Lidstrom retired, Tim Thomas continues to be crazy, and hockey was not played. Yawn. What's up with you all today?

Leafs Links

Preview: Marlies vs. Admirals, Calder Cup Final

Jeffler with the rundown.

Marlies Face a Formidable Foe

Mirtle with a look at the Calder Cup Final.

Is This the Best Beard of the AHL Playoffs?

I think that guy from Norfolk has a better one, but D'Amigo is on the podium.

Don't Trade Carl Gunnarsson

Mike at VLM sees Lidstrom's retirement an wants the Leafs to keep their own Swede.

Pilot's Logbook 2011-12: Time Stapleton

Yet another cheap bottom 6 player that Brian Burke ran out of town for overpaid shitty players like Colton Orr, Colby Armstrong, and Mike Brown.

For those of you like myself who were forced to watch Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final on NBC and berated by the voices and faces of Doc Emrick, Pierre McGuire, Mike Milbury, and Darren Pang (seriously, what a shit show) perhaps the hardest thing to endure is knowing that up North our Canadian neighbors got treated to a bitching CBC montage. Well my American, and other country, brethren, I bring you that montage in all of its glory.

Peep the Kopitar goal at :46. Look familiar?

Links after the jump.

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I bring you links on this, the most sexually suggestive day of the week.

Leafs Links

Frattin Out Rest of Postseason with Knee Injury

Well that sucks.

Matt Frattin Out for the Season, and More Injury Updated

Jeffler with the dl on the Marlies DL.

Why are the Leafs Called the Leafs?

How exactly does the posi-trac rear end on a Plymouth work?

Maple Leafs Sign Forward Leo Komarov

Temper your expectations now.

That being said....

Reasons Why Leafs Fans Should Love Leo Komarov

Sleza tells us why we shall enjoy our new bearded warrior.

Phil Kessel's Awkward Draft Combine Adventure

Poor little fella. With a combine that bad he'll never be a good player.

Would We Care as Much if the Marlies Were Located Elsewhere?

Probably.

Other Links

NHL GMs are Going to Consider a New Rule - And It's Terrible

Agreement.

Kings vs Devils: The 2012 Stanley Cup Preview

Birthday boy DGB looks at the Finals match up.

After Steve Yzerman's Luongo-centric comments on a Tampa radio station, you just knew Mr. Roberto would be back in the Leafs cooler talk. Here's Mike from VLM on why he doesn't want Luongo:

My reasons are not based on advanced stats or any of the other neat stuff that likely "proves" the long-time netminder is actually one of the best in the business. I know Luongo is one of the more talented goaltenders in hockey. I’m aware he was the guy between the pipes when Canada won the Olympics in 2010.

I just don’t believe he is the right—or best—fit for the Maple Leafs right now.

Even if we set aside his gargantuan salary, which still has, what, ten years to go on it and at a really big number—I view him as damaged goods.

Why you ask? Head on over to get the whole story.

Links

Burke, Carlyle, and the Top 6 Bottom 6 Model

All are stupid.

The 10 Most Annoying Hockey Fans

Yes, he's on there. Yup, him too.

To get a different perspective and take on yesterday's news that CBC has picked the While the Men Watch blog for coverage of the Stanley Cup Finals, we turn to Heather. You can follow her on Twitter; @fergus30.

Being a Leafs fan is not easy, as many of you know. Being a Leafs fan is harder when you’re trying to buy a t-shirt with your teams logo and you’re sold something like this.

The segmentation of female sports fans is not new, but with the news yesterday that a sports blog titled While the Men Watch has been picked up by the CBC to provide hockey commentary, this issue has come up once again. Because of this, I was approached to share my opinion about it on this handy dandy blog. Hello!

First off, let’s look at this blog. While the Men Watch is basically two women who provide live commentary of sporting events. Their commentary intends to "keep women entertained during football, hockey, basketball, baseball games and more". The fact that this blog was picked up resulted in a huge outburst of opinion and commentary online. What I’d like to do in this blog post is breakdown some of the problems that I see with the CBC picking up and funding their commentary during the Stanley Cup finals, as well as some problems with the reactions to their blog in the greater hockey community as I observed it on Twitter.

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via blogimages.thescore.com

Originally posted over on Reddit Hockey, the Backhand Shelf sheds some light on the psychology of being a Leafs fan and how it might drive one to drink. Bottoms up to Brian Burke!

Links after the jump.

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Some say that we here at Pension Plan Puppets Heavy Industries and Pug Manufacturing LLC have a reputation of being rather harsh, and justifiably so. We don't take kindly to bigots, homophobes, and Habs fans and we let them know it. However, the one groups we despise more than any other is those who insist on posting inane trade proposals. Now that's not to say that good trade proposals can't be debated, they should, but when you get up into "Malkin to the Kings" territory well, we going to call you an idiot.

