There’s really only one word that aptly describes the feeling after last night’s game between the Houston Texans and the Baltimore Ravens came to its sudden end.  That word is crestfallen. The good people over at infoplease.com define crestfallen as “dejected”; “dispirited”; or “discouraged”.

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It seems like ions ago that yours truly was fortunate enough to be chosen by Marroncito (Aaron) for two giveaway tickets to a Texans game.    Here's a refresher for you-  It seems Aaron had won two free tickets to the Texans/Been Gals game at Reliant, but he couldn't make it to the game himself.  So, he posted an entry on BRB (try as I might I couldn't find it, or I would provide a link) asking for comments and reasons why he should choose whomever provided the winning comment.  For some reason, he chose me.

Now the game was the last Sunday in October, so why did it take so long to get a post up about it?

Lots of reasons-  1:   I've just had too many irons in the fire.  Work has been incredibly busy.  70 Hour work weeks just don't lend themselves to having any free time to blog about football.  2:  Not to go into great detail here, but suffice it to say that the few months since the game have been a rollercoaster ride for me on a personal level.  If I had the free time, the emotional pitfalls did not make it where I COULD write...anything.   3:  And this sort of ties in with number two-  my sisters husband of 24 years lost his yearlong battle with lymphoma in November, and I'm sorry BRB, but that takes precedence over football.  4:  And this is probably the least important of all-  The home HP would not allow me to post here.  For some reason, every time I try to put up a new fanpost on BRB, I get rerouted to the SB Nation sign in page.   What?  I'm already signed in!   Why do I need to signin again?  Frustration after about 3 attempts at posting would send my blood pressure up so I had to just get off the computer for a while.   In fact, the home puter is so bad, that I'm posting this after hours at work.

About the actual game, there are a few things I learned that weekend.  For Instance, marroncito (Aaron) is much more handsome in person than I expected.  I mention this in the most manly, heterosexual way possible, and the lovely Southern Lioness concurrs with my assessment.   Another thing I learned is that maaroncito is also a prophet.  Here's what I mean-  when we met Aaron and picked up the tickets, he said to my wife (the aforementioned Southern Lioness) "You're gonna get to see Jacoby Jones return a punt for a touchdown".   Anyone remember how the Texans scored their first points?  That's right, on a Jacoby Jones 72 yard punt return, where at the end he did the Lambeau Leap, or I mean the Houston Hop, right into his moms waiting arms.

Well, my abundant apologies to Aaron and all of BRB for not posting this sooner.  I've got a little more free time now and hope to be around BRB more often.  I'll post a few photos of the trip next time, which I hope is in a few days.

Thanks for reading, and GO TEXANS!

SL

I’ve been about as busy lately as a one armed drummer in a heavy metal band (no, don’t give me any Def Leppard dish, they are NOT heavy metal), so when I finally got two minutes to catch my breath Sunday morning I thought to myself (I’ve found that’s the best way to think) it’s the perfect opportunity to fire off a fanpost on the BRB.   I mean, I haven’t even had time to go on BRB lately, let alone post something.

So, I organized my thoughts about the game against the Baby Horses, and came up with what I thought was a decent post.  Not on the level of a Tim, or a Solis, but adequate non-the-less.  After writing the text, I copied and saved in the post window and hit the “publish” key.  It was then that SB Nation sent to the log-in page.   I was already logged in!  After 4-5 times of attempting to post, I gave up, dropped by Tim’s open thread for game day, and vented a little.

For the record, and I’m going to be straight-up and say this like the man that I am, here’s what I would have posted:  Lone Star Denizens 24, Indianapolis Baby Horses 21.  After watching the first half and part of the second, the sour taste of SB Nation was out of my mouth for good I thought, as our Texans were pushing the Indy team around with 27 unanswered points after spotting Manning and company 10 in the first quarter.   So when I left to go my afternoon gig I felt confident.  Super Mario had sacked Archie’s #1 son twice, and we were about to beat those Mares from Indiana.  Not outscore them, but B-E-A-T them.  So when I got home Sunday night and flipped on ESPN (I can’t stand there programming, but the score ticker at the bottom of the screen catches you up quickly) I was shocked.  Dumbfounded.  Despondent.  I didn’t have a warm fuzzy anymore, but the warm taste of pseudo-puke in my throat.  Thirty-one to twenty-seven?  What the hell?

