right time. It's pretty pathetic actually. Don't become like me.

THAT SAID, I was at a Belltown restaurant this evening with Some Business Associates, and about halfway through our pork terrine, Matt Hasselbeck walks in and takes the table next to us with a couple of friends. It was kind of thrilling.

Did not appraoch him.

His back looked fine but he didn't use it that much.

Anyway, that's all.

Um, anyone hitting Bumbershoot this weekend? 

Naturally I'm despairing about the Sonics buyout, but I don't have much to say personally about it. It was a fait accompli 2 years ago.

All I will say is that I clicked over to The Oklahoman newspaper website this evening. The #2 story in the "Top Viewed" list of Oklahoman stories was "Oklahoma City gets NBA team."

The #1 story was: "Dog sex tapes lead to arrests":

TULSA — A woman who was charged with committing felony crimes against nature was arrested this morning after police were notified of more than 150 homemade movies of the Tulsa County woman engaging in various sex acts with dogs.

Welcome to the big time, NBA.

By now you know: This afternoon the Seahawks parted ways with the most successful running back in franchise history, Shaun Alexander (ESPN.com). Shaun made a typically classy parting statement to the city of Seattle, reprinted on the News-Trib's Seahawks Insider blog.

Hopefully you've read Mr. Morgan's eulogy above. I think it pretty much says it perfectly. There won't be another Seahawk like him.

Hey. Hope you like the new place. Man, it's tall.

So I seem to start a new blog every year, whenever I get the flimsiest of inspirations while doing things I'm not really paying attention to in the first place. And I've done so again: Museum Of Pop Archaeology. It is, I trust, self-explanatory.

There is also a Facebook Group for the Museum that you may consider joining.

The Benign Comedy is still up, but on hiatus. I'm just not into telling the truth lately.

Thanks. I'm out like Clay Bennett's soul.

--P

Hold your horses, it's officially become a screwball comedy: Howard Schultz is going to sue Clay Bennett to regain ownership of the Sonics.

This is just flat-out adorable. This is the cutest thing.

It's a Hail Mary, of course, and I don't think it'll work in the end, but it's at least a little more likely the Sonics' impending move to OK City might get delayed for a spell.

From the Seattle Times, verification that you, the sports fan, are smarter than most state and local officials in these matters, and definitely smarter than would-be sports team owners who still haven't learned never to correspond via the internet: The long-rumored emails indicating that Clay Bennett was planning to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City long before he was supposed to legally start talking about it.

Um, question. Little question here. How exactly was it that I, a poor schlub erstwhile fake sportswriter, figured out that this was Bennett's plan within hours of the announcement that he'd bought the team?

And I am to believe that local government officials are truly stunned, and not feigning indignation, that these self-proclaimed rednecks were not operating in good faith, but in fact fucking liars?

You mean, we really are smarter than the people we're electing? Wow! I thought that was just a gimmick to make us watch more cable!

Good lord. This is hilarious.

I'm not saying anything more. It might sound like I'm bitter.

Two weeks in Nashville, Olympia, and Austin. Some observations:

(1) Elvis is still the king of dead guys in Nashville, but Johnny Cash is racing way up the posthumous hit parade.

(2) You do not have to be dead (yet) to get your own statue in Nashville. Billy Graham has one.

(3) Brad Paisley and Miranda Lambert are brilliant. As for the rest of the contemporary country scene in Nashville... well.

(4) I should never try to sing Stevie Wonder at karaoke after I've had six Witty Chucks and have blown my voice by singing Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" and impersonating Sean Connery rapping "Stronger."

(5) Austin, Texas is the most bohemian city in the United States. Sorry, Yakima.

(6) Never take public transit after midnight in Austin. Actually, you don't even have to make the choice: the fucking buses just won't stop for you.

(7) Hayes Carll's "She Left Me For Jesus" is the greatest country song of the decade.

(8) My Morning Jacket is the closest thing to Radiohead America has, and they will soon give the best arena concerts on the planet.

(9) Sensible shoes are a must in Austin during SXSW. I found this out the hard way. The bottoms of my feet look like the top of Mount Vesuvius. My daughter looked at them tonight and said, "That looks like meat and juice!"

(10) I no longer have an aversion to cowboy hats.

(11) Both Nashville and Austin are hardcore basketball towns at the moment for good reason.

(12) I guess we're not, eh?

The Packers' quarterback is done. His team's spanking of the Seahawks in last year's divisional round will therefore stand as his last professional victory.

When he wasn't playing us, I had a whole lot of admiration and respect for Brett Favre. He looked like he was having fun. He was the anti-Ryan Leaf. Then again, anybody who signed a Christmas card was by definition the anti-Ryan Leaf. But not many could throw the ball.

His cinematic high point was his role as the ex-boyfriend the Farrelly Brothers' There's Something About Mary.

Two of my ex-girlfriends had obsessions with Brett Favre which made me somewhat uncomfortable.

Anyway, Wisconsin's gonna be melancholy today. Try to wrap up business early. Happy trails.

O, who has set my heart on a melancholy journey? 'Tis you, my strong-footed minstrel.