Ladies and gentlemen it is my pleasure to introduce to you HFBoards user Arik Kristal, creator of perhaps the stupidest and most convoluted series of trades I have ever seen. Behold the idiotic:

let me start off by stating I am not saying any of these trades would happen but rather what I would try and accomplish if I had the chance.

To Anaheim - Grabovski & Blacker
To Toronto - 1st in 2012 (6th overall) & Rights to Justin Schultz

To Edmonton - Gunnarsson, ANA 1st in 2012 (6th overall) & 2nd in 2012 (35th overall)
To Toronto - 1st in 2012 (1st overall)
......

To New York I - EDM 1st in 2012 (1st overall via TOR)
To Toronto - 1st in 2012 (4th overall) & Nelson

- Brock Nelson is a physical center who is projected to be a good 3rd line center with potential to be a 2B type center. Toronto desperately needs a good hitting with scoring upside centerman to play third line minutes.

That's right, when you boil it all down it's Grabovski + Blacker + Gunnarsson + our 2012 2nd rounder for the 2011 4th overall pick and some plug named Brock Nelson.

You would read this and think, "Ho boy, this kid's off his rocker!" and you're right, and you're also wrong. For you see, this is merely a smidgen of the overall grand scheme that Mr. Arik Kristal has devised. The whole, long idiotic trade rant can be found here. May God have mercy on your Hockey IQ.

Links after jump.

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Marlie Open Conference Finals With Win - Jeffler at Marlies HQ

While saying that the Marlies had a good shot at this series was far from a ridiculous prediction, nobody could say that they expected tonight’s start. If they did, they were probably criticized for doing so, and deserve much apology. Against the odds and concepts of common sense, the boys in blue and white entered the Cox Convention Center and not only won, but did so in a commanding fashion, with a 5-0 shutout.

Head on over for the full recap. Links after the jump.

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Sure this has nothing to do with the Leafs, but it's too good of a story to pass up.

Letter to Jets Fans Past and Present - Jeff Mazur at The Hockey Writers

I know this doesn’t apply to everyone, just some of you. You know who you are. The Phoenix Coyotes are not the Winnipeg Jets. They never have been.

Yes, I know the Jets left our fair city and headed to the desert 16 years ago, but they ceased to be the Winnipeg Jets in July of 1996 when title of the team was transferred to the new owners. They had their own management team put in place. Yes, the players made the move (or at least some of them) but they were wearing different jerseys and played in a different country. Teemu was already gone and Alexi Zhamnov never made the trip. It didn’t take long for most of the players who wore the Jets jersey to move on to other organizations.

I’ve always known that people were out there who refused to let go, and you’d think the fact that we have a team named the Jets back in town would put that to rest, but apparently that’s not enough for those of you still living in the past.

There is no doubt in my mind that had Winnipeg won a Cup or two, this guy would be calling for the banners to be hung in MTS Arena.

Links after the jump.

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Money, expectations and our macho culture can’t help but lead to issues for many athletes: a delicate balance that doesn’t always work out - Mike Langlois at Vintage Leaf Memories

When Ron MacLean spoke the other night on Hockey Night in Canada and tried to, albeit somewhat awkwardly, compare the efforts of hard-working hockey players at playoff time with those of the courageous responders during 9-11, it brought a predictably negative response.

The long-time host was trying to say something very positive about the players while also paying homage to the real heroes of that tragic day more than a decade ago. Upon reflection, he may have chosen his words a bit differently, but his heart was no doubt in the right place.

That said, I think a lot of us have struggled for a long time with how we think about sports and sports figures, and this notion of athletes as not only "heroes" but "warriors". It’s a difficult thing. People often want, perhaps even need what we perceive as heroes- maybe as a kind of psychological pick-me-up. It might be that we are struggling with something in our own lives. Perhaps the human heart just needs to hear, see and touch nice, uplifting stories every once in a while. And that’s OK.

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So last night the Flyers fell to the Devils, and three of the four conference finalists are now known. Tonight could make it four as the Rangers are one game away from eliminating the Capitals. Who ya got in tonight's game? What about the possible conference finals matchups? I gotta go with Los Angeles and the winner of New York - Washington. What say you?

Links after the jump so take it.

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This is where you can talk about hockey.

This is where I would put the links if I hadn't driven back from Montreal last night after walked a quarter of a marathon while the lady friend ran half of one. Needless to say, tired.

Put your links in the comments and I'll get to them throughout the day. The following is necessary to hit the necessary 150 word count need to get this FTB posted to the Facebook page.