Anyway, this week we host the Poor-pusses from Little Cuba.  If we lose to this team, this week, at Reliant, we should all gather at the 50 yard line at midnight and drink antifreeze together.  This team is 2-2?  They were 1-15 last year, and damn-it, we are a better team than they are.  Oil City Texans 30, Little Cuba Poor-pusses 17.  Bank on it. 

After last night’s game I still have an optimistic outlook for our team.   The Cowgirls finished 13-3 last season and they were one botched field goal attempt away from advancing into the second round of last year’s playoffs, so the 1 point loss doesn’t really hurt that much.  But it was to Dallas, damn-it, and that makes the sting linger a bit.

My computer didn’t think I should have participated in the live game thread, so it didn’t let me, but at least I got to see the Texans on TV, albeit only because they were playing Dallas, and I’ve mentioned so many times how the wuss TV stations in this town ooze over the Cowboys like Kirsty Ally does over banana pudding that I’m sure your all sick of it so I won’t bring it up, even though I just did.  Sorry for the run-on sentence.

Schaub started out a little off, but regained his game in time to make the first half competitive, just like good quarterbacks are supposed to do.  Kevin Walter seems to be stable at the side opposite AJ.  If memory serves me correctly he had 6 catches and almost 100 yards with a score, just like good second receivers in the NFL are supposed to do.

Steve Slaton looked good running the ball and so did Chris Taylor.  As long as those two stay healthy I like our running back situation.  Looks like Taylor will not only make the roster, but could also see time at both fullback and tailback.  Slaton’s quickness makes him fun to watch, but then again, it’s what NFL running backs who had great collegiate careers are supposed to do.

I don’t know, and maybe Tim can find this out, but did Jacoby Jones know before the snap of that 2-point conversion attempt that the ball was coming to him?  He was not even contested by the Dallas defender and just failed to catch the ball.  It almost seemed like he had a case of nerves.  Good thing the game didn’t count in the win-loss record.   I hope Kubiak or the wide receivers coach pulled him aside after the game and had a little talk with him.   Other than that miss he played a decent game.  To drop a pass attempt for a game winning 2-point conversion better not happen during the regular season.  It is, after all, what an NFL receiver is supposed to do.

Here we are the first week of training camp and I'm juiced about the Texans upcoming season. Don’t misread "juiced" to mean drunk, although, after you read this you may be skeptical about my rumored sobriety.

The season holds so much hope at this time of year. Every team is on an even par as far as their future and the season is concerned. Every coach is fielding questions about this player or that player, when will this draft pick be signed, etc.

 This year, just like last, the season is full of promise and hope. Promise that Travis Johnson will produce and hope that Petey Faggins learns to cover. There are also a lot of things that I, for one, hope to see this year. Here are a few things that this year may bring us. These are not predictions, just some things that have a chance to happen.

1. Mario Williams will sack Peyton Manning 4 times this season, with at least 1 happening during the Indy road game.

2. John Facenda will do at least 100 rpm in his grave every time ESPN’s Chris Berman lowers his voice obnoxiously and utters the phrase "Frozen tundra of Lambeau Field".

3. During the Texans/Browns game on November 23rd, a Texan defender will, while attempting to make a sideline tackle on Jamal Lewis, take out Brady Quinn. This will cause Quinn to drop his million-dollar clipboard and soil his uniform, from the inside.

4. Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, Demeco Ryans, Mario Williams and Duane Brown will all go to the Pro Bowl, and not as spectators.