Dreamboat won't be floating in Elliott Bay next season.

(Sigh.) Who's gonna cover our kickoff returns now?

Thanks for the memories, J.B.

Update [2008-2-29 20:57:3 by Shrug]: But we'll still see him at Qwest once a year. According to the Seattle Times, Josh is now a St. Louis Ram. Be good to him, seattlesucks... (sniff, sniff).

I'm really not that broken up about it, actually, but there's no denying Dreamboat's place in Seahawks lore.

Update [2008-2-29 21:8:3 by Shrug]: 2: According to that Times article, the Seahawks allegedly offered Brown a deal that would have made him the highest-paid placekicker in NFL history.

Not that Dreamboat wouldn't try to earn every penny in that contract, but personally I think the Hawks just avoided a little financial bullet.

Fresh off our thundering conquest of the Football Outsiders end-of-season poll, we're participating again in the Metroblogging Seattle Blarch Badness blogging tournament.

We are in the "Friends/Enemies of Metblogs" bracket. (We're the former, I'm gathering.)

We would appreciate your votes. Until our money from the arms sales starts getting deposited, winning polls is pretty much our only compensation. Not that it ain't nice.

Gotta go. Hank is currently soiling his bracket.

Hey, here's some perky news: MSNBC's Bill Williamson, whose name I have never heard before today, puts 5-1 odds on the Seahawks to win Super Bowl XLIII. That's third in the NFC behind Dallas and the Giants, and sixth overall behind overall front-runners New England, Indianapolis, San Diego, plus those two. Reason cited: Holmgren's last season, motivation, balanced team.

We like to call these types of things "premature evaluations." But they can be just as satisfying, especially if you're spending Valentine's Day alone.

Dead last: Kansas City and Atlanta.

The New York Giants are NFL Champions. The New England Patriots are not. Eli Manning is Super Bowl MVP.

Screw the writer's strike. That's comedy.

Congratulations to the Giants and Big Blue View.

Seriously. This shit's crazy. Discuss here.

Update [2008-2-5 14:8:13 by Shrug]: After (way too) much reflection, I've decided the Jets' win in Super Bowl III was more of an upset than this was. In 1969 the NFL was an indomitable force in American sports while the AFL was run out of a strip mall Hank Stram owned in Kansas City. It was right next to the Popeye's. Anyway, so we changed the headline.

The final game of the 2007-08 season. Ah, well, what the hell. We're havin' chili. See you next year. In the meantime, comment here if you like.

Actually, I kinda get the dude's point...

****(Audio NSFW)****

The Seattle Times has begun a multi-part series on the 2000 UW Huskies -- the last good team the school had -- and the various, troubling off-field escapades. The first installment is primarily devoted to our old acquaintance, Jerramy Stevens.

If for some reason you haven't had contempt for Stevens before, this article should pretty much do it for you.

I have no other comment about the story, yet.

ShrugBaby II would like to reprazent:

Henry Declan Pearson was born at 12:40pm on January 25, 2008, in beautiful Seattle, Washington.

He's got a pair of lungs on 'im, I can tell you that. But he at least had the foresight to be born during the bye week between championships and the Super Bowl.

You can call him Hank.

Update [2008-1-25 21:11:27 by Shrug]: Picture in the comments. I think he's gonna be a halfback. Will try to get him started on the don't-drop-the-pass regimen ASAP.

You remember the abandoned Seahawksmobile that's been parked in front of the next door neighbor's yard for the three months I've lived in my new house?

This thing:

Well, I regret to inform you that not one hour ago, the towing company came and took it away. Hopefully they will be taking the two other abandoned cars directly in my purview. Then property values will go through the roof, lemme tell ya.

But let's raise a glass to the 12th Car. May some junk dealer get at least 12 bucks out of the thing.

Here's the game thread for when the Giants meet the Packers this afternoon in the NFC Championship game, live from the Boomerang Nebula.

Just in case you're watching football this afternoon, here's an open thread for the AFC Championship game. Can the Chargers pull off the biggest upset in conference championship history against the 17-0 Patriots?

No. No they can't. But here's the game thread.

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The second season of Field Gulls, in my estimation, kicked ass. Thanks to everyone for hanging out here and making solid contributions. I can't believe how great this community has become, but then again, I can.

Obviously a huge thanks to John Morgan for taking this over and making FG exactly what I hoped it would become: an insightful, fun place with a great community.

I'm not sure how involved I'll be in administration from here on out, but I'll still be hanging out.

In the meantime, you'll hear from me again when my son Hank is born, which is due for the day before the Super Bowl. So in a way I'm glad that day's kinda cleared up a little.

Have a great off-season folks.

The game's already bad enough, might as well cut the refresh time.

	at

I won't belabor the point. You know what this is all about. I would like to mention, however, that for this game, we got Chad on our side.

Commentary here and at our Packers blog, Acme Packing Co.

I feel a wind a-comin', 12 percenters...

Tyler Hansbrough is a 6'9" forward for the NC Tar Heels. Kenny George is the 7'7" center for UNC Asheville.