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Staying up to watch a double-OT game that didn't start until 8:30pm EST because NBCSports is stupid will do many things to man. One of them being making him forget to write an FTB. I am that man. This is that FTB. Tonight starts the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

In the West:

#2 St Louis Blues vs. #8 Los Angeles Kings

#3 Phoenix Coyotes vs. #4 Nashville Predators

In the East:

#1 New York Rangers vs. #7 Washington Capitals

#5 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils

Who ya got? Who's your Conn Smythe favorite after Round 1?

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(Not Leafs related, but whatever.)

If you're on Twitter and for some reason follow Michael Yormark, president of the Florida Panthers, than you know that he's...well frankly he's a dick. On multiple occasions he's resorted to childish name calling against those who have expressed their dislike with some of the Panthers' goings on. Like this one here.

But as Puck Daddy pointed out yesterday, this was Yormark as his most dickish:

Funny think about being a dick, everyone wants you to get your comeuppance. Take the jump to find out how you can contribute.

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With all of this Playoff hockey on TV, I believe I've created my very own permanent Homer Simpson butt groove in my couch. I have no regrets.

Leafs Links

Leafs Nation Podcast: PLAYOFFS!!1

Yes, playoffs.

Talking Marlies, NHL Playoff Hockey, and 10 Questions

Mike from VLM does some musing.

A Sad and Confused Leafs Fan

Looks like we've found out who this guy is.

2011-12 Season in Review: Top 6 Forwards

And you included Nazem Kadri why?

TML Captains: Syl Apps

The Hockey Writers continue their series.

Marlies Take 1-0 Series Lead - Jeffler at MarliesHQ

Just when you thought that ten games was enough times to see two hockey teams face each other, the Toronto Marlies and Rochester Americans have set themselves up for another few attempts at it all. The crazy part though? This time, it means something. Something more. You see, the first ten were just bragging rights. These three to five games? They’ll decide who’s season continues and who’s fades into obscurity.

Tonight, the Marlies had an opportunity to make a huge first statement, one that would also clear away the sour endings of the regular season. The crowd was pumped, eager to see playoff hockey in Toronto for the first time in recent memory. The players knew what they had to do, and opened the series with a 4-3 victory.

Head on over there for the full game recap. More links after the jump.

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In last night's Blackhawks v. Coyotes Raffi Torres did what Raffi Torreses does and delivered a late, leaping headshot to the chin of Marian Hossa breaking Big Hoss' jaw. Twice this season Torres has been on the receiving end of the Shannahammer giving him the lable 'repeat offender'; a fine for elbowing Jan Hejda and a 3 game press box visit for a charge on Nate Prosses. Oh and he was suspended for 4 games last year; 2 regular, 2 playoff, for his elbow to the head of Jordan Eberle. Raffi Torres is living proof that the NHL's current method for curbing in-game stupidity is, in itself, stupid. Three times now Torres has received punishment for his on-ice actions, and three times now he's followed that up with another discipline worthy action.

Everyone likes to point to Matt Cooke's new found hockey chastity as an example of "the system" working. I ask you, what going to get a player back into line more; fines and suspensions, or having your wife tear you a new asshole for writing a six-figure check with your stupid play? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Do I have a solution for curbing reckless play? Not really. Fines and suspension don't work. Having goons on your team doesn't work. Has anyone thought to just sit these players done and ask them nicely to quit be such idiots?

Links after the jump.

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Yesterday the Penguins and Flyers most certainly did not piss on Eddie Shore. That game was straight out of the 1970s and I loved every minute. Here be your links.

Leafs Links

Rumbling of Leafs Defections

Brian Burke Damien Cox with news that Francois Allaire may be out the door.

Leafs Nation Podcast: Lotto Pick Edition

Give it a listen.

Schenn and Gustavsson: Looking at a Future Elsewhere?

Yeah, probably.

2011-12 Season in Review: Bottom 6 Forwards

Crappy players. All of them.

TML 2011-12 Season in Review.

Crappy. All of it.

Other Links

Play it Safe Sedin

LD introduces the newest hockey meme.

Game of Thrones Hockey Jersey Poll

Dave's Geeky Hockey wants to know which house you serve.

Overtimes. Multiple Overtimes. Blowouts. Damn do I love me some Playoff hockey. Not a lot happened in Leafland yesterday (save for Ricky Vaive getting cleared of drunk driving charge, so uhh good for him.) But now that we're in the dry season for Leafs content, at least the Globe and Mail Roundtable is still talking Buds. Go give their latest podcast a listen.

Links

Finding the Forest in the Trees

MLHS writes a lot.

The NHL Point System is Flawed

That is correct.