5. A despondent John Madden mopes and complains that he doesn’t know who to man-crush since Bret Favre isn’t playing (I hope to God almighty Favre stays retired). My spell check hates Schaub, but isn’t bothered at all by Favre, WTH?

6. Peyton Manning and Eli Manning both make it to the Pro Bowl, thanks to dad Archie pulling some strings on a "sweet" last minute ticket deal.

7. Skip Bayless loses his voice for 7 months. (Dare I to dream)

8. During the Texans/Jags game at Reliant Stadium, the roof malfunctions during a downpour, and Jack Del Rio’s Brooks Brothers suit gets soiled, also from the inside.

9. At halftime during a Texans home game, an incoherent Charlie Casserly is found at midfield muttering something to himself about Tony Boselli costing him his job.

 10. At the Texans home game against Tennessee on December 14, the Texans defense sacks Vince Young for more yards than he gets passing.

11. The Texans go 10-6 and make the playoffs as a Wild Card team.

12. At least twice in the comments to this post, references will be made to rodents, peanut butter, and prison sex.

So, there you have it, some things that could happen this season. I’m by no means saying they will, but they could. Tell me how wrong I am.

SL

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So here we are, eight games into the NFL season.  Halfway through the 17 week regular slate of games, and I, as a Texans fan, am about to pull out what little is left of my mane.

The season held such promise.  A new quarterback, Matt Schaub, a backup obtained from Atlanta for two first round picks next year.  Anyone remember the last Falcon backup traded to start for another team?  Brett Favre?  That's right, the Packers all-millennia signal caller with the hair trigger rifle of an arm and winning smile.  So how has the Houston version of the former Falcon quarterback done?  Not quite as well as Favre.  (My spell check hates the names Favre and Schaub)

Week one found the Texans opening up against Kansas City.  Schaub, although not spectacular, did an admirable job and Houston won 20-3.

Week two saw the Houston team fall behind the Carolina Panthers 14-0 before the Texans mounted a comeback on the road and beat the Panthers 34-21.  Schaub was elected President of Houston, without shaking a single hand or kissing any babies.

The Indianapolis Colts came into Houston for game 3 and beat a scrappy Houston team 30-24.  Hanging with the Super Bowl champs for 3-½  quarters and only losing by 6 was seen as an improvement over the hapless Texans of last season.

Week four the Texans went into Atlanta for Schaub's return to Atlanta.  Houston was actually favored.  Good teams are favored to win on the road, not Houston.  Schaub's return to Atlanta was spoiled by too many turnovers that lead to Falcon points.  Schaub is immediately impeached as the President of Oil City.

The Texans won again, although slightly, in week 5 as kicker Kris Brown puts a last second field goal through to beat Miami 22-19.  Kris Brown is nominated for President of Houston.

Fast forward, please, through week 6 as the Texans, who by now are producing more turnovers than Pillsbury, get throttled by Jacksonville 37-17.

Week 7 saw the Titans come to Houston, and marked the annual return of Vince Young to Reliant Stadium.  Young was injured and did not play as Tennessee was quarterbacked by Vinny Testaverde's baby brother, Kerry Collins.  Collins performed masterfully from his prescription motorized scooter as he directed the Titans to a big lead over Houston.  Schaub left the game with an injury, so, in comes Texans backup Sage Rosenfels, who proves to be wiser than his namesake, and leads the Texans to a come-from-behind lead with less than a minute to play.  Collins, who had fallen asleep while watching a Matlock rerun on the sideline, comes in to engineer a last minute game winning drive punctuated by Rich Baronas' eighth field goal, an NFL all time record.  Baronas is appointed King of Tennessee.

