Tomorrow I have a final in American Constitutional Law and though I really should be going over the decision in Regents of the University of California v. Bakke or McDonald's v. Hamburgler or some other bullshit I've decided to put my own academic well-being aside to conduct some very important research so that we can better understand our yellow-jacketed opponents. The following is what I've discovered about our colleagues over at From the Rumble Seat, and I should warn you, it's about to get weird...

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Ok, first please spend a half-hour or so looking over this website:

http://www.qbforce.com/

Done? Good. 

Now look at this:

http://deadspin.com/5286399/ucla-qb-announces-transfer-via-bizarre-press-release

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This is extremely off-topic but seeing as I know that many of the head-honchos of this site are big supporters of Wilco, I'd like to encourage anyone reading to scoop up the remaining tickets for the concert of said band tomorrow night (Thursday, that is) at the IMU Main Lounge. Wilco is really a "big-tent" band, appealing to people of all kinds of musical tastes and age groups. It's the band that the hipster-douche bag and dumbass bro in the DMB t-shirt can both appreciate. Lots of old dudes will also be present. 

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[Bumped. It's up to y'all if you actually want to use the nickname, of course, but the embed makes this a front-page must. --OPS]

I declare the nickname debate over. Our backfield features a dynamic multi-racial duo. The starter, Adam Robinson is Black Hammer, an unrelenting back that refuses to be brought down by any defense. Brandon Wegher is White Lightning, the progeny of a South Dakota storm cloud, flashing across the prairies of the upper Midwest. Combined they plow any opponent that is foolish enough to cross their path, be it Cyclone, Nittany Lion, Red Wolf, Wolverine or Mafioso. And as it was written, so it is.... 

Black Hammer, White Lightning

Awesome Ideas List (Copyright Pending)

• Start John Cougar Mellencamp cover band (begin crowd clap before every song). Possible band names?
• Tim Brewster Twitter that speaks exclusively in lyrics by The Hold Steady (Twin Cities Connection). Potential first tweet: "I did a couple favors for some guys that look like Tusken Raiders." Inevitable forced-resignation tweet: "Loved the Golden Gophers, tired of all the drawn-out winters."
• Drop out of school to focus on above. Stir emotions in proletariat; start the Revolution (theme song: Little Pink Houses?)

Things you may have heard me bitching about in the stands:

• Norm I'm sorry to question your wisdom, but my faith has been wavering.

Norm, I love you but I hate you. You've got to understand Norm, I was raised and remain a devoted Steelers fan. You are the Anti-Dick LeBeau. It pains me to sit and watch the Hawks drop three linebackers in coverage against multi-wide receiver sets and refuse to rush more than four guys. When you finally decided to blitz a corner, we got a sack. Northern Iowa looked like they studied Northwestern game tape and the Iowa coaches seemed unwilling to make any adjustments. They better before next week because Iowa State will certainly have memorized everything UNI did.

• When we drop the Pakibomb, nobody wins (except for the other team).

Paki could not start for UNI. He is a special teams player at best. Please get him out of the backfield forever.

• We need some barely legal action.

This offense is missing dynamic playmakers. All the receivers seem like possession types (even DJK doesn't possess breakaway speed).  Moeaki is solid but is not going to be a Dallas Clark-type playmaker in all likelihood. Paul Chaney Jr. does have the speed to be an exception and it was nice seeing him get a few touches, but more players need to be integrated in to the offense now. Get the true freshmen Brandon Wegher and Keenan Davis on the field. They may be a little lost but the game experience they receive early could allow them to be valuable threats later on. I know it's not Kirk's way but this team is going to need players to fill the void left by Jewel Hampton.

I was at work late last night cleaning a bus instead of getting my swag on at the Lupe Fiasco concert. Yes, I said Lupe Fiasco. No he's nothing like AC/DC. Fuck AC/DC.

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