The NHL Playoffs

Mike from VLM with a friendly reminder of what Leafs fans want.

Author's Note: This is a re-post from last year because the MSM talking heads just can't seem to get things right.

Last weekend, once the Canucks had secured their first overall finish, we got more tales of the Presidents' Trophy Curse. "Only 30% of teams who win the Presidents' Trophy go on to win the Cup" they said. "It would have been better to finish second" they said. "Look what happened to Washington in years past" they said. What a bunch of unfounded bullshit I say.

Here at PPP Amalgamated Heavy Industries Kitten Ranch and Pug Manufacturing LLC, we have a set of rules for the betterment of all. My favorite rule is Rule #5: Fact Checking. So I'm going to put Rule #5 to the test when it comes to this supposed curse of the Presidents' Trophy Curse.

Follow me after the jump to learn why the "curse" is a bunch of bull.

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So the draft lottery happened last night with the Edmonton Oilers channeling their inner Chicago Bulls and pulling off the three-peat. Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Nail Yakupov? Their team will score a million goals and let in a million plus one. Also, lol Columbus.

Anywho, with the Oilers winning, the Leafs stayed put at fifth overall and truth be told, that's historically been a pretty good place to draft great players from. Going back 32 years to the 1980 draft, the 5th overall spot has produced good players such as:

Jaromir Jagr, Bill Guerin, Tom Barasso, Darius Kasparaitis, Rob Niedermayer, Tim Connolly, Thomas Vanek, Blake Wheeler, Carey Price, Phil Kessel, both Schenns, Ryan Whitney, and Eric Brewer.

Not too shabby. Now let's hope Burke doesn't go and screw up all up by drafting Tyler Biggs 2.0.

Links after the jump

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Here be your links. Maple Leafs 2011-12 Season by the numbers coming later. Here be your links.

Leafs Links

Let's Talk Honesty About Direction

Mike from VLM brings up Part 1 of 2.

My Brief Time as a Toronto Maple Leafs Goalie

Loser Domi recalls he one change between the pipes.

It's a Bonanza!

BCP is looking forward to the draft lottery.

The Toronto Maple Leafs of Oz

We're not in Kansas anymore or something.

Jake Gardiner: 2011-12 Rookie Season

Breaking down Silver's inaugural season.

Other Links

End of the Year Fantasy Hockey Awards

Dirty Dangle hands out rewards for the best and worst fantasy hockey pickups.

How the NHL's Draft Lottery Works

The draft is only good for the pick the Leafs have minus 1.

When he wasn't hunting vampires, Abraham Lincoln was busy being one of history's greatest orators. One of his greatest sayings was, "You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time"; something the Toronto Maple Leafs are finding out the hard way right now. Two weeks ago the Leafs were eliminated from the Playoffs and since then they've gone 3-2-2 and nobody is happy about it for a variety of reasons. "Leafs should be losing these games so they get a better draft pick!" "Leafs should have won these games back in February when it mattered!" "Leafs should try their hardest and play Playoff spoilers! (Note: Buffalol)". Etcetera and so on.

Look, you can't ask a professional hockey team to lose games. You simply can't. You may want them to lose games, but getting upset when the team you cheer for wins is patently absurd. Last night on Twitter I saw as many "Great job Phaneuf!" tweets as I did "F*** you Phaneuf you idiot!" ones; all from Leafs fans. Here's a simple question, "Did you cheer for Leafs wins back in October?" Of course you did, and the Leafs won quite a few. Hooray! Then came February and March and suddenly winning hockey games became a big no-no. A win back in October was just as "costly" to the Leafs draft pick as the W they got last night, but nobody was cursing Phil Kessel for scoring a hattrick against Ottawa like they were Dion Phaneuf for last night's OT winner. Either you want the Maple Leafs players to do well and the team to win games, or you don't. If it's the latter that you want, then I'm sorry to say, but you're no fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

That's my two-cents on this. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong in the comments.

Links after the jump.

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Leafs Links

With Average Goaltending the Leafs Would Have Made the Playoffs

Ayup.

What Have you Done for me Lately?

The Hockey Writers look at Five Leafs Prospects.

Goaltender Independent plus/minus rates for the Leafs

Cam Charron breaks down the numbers and........god damn Lombardi you suck.

The Leaf Game Against the Sabres Mean Nothing, but Something

A loss is still a loss, this one somehow hurt more.

Game Recaps

Globe and Mail

MLHS

More links after the jump.

Other Links

Tips to Make Sure you Watch Every Playoff Game

Dirty Dangle wants to help you turn into a true couch potato.

The Montreal Canadiens' Applicant Form for Vacant GM Job

I checked "Speaks Randy Cunneyworth-level French."