Which brings this recap to last week's game.  Houston was on the road again, this time playing the Chargers in San Diego.  My ex-wife was a fan of the Chargers, until she found out the reason they're called the Chargers has nothing to do with a credit card.  I know, I've used that joke before, and I'll use it again too.  Deal with it.  The San Diego game was highlighted by a helmet to helmet cheap shot by the Chargers' CB Drayton Florence.  The hit put Schaub out of the game with a concussion.  It's rumored that Schaub was overheard on the sideline commenting that he didn't even know Florence Henderson still played for San Diego.  Chargers won 35-10.

So the Texans sit at the bottom of the AFC South midway through the season at 3-5.  What's a fan to do?  I'll keep watching whether they are winning or losing.  I think that's why I identify so easily with Cleveland fans.  There's always next year.

SL

I haven't been hanging around BRB much lately.  I left the open thread for last week's game somewhere around the third failed attempt to convert a Jags turnover into points.

The Texans loss to Jacksucksville really blew my mood all to hell.  I'm back now after several days in the fetal position in the basement.

Here's a post from my FoxSports.com blog.  It's a few days old.  Read it or don't, I don't give a shit.

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OK, Rod Woodson is not known for his game picking abilities, but the former Steeler and Raven picked Houston to win tomorrow.  I just saw it on NFL Total Access.  I don't have the NFL network, this was on a regionally syndicated version of the access program.  So there's at least one nationally (well NFL network) broadcast football pundit picking the Texans.

Here's a few items on my wish list for the game:

#1- Peyton Manning gets sacked by Mario Williams at least once.  Twice would be good, but I don't want to seem greedy.

#2- I want Manning to be sacked more times than Schaub is sacked.

#3- The Texans defense to force 3 turnovers

#4- The Texans offense to force 0 turnovers

#5- For the game to end with Houston outscoring the Baby Horses.

Cross your fingers.

OK, Here it is, Friday night, and I'm stoked about Sunday's game in Carolina.

The opener was huge.  Not a total pounding, but a 17 point win is still a dominating victory, right?

As far as the game against the Panthers, here are a few things I've come up with, that are just some things that have been rolling around in my head, so I thought I'd tip to one side and let a few of them fall out for BRB perusal.

#1-  I think Jake Delhomme is slightly overrated.  It won't be easy, but I think Super Mario, Demeco and company can get the job done.  We have to pressure the QB or they'll light up the secondary to Smith early and often.  Our D-Line is way better than last year.  I predict the Texans record three Jake Delhomme sacks, and, dare I to dream, maybe one on David Carr.

#2-  Mario Williams is tied with Andre Johnson for the team lead in touchdowns.  Now Johnson needs to figure out how he can get two sacks....

#3-  Speaking of Johnson, Dre should do fine against the Panthers.  I predict he gets 100 yards at least this game too and at least one TD.

#4-  Matt Turk is a great punter.  Chad Stanley did a good job holding for kicks.

#5-  I hope Peter Boulware grasps the defensive schemes quickly.  Earl and Simmons, although not Pro Bowlers, will definitely be missed until Boulware gets up to speed.

#6-  If you rearrange the letters in "Panthers" it becomes "her pants".

#7-  Why does Chris Berman's "Two Minute Drill" on Every Sports Players Nightmare last 7 agonizing minutes?  (OK, That had nothing to do with the game, but still, I'd like to know.)

#8-  Game prediction:  defensive battle, with the Texans getting at least 1 score by the defense, probably an interception returned for a TD by Demeco.  Score Houston 17  Carolina 13.

I have to go to bed before I turn into a pumpkin.

Well, I predicted it would be 20-13, so I spotted the Chiefs 10 points they couldn't find.

I must say that when I saw the shots of the Texans warming up behind the CBS pregame crew and noticed they were wearing all white unis that I got a little scared.  The last time they did?  Opening day last year, and that turned out bad.

Remember when the Oilers used to play in all white?  They almost never won in those.

Matt Schaub is 1-2 as a starter, and only needs what, 15 or 16 more wins to be the Texans all-time winning QB?

We sacked Huard twice, and got 4 takeaways!  We beat Kansas City!  We did not outscore them in a boring game!  We BEAT'em!

