SB Nation User Blog: Shrug

Scenes From a Marriage at Qwest Field

Shrug — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:26:04 -0000

Note to married couples who get crazy drunk before game time, then go to Seahawks games: It's not the forum to air out your marital problems.

Note to husband: Stop picking fight with new guy every week.

Note to wife: Please stop touching my leg.

Note to Qwest Field: I think we'd like that seat upgrade next season, whaddaya think?

If Brett Favre Were on Twitter (Updated)

Shrug — Wed, 06 May 2009 08:16:26 -0000

2/11/2009, 12:00pm: Told the Jets I was done. I'm officially retired for good. Thanks to all the fans for their support...

2/14/2009, 2:00pm: Got my Burpee seed catalog today. Gonna plant some serious vegetation this off-season. Retirement's great.

2/15/2009, 2:00pm: Got my Burpee seed catalog today. Gonna plant some serious vegetation this off-season. Retirement's great.

2/21/2009, 5:48pm: Went to the Combine. Just to offer advice, if asked. Retired people are often asked to consult. Wanted to be available.

2/21/2009, 6:09pm: I can seriously still outhrow half those guys at the Combine. If I wanted to. But I don't, no sir. Not much.

2/23/2009, 1:32pm: Right on! Seeds showed up in the mail! Heirloom veggies are all gonna be my bitches this year. I love retirement.

3/2/2009, 11:13am: Growing eggplants in the greenhouse. Not much action yet. But I can wait, I got all the time in the world. I'm retizzled, my nizzle.

3/15/2009, 5:18pm: Question: Are eggplants supposed to have kernels? Just wondering.

3/27/2009, 6:23am: Never mind about the eggplants. Probably should find another hobby. Thankfully, a man in my retired position can afford to do that.

3/31/2009, 11:44am: Painting landscapes now. I did one of the Smoky Mountains. Not-half bad.

3/31/2009, 1:39pm: Improved Smoky Mountain painting by putting Brian Urlacher in it. He's milking a cow.

4/4/2009, 3:20pm: I injured my ankle painting a picture of Frida Kahlo painting herself. Putting the kibosh on art for now.

4/10/2009, 7:12pm: Just spoke with my agent. He gave me some what-if scenarios. I told him no, I'm totally high on sculpting bonzais right now.

4/15/2009, 9:54pm: Made a great bonzai that looks just like Michael Strahan.

4/18/2009, 10:18am: Tripped on the Strahan bonzai. Screw trees. I think I'll go make some mead.

4/28/2009, 5:54pm: Told my agent no, no, a thousand times no! I am a man of culture now. I think I'll go read some James Joyce.

4/30/2009, 12:04pm: James Joyce kind of looks like the linebacker coach at So. Miss. The one who cursed a lot.

5/1/2009, 4:14pm: I don't get James Joyce.

5/2/2009, 11:37pm: Cable's out.

5/3/2009, 1:45pm: How many more times do I have to say it? I'm retired. Done. Finished. Stop calling.

5/4/2009, 5:12pm: A free parking space? I'm there, Twin Cities! You're about to get schooled, Tarkenton!

[UPDATE] 5/6/2009, 7:11pm: It was a compact parking space. Screw 'em. I'm hitting the Mall of America for crochet hooks and heading back.

Let Rick Mirer get you drunk

Shrug — Sun, 03 May 2009 00:35:05 -0000

Ever wondered what happened to former Seahawk quarterback Rick Mirer?

Well, can I tell you anyway?

He's in Napa Valley running the Mirror Winery with partner Jeff Smith. They have released their first concoction, an '05 Cab, and are having a tasting party somewhere in Cali on May 29.

You can join the mailing list. Like I just did. Because the wait for the Mariners game to start is a little longer than I realized.

Brian Bosworth was reported to ask if Mirror Wine will come in bottles small enough to fit his car's beverage holders.

Tip your waitress.

Football Analysis With My 3-Year-Old

Shrug — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:43:33 -0000

This blew my mind. My wife told me this last night:

As I was riding the bus home from Qwest last night, my wife Kate and our 3-year-old daughter Lucie are watching the beginning of the Dallas-Green Bay game. The camera takes a shot of Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Lucie sees it, and according to my wife, this is what she said:

Lucie: "Oooh, that's the new guy."

