Dear Cubs Bullpen,

You don't have to load the bases in the 9th every night, give up 3 run HRs to fritter away large leads and let teams back into games to make me pay attention to you or try and win me over again.  Your behavior as of late is on par with the crazy ex-girlfriend who sets a car on fire with hopes that it will make you love her again and that, besides being entirely pathetic and crazy, is beneath you.  You're better than that.

Warmest,
SofaKingChicago