It would be so fitting if Carr plays next week when we get win #2!

Well, it's Sunday morning, and I had to come into work to catch up because I've been so behind, which is a good thing really, because we are so busy.

Fired up BRB looking for a little info on last night's game and have none to be found.

I could go to the official site, but I've gotten hooked on BRB, what with Tim, Scott, BFD et. al., the sarcastic comments are right up my alley, with my bent, and totally off the beam sense of humor.

I just need a few questions answered.  How did the punting look?  Was Chad "bad" as usual, or did Turk "work"?

Did Schaub look like he deserved the job?

Was Rosenfels "cold as hell"?  (an oxy-moron I know, but this is Texas)

Was Ahman Green playing to be seen?  (That rhyme is a reach I know)

I can't think of anything that rhymes with Akoye, Williams, or Ryans.  

Living in no man's land (San Antonio) the Texans rarely get TV play, especially when the games on the NFL Network, which few people have, and that sucks out loud.

I realize this was an exhibition, not a competition, but preseason Texans is better than no Texans.  Even the local sports radio station, "The Ticket" 760, which is part of the Texans network didn't carry it.  They broadcasted, get this, the San Antonio Silver Stars WNBA game.  Woe is me.

Somebody, let me know!

Well, not actually on the football field.  Here's the deal- I have a friend on SportingNews.com that goes by the sreen name of sf4d9erfan1.  He has a feature on his blog every friday called Friday Night Fights, where he pits two SN members against each other in a debate fashioned after a boxing match.  Recently I participated and represented the Texans against a Cowboy fan whose screen name is TommyLebowitz (could be his real name for all I know).  We had to go six "rounds" of topic debate and convince 3 unknown judges that our team was better than the other.  Here were the six topic rounds:  Quarterback, Running Back, Defense, Coaching, Special Teams, and Fan support.  

This is very long as I have posted the topics which appeared on a Friday, and the results, which were posted the following Sunday.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.  I hope I did BRB and the Texans proud.  Here is the post...

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Following BFD's plea for us all to post more diaries, I thought I would offer this from my Sporting News blog.  During the NBA playoffs I had a friendly bet with both Phoenix and Cleveland fans on SN, where whichever team won the respective playoff series (the Spurs)the fans of the other team would change the team logos on their favorites page to that of San Antonio.  It went over pretty well.  This post is about NFL helmets.  I know, useless, but it's something to post.  It's kind of long, so some of you may need a potty break in the middle.  Let me know what you think.  This is just my opinion.  Pay particular attention to what I say about the Texans and let me know your opinions.  Be nice.  This cost's you nothing.

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With Okoye signing the Texans have all their draft choices inked and I, for one am stoked about the oncoming season.  With Mario Williams, Demeco Ryans, Dunta Robinson, and Okoye, the defense seems to be very solid, and much improved.  In fact I'm going out on a limb and predicting that Houston finishes second in the division this season.  Probably still not a playoff visit, but second behind probably those silly baby horses from Indy.  

So, here is a purely subjective and useless poll just to get your opinions.  Five years from now, how many Pro Bowls will Okoye have been elected to?

With the Astros up 8-0 in the top of the 6th, Carlos Beltran came to bat and most of the fans in attendance at Minute Maid Park abruptly booed him, in reference to his opting not to return to Houston and the Astros in favor of the Mets in The Big Apple.

Beltran subsequently hit a two run homer to make the score 8-2 Houston.  After Beltran crossed home plate Greg Lucas, who's doing color commentary on the FSN tv broadcast, suggested that the Astros fans would serve themselves better to ignore Beltran when he comes to bat as opposed to booing him, because the boos would probably cause him to focus better at the plate, and he could then possibly get hits off 'Stros pitching.

Now, this may now be a moot point, since today's game is the last of the season between these two teams.