Kate: "What? Who?"

Lucie: "Him. That's the new guy. And everybody was nervous about him. But it's okay now."

I have not discussed the Rodgers-Favre brushup with Lucie at all because -- well, it just didn't come up, you know?

Oh God. A Packers fan. In my own home. I've tried as a father. I've really tried. I don't know what to do.

I saw Hass tonight!

Shrug — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:41:16 -0000

Yes, this is what I've been reduced to as a former sports blogger: making trivial note of any chance encounter with an athlete that I might have as a football fan, grasping onto the fumes of coincidence so I can show off my mere presence in the right place at the right time. It's pretty pathetic actually. Don't become like me.

THAT SAID, I was at a Belltown restaurant this evening with Some Business Associates, and about halfway through our pork terrine, Matt Hasselbeck walks in and takes the table next to us with a couple of friends. It was kind of thrilling.

Did not appraoch him.

His back looked fine but he didn't use it that much.

Anyway, that's all.

Um, anyone hitting Bumbershoot this weekend?

OT: She is a woman possessed!

Shrug — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 05:14:39 -0000

Naturally I'm despairing about the Sonics buyout, but I don't have much to say personally about it. It was a fait accompli 2 years ago.

All I will say is that I clicked over to The Oklahoman newspaper website this evening. The #2 story in the "Top Viewed" list of Oklahoman stories was "Oklahoma City gets NBA team."

The #1 story was: "Dog sex tapes lead to arrests":

TULSA — A woman who was charged with committing felony crimes against nature was arrested this morning after police were notified of more than 150 homemade movies of the Tulsa County woman engaging in various sex acts with dogs.

Welcome to the big time, NBA.

Shaun Alexander Released

Shrug — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:02:31 -0000

By now you know: This afternoon the Seahawks parted ways with the most successful running back in franchise history, Shaun Alexander (ESPN.com). Shaun made a typically classy parting statement to the city of Seattle, reprinted on the News-Trib's Seahawks Insider blog.

Hopefully you've read Mr. Morgan's eulogy above. I think it pretty much says it perfectly. There won't be another Seahawk like him.

OT: Another new Shrug blog

Shrug — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:22:56 -0000

Hey. Hope you like the new place. Man, it's tall.

So I seem to start a new blog every year, whenever I get the flimsiest of inspirations while doing things I'm not really paying attention to in the first place. And I've done so again: Museum Of Pop Archaeology. It is, I trust, self-explanatory.

There is also a Facebook Group for the Museum that you may consider joining.

The Benign Comedy is still up, but on hiatus. I'm just not into telling the truth lately.

Thanks. I'm out like Clay Bennett's soul.

--P

OT: Seattle hoops fans order macchiatos in droves Tuesday morning

Shrug — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:04:09 -0000

Hold your horses, it's officially become a screwball comedy: Howard Schultz is going to sue Clay Bennett to regain ownership of the Sonics.

This is just flat-out adorable. This is the cutest thing.

It's a Hail Mary, of course, and I don't think it'll work in the end, but it's at least a little more likely the Sonics' impending move to OK City might get delayed for a spell.

OT: Govt. Shocked, SHOCKED, that Bennett lied to Seattle

Shrug — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:15:36 -0000

From the Seattle Times, verification that you, the sports fan, are smarter than most state and local officials in these matters, and definitely smarter than would-be sports team owners who still haven't learned never to correspond via the internet: The long-rumored emails indicating that Clay Bennett was planning to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City long before he was supposed to legally start talking about it.

Um, question. Little question here. How exactly was it that I, a poor schlub erstwhile fake sportswriter, figured out that this was Bennett's plan within hours of the announcement that he'd bought the team?

And I am to believe that local government officials are truly stunned, and not feigning indignation, that these self-proclaimed rednecks were not operating in good faith, but in fact fucking liars?

You mean, we really are smarter than the people we're electing? Wow! I thought that was just a gimmick to make us watch more cable!

Good lord. This is hilarious.

I'm not saying anything more. It might sound like I'm bitter.