Over at BBTiA, Joey's head and heart reenact last night's Wrestlemania 27 while recapping Matt Harrison's sterling performance against the BoSox. Was it another tease from Matty Ice, or a portent of things to come? A teaser (or portent -- take your pick!):

Harrison parked his fastball around 92-93 mph for the better part of the afternoon... since fastball velocity does correlate meaningfully with run prevention, I'll be interested to see if he can sustain this beyond yesterday and well into the first few months of the season...

Go, now, and read!

In the aftermath of the still-mysterious Matt Treanor trade, and in fevered anticipation of Opening Day, Joey Matches updates his much-fabled but seldom-seen Texas Rangers Playing Time Matrix™. Thrill to the optimism of Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, and Nelson Cruz playing 154 games each! Ponder how David Murphy and the Mikes Napoli and Young will get their plate appearances! Learn the definition of the word "troika"! Don't delay, read now!

(The pie is a lie.)

Wherein he channels his inner Anne Robinson. Scott Kazmir, Erik Bedard, and the Brandons Webb and McCarthy: oh my! (I'm not afraid of shoulder injuries, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not afraid of shoulder injuries...) And for his grand finale?

Él deja la pista del caballo del Magico en la cama de Evan Grant.

Mi madre!

Also: Jason Parks channels his inner Paul Simon. (Paywall caveat here.) Cantando me y Julio Teherán abajo por el patio de escuela...

GhettoBear crafts a searing indictment of the Red Scare by mobilizing the Salem Witch Trials as a metaphor fascinating look at the MLB's latent mechanism for sorting playing time by talent, and ponders whether wins should be valued linearly. It turns out that Nolan Ryan was amazingly good at baseball -- and, in fact, Julio Borbon is pretty good at baseball too, and double-plus good relative to you, jerk-face. Plus: supplemental special effects such as you've never seen before: a mind-bending GIF! Go, now!