My question is quite simply this:  Should the fans continue to boo when a player who goes to a different team over the Astros bats, or should they take the high road and simply ignore the player and let bygones be bygones?

Curious as to the result.

Hey all.  I'm a Crawfish Box newbie, and huge Astros fan in San Antonio.  I found this site through a link on the Texans SB site, Battle Red Blog.

Hunter Pence just made a huge play against the Mets, catching a long fly and throwing a dead strike to home plate keeping the Mets' Reyes from tagging and scoring from third.  What a great find Pence has turned out to be.

As a BRB newbie, I would like a critique.  This is the text of a blog I posted on my SportingNews.com blog from April.  Tell me what you think.  I can take it.

The way our bookkeeping system at work operates requires that once a customer picks up an order we send a signed copy to the home office who will in turn bill the customer by generating an invoice for payment. We send this copy to them via fax machine. If business were war then the machines we use are artillery. If business machines are artillery then the fax machine is the business equivalent of the slingshot or catapult, antiquated and one slow labored breath away from extinction.

The other day I was attempting to transmit a fax to the home office which failed. The reason for the failure was listed as "poor line condition". Apparently, and totally to my surprise, I have been using the official fax machine of the Houston Texans.

Regarding the Texans, the recent announcement by the NFL of the team schedules for the upcoming season got me to thinking about the Texans, their oncoming season, and once again, dare I to dream, the possibility that they might actually make the playoffs for the very first time. Then I came back down to earth and remembered that these are the Houston Texans and realized that there are several other things that have a higher probability of occurring before the Texans actually do qualify for the post season.

These are not predictions or guarantees, just some things that I think could happen before Houston makes the playoffs. Here they are in no particular order other than numeric:

#1 Tim Hardaway will invite John Ameachi out for a cocktail, and maybe even something to drink.

#2 John Rocker will come out of retirement and win the MLB Humanitarian of the Year Award, and will be elected commissioner of the Major Leagues.

#3 Don Imus will be asked to deliver the graduation commencement ceremony keynote address at Rutger's university.

#4 The San Antonio Spurs and Houston Rockets will merge franchises, relocate to Austin, and change their name to the "Austin Sprockets".

#5 Vince Young's Tennessee Titans and Reggie Bush's New Orleans Saints will play each other in the Super Bowl.

#6 Dick Vitale will finally realize how irritating he is and get on his own nerves so bad that he decides to retire.

#7 The mainstream media and tabloid magazines will print and broadcast stories that actually have nothing to do with Anna Nichole Smith.

As I said these are not predictions or guarantees, just things that I feel have a greater possibility of happening than the Texans making the playoffs.

I originally posted this as a comment to my first "diary" entry (why is it not called a blog?), but decided to repost it as a new diary entry thinking maybe more people would see it....

Thanks for all the welcomes.  My glass is always half full.  I'm not saying Carr was the second coming of John Elway, I'm just saying he should have had a decent line in front of him, and maybe he wouldn't have been too quick to check down to the RB, which by the way, may have been the reason for Dominick Davis' (Williams?) down-fall as well.

The Texans have been my team since before they were a team.  I was a big Oiler fan until Bud Adams, he of the bad toupee, took my team to Tennessee and changed my football world.

I was a Cowboy fan too, until Jones broke a piece of himslef off inside Tom Landry, so, after Adams took the Oilers to Tennessee I spent several years without a team to call my favorite.  So, when I heard Houston would be the next expansion franchise, I could not wait.

By the way, I found BRB on another site that I occasionally visit, FanIQ.com, and I must say, communicating with fans of my team is pretty cool.  So far, it's a great site.  Thanks again for making me feel at home.

I came across the Battle Red Blog through FanIQ.com, where I go to participate in polls and read blogs on all kinds of sports topics.  So far, I have to say BRB is pretty cool.

I have to say that the Texans really disappointed me when they let David Carr go.  I don't think they ever really gave him a chance to play behind a decent o-line.  Just